Disclaimer- I don't own anything. This song is by the Flying Lizards. It is not by Josie in the Pussycats though it is in the movie.

I didn't get home until the early dawn, and then I stumbled into the flat, throwing my purse and hat messily onto a chair. I clambered into the bathroom, I felt dirty inside and out. As the water filled the chipped tub memories began to fill my head again. I buried my face in my hands a cried, heavy with pain and confusion.

I guess I must have made a lot of noise because I heard a noise and Alice was standing there, in her dressing gown, supporting herself on the frame of the door. Her hair was ruffled from sleep and she was blinking as the thin line of sun coming over the horizon hit her eyes. I could tell she was going to ask questions and I didn't think I could answer them. But she didn't. She didn't say anything at all, she came to stand behind me, her movements were stiff like an old lady but her hands were gentle as she helped me to undress.

For a second I pulled away when she touched me, remembering the last person who had touched me. I told myself I was being silly, she's my own sister! I relaxed and found that my legs weren't going to hold for long. But Alice was there, lowering me into the steaming bath. As I lay there soaking I felt tears moving down my face to mix with the bath water. I was too tired to even wash my hair but Alice was still there, softly rubbing. She smelled faintly of flowers.

She helped my into my nightdress and led me to bed, tucking me in and kissing me. All of this was done in silence, somehow Alice knew I needed it. Once in bed I had only time to think "This is what it's like to have a mother" before sleep took me.

I awoke late in the afternoon with a headache and a vaguely nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. The memory of the night before came flooding back to me.

The club was packed, can-can dancers twirling, men clapping, instruments banging but suddenly all was silent and every pair of eyes was on me. I appeared in a burst of gold and I began a fast song, my heart beating in my throat.

"The best things in life are free!" I sung, grinning mischievously. "But you can tell me 'bout the birds and bees."

I reached for the nearest man in the crowd and drew him in and sung sweetly

"Now gimme money" he swooned and relaxed and I yelled "THAT'S WHAT I WANT. That's what I want. THAT'S WHAT I WANT!"

He jumped. I spun around, dancing to the heavy drum beats. "That's what I want, ye-ye-yeh! That's what I want!"

I made a fake thoughtful look "Money don't get everything it's true." I sung and then added with a simple smile, "what it don't get I can't use."

I grabbed another man and pulled him into a tight embrace, groping him all over

"Your lovin' give me a thrill" I sung seductively.

"But your lovin' don't pay my bill!" I sung as I pushed him roughly aside. "Now gimme money! THAT'S WHAT I WANT. That's what I want! THAT'S WHAT I WANT! That's what I want!"

"Ye-ye-yeh! That's what I want!" sung the diamond dogs in the background.

I lumbered stiffly into the main room of our flat to find Alice asleep on the couch. She heard me enter the room and opened her eyes, blinking and suddenly she sat up, trying to hide something from me. I caught only a glimpse of a handkerchief. My heart sunk briefly. "Lisie, what's that?" She smiled tiredly.

"Nothing sweety," She picked up my hand and stroked it gently. I was still worried but I pushed it aside. "How was your performance."

I smiled bitterly. I wanted to tell her about the old man who had smelt of fish and cigarettes and how much it had hurt but I couldn't bring myself to relive it. Instead I smiled and remembered the gold roses that covered my costume and the way my voice range out through the dance hall.

I told her about the show and the dress and all the while I kept that stupid grin plastered on my face. I knew my acting wasn't up to what it could be and I expected Alice to rip in apart instantly and I knew that I would be crushed. Instead she played along.

"That's wonderful! Oh Satine!" she said. She hugged me. "We must celebrate!"

She walked into the kitchen and I followed. I perched myself on one of the counters. The spring sunlight was streaming in through the open window, lighting up Alice's hair so it looked like spun gold.

She set about uncorking the last bottle of wine from the gift basket. She was having a lot of trouble, her too thin arms were struggling. Alice had lost a lot of weight lately. I wished she's let me take her to a doctor but she said she's already seen one. Suddenly her eyes met mine.

A lot of people say that brown eyes are plain a murky, without the dimensions of pale eyes but I noticed Alice's eyes were the exception. Sometimes at night they were a masked and smoky shade and on other days, such as now, when the morning sun hit them they glowed as sparkling amber. I knew she was really happy. She wasn't a fake like me.

We held each others thoughts a minute, I knew she was sensing everything I was feeling then, this strangling peaceful new Alice whom I had come home to, I was feeling her pain. It was so strong I was almost overpowered. Fear, uncertainty, confusion, lose, bitter love, loneliness, all of these emotions mashed together and tugging on her heart. As suddenly as they had begun, the emotions disappeared and I was left with a simple peaceful indifference.

I jumped, the wine bottle plummeted to the floor and broke into a million pieces, sloshing Alice's skirt with dark liquid. Alice followed it, her body falling in an arc. I was at her side in a instant, cutting my feet on the glass which littered the floor. I caught her and hauled her onto the sofa, had I not been so filled with fear I would have marveled at how little she weighed. He breathing was shallow and ragged and her lips were stained with blood. Beads of sweat had formed on her forehead.

"Alice, oh Lisie, sweety, don't do this to me."

Alice opened her eyes, they were peaceful and ready. But I wasn't.