Disclaimer- Ne own pas anything.

Alice lived in a small stone house covered in ivy in southern France with a lovely garden full of flowers. She was the kind of girl who it didn't take much to satisfy. She had a loving husband, three beautiful children and enough money to live comfortably. Plus her wonderful new piano certainly didn't take from her happiness. She loved the feeling of ivory keys against her fingers. She didn't care about fancy jewelry or silk dresses. In fact she only had her golden wedding band and a necklace that her dear little sister had given her years ago. A family heirloom.

Today Alice was absent in the usual comings and goings of the small village and her pretty face was greatly missed but no one was surprised because very often Alice was ill, as she was today. Everyone in town loved the soft hearted and beautiful blonde who was known for her delicious baking and her delightful skill at piano as well as for her love for her children.

As she lay in bed she thought about what the doctor had said. There was nothing he could do, she might recover on her own or... Alice stopped, she didn't want to think about. Alice wasn't afraid of much because to have fear you have to have a lot of imagination which had always been something she lacked. All mothers fear something happening to there babies and she feared dying only because her children would be mommy-less not because death scared her.

She was a good christian and had no doubt she would got straight to god even though she had married a protestant while she was catholic. She didn't really see the difference as long as you're a good person and she loved god and trusted he wouldn't hold it against her. It didn't take much imagination to imagine children with no mother. Mrs. Gagnon who lived across the way had died giving birth to her forth baby.

While these unpleasant muses went through her head she head the door being open. Sure enough the shrill voice of her youngest daughter, Satine, Sadie for short, calling her. She got up and put on a dressing gown and went downstairs. And there she found a woman she didn't know wearing a dirty purple dress and looking at her feet.

"Is there something I can do for you miss?" Alice asked uncertainly. The girl looked up and her big, tearful and terribly familiar blue eyes met Alice's brown ones. "Dear god! Satine!"

After Rik left, or rather, was forcefully made to leave, I lay in my flat for who knows how long. I didn't eat, I didn't go to work but I slept and dreamed and cried a lot, not caring if I lived or died. I had made so many stupid mistakes and now they were coming back to haunt me. Childhood it is blissful ignorance but it's a drunk kind of ignorance and you do stupid things and the you wake up with the hang over of being adult. If you aren't lucky enough to have someone to help you to bed then you wake up on the floor.

I had always wondered why adults were so unhappy and now I was just another miserable grown up with problems that had no solution. It was depressing. The weather, it seemed, was mocking me. The sun shone in through the dirty windows telling me to wake up, "it's a beautiful day out" the sky laughed "too bad your alone". Yes, I was delusional. Who can help but be with all this god damned sunlight? I would have preferred a thunderstorm, at least that would have fit my mood.

I kept expecting Rik to come back to rescue me like he had before but he never did. He's probably already replaced me and forgotten. The bastard. I sometimes wondered, as I lay half conscious in the bed that once I had shared with the man I thought to be my soul mate, who I had become. I had never been the type to sulk or feel sorry for myself but then, I had changed so much I hardly knew what I was like anymore. I wondered if you only get one true love. Maybe it was all over. I'd had my happiness and now, now I was alone.

I might have lain there forever till I died but eventually the landlord came to throw me out because I had lost my job and I hadn't been paying the rent. When he did I was too drunk to care but when I sobered up I found myself in a pretty bad situation. I was homeless and alone in a foreign city where I barely spoke the language, with no money and just my suitcase full of dirty clothes. I was beginning to wish I had at least paid attention to my french tutor. My heart was broken but that was not all I concentrated on anymore. Something else had come up, the fight to survive and that was enough to keep me from falling too far into despair. I sold most of my jewelry and bought a train ticket to the last person there was in the world who could help me.

When I arrived at Alice's house a very dear little girl with thick red curls opened the door for me. She introduced herself as Sadie and told me her Mum was upstairs. She must be my niece I decided. Fancy me an Aunt!

Alice came downstairs in a long dressing gown looking older but still beautiful. She seemed so content, so wise and so adult that I found I couldn't face her. She asked if she could do anything for me and I realized she didn't recognize me. I thought I might split in two. My eyes began watering again when I thought about how much I had changed, my own sister who had been my best friend growing up, my all knowing one who alone offered me unconditional love no longer knew who I was. I looked at her and so comprehension fill her dear face.

Then we hugged and cried and tried to talk but found that we couldn't do it without crying more. The little girl was watching us, unsure about our sanity. When we finally could talk we began telling our stories. By then Sadie had been smart enough to leave the room. Alice told me about her three children, the older two, Pierre and Danielle, were at school and little Sadie was named after me because she was youngest like me and had my hair. I told her about Rik and how we ran away and how I'd been so sure it had been love. As I spoke I felt relief and acceptance take me and I cried but this time it was in relief. Alice held me and rocked back and forth like when I was little.

"Poor baby, you're so young and yet have been though so much. I can tell you aren't the little girl I left behind. People think just cause we are older means we don't need love. We need it more than anyone else."

"Love just causes pain. Love is just a game."

"Well my love for you is no game. Now lets get you washed up." She led me upstairs and ran a bath for. I was so tired I almost fell asleep in the hot, soapy water.

After I was clean I felt so much better. Alice lent me one of her dresses, a pale yellow one. It was a color I didn't much care for but it was clean and soft and that's what mattered. Alice had made lunch but I found for someone who had eaten so little lately I wasn't hungry. All the same I ate some, I knew I needed the nutrients. She served me stew and soft bread.

The older children had come home for lunch. They were both pretty and darling. Danielle had straight, fair hair and hazel eyes which reminded me off Rik and almost started me crying again. Pierre had light brown curls and big dark eyes and the prettiest laugh. They both were chattering happily, Sadie listening with her mouth hanging open, her spoon halfway in. Danielle declared happily that summer holiday began in a week. Suddenly something occurred to me.

"Lisie," I said using Alice's old nickname. "What day is it?"

"Um... June 23."

It was June 23. I had ran away on March 9. I thought about it and realized, my heart speeding up, that I had missed two of my periods. My stomach dropped. This was why I wasn't hungry.

"Oh god, Alice, I'm pregnant."