Disclaimer: I don't own SK!!! 4KIDS SHOULD DIE!!!!
Author's Notes: Heh...just thought I'd torture myself for once instead of the SK gang. There's one good thing about being in a guy's body, and it's that the Little Red Fairy leaves you alone. All the rabid Hao fan girls, though...that's the bad part. Just kidding!
~***~
A Dream Come True?
Chapter Three
~***~
I woke up when something started poking my foot.
"Is he dead?" a voice asked.
"I dunno," Anna replied. "I did hit him kinda hard."
"That's real smart Anna," a voice so sarcastic it could only belong to Ren shot back. "Now what are we gonna do? Bury him in the back yard?!"
"Shut up, creep!"
"All of you be quiet," I groaned. "I'm not dead."
"Yay!" shouted Yoh. "You're alive!"
"That's a miracle," said Ren.
"Shut up," Yoh and I said at the same time.
Ren rolled his eyes. "Twins..."
I rubbed the back of my head. There were two bumps there, one a little larger than the other. "Thanks a lot, Anna. I think I've got a concussion."
"You deserved it," she replied coldly.
"Humorless Ice Queen," I mumbled.
Yoh started laughing.
"So what are YOU doing here, Hao?" Horo demanded.
"I'm not Hao," I said bluntly.
"Right," said Anna sarcastically. "And I'm the Tooth Fairy. Yoh is the Easter Bunny, and Horo is Santa Claus."
Ren was trying not to laugh. "Good one."
"Seriously!" I shouted. "Ask me something. Anything that Hao would never know in a billion years!"
Yoh thought for a while. "Well...are you from America?"
"Yes."
"Name, address and Social Security Number," Anna cut in. "If it all checks out we'll believe you."
I gave her my full name.
Horo burst out laughing. "You're a girl?!!"
I glared at him. "And unless you want to sing like a girl I suggest you shut up."
He let out an audible gulp.
I went on, giving Anna my address and SSN. Then Yoh opened his mouth. "Okay, trivia. Who plays the girl-turned-guy in 'The Hot Chick'?"
I rolled my eyes. "Very funny, Yoh. I forgot to laugh. It's Rob Schneider."
"Who played the two lead roles in 'Love Stinks'?"
"French Stewart and Bridgette Wilson."
"Who performs the song 'In The End'?"
"Linkin Park."
"Here's a tough one- -recite the Gettysburg Address."
I took a deep breath, Ace Ventura-style. "Fourscore and seven years ago our forefathers brought to this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty..."
Some time later...
"...That this government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the Earth."
I finally took another breath. If anybody else can recite the Gettysburg Address in a single breath, good for you. I nearly passed out.
Everyone was gawking at me like I had a flying saucer crawling out my nose. "I told you so," I snapped.
Horo shakily raised his hand. "Question. Can we just call you Hao to avoid confusion?"
"I guess."
"And also... How did this happen in the first place?"
Where else to start but the beginning? I told them about me falling off my truck and hitting my head, then waking up in Hao's body with a big slippery rock under my head until of a gravel driveway.
"I got it!" Yoh said excitedly. "You and Hao must've fallen and hit your heads at the same time. That's what caused the switch."
I blinked. "Switch? What switch?"
"Whoa." Horo shook his head. "I've heard stories about that kind of thing happening, but I thought they were just that. Stories!"
Ren jerked his thumb at me. "Obviously they're not stories."
"What switch?!" I demanded again.
"Are you calling me an idiot?" Horo said icily.
"I didn't say that!"
"I could tell by your voice!"
"Both of you stop it," Yoh said sharply.
"Stay out of this, Asakura!"
"Yeah. This doesn't have anything to do with you!"
"The hell it does! You're in my house!"
"SHUT UP!!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.
Everyone fell silent.
"Now what do you guys mean by a switch?!!"
Anna sighed. "Obviously Hao couldn't disappear into nowhere while you're inside his body. He can only be in one other place."
"You mean...since I'm here..." I gulped. "Then he's in MY body??!!"
"Exactly."
At first I was scared. Hao running around in my body? The guy was such a nutcase he might try to do something my grandmother would usually KILL me for. Then a funny thought occurred to me.
Okay, scratch that. It was HILARIOUS.
I started laughing. I couldn't help it. It got so bad I couldn't sit up straight so I leaned back on Yoh for support. It was so funny I was crying after a while.
"And what is so damn funny?!" Ren demanded.
It took me a while to answer. "Back there...when I fell off my truck..."
"Yeach, what about it?" asked Yoh. He was starting to laugh, too, probably because I looked so unHao-like with my head on his chest and laughing so hard.
"My period started that morning. It lasts almost a week!"
Author's Notes: Heh...just thought I'd torture myself for once instead of the SK gang. There's one good thing about being in a guy's body, and it's that the Little Red Fairy leaves you alone. All the rabid Hao fan girls, though...that's the bad part. Just kidding!
~***~
A Dream Come True?
Chapter Three
~***~
I woke up when something started poking my foot.
"Is he dead?" a voice asked.
"I dunno," Anna replied. "I did hit him kinda hard."
"That's real smart Anna," a voice so sarcastic it could only belong to Ren shot back. "Now what are we gonna do? Bury him in the back yard?!"
"Shut up, creep!"
"All of you be quiet," I groaned. "I'm not dead."
"Yay!" shouted Yoh. "You're alive!"
"That's a miracle," said Ren.
"Shut up," Yoh and I said at the same time.
Ren rolled his eyes. "Twins..."
I rubbed the back of my head. There were two bumps there, one a little larger than the other. "Thanks a lot, Anna. I think I've got a concussion."
"You deserved it," she replied coldly.
"Humorless Ice Queen," I mumbled.
Yoh started laughing.
"So what are YOU doing here, Hao?" Horo demanded.
"I'm not Hao," I said bluntly.
"Right," said Anna sarcastically. "And I'm the Tooth Fairy. Yoh is the Easter Bunny, and Horo is Santa Claus."
Ren was trying not to laugh. "Good one."
"Seriously!" I shouted. "Ask me something. Anything that Hao would never know in a billion years!"
Yoh thought for a while. "Well...are you from America?"
"Yes."
"Name, address and Social Security Number," Anna cut in. "If it all checks out we'll believe you."
I gave her my full name.
Horo burst out laughing. "You're a girl?!!"
I glared at him. "And unless you want to sing like a girl I suggest you shut up."
He let out an audible gulp.
I went on, giving Anna my address and SSN. Then Yoh opened his mouth. "Okay, trivia. Who plays the girl-turned-guy in 'The Hot Chick'?"
I rolled my eyes. "Very funny, Yoh. I forgot to laugh. It's Rob Schneider."
"Who played the two lead roles in 'Love Stinks'?"
"French Stewart and Bridgette Wilson."
"Who performs the song 'In The End'?"
"Linkin Park."
"Here's a tough one- -recite the Gettysburg Address."
I took a deep breath, Ace Ventura-style. "Fourscore and seven years ago our forefathers brought to this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty..."
Some time later...
"...That this government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the Earth."
I finally took another breath. If anybody else can recite the Gettysburg Address in a single breath, good for you. I nearly passed out.
Everyone was gawking at me like I had a flying saucer crawling out my nose. "I told you so," I snapped.
Horo shakily raised his hand. "Question. Can we just call you Hao to avoid confusion?"
"I guess."
"And also... How did this happen in the first place?"
Where else to start but the beginning? I told them about me falling off my truck and hitting my head, then waking up in Hao's body with a big slippery rock under my head until of a gravel driveway.
"I got it!" Yoh said excitedly. "You and Hao must've fallen and hit your heads at the same time. That's what caused the switch."
I blinked. "Switch? What switch?"
"Whoa." Horo shook his head. "I've heard stories about that kind of thing happening, but I thought they were just that. Stories!"
Ren jerked his thumb at me. "Obviously they're not stories."
"What switch?!" I demanded again.
"Are you calling me an idiot?" Horo said icily.
"I didn't say that!"
"I could tell by your voice!"
"Both of you stop it," Yoh said sharply.
"Stay out of this, Asakura!"
"Yeah. This doesn't have anything to do with you!"
"The hell it does! You're in my house!"
"SHUT UP!!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.
Everyone fell silent.
"Now what do you guys mean by a switch?!!"
Anna sighed. "Obviously Hao couldn't disappear into nowhere while you're inside his body. He can only be in one other place."
"You mean...since I'm here..." I gulped. "Then he's in MY body??!!"
"Exactly."
At first I was scared. Hao running around in my body? The guy was such a nutcase he might try to do something my grandmother would usually KILL me for. Then a funny thought occurred to me.
Okay, scratch that. It was HILARIOUS.
I started laughing. I couldn't help it. It got so bad I couldn't sit up straight so I leaned back on Yoh for support. It was so funny I was crying after a while.
"And what is so damn funny?!" Ren demanded.
It took me a while to answer. "Back there...when I fell off my truck..."
"Yeach, what about it?" asked Yoh. He was starting to laugh, too, probably because I looked so unHao-like with my head on his chest and laughing so hard.
"My period started that morning. It lasts almost a week!"