Sirius' Cure For Exam Tension 2
Results Day.
A/N: I realise in chapter one I said that Sirius' parents knew he was going out with Remus. Lies, I tell you. That was before reading OotP, and I now don't think they'd stand for that sort of thing. As far as this chapter is concerned, they haven't a clue. Any complaints should be taken to my muse, Sam Sweeny, who will laugh at them for a while then go and have lunch.
***
Remus had been staying with his parents for the past week, but now it was time to pack his bags and get ready to go back to London. His family's home in Sussex was large and airy, but the oppressive heat of a southern summer was making him tense and snappy. He enjoyed spending time with his family, but his siblings were beginning to annoy him, and he was longing for the freedom of the London flat he shared with Sirius Black. Not only that, but his exam results were due back any day now, and his entire future rested on them. Last month's full moon had been one of his worst for years, mostly because Sirius hadn't been there to share it with him for the first time since their schooldays.
He shoved the last of his belongings into his case, then propped it in the corner. After glancing around to make sure he'd left nothing out, he went downstairs to say goodbye to his family.
"RemmiRemmieRemmie!" A small, blond, bullet-shaped child shot through a nearby doorway and hit Remus at waist-level. As the young werewolf fought to detach his adoring sister from him, his parents entered the room.
"All ready, Remus?"
"Yes, dad." Remus lifted his sister up and she hugged his neck affectionately. His mother smiled tenderly at them.
"We'll finally get to meet this girlfriend of yours, then!" she said. His father nodded eagerly. They'd both tried to talk to him about the mysterious person he was sharing a flat with, but he had said they'd have to wait until today. At the mention of the word 'girlfriend', Remus' stomach clenched. He wished he'd told his parents about Sirius sooner, but it was too late for wishing now. Maybe the worst thing was, he didn't have a clue how his parents would react. His mother was a whimsical, docile, yet surprisingly sensible non-magical woman. The Lupins tended towards the traditional, and his mother seemed much happier looking after her children than she ever had at work. His father worked at Gringott's Bank, and these days was more relaxed and jovial than he had been for years. His main worry had been Remus, and whether the young werewolf would get a good education, but that worry was over now. Remus' two younger sisters were both witches after their father's side of the family, and the eldest of them was at Hogwarts. The family was simple and happy. Remus began to sweat at the thought of ruining that with his revelation.
Sirius was due to pick him up at ten o'clock, but it was nearer half-past when they heard the crunch of tyres on the gravel drive. Remus had carried his bags downstairs, and stood, fidgeting, in the doorway. As his parents watches, a slim, raven-haired beauty leaped out of the car and threw herself at Remus. Startled, Remus pulled her away. The words "who are you?" died on his lips as a faint whiff of pineapple reached his nostrils and he recognised the brilliant green eyes peering out at him from under a firmly hair-sprayed fringe. The strange young woman kissed Remus on the cheek, at the same time whispering into his ear, "Polly juice potion, just play along, love. I'll explain later."
Remus found he had utterly lost his voice, so Sirius introduced himself to the family. He clasped Mrs Lupin's hand and practically squealed "oooh, I've heard so much about you all! Remus speaks so fondly of you I thought 'they must be adorable' and look at you! You are!" An astonished Mr Lupin found himself kissing the young 'lady's hand, and the youngest of Remus' sisters was staring at Sirius in awe. Then Katy, the older sister, appeared through a doorway. Sirius' skirts whirled around him as he embraced her.
Remus cleared his throat hurriedly. "Er. . .Mum, dad, I think we'd better be going now. . . Come on, Siri. . . Eh . . ."
"No, *you're* the silly!" chirruped Sirius, throwing himself once more at Remus, who was just relived his beloved was such a quick thinker.
Remus' father had caught sight of Sirius' Bentley parked outside the house. His eyes widened and he started towards it. Remus placed himself swiftly between the car and Mr Lupin. "Er, we really have to be on our way, dad. . . see you next month." He hugged his parents and dived into the passenger seat of the Bentley. Sirius was having none of that, however. He touched his throat lightly. "Remus, dear, I'm parched. Aren't you going to offer me a cup of tea?"
"No! Get in the car, will you!"
It took some time to bundle Sirius into the car, and half-way down the road they had to stop because the driver was doubling over in fits of laughter.
"Okay, Sirius, explain yourself!"
"Well," gasped Sirius when he'd recovered enough to speak, "I wasn't so sure your parents should know about us just yet. That's all."
"But we talked about this!" said Remus angrily. "I told you I wanted them to know finally. We agreed this was right!"
"Listen to me for a minute, will you?" Sirius' huge grin had vanished. He looked Remus in the eye. "My dad's Deputy Minister for Magic. Your dad's a Gringotts' bigwig. Well there's some meeting at the bank this weekend and both of our parents will be there! What if mine find out? That'd be the end of me!"
Remus sighed and nodded. "Maybe it's for the best then."
The polyjuice potion was starting to wear off, and Remus couldn't help feeling faintly disturbed as the woman next to him slowly became a man again.
"Who. . .?" He began.
"Stole a hair from my cousin," said Sirius. Then he giggled. "I've never been female before."
". . ." said Remus, and, "just drive the car, will you?"
"Right."
The drive back to London should have been a simple one. It wasn't. For an idea of how chaotic it actually was, see the previous description of his shopping trip. Sirius was incapable of doing anything without making a show of it. He took more wrong turns than Remus could keep track of, and ended up in several dead-end roads. There was a near-collision with a milk float and a man walking a very small dog. But the best of all were the roundabouts. Sirius went round them as fast as he could and came shooting off down any road he liked, quite often having to turn round, go back, and go round the roundabout again. Remus spent most of the journey with his head between his knees in the crash landing position. Finally, they stopped in a service station for a rest. Sirius was attracting rather a lot of attention - the potion had nearly all worn off, but there was still something feminine about him and men kept trying to catch his eye when Remus wasn't looking.
"I can't wait until I get my Apparation licence," muttered Remus, as he sipped on service station tea and poked at a dry service station digestive biscuit with a plastic service station spoon.
"I like driving," said Sirius happily.
"You like driving me up the wall, you mean?"
Sirius pulled a pathetic face. "Aww, Remmie. . ." But he was distracted when a woman waved coyly at him, noticed his still feminine figure, and ran, mortified, to the toilets. He grinned. "This is great, everyone loves me," he said happily.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Well, I'd like the old Sirius back, thank you."
Sirius glanced at the watch. "I've got a few minutes. And I haven't tried walking into the men's toilets yet."
"Ohdeargod," muttered Remus, watching Sirius slink towards the mens'. His walk would have made Casanova go weak at the knees, but it just made Remus slightly seasick. While he waited for Sirius to return, he grinned nervously at all those who's attention Sirius had attracted and pretended he had never met the other man in his life.
***
Now, it wasn't that Remus was ashamed of Sirius. Quite the opposite, in fact, but the pair were so incompatible that they were compatible. Remus still couldn't figure out how this worked, and most of the time he was content to let it be but sometimes Sirius did the most absurd things that Remus got to wondering. Like today for example. Sirius could simply have sent Remus an owl telling him he'd have to make his own way home, so he could avoid meeting the werewolf's parents. Instead, he'd had a temporary change of gender. That was Sirius all over. He couldn't do something the simple way if there was an alternative, difficult way. And, somehow, he'd manage to make that difficult way look just as easy while iat the same timei causing as much chaos and destruction was humanly possible. He wasn't a wizard, he was a walking enigma made up of paradoxes. And he liked to eat a lot of tinned pineapple.
Back in London, Remus was uneasy. Sirius, now totally male again, was sitting in his armchair with his legs crossed, singing the operatic bits of "Bohemian Rhapsody" at the top of his voice. Remus threw a coaster at him to attract his attention, and in response, Sirius pounced on him and pinned him to the couch.
"Ow," growled Remus.
"You were looking tense."
"So you jumped on me?"
"Yup. So what's bothering you?"
"What do you think, Sirius? Tomorrow is the seventeeth."
". . . And your unlucky number is seventeen?"
"No! It's results day."
Sirius' face went blank for a moment, then, "Oh! For all those exams we did!"
"Yes Sirius. For all those exams we did. Which will change the course of our lives forever."
"Oh, well. I know what I'm going to do with my life."
"And that is. . .?"
"I'm going to have a pineapple farm!"
Remus stared into his partner's eyes for a long time. Sirius' long, black hair brushed Remus' cheeks, their faces just inches from each other's. This was how he liked Sirius best: when he was close, when his full attention was on him, Remus, and when he wasn't saying anything at all. He reached up and tucked stray strands of black hair behind Sirius' ears. "You don't farm pineapples, love."
"I'll be an intrippener!" said Sirius triumphantly. Remus' eyes narrowed.
"Entrepreneur?"
"That's exactly what I said," said Sirius, poking Remus on his pointy nose, then stealing his glasses and running out of the room with them.
Remus had explained to a University friend once: "Sirius isn't stupid, honestly. He used to get the best marks in our year at Hogwarts. It's just that he directs his vast intellect along unconventional bearings." The friend didn't buy it, and remained convinced that Sirius had gotten into University by some fluke in the laws of nature.
But Remus was right, more or less. Sirius wasn't stupid. And when it came to knowing when he'd gone to far, his judgement was flawless. For example, he knew when Remus chased him into the bathroom, leaped at him and pinned him to the bed, growling deep in his throat, he guessed he'd pushed his boyfriend beyond reason. He put on his best puppy-dog face and whimpered. Remus grunted, angry at himself for not being able to stay angry at Sirius, and shoved him off the bed. He pushed his glasses firmly up his nose again. From floor-level, Sirius apologised until Remus hit him with a pillow.
"Ow. No need for all this violence, Rem. You're too tense, you are."
"I'm not. I'm just a little bit on edge. About tomorrow." Remus fidgeted nervously.
"Well don't be." Sirius clambered up to sit next to Remus. "There's nothing you can do about it now," he said kindly, and Remus relaxed slightly. "You've done your best, you can't change it now. If you've failed, you've failed!"
"Sirius!" Remus sat bolt upright. "You don't really think I've failed, do you?"
"Nah, course not." Sirius leaped off the bed and dashed towards the door. "Come on, Remmie, I've got a great idea!"
Hesitantly, Remus followed Sirius out of the flat and along the road and round the corner and stopped outside their local. He sighed.
"No, Sirius, this is what's called a *bad* idea," he muttered. "I don't drink, I never have."
Sirius shook his head. "It's a great idea. Come on in." He shoved the door open and led the way inside the pub. As soon as Remus stepped over the threshold, a cheer rose up from the crowds within. Remus blinked, then rubbed his eyes. The place had been transformed since he'd last seen it. In front of him was a large buffet table, and around him the air was filled with the strains of the latest wizard rock groups. There were streamers all over the place and the atmosphere glittered, rather than hang thickly filled with smoke and alcohol fumes as was usual. But the most amazing thing was all the people. Everyone Remus had ever counted as a friend was there. People he hadn't seen for years, people he saw every day, people he seldom spoke to but sent Christmas cards to, people he'd shared a dormitory with at Hogwarts, even people who had taught him there. And all were grinning at him and cheering for him and giving him the thumbs up. And above them all was a large banner declaring, in Sirius' handwriting, "CONGRATULATIONS/COMISSERATIONS, REMUS!" He was so astonished by the whole thing, he didn't even notice 'commiserations' was spelled wrong.
"Sirius!" he gasped, as seven people all tried to buy him a drink at once. "What. . . I mean how. . ." then his voice failed him.
"It's a party for you," said Sirius happily. "'Cause I knew you'd be all wound up and stuff about these exam results. I wanted to show you what really matters in life."
Remus grinned stupidly at him. "How long have you been planning this?"
"Dunno. What year is it?"
"1984. . ."
"Since Tuesday, then."
James Potter shoved his way through the crowd, and drew Remus and Sirius into a huge bear hug. "You really worried, Remus?" he asked. Remus nodded. "Well, don't be. We don't care how well you do, do we, Sirius? A few stupid qualifications won't make you any more our friend. And failing won't make you any less." Sirius nodded happily and Remus went pink around the ears and the tip of his nose.
"C'mon," said James happily. "Let's see if we can find Lily and Peter. And then, I've got some great ideas for some minor pranks. . ."
Remus grinned as his two best friends dragged him away, laughing and chatting as if they were still a group of mischievous schoolboys.
***
The next morning, Remus didn't wake up until eleven, and found himself alone in bed. This struck him as strange because the situation was usually reversed. Remus was always up by nine, and Sirius was yet to be convinced that nine *had* an am. He rolled out of bed and groped on the bedside table for his glasses. Once he had wedged them onto the bridge of his nose once more, he clambered back into bed and shut his eyes again. He felt relaxed. He didn't want to get up. A few minutes later, the bedroom door opened and Sirius came in with a cup of tea.
"G'morning, love!" he said brightly, setting the mug down on Remus bedside table. Remus opened an eye.
"Morning. No hangover?"
"I don't get 'em."
"I bet anything James will."
Sirius grinned and flopped onto the bed, snuggling closer to Remus. A contented smile spread across Remus' lips, and he turned to embrace Sirius. It was some time later when Sirius whispered, "congratulations, by the way."
"Huh?"
"Oh passing all your exams." Sirius handed him an already-opened envelope. Remus pulled out the letter inside and read it through twice. Then he let out a relieved sigh and fell back on the bed. "You'd forgotten, hadn't you?" said Sirius.
"Very nearly," Remus admitted. "Thank you, Sirius."
"Eh? What for?"
"For showing me I don't have to be a genius to be happy. All I really need, on pain of sounding cheesy, are my friends."
"Is that all?" grinned Sirius, kissing Remus teasingly on the nose.
"Well, maybe not *all*. . . But pretty damn close."
Remus reached out to pick up his teacup. He raised it to his lips, then paused. "You made this, right, Sirius?"
"Yep!" said Sirius proudly. "All by meself."
"So. . .How much pineapple is in it, exactly?"
"Not very much. . ."
"Never mind." Remus raised the mug to his lips again.
"Oh, Remmie. . . There's something else I should probably tell you."
Remus froze. "About the tea?"
"No. Not the tea."
"Good." Remus sipped while he listened.
"You know how you forbid me from ever summoning Freddie Mercury again. . .?"
"Oh dear. He's not here, is he?"
"Not exactly. . ."
"Freddie Mercury's not exactly here? Well where is he then?"
"I dunno, do I? It's not him. . ."
Remus groaned. "Sirius. . . Who's in our house?"
"Jimi Hendrix."
Remus spat tea across the bedroom. "Sirius! How did you do that? He's DEAD!"
"He just sort of showed up looking confused. . ."
". . . He's not touched the bourbons has he?"
"Nope. But the custard creams are in serious danger."
Remus leaped out of bed and sprinted into the other room. Sirius grinned nervously and pulled a tin of pineapple out from under his pillow. As a rather strange row erupted in the next room, Sirius lay back, content that life with Remus was back to normal at last.
*** A/N: No. I do not know how the university system works. Get off my case.
Please review. You'll help me to remember what I'm living for.
P.S. I know it wasn't as funny as the last chapter. I only had a couple of days to finish this one. Might add one more, maybe. **Jives away**
Results Day.
A/N: I realise in chapter one I said that Sirius' parents knew he was going out with Remus. Lies, I tell you. That was before reading OotP, and I now don't think they'd stand for that sort of thing. As far as this chapter is concerned, they haven't a clue. Any complaints should be taken to my muse, Sam Sweeny, who will laugh at them for a while then go and have lunch.
***
Remus had been staying with his parents for the past week, but now it was time to pack his bags and get ready to go back to London. His family's home in Sussex was large and airy, but the oppressive heat of a southern summer was making him tense and snappy. He enjoyed spending time with his family, but his siblings were beginning to annoy him, and he was longing for the freedom of the London flat he shared with Sirius Black. Not only that, but his exam results were due back any day now, and his entire future rested on them. Last month's full moon had been one of his worst for years, mostly because Sirius hadn't been there to share it with him for the first time since their schooldays.
He shoved the last of his belongings into his case, then propped it in the corner. After glancing around to make sure he'd left nothing out, he went downstairs to say goodbye to his family.
"RemmiRemmieRemmie!" A small, blond, bullet-shaped child shot through a nearby doorway and hit Remus at waist-level. As the young werewolf fought to detach his adoring sister from him, his parents entered the room.
"All ready, Remus?"
"Yes, dad." Remus lifted his sister up and she hugged his neck affectionately. His mother smiled tenderly at them.
"We'll finally get to meet this girlfriend of yours, then!" she said. His father nodded eagerly. They'd both tried to talk to him about the mysterious person he was sharing a flat with, but he had said they'd have to wait until today. At the mention of the word 'girlfriend', Remus' stomach clenched. He wished he'd told his parents about Sirius sooner, but it was too late for wishing now. Maybe the worst thing was, he didn't have a clue how his parents would react. His mother was a whimsical, docile, yet surprisingly sensible non-magical woman. The Lupins tended towards the traditional, and his mother seemed much happier looking after her children than she ever had at work. His father worked at Gringott's Bank, and these days was more relaxed and jovial than he had been for years. His main worry had been Remus, and whether the young werewolf would get a good education, but that worry was over now. Remus' two younger sisters were both witches after their father's side of the family, and the eldest of them was at Hogwarts. The family was simple and happy. Remus began to sweat at the thought of ruining that with his revelation.
Sirius was due to pick him up at ten o'clock, but it was nearer half-past when they heard the crunch of tyres on the gravel drive. Remus had carried his bags downstairs, and stood, fidgeting, in the doorway. As his parents watches, a slim, raven-haired beauty leaped out of the car and threw herself at Remus. Startled, Remus pulled her away. The words "who are you?" died on his lips as a faint whiff of pineapple reached his nostrils and he recognised the brilliant green eyes peering out at him from under a firmly hair-sprayed fringe. The strange young woman kissed Remus on the cheek, at the same time whispering into his ear, "Polly juice potion, just play along, love. I'll explain later."
Remus found he had utterly lost his voice, so Sirius introduced himself to the family. He clasped Mrs Lupin's hand and practically squealed "oooh, I've heard so much about you all! Remus speaks so fondly of you I thought 'they must be adorable' and look at you! You are!" An astonished Mr Lupin found himself kissing the young 'lady's hand, and the youngest of Remus' sisters was staring at Sirius in awe. Then Katy, the older sister, appeared through a doorway. Sirius' skirts whirled around him as he embraced her.
Remus cleared his throat hurriedly. "Er. . .Mum, dad, I think we'd better be going now. . . Come on, Siri. . . Eh . . ."
"No, *you're* the silly!" chirruped Sirius, throwing himself once more at Remus, who was just relived his beloved was such a quick thinker.
Remus' father had caught sight of Sirius' Bentley parked outside the house. His eyes widened and he started towards it. Remus placed himself swiftly between the car and Mr Lupin. "Er, we really have to be on our way, dad. . . see you next month." He hugged his parents and dived into the passenger seat of the Bentley. Sirius was having none of that, however. He touched his throat lightly. "Remus, dear, I'm parched. Aren't you going to offer me a cup of tea?"
"No! Get in the car, will you!"
It took some time to bundle Sirius into the car, and half-way down the road they had to stop because the driver was doubling over in fits of laughter.
"Okay, Sirius, explain yourself!"
"Well," gasped Sirius when he'd recovered enough to speak, "I wasn't so sure your parents should know about us just yet. That's all."
"But we talked about this!" said Remus angrily. "I told you I wanted them to know finally. We agreed this was right!"
"Listen to me for a minute, will you?" Sirius' huge grin had vanished. He looked Remus in the eye. "My dad's Deputy Minister for Magic. Your dad's a Gringotts' bigwig. Well there's some meeting at the bank this weekend and both of our parents will be there! What if mine find out? That'd be the end of me!"
Remus sighed and nodded. "Maybe it's for the best then."
The polyjuice potion was starting to wear off, and Remus couldn't help feeling faintly disturbed as the woman next to him slowly became a man again.
"Who. . .?" He began.
"Stole a hair from my cousin," said Sirius. Then he giggled. "I've never been female before."
". . ." said Remus, and, "just drive the car, will you?"
"Right."
The drive back to London should have been a simple one. It wasn't. For an idea of how chaotic it actually was, see the previous description of his shopping trip. Sirius was incapable of doing anything without making a show of it. He took more wrong turns than Remus could keep track of, and ended up in several dead-end roads. There was a near-collision with a milk float and a man walking a very small dog. But the best of all were the roundabouts. Sirius went round them as fast as he could and came shooting off down any road he liked, quite often having to turn round, go back, and go round the roundabout again. Remus spent most of the journey with his head between his knees in the crash landing position. Finally, they stopped in a service station for a rest. Sirius was attracting rather a lot of attention - the potion had nearly all worn off, but there was still something feminine about him and men kept trying to catch his eye when Remus wasn't looking.
"I can't wait until I get my Apparation licence," muttered Remus, as he sipped on service station tea and poked at a dry service station digestive biscuit with a plastic service station spoon.
"I like driving," said Sirius happily.
"You like driving me up the wall, you mean?"
Sirius pulled a pathetic face. "Aww, Remmie. . ." But he was distracted when a woman waved coyly at him, noticed his still feminine figure, and ran, mortified, to the toilets. He grinned. "This is great, everyone loves me," he said happily.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Well, I'd like the old Sirius back, thank you."
Sirius glanced at the watch. "I've got a few minutes. And I haven't tried walking into the men's toilets yet."
"Ohdeargod," muttered Remus, watching Sirius slink towards the mens'. His walk would have made Casanova go weak at the knees, but it just made Remus slightly seasick. While he waited for Sirius to return, he grinned nervously at all those who's attention Sirius had attracted and pretended he had never met the other man in his life.
***
Now, it wasn't that Remus was ashamed of Sirius. Quite the opposite, in fact, but the pair were so incompatible that they were compatible. Remus still couldn't figure out how this worked, and most of the time he was content to let it be but sometimes Sirius did the most absurd things that Remus got to wondering. Like today for example. Sirius could simply have sent Remus an owl telling him he'd have to make his own way home, so he could avoid meeting the werewolf's parents. Instead, he'd had a temporary change of gender. That was Sirius all over. He couldn't do something the simple way if there was an alternative, difficult way. And, somehow, he'd manage to make that difficult way look just as easy while iat the same timei causing as much chaos and destruction was humanly possible. He wasn't a wizard, he was a walking enigma made up of paradoxes. And he liked to eat a lot of tinned pineapple.
Back in London, Remus was uneasy. Sirius, now totally male again, was sitting in his armchair with his legs crossed, singing the operatic bits of "Bohemian Rhapsody" at the top of his voice. Remus threw a coaster at him to attract his attention, and in response, Sirius pounced on him and pinned him to the couch.
"Ow," growled Remus.
"You were looking tense."
"So you jumped on me?"
"Yup. So what's bothering you?"
"What do you think, Sirius? Tomorrow is the seventeeth."
". . . And your unlucky number is seventeen?"
"No! It's results day."
Sirius' face went blank for a moment, then, "Oh! For all those exams we did!"
"Yes Sirius. For all those exams we did. Which will change the course of our lives forever."
"Oh, well. I know what I'm going to do with my life."
"And that is. . .?"
"I'm going to have a pineapple farm!"
Remus stared into his partner's eyes for a long time. Sirius' long, black hair brushed Remus' cheeks, their faces just inches from each other's. This was how he liked Sirius best: when he was close, when his full attention was on him, Remus, and when he wasn't saying anything at all. He reached up and tucked stray strands of black hair behind Sirius' ears. "You don't farm pineapples, love."
"I'll be an intrippener!" said Sirius triumphantly. Remus' eyes narrowed.
"Entrepreneur?"
"That's exactly what I said," said Sirius, poking Remus on his pointy nose, then stealing his glasses and running out of the room with them.
Remus had explained to a University friend once: "Sirius isn't stupid, honestly. He used to get the best marks in our year at Hogwarts. It's just that he directs his vast intellect along unconventional bearings." The friend didn't buy it, and remained convinced that Sirius had gotten into University by some fluke in the laws of nature.
But Remus was right, more or less. Sirius wasn't stupid. And when it came to knowing when he'd gone to far, his judgement was flawless. For example, he knew when Remus chased him into the bathroom, leaped at him and pinned him to the bed, growling deep in his throat, he guessed he'd pushed his boyfriend beyond reason. He put on his best puppy-dog face and whimpered. Remus grunted, angry at himself for not being able to stay angry at Sirius, and shoved him off the bed. He pushed his glasses firmly up his nose again. From floor-level, Sirius apologised until Remus hit him with a pillow.
"Ow. No need for all this violence, Rem. You're too tense, you are."
"I'm not. I'm just a little bit on edge. About tomorrow." Remus fidgeted nervously.
"Well don't be." Sirius clambered up to sit next to Remus. "There's nothing you can do about it now," he said kindly, and Remus relaxed slightly. "You've done your best, you can't change it now. If you've failed, you've failed!"
"Sirius!" Remus sat bolt upright. "You don't really think I've failed, do you?"
"Nah, course not." Sirius leaped off the bed and dashed towards the door. "Come on, Remmie, I've got a great idea!"
Hesitantly, Remus followed Sirius out of the flat and along the road and round the corner and stopped outside their local. He sighed.
"No, Sirius, this is what's called a *bad* idea," he muttered. "I don't drink, I never have."
Sirius shook his head. "It's a great idea. Come on in." He shoved the door open and led the way inside the pub. As soon as Remus stepped over the threshold, a cheer rose up from the crowds within. Remus blinked, then rubbed his eyes. The place had been transformed since he'd last seen it. In front of him was a large buffet table, and around him the air was filled with the strains of the latest wizard rock groups. There were streamers all over the place and the atmosphere glittered, rather than hang thickly filled with smoke and alcohol fumes as was usual. But the most amazing thing was all the people. Everyone Remus had ever counted as a friend was there. People he hadn't seen for years, people he saw every day, people he seldom spoke to but sent Christmas cards to, people he'd shared a dormitory with at Hogwarts, even people who had taught him there. And all were grinning at him and cheering for him and giving him the thumbs up. And above them all was a large banner declaring, in Sirius' handwriting, "CONGRATULATIONS/COMISSERATIONS, REMUS!" He was so astonished by the whole thing, he didn't even notice 'commiserations' was spelled wrong.
"Sirius!" he gasped, as seven people all tried to buy him a drink at once. "What. . . I mean how. . ." then his voice failed him.
"It's a party for you," said Sirius happily. "'Cause I knew you'd be all wound up and stuff about these exam results. I wanted to show you what really matters in life."
Remus grinned stupidly at him. "How long have you been planning this?"
"Dunno. What year is it?"
"1984. . ."
"Since Tuesday, then."
James Potter shoved his way through the crowd, and drew Remus and Sirius into a huge bear hug. "You really worried, Remus?" he asked. Remus nodded. "Well, don't be. We don't care how well you do, do we, Sirius? A few stupid qualifications won't make you any more our friend. And failing won't make you any less." Sirius nodded happily and Remus went pink around the ears and the tip of his nose.
"C'mon," said James happily. "Let's see if we can find Lily and Peter. And then, I've got some great ideas for some minor pranks. . ."
Remus grinned as his two best friends dragged him away, laughing and chatting as if they were still a group of mischievous schoolboys.
***
The next morning, Remus didn't wake up until eleven, and found himself alone in bed. This struck him as strange because the situation was usually reversed. Remus was always up by nine, and Sirius was yet to be convinced that nine *had* an am. He rolled out of bed and groped on the bedside table for his glasses. Once he had wedged them onto the bridge of his nose once more, he clambered back into bed and shut his eyes again. He felt relaxed. He didn't want to get up. A few minutes later, the bedroom door opened and Sirius came in with a cup of tea.
"G'morning, love!" he said brightly, setting the mug down on Remus bedside table. Remus opened an eye.
"Morning. No hangover?"
"I don't get 'em."
"I bet anything James will."
Sirius grinned and flopped onto the bed, snuggling closer to Remus. A contented smile spread across Remus' lips, and he turned to embrace Sirius. It was some time later when Sirius whispered, "congratulations, by the way."
"Huh?"
"Oh passing all your exams." Sirius handed him an already-opened envelope. Remus pulled out the letter inside and read it through twice. Then he let out a relieved sigh and fell back on the bed. "You'd forgotten, hadn't you?" said Sirius.
"Very nearly," Remus admitted. "Thank you, Sirius."
"Eh? What for?"
"For showing me I don't have to be a genius to be happy. All I really need, on pain of sounding cheesy, are my friends."
"Is that all?" grinned Sirius, kissing Remus teasingly on the nose.
"Well, maybe not *all*. . . But pretty damn close."
Remus reached out to pick up his teacup. He raised it to his lips, then paused. "You made this, right, Sirius?"
"Yep!" said Sirius proudly. "All by meself."
"So. . .How much pineapple is in it, exactly?"
"Not very much. . ."
"Never mind." Remus raised the mug to his lips again.
"Oh, Remmie. . . There's something else I should probably tell you."
Remus froze. "About the tea?"
"No. Not the tea."
"Good." Remus sipped while he listened.
"You know how you forbid me from ever summoning Freddie Mercury again. . .?"
"Oh dear. He's not here, is he?"
"Not exactly. . ."
"Freddie Mercury's not exactly here? Well where is he then?"
"I dunno, do I? It's not him. . ."
Remus groaned. "Sirius. . . Who's in our house?"
"Jimi Hendrix."
Remus spat tea across the bedroom. "Sirius! How did you do that? He's DEAD!"
"He just sort of showed up looking confused. . ."
". . . He's not touched the bourbons has he?"
"Nope. But the custard creams are in serious danger."
Remus leaped out of bed and sprinted into the other room. Sirius grinned nervously and pulled a tin of pineapple out from under his pillow. As a rather strange row erupted in the next room, Sirius lay back, content that life with Remus was back to normal at last.
*** A/N: No. I do not know how the university system works. Get off my case.
Please review. You'll help me to remember what I'm living for.
P.S. I know it wasn't as funny as the last chapter. I only had a couple of days to finish this one. Might add one more, maybe. **Jives away**