Disclaimer: I don't own moulin rouge or Satine and I'm not writing this for profit. I just realize that one could say I own Alice, Mr Satine's father, Rik, Juliette and all those other characters but I don't. I mean I'm not telling this story anyway, Satine is. Don't sue me. Sue Satine. I have no money, she has all those necklaces. That's not to say I dislike money, so if you have some you want to send me that's ok too.

As yet another singer droned, in a somewhat flat soprano Nini allowed her mind to wander. She had no doubt that she would be the new sparkling diamond but it was just a formality that they had auditions, so they would know she actually deserved it. There was a window near her chair and she noticed that the snow had turned grey from the dirty Paris air. It had snowed on Christmas. Simone had loved to catch snowflakes on her tongue. Nini saw the more practical view of snow, it was more trouble then its worth.

Now it was new years eve. Nini reflected that she had never had many morals so she never felt a need to make new years resolutions. Simone always had though, neatly written them on pink stationary and been careful to go through with all of them. Nini smiled at the memory. Innocent, little Simone. She blinked her eyes and bit her lips and twisted her hands around each other. She didn't cry.

She wasn't the kind of girl who cried. She wasn't the kind of girl who wrote with pink stationary and she went where she pleased without a man to escort her. She was a tough girl, at least on the outside. She had always believed that whatever didn't kill you only made you stronger and she still believed that now. She also believed that she was already dead. She was so consumed inside that she had almost forgotten happiness. Almost but not entirely. No one can go on with nothing, not even Nini, although she hadn't had much choice about it lately.

The first thing that had made her life worth living was The Dream. Sometimes when the nights were warm and the air was still she would go to sleep with a glass of water by her bed. She always slept with a quilt, even in the summer, just like a little girl. On these lilac scented nights she would dream of a woman she didn't remember in waking life. She had dark hair and soft eyes and she held Nini close. Nini knew that was her mother although she had become an orphan very early in life and had never spoken to her.

Another thing that had kept her going was the theater. It was the one place where she could forget everything. On stage, with the bright lights and the costumes she could hide herself behind the script. She no longer had to be Nini.

These two things were what kept her going. What allowed a hint of a smile to play at her lips from time to time.

The real joy of her life had come from Simone. The fiery young woman had filled her with all sorts of emotions she couldn't understand and so she buried deeper within herself.

Simone had taken Nini in, almost as a sister although Simone had never had to sell her body in order to have a meal. Nini was Zilder's prized diamond, but Simone was his little girl. He loved her with a pure love that only a father could feel and therefor no one had ever felt about Nini.

Yes, one of the feelings Simone had sparked was jealousy. She was jealous of Simone's innocence and the innocent emotions she sparked in people around her but more than envy she had loved her. Nini knew nothing about loving someone but she couldn't deny her feelings about Simone.

It wasn't a pure sort of love, it was twisted with less pleasant emotions, hatred for the men who wooed her so easily, longing for her beauty and desire for Simone to feel the same about her. She ached so profoundly for soft, gentle hands to hold her when she was sad and for someone too love her in a way she didn't understand, that she no longer noticed it.

She didn't remember a time there wasn't a hole in her. It was winter so the dream had stopped. She had been fired from the theater, when she thought about that the odd memory of the blue-eyed stranger who must have been a ghost. It couldn't have been Simone, for she had green eyes. Besides that Simone was dead. Nini bit her lips until they bled but it didn't stop the sucking feeling in her stomach. She thought she might be sick.

Nini noticed that the atmosphere of the room had changed. The chattering and yawning that moments before had filled the room had suddenly ceased. Several people gasped audibly. Nini looked up to see Her. She was standing before them in a faded blue dress, biting her lips, and twirling her hair. She looked nervous. In the front of the dance hall she saw Zidler, his knuckles were white. The girl smiled and shuffled her music, apparently unaware that she had sparked anything unusual in the audience.

"Well... you didn't wake up this morning, because you didn't go to bed, you were watching the whites of your eyes, turn red, the calendar, on your wall, is ticking the days off, the calendar on your wall is ticking the days off," she sung. She began softly but her voice was intoxicating and her face was so familiar yet so foreign. Nini was enthralled.

"Youve been reading some old letters, you smile and think how much you've changed, all the money in the world, couldn't bring back those days, you pull back the curtains, and the sun burns into your eyes, you watch a bird fly, across the clear blue sky" she continued. She seemed to be gaining confidence with each word she sung.

"This is the day, your life will surely change! This is the day, when things fall into place!

"You could've done anything, if you'd wanted, and all your friends and family think that you're lucky, but the side of you they'll never see, is when you're left alone with the memories, that hold your life together like glue

"This is the day, your life will surely change! This is the day, your life will surely change!"

She blushed and bowed and everyone clapped. Suddenly Nini felt as though the wind had been knocked out of her. What if this girl was going to be the new Diamond? Yet again Nini would be second in command. Her fears were confirmed when she saw Zidler hugging her.

"Antonia! Come and meet Satine!" Nini rolled her pale eyes, jealousy burning like acid in her throat.