I'm sorry this took so long! I'm sorry! But inspiration is hard to come by when in the middle of a parody. I'm sorry! I'll try not to wait so long to write chapter 8.
Chapter 7- The Dinner
Pintel and Ragetti enter the room where Elizabeth is being kept.
Pintel says. "You'll be dining with the captain tonight, and he wants you to wear this." He holds out a silly-looking dress with frills and lace and pink satin bows.
"I don't want to."
"He said if you don't you'll be dining with the crew," Pintel says.
"So?" Elizabeth demands.
"And you'll be naked." Pintel's grin widened.
"So?"
"And we like to sing 'Showboat' at dinner."
Elizabeth grabs for the dress, thinking, *anything but Showboat!*
At the table piled high with food, Elizabeth looks down at the ridiculous dress. *At least he has better taste than my father.* She sighs. She begins to eat, taking the tiniest nibble of a bite from her fork.
"Oh, come on. I'm a pirate, you think I care about manners?"
Elizabeth glances from him to the food, and then starts to positively inhale the food. Barbossa looks at her very disgustedly.
"On second thought, go back to the way you were doing it before." Elizabeth ignores him at first. "Okay, that's it. Take the food away," he says. Elizabeth slows down, 60-0, and chews like a perfect lady.
"That's…better," says Barbossa. "Now, why do you think I asked you here?"
"So you can stare at my boobs?"
"No."
"So you can stare at my butt?"
"No."
"I don't know."
Barbossa holds up the skeletal pendant she was recently wearing. "You don't know what this is, do you?"
"What a silly question. Of course I don't know what that is."
"Take a guess."
"A skeleton."
"No. Well, yes, but I mean the significance of it."
"No clue."
"I thought as much."
"What are you trying to say?"
"What am I *not* trying to say?"
"What?"
"Exactly."
Elizabeth, too confused to speak, sits silently and allows Barbossa to continue. "This is the gold of the ancient chief, Walto Disnia. It was buried at an island that you can't find unless you already know where it is, or someone tells you how to get there, or you're really, really, really lucky. We were lucky, and find it we did. A warning of the curse was written, saying that anyone who removed but a single piece of the treasure would be…well, cursed. We ignored it, took the gold and frittered it away on women and drink. Then we realized, after a while, that our lust, our thirst, our hunger could never be sated. We were cursed. We still are, for that matter. We will remain that way until all the lost gold is retrieved, and the blood repaid. We have found every piece and returned it to the chest, all save…Miss Turner?"
Elizabeth is fast asleep, having fallen so while Barbossa was speaking. "Wake up." She snores as she starts awake.
"Oh, sorry. Did I miss anything? It was odd…I had the most boring dream. You were telling me a story about gold and some chief and fritters…mmm, fritters."
"It was *frittering*, not *fritters* and that really happened."
"Oh. Well, please, continue. Don't let my nap interrupt you."
"This is the last piece of gold. Once we return it, and repay the blood, we will be free of the curse."
"What blood?" Elizabeth asks, a little nervous now.
"Yours, of course."
Elizabeth runs out of the cabin, onto the deck, where she is greeted with a shocking sight. A multitude of floppy, cartoon skeletons plod to and fro on the deck. They all turn to grin at her for a moment, then simultaneously go back to their tasks.
"Miss Turner, I really don't know what you're doing. I'm sure it was quite an accomplishment to run out of my cabin, but from there where were you expecting to go?"
Elizabeth realizes that there isn't anywhere else to go, but tries anyway. "I'm a pretty good swimmer."
"Wasn't it you nearly drowning that started this whole thing?"
"That was different. I was unconscious."
"That's no excuse."
"Oh, and of course *you* can swim while unconscious."
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I can."
"Prove it."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you are rather dull. Now, go back inside like a good little girl."
"Fine. But I refuse to wear this dress anymore!"
Inside, Elizabeth takes the dress off, leaving only her shift. "At least this is stylish," she thinks aloud.
"By the way, Miss Turner," Barbossa's voice says. "I can see you at all times."
"What? Where did that voice come from?"
"I am the ghost of Christmas past."
"No you're not. You're Captain Barbossa."
"All right, I confess. But I really *can* see you."
"How?"
"Big Brother is watching."
End Chapter 7
I know this one wasn't as funny. Don't worry, as soon as I get back to Jack and Will, it will be. Able bodied crew, coming up!!
Please review.
Chapter 7- The Dinner
Pintel and Ragetti enter the room where Elizabeth is being kept.
Pintel says. "You'll be dining with the captain tonight, and he wants you to wear this." He holds out a silly-looking dress with frills and lace and pink satin bows.
"I don't want to."
"He said if you don't you'll be dining with the crew," Pintel says.
"So?" Elizabeth demands.
"And you'll be naked." Pintel's grin widened.
"So?"
"And we like to sing 'Showboat' at dinner."
Elizabeth grabs for the dress, thinking, *anything but Showboat!*
At the table piled high with food, Elizabeth looks down at the ridiculous dress. *At least he has better taste than my father.* She sighs. She begins to eat, taking the tiniest nibble of a bite from her fork.
"Oh, come on. I'm a pirate, you think I care about manners?"
Elizabeth glances from him to the food, and then starts to positively inhale the food. Barbossa looks at her very disgustedly.
"On second thought, go back to the way you were doing it before." Elizabeth ignores him at first. "Okay, that's it. Take the food away," he says. Elizabeth slows down, 60-0, and chews like a perfect lady.
"That's…better," says Barbossa. "Now, why do you think I asked you here?"
"So you can stare at my boobs?"
"No."
"So you can stare at my butt?"
"No."
"I don't know."
Barbossa holds up the skeletal pendant she was recently wearing. "You don't know what this is, do you?"
"What a silly question. Of course I don't know what that is."
"Take a guess."
"A skeleton."
"No. Well, yes, but I mean the significance of it."
"No clue."
"I thought as much."
"What are you trying to say?"
"What am I *not* trying to say?"
"What?"
"Exactly."
Elizabeth, too confused to speak, sits silently and allows Barbossa to continue. "This is the gold of the ancient chief, Walto Disnia. It was buried at an island that you can't find unless you already know where it is, or someone tells you how to get there, or you're really, really, really lucky. We were lucky, and find it we did. A warning of the curse was written, saying that anyone who removed but a single piece of the treasure would be…well, cursed. We ignored it, took the gold and frittered it away on women and drink. Then we realized, after a while, that our lust, our thirst, our hunger could never be sated. We were cursed. We still are, for that matter. We will remain that way until all the lost gold is retrieved, and the blood repaid. We have found every piece and returned it to the chest, all save…Miss Turner?"
Elizabeth is fast asleep, having fallen so while Barbossa was speaking. "Wake up." She snores as she starts awake.
"Oh, sorry. Did I miss anything? It was odd…I had the most boring dream. You were telling me a story about gold and some chief and fritters…mmm, fritters."
"It was *frittering*, not *fritters* and that really happened."
"Oh. Well, please, continue. Don't let my nap interrupt you."
"This is the last piece of gold. Once we return it, and repay the blood, we will be free of the curse."
"What blood?" Elizabeth asks, a little nervous now.
"Yours, of course."
Elizabeth runs out of the cabin, onto the deck, where she is greeted with a shocking sight. A multitude of floppy, cartoon skeletons plod to and fro on the deck. They all turn to grin at her for a moment, then simultaneously go back to their tasks.
"Miss Turner, I really don't know what you're doing. I'm sure it was quite an accomplishment to run out of my cabin, but from there where were you expecting to go?"
Elizabeth realizes that there isn't anywhere else to go, but tries anyway. "I'm a pretty good swimmer."
"Wasn't it you nearly drowning that started this whole thing?"
"That was different. I was unconscious."
"That's no excuse."
"Oh, and of course *you* can swim while unconscious."
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I can."
"Prove it."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because you are rather dull. Now, go back inside like a good little girl."
"Fine. But I refuse to wear this dress anymore!"
Inside, Elizabeth takes the dress off, leaving only her shift. "At least this is stylish," she thinks aloud.
"By the way, Miss Turner," Barbossa's voice says. "I can see you at all times."
"What? Where did that voice come from?"
"I am the ghost of Christmas past."
"No you're not. You're Captain Barbossa."
"All right, I confess. But I really *can* see you."
"How?"
"Big Brother is watching."
End Chapter 7
I know this one wasn't as funny. Don't worry, as soon as I get back to Jack and Will, it will be. Able bodied crew, coming up!!
Please review.