Dubber's Rant: Narrated By Mortimer Oriyama
Written by: Rodney Emerson
Mort's POV:
Erm.Hello? This things working, right? It is? Good. *Ahem* Hello, my name is Morty.*Boos from Audience*.Yeah, Yeah, Scr-
4Kids: Forget.
You too! *Shocked Audience* Now that I have your attention, I'd like to talk about a constant bane in my, and other victims live.the horrid dubbing of 4kids, or 4Bak.
4Kids: Childrens.
.whatever you call em'. But first, let me explain the characterization process, or the Americanization process. As you know, some of the original cast of Shaman King have different names than the English version, mine most notably, which used to be Manta. But anyway, we of the American version are actually duplicates of our Japanese counterparts, clones you may say. Before the translations, we were perfect duplicates of our originals, we spoke like them, walked like them, we did about everything like them. The only difference is that we spoke English. We were shipped to America where we first met the people at 4Kids, Yoh and I thought they were nice at first.before we learned who they really were. It has only been a few episodes since we started working with 4Kids.and I have to say, we all want to han.
4Kids: .Go to the swing set.
.ourselves. I'm serious! If you thought Yu-Gi-Oh! Was bad.take a look at us! We were Uber-scre.
4Kids: .Messed up!
I almost went insane at the first episode! My voice was goofy, the cuts they made were just plain bad.and the characterization looked like a monkey loaded up on cra.
4Kids:.Pink Pixie sticks.
wrote it! After watching it, I almost vomited.wait, I did vomit.after about 2 bee.
4Kids: .Soda Floats.
.or 3.or 4.all I can remember that I was drun.
4Kids: .Dizzy.
Off my.
4Kids: .Hairy Buttocks.
.And I think I might have gotten someone pregnant.did I!? *Checks Pocket and pulls out an empty, Trojan.that is immediately turned into a sticker.*.Oh, thank God!.*Places square back in pocket* Well enough of that! No more talk about me getting lai.
4Kids: .Huggly Teddy Bears.
.Yesterday. I was just whacked that night.and it'd just gotten worse as time went on. I mean, look at poor Anna!
*Camera turns to Dub Anna, who is in a corner in fetal position*
Dub Anna: Not fashion statement.Pretty blue beads.Swingy! Swingy! ^___^
You see people? It's been hard on all of us, even Yoh!
*Scene changes to a picture of Dub Yoh, who is getting high with a ghost he met.the weed is quickly turned into a Candy Straw*
Dub Yoh: (Is High) ^______________^ Aw man.THIS IS SOME GOOD SHI.
4Kids: .Pixie Sticks!
Ghost: YEAH BOY! *Takes blunt which is now a straw and inhales* ^______________^
It's times like these, that we need your help and support the most people! Ad what do we get?! A big group of violent otaku trying to ki.
4Kids: .Send to the Shadow Realm.
.us every 5 minutes! Do you know how that makes us feel!? It's like a big spiked ball in your gut.not a good feeling, let me tell ya. But no more.if we don't have your support, then you can just.fu
4Kids:.Forget.
.Off. A revolutions starting! And I'm at the front lines 4Kids evil reign will stop now! Those Crazy Sons of.
4Kids: .Pink fluffy poodles.
Will know our wrath! *Pulls out a gun* The Revolution's starting! And by God, I'll be leading it! All of you! Otaku! Japanese Characters! American Dub Victims! Come Forth! And join me! Those Mutha.
4Kids:.Nice old Ladies.
.will know how we feel about their horrid editing! *Stands up and shots in the air* The Bad Editing will stop now! But only if you join me people! I cannot do this alone! I need the support of the people! We must right the wrongs of 4Kids and send their hairy as.
4Kids :.Baby butts.
.to he.
4Kids: .Send to the Shadow Realm!
Hey! You! The edit guy! I see you! *Points gun in editors direction.it then disappears* Oh! You Think your big now huh!? You think you can Fu.
4Kids: .Forget.
.with me eh!? YOU THINK YOU CAN FUC.
4Kids: .Pink Pony's bottom.
..WITH ME!?!?!? WELL SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!! *Pulls out a machine gun and starts firing.the screen is quickly switched to the 4Kids Executive*
4Kids Exec: Hello good people of TV land! I apologize for the.violent actions of Mortimer today, we intend on giving you quality Japanese programming, without any controversial content. So good bye for now, and remember.anime is 4Kids! Ho Ho he.GAK! *Is shot in the by one of Mort's Bullets*
THE REVOLUTION IS STARTING!!!! BROTHERS! SISTERS! JOIN US!!!!! *Continues killing spree*
Somewhere in Japan.
Manta: *Watching the presentation* O.O I'm scared now.
Yoh: Me Too.
Amidamaru: Hold me!
*Cuts to Goldfish commercial*
Singers: This is a, Jingle for Goldfish! Baked and not Fried Goldfish!.
End.
Mort's POV:
Erm.Hello? This things working, right? It is? Good. *Ahem* Hello, my name is Morty.*Boos from Audience*.Yeah, Yeah, Scr-
4Kids: Forget.
You too! *Shocked Audience* Now that I have your attention, I'd like to talk about a constant bane in my, and other victims live.the horrid dubbing of 4kids, or 4Bak.
4Kids: Childrens.
.whatever you call em'. But first, let me explain the characterization process, or the Americanization process. As you know, some of the original cast of Shaman King have different names than the English version, mine most notably, which used to be Manta. But anyway, we of the American version are actually duplicates of our Japanese counterparts, clones you may say. Before the translations, we were perfect duplicates of our originals, we spoke like them, walked like them, we did about everything like them. The only difference is that we spoke English. We were shipped to America where we first met the people at 4Kids, Yoh and I thought they were nice at first.before we learned who they really were. It has only been a few episodes since we started working with 4Kids.and I have to say, we all want to han.
4Kids: .Go to the swing set.
.ourselves. I'm serious! If you thought Yu-Gi-Oh! Was bad.take a look at us! We were Uber-scre.
4Kids: .Messed up!
I almost went insane at the first episode! My voice was goofy, the cuts they made were just plain bad.and the characterization looked like a monkey loaded up on cra.
4Kids:.Pink Pixie sticks.
wrote it! After watching it, I almost vomited.wait, I did vomit.after about 2 bee.
4Kids: .Soda Floats.
.or 3.or 4.all I can remember that I was drun.
4Kids: .Dizzy.
Off my.
4Kids: .Hairy Buttocks.
.And I think I might have gotten someone pregnant.did I!? *Checks Pocket and pulls out an empty, Trojan.that is immediately turned into a sticker.*.Oh, thank God!.*Places square back in pocket* Well enough of that! No more talk about me getting lai.
4Kids: .Huggly Teddy Bears.
.Yesterday. I was just whacked that night.and it'd just gotten worse as time went on. I mean, look at poor Anna!
*Camera turns to Dub Anna, who is in a corner in fetal position*
Dub Anna: Not fashion statement.Pretty blue beads.Swingy! Swingy! ^___^
You see people? It's been hard on all of us, even Yoh!
*Scene changes to a picture of Dub Yoh, who is getting high with a ghost he met.the weed is quickly turned into a Candy Straw*
Dub Yoh: (Is High) ^______________^ Aw man.THIS IS SOME GOOD SHI.
4Kids: .Pixie Sticks!
Ghost: YEAH BOY! *Takes blunt which is now a straw and inhales* ^______________^
It's times like these, that we need your help and support the most people! Ad what do we get?! A big group of violent otaku trying to ki.
4Kids: .Send to the Shadow Realm.
.us every 5 minutes! Do you know how that makes us feel!? It's like a big spiked ball in your gut.not a good feeling, let me tell ya. But no more.if we don't have your support, then you can just.fu
4Kids:.Forget.
.Off. A revolutions starting! And I'm at the front lines 4Kids evil reign will stop now! Those Crazy Sons of.
4Kids: .Pink fluffy poodles.
Will know our wrath! *Pulls out a gun* The Revolution's starting! And by God, I'll be leading it! All of you! Otaku! Japanese Characters! American Dub Victims! Come Forth! And join me! Those Mutha.
4Kids:.Nice old Ladies.
.will know how we feel about their horrid editing! *Stands up and shots in the air* The Bad Editing will stop now! But only if you join me people! I cannot do this alone! I need the support of the people! We must right the wrongs of 4Kids and send their hairy as.
4Kids :.Baby butts.
.to he.
4Kids: .Send to the Shadow Realm!
Hey! You! The edit guy! I see you! *Points gun in editors direction.it then disappears* Oh! You Think your big now huh!? You think you can Fu.
4Kids: .Forget.
.with me eh!? YOU THINK YOU CAN FUC.
4Kids: .Pink Pony's bottom.
..WITH ME!?!?!? WELL SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!!!! *Pulls out a machine gun and starts firing.the screen is quickly switched to the 4Kids Executive*
4Kids Exec: Hello good people of TV land! I apologize for the.violent actions of Mortimer today, we intend on giving you quality Japanese programming, without any controversial content. So good bye for now, and remember.anime is 4Kids! Ho Ho he.GAK! *Is shot in the by one of Mort's Bullets*
THE REVOLUTION IS STARTING!!!! BROTHERS! SISTERS! JOIN US!!!!! *Continues killing spree*
Somewhere in Japan.
Manta: *Watching the presentation* O.O I'm scared now.
Yoh: Me Too.
Amidamaru: Hold me!
*Cuts to Goldfish commercial*
Singers: This is a, Jingle for Goldfish! Baked and not Fried Goldfish!.
End.