Chapter 11- Scene Cuts
The Black Pearl approaches Isla de Muerta, this time with the right blood on board, and the monkey named after now all three major characters of the movie. Barbossa is on deck, brooding about his apples.
Pintel and Ragetti are pretending to clean the floor of the brig, but they're really just imagining themselves as lounge singers. Will suddenly says to them, "You knew my father?"
"I *AM* your father," Pintel says.
"Who?" Ragetti asks, confused.
"Nevermind," Will dismisses it.
"If I only had a brain, I could compound in a plane," Cotton says from across the cells, where the entire crew is crammed into one cell. Will, in his own cell, has enough room but is very lonely.
Barbossa appears, looking very sour apples. (A/N: haha, get it?) He throws a rope, which hits Ragetti in the false eye. "Bring the bitch," he says.
Scene cuts to Norrington, Jack, and all those random Navy guys. Jack keeps making suggestions that are blatantly acknowledged and discarded by the asshole- ahem, the guy in charge.
Elizabeth is shut up in a room, pouting and braiding sheets out of boredom. She is vaguely aware of her father trying to talk to her from outside the room, but assumes that it has something to do with clothes, and so tries very hard not to hear him. Eventually, she decides that her braided sheets will make a passable rope, and shimmies on down to a rowboat that appears out of nowhere.
(A/N: Seriously. You know how she suddenly has a boat? How the hell would she get it? That part never made sense to me.)
Scene cuts to Jack rowing, looking all sexy and fine. (A/N: Redundant, I know. Prize to anyone who can tell me how many author's notes I have in this story. Because I don't know.)
Scene cuts to random Navy soldiers in the boats, and the one guy asks why they aren't taking Jack's suggestion. Another answers. "Because we never actually do anything. We pretend to help while we're really being completely ineffectual."
"Oh. But why-"
"Shut up!"
Scene cuts back to Will, being dragged all over the place by some random cursed pirate. He ends up in front of the chest of skeleton medallion/pendant/necklace thingies. He struggles feebly every once in a while.
"I won't die. This is a Disney movie."
"Hahaha, that's what you think. Finally, we're going to be uncursed-"
"That's not a word!!" Jack yells from the middle of the crowd of pirates.
"It is now- what the fuck? Jack Sparrow! It's not possible."
"Sure it is. Otherwise I doubt I would be standing here. Anyway, I just thought you might want to know, the British Royal Navy is waiting outside for you."
"Is Elizabeth with you?"
"Yes, Turner, blah blah blah and we're all men of our word. Except for Elizabeth, who is in fact a woman."
"What the hell did you just say?"
"You know what, I'm going to kill him anyway."
"Hello, you idiot. You want them to kill you, don't you?"
"Okay, so what do you propose we do, Mister-I'm-Jack-Sparrow-and-I-know-everything?"
"Captain, dude. Captain. Anyway, I say, go out, take the dauntless, and then," he scoops a handful of the coins out of the chest, dropping them back in haphazardly. "Then, lift the curse. Just wait for the opportune moment."
Will looks clueless for about five minutes before a very obvious expression of understanding which all of the pirates miss crosses his face.
"And then, you'll have two ships, name me captain of the Pearl, and you can be, like, Master, or Commodore, or Whore of the Two Ships, or whatever you want to call yourself."
"I want fifty percent of your plunder."
"Ten percent."
"Forty."
"Fifteen."
"Thirty-five."
"Sixteen."
"Thirty-four."
"Seventeen."
"Thirty-three."
"Eighteen."
This continues until they've reached twenty four point two percent. "And I'll buy you a hat. The one Will wears at the end of the movie."
"We have an accord," Barbossa says. "Boys, go kick some Navy ass."
Scene cuts- "Ow!"- to Elizabeth, who is on the Black Pearl suddenly. In a surprising move, she decides not to be afraid of the monkey anymore, and offers to dress it up in her father's clothes. The monkey runs away screaming. Or shrieking. Or both.
She frees the crew, then goes all, "Let's save Will and Jack! They're too hot to die!"
"Fuck those fuckers we're getting the fuck out of here!" Anamaria says. Elizabeth is just thinking of how much the idea of fucking them appeals to her. Both of them. At once. Oooo.
"Bloody pirates," Elizabeth mutters. She is rowing all alone and no one is quite sure how she got there all the way from the Black Pearl so quickly.
"This is just like what the Greeks did at Troy," Ragetti says. None of the other pirates have any idea what he's talking about.
"Right. Because we have to wait inside a horse for a week while they debate whether to bring us into the city," Pintel says, rolling his eyes.
They climb onto the ship. They notice the Black Pearl sailing away. "Hey, they're stealing our ship! Bloody Pirates!"
This gets the attention of all the Navy soldiers present, and they start to fight back.
"Oh, what the hell. Now we have to put effort into it."
Scene cuts- "OW! What the hell, that hurts! Stop cutting me!"- to Jack Sparrow and all that beautiful stuff.
"Jack, you're just so unpredictable."
"Well, no, for I am dishonest, and a dishonest person you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for, because you can never tell when they-"
He cuts himself off, throwing Will a sword. Will notices at the last possible second, bringing his (bound) hands to one side to catch the blade. "Haha! *Now* I don't feel stupid!"
Fighting continues in all areas. Jack is suddenly stabbed through the stomach. He makes deathlike sounds, then breaks into a fit of laughter, pointing at Barbossa. "You thought you killed me! Hahaha, I had you, didn't I? Priceless!" He flips one of the skeleton pendants into the air. "You're so gullible, Barbossa."
And the fighting is still going on. And on. And on…and on and on and on…
Elizabeth shows up, smacks one of the pirates in the ass, and goes, "Oh, Will! I saved you!"
Too distracted with her body in that soldier's uniform, Will lets her think this. They all fight together, eventually exploding the three pirates they battle against. Will runs up to the chest. He catches the skeleton Jack throws, and he cuts his own hand with a scene cut.
Barbossa realizes that Jack just shot him. "What an idiot. You carry that pistol around for ten years, and then waste the one shot we gave you, and you've never reloaded, and you-"
"You and your apples."
"What?"
"Oh, sorry, getting ahead of myself."
"He didn't waste the shot," Will says, dropping the skeletons into the chest.
Barbossa opens his shirt to look at the profusely bleeding wound. "Fuck." He falls over, dead. An apple, which he was *not* holding while fighting or looking at his brand new bullet-wound, falls out of his hand.
"What the hell? Were you just carrying around an apple that whole time? Who carries around apples? You and your apples. None of them could ever measure up to that one apple, anyway. That perfect apple. The one I aspire to be."
"Jack, what are you talking about?"
"Um, nothing?"
Within the next five minutes, the Navy retakes the Dauntless, though not by their own doing, Will manages to make Elizabeth cry, and Jack spouts some knowing sentence that changes Will's life. (A/N: no, it is not "If I was any hotter, you could have a barbecue on my ribs".)
End Chapter 11
Ok, I decided to condense that whole thing just because I'm really tired of writing this story. I'll try to make the last chapter really good. I don't know if I can, though. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, please review again. It makes things a lot more fun for me.
The Black Pearl approaches Isla de Muerta, this time with the right blood on board, and the monkey named after now all three major characters of the movie. Barbossa is on deck, brooding about his apples.
Pintel and Ragetti are pretending to clean the floor of the brig, but they're really just imagining themselves as lounge singers. Will suddenly says to them, "You knew my father?"
"I *AM* your father," Pintel says.
"Who?" Ragetti asks, confused.
"Nevermind," Will dismisses it.
"If I only had a brain, I could compound in a plane," Cotton says from across the cells, where the entire crew is crammed into one cell. Will, in his own cell, has enough room but is very lonely.
Barbossa appears, looking very sour apples. (A/N: haha, get it?) He throws a rope, which hits Ragetti in the false eye. "Bring the bitch," he says.
Scene cuts to Norrington, Jack, and all those random Navy guys. Jack keeps making suggestions that are blatantly acknowledged and discarded by the asshole- ahem, the guy in charge.
Elizabeth is shut up in a room, pouting and braiding sheets out of boredom. She is vaguely aware of her father trying to talk to her from outside the room, but assumes that it has something to do with clothes, and so tries very hard not to hear him. Eventually, she decides that her braided sheets will make a passable rope, and shimmies on down to a rowboat that appears out of nowhere.
(A/N: Seriously. You know how she suddenly has a boat? How the hell would she get it? That part never made sense to me.)
Scene cuts to Jack rowing, looking all sexy and fine. (A/N: Redundant, I know. Prize to anyone who can tell me how many author's notes I have in this story. Because I don't know.)
Scene cuts to random Navy soldiers in the boats, and the one guy asks why they aren't taking Jack's suggestion. Another answers. "Because we never actually do anything. We pretend to help while we're really being completely ineffectual."
"Oh. But why-"
"Shut up!"
Scene cuts back to Will, being dragged all over the place by some random cursed pirate. He ends up in front of the chest of skeleton medallion/pendant/necklace thingies. He struggles feebly every once in a while.
"I won't die. This is a Disney movie."
"Hahaha, that's what you think. Finally, we're going to be uncursed-"
"That's not a word!!" Jack yells from the middle of the crowd of pirates.
"It is now- what the fuck? Jack Sparrow! It's not possible."
"Sure it is. Otherwise I doubt I would be standing here. Anyway, I just thought you might want to know, the British Royal Navy is waiting outside for you."
"Is Elizabeth with you?"
"Yes, Turner, blah blah blah and we're all men of our word. Except for Elizabeth, who is in fact a woman."
"What the hell did you just say?"
"You know what, I'm going to kill him anyway."
"Hello, you idiot. You want them to kill you, don't you?"
"Okay, so what do you propose we do, Mister-I'm-Jack-Sparrow-and-I-know-everything?"
"Captain, dude. Captain. Anyway, I say, go out, take the dauntless, and then," he scoops a handful of the coins out of the chest, dropping them back in haphazardly. "Then, lift the curse. Just wait for the opportune moment."
Will looks clueless for about five minutes before a very obvious expression of understanding which all of the pirates miss crosses his face.
"And then, you'll have two ships, name me captain of the Pearl, and you can be, like, Master, or Commodore, or Whore of the Two Ships, or whatever you want to call yourself."
"I want fifty percent of your plunder."
"Ten percent."
"Forty."
"Fifteen."
"Thirty-five."
"Sixteen."
"Thirty-four."
"Seventeen."
"Thirty-three."
"Eighteen."
This continues until they've reached twenty four point two percent. "And I'll buy you a hat. The one Will wears at the end of the movie."
"We have an accord," Barbossa says. "Boys, go kick some Navy ass."
Scene cuts- "Ow!"- to Elizabeth, who is on the Black Pearl suddenly. In a surprising move, she decides not to be afraid of the monkey anymore, and offers to dress it up in her father's clothes. The monkey runs away screaming. Or shrieking. Or both.
She frees the crew, then goes all, "Let's save Will and Jack! They're too hot to die!"
"Fuck those fuckers we're getting the fuck out of here!" Anamaria says. Elizabeth is just thinking of how much the idea of fucking them appeals to her. Both of them. At once. Oooo.
"Bloody pirates," Elizabeth mutters. She is rowing all alone and no one is quite sure how she got there all the way from the Black Pearl so quickly.
"This is just like what the Greeks did at Troy," Ragetti says. None of the other pirates have any idea what he's talking about.
"Right. Because we have to wait inside a horse for a week while they debate whether to bring us into the city," Pintel says, rolling his eyes.
They climb onto the ship. They notice the Black Pearl sailing away. "Hey, they're stealing our ship! Bloody Pirates!"
This gets the attention of all the Navy soldiers present, and they start to fight back.
"Oh, what the hell. Now we have to put effort into it."
Scene cuts- "OW! What the hell, that hurts! Stop cutting me!"- to Jack Sparrow and all that beautiful stuff.
"Jack, you're just so unpredictable."
"Well, no, for I am dishonest, and a dishonest person you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you have to watch out for, because you can never tell when they-"
He cuts himself off, throwing Will a sword. Will notices at the last possible second, bringing his (bound) hands to one side to catch the blade. "Haha! *Now* I don't feel stupid!"
Fighting continues in all areas. Jack is suddenly stabbed through the stomach. He makes deathlike sounds, then breaks into a fit of laughter, pointing at Barbossa. "You thought you killed me! Hahaha, I had you, didn't I? Priceless!" He flips one of the skeleton pendants into the air. "You're so gullible, Barbossa."
And the fighting is still going on. And on. And on…and on and on and on…
Elizabeth shows up, smacks one of the pirates in the ass, and goes, "Oh, Will! I saved you!"
Too distracted with her body in that soldier's uniform, Will lets her think this. They all fight together, eventually exploding the three pirates they battle against. Will runs up to the chest. He catches the skeleton Jack throws, and he cuts his own hand with a scene cut.
Barbossa realizes that Jack just shot him. "What an idiot. You carry that pistol around for ten years, and then waste the one shot we gave you, and you've never reloaded, and you-"
"You and your apples."
"What?"
"Oh, sorry, getting ahead of myself."
"He didn't waste the shot," Will says, dropping the skeletons into the chest.
Barbossa opens his shirt to look at the profusely bleeding wound. "Fuck." He falls over, dead. An apple, which he was *not* holding while fighting or looking at his brand new bullet-wound, falls out of his hand.
"What the hell? Were you just carrying around an apple that whole time? Who carries around apples? You and your apples. None of them could ever measure up to that one apple, anyway. That perfect apple. The one I aspire to be."
"Jack, what are you talking about?"
"Um, nothing?"
Within the next five minutes, the Navy retakes the Dauntless, though not by their own doing, Will manages to make Elizabeth cry, and Jack spouts some knowing sentence that changes Will's life. (A/N: no, it is not "If I was any hotter, you could have a barbecue on my ribs".)
End Chapter 11
Ok, I decided to condense that whole thing just because I'm really tired of writing this story. I'll try to make the last chapter really good. I don't know if I can, though. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, please review again. It makes things a lot more fun for me.