Make a move on me baby
I cant be the one who's
always taking chances
see me down
so you get down
no you've got me all wrong
I just want to kiss your lips
and you kiss back

-"Stay Away", Rooney

~*~

"Colin," Ephram gasped as he threw his head back for air. Colin grinned as he began to work on the buttons of Ephram's shirt while Ephram unbuckled Colin's belt. "Colin!" Funny, how Ephram's voice sounded suspiciously like Bright's.

"Colin!" He nearly fell off the bed when Bright pushed him over. Rubbing his eyes, he looked over at his friend. What would he think if he knew what I was dreaming? "Wow, that looked like some dream you were having." Bright grinned knowingly. "Was it about Amy? Wait," Bright said quickly, suddenly disgusted, "if it was, don't tell me."

"It wasn't about Amy," Colin promised.

"We have to go to breakfast," Bright told him, nearly stepping on the head of his actual roommate who he'd forced to sleep on the floor. "So what's the deal with sleeping in here again? What happened to Ephram?"

"Oh," Colin said, quickly remembering his lie, "he, uh- he snores."

Bright rolled his eyes. "Dork." He got off the bed and headed to the bathroom.

~*~

Ephram desperately tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes as he grabbed a Pop-Tart in the dining hall. Maybe if he face-planted into a bowl of milk he'd be awake. Hopefully, good old-fashioned, teeth-rotting sugar would knock him into the land of the conscious.

He hadn't been able to sleep all night. The Colin thing totally had him confused. And what exactly was the Colin thing? Ephram had no idea what was going on with Colin or himself.

Grabbing a bowl of Rice Krispies and a mini-carton of milk, he sat himself down at an empty table. OK, he mentally declared. Let's get the facts straight. Colin likes you. Colin wants to have a relationship with you. Colin kissed you and you kissed back. But do I like Colin?

He looked up and found Colin eating breakfast over at the Popular Kids table. Normally Ephram would be over there, but his fight with Colin had caused his usual seat to be filled by someone else. Ephram swallowed hard when he saw the sweatshirt Colin was wearing twist around his torso, pulling up his T-shirt and exposing soft skin. Ephram could almost feel it against his palm, warm and soft. He was very happy that there was a tablecloth covering his legs as he felt an erection coming on. Yeah… it's safe to say I like Colin.

He caught a glance at Amy. She looked sort of despondent as she dug into her waffles, and Ephram remembered the fight she and Colin had the day before. It would kill her to know he and Colin were gay. Whoa. How did I get into this? I'm not gay.

Oh please, you moron, a part of his mind sighed. Ephram thought back to New York. There had been friends- guy friends- who'd he'd found attractive. Of course, they all had their own Gwen Stefani/Avril-lookalike girlfriends, so the attraction never went farther then, well, attraction. In the meantime, he'd dated girls, but not for very long. He'd always been the one to end it, however. And when he found one he liked, she'd been unattainable, like Amy was.

A light bulb appeared. Oh God, Ephram realized, I've always been gay. He took a bite of his Pop-Tart. Figures. I can't figure out girls, so why should guys be any easier?

He looked down at his breakfast. The krispies were soggy from the milk and no longer snapping, crackling, or popping. Besides, he was wide-awake now.

~*~

"Colin," he heard Amy say as they left the dining room. He winced; he'd spotted Ephram staring when they were eating breakfast and he'd wanted to talk to him. Colin spun around, to find Amy running up to him. "Hey," she greeted him cheerily. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," Colin answered with a shrug. She pulled him into the lounge and onto the couch Ephram had been sitting on yesterday. Amy sighed. "I just want to say, I'm sorry for yesterday. I was pushing you too hard."

No kidding, Colin thought, but didn't say it aloud. "It's OK."

"It's just that- I just wish things could be like the way they were, you know?"

"I don't know." Colin was surprised to hear that for once, what he was thinking was coming out of his mouth. "I wasn't there."

"Colin, what's wrong with you? You were there." She was confused. Not nearly as confused as he was.

"No, Amy, the old Colin was there. I am not him, OK? And I can't stand it when you try to pretend I am!"

Amy sat there, mouth open like a fish, grasping for words. "Amy," he began, and then paused. He couldn't think of anything to say but the truth. "I think we should take a break for a while."

"What?" Amy said. Shocked was not enough to describe her face. Horrified, overwhelmed, dismayed- none of them could explain how she looked at that moment.

"I need a break," Colin explained. This was so much easier in his head, when he didn't have to see how pained she looked. "Everything is just so hard right now, you know? I need time to- to figure it all out."

"Yeah," Amy agreed, her voice choked up. "I get it." She stood up quickly, and Colin saw a flash of tears in her eyes.

"Amy-"

"I'll see you later, Colin." She hurried out of the lounge.

~*~

Dr. Abbott is the most annoying man ever. Ephram reconsidered that thought as he began to mold a ball of clay into an angel. Well, second only to my father. Ski Trip Activity #16: Christian Clay, which came after Psalm Sing-Along, Debate: Creation vs. Evolution?; and Bible Dictionary. Ephram frowned at his angel; it looked like someone had punched its face in. Frustrated, he squished the angel into a little clay ball.

At the table next to him, Kayla and Paige were talking. "Have you seen Amy?" Kayla was asking, their Play-Doh drying while they gossiped.

"Yeah," Paige replied. "She's a mess. Colin totally messed her up."

"What?" Ephram said quickly, whirling around in his chair to face the girls. They looked at him annoyedly; each one gave him that particular look of disgust saved just for him. "Colin broke up with Amy?"

"Excuse me," Kayla snapped, "but who invited you into this conversation?"

"Colin broke up with Amy?" repeated Ephram, automatically ignoring whatever speech spewed from Kayla's mouth.

"Yeah, this morning," Paige told him. "He wanted to take a break, so he could- what did Amy say? 'Figure things out'."

"She's upstairs, like, sobbing away right now," Kayla said matter-of-factly. "Now could you please turn around before your face is permanently implanted on my eyes?"

With a look of annoyance Ephram spun back around in his chair, playing with the clay between his fingers. So Colin had broken up with Amy. For him? That would be kind of sweet; except for the fact Colin wasn't speaking to him because Ephram was such a dumbass he hadn't been able to say, "Yes, Colin, I like you in a 'I-like-to-kiss-boys' way."

I should really seek therapy, Ephram decided as he rolled his Play-Doh on the table. Suddenly he couldn't sit there anymore. He left his clay and headed upstairs to his room.

~*~

Colin noticed that as he made his way through the hallways of the lodge back to his room, girls would glare at him, even girls he didn't know. It sent an unpleasant feeling up the back of his neck. That's weird, he thought. What did I do?

"Colin!" He turned around at the sound of Bright's voice. His eyes were narrowed and the tilt of his head vaguely reminded Colin of a bull ready to charge.

"Hey, Bright."

"What the hell did you say to my sister?" demanded Bright. Colin suddenly felt ill; it never occurred to him how Bright would take the news of their break up. "Did you break up with her?"

"No, I- I said I wanted to take a break for a while. Is she all right?"

"No," Bright told him flatly. "She's in her room, crying." Colin felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. Congratulations, Colin, he thought to himself. You're officially the world's biggest jerk.

"I didn't mean to hurt her," he said softly.

"Well, you did! Colin, Amy's, like, crazy about you-"

"Don't you think I know that?" Guilt was quickly replaced with defensiveness. "I know how she feels, Bright. But I can't take it anymore. I can't worry about hurting her all the time when I'm just trying to- to put the pieces together." How can I explain it to him? Colin wondered hopelessly. "She deserves better." It was true; Amy deserved a boy who loved her the way she loved Colin. But Colin couldn't give that to her.

Bright looked at Colin in a strange way, as if he'd just put together a puzzle; the expression of sudden intelligence looked strange on Bright. "Yeah. Uh-huh. I get it, man." He stretched out his arm to rest on Colin's shoulder. Colin jerked away from Bright's touch. "I'm going to my room." Bright watched Colin trudge away.

~*~

The hallways were filled with people, holding beer cans, wine bottles, and other bottles of liquid Ephram didn't even want to know about. "Where's Dr. Abbott?" asked Ephram to a random guy in the hall. If people were freely running around with alcohol, there was a very good chance Amy's father was dead.

"He's taking a ride on the ski lift," the guy said with a grin. Ephram took another glance at the hallway party people. I can't stay out here, he thought bitterly. Hanging out too long with people who's IQ is equal to their shoe size will only make me drop in intelligence points.

Ephram pushed his way through the drunk and the slutty to his bedroom, and quickly locked himself inside. He hadn't even noticed the light was already on. "Ephram?" He spun around quickly, to find Colin behind him.

"What are you doing here?" Ephram wished he hadn't said it like that. It sounded like he didn't want to see Colin, when all he wanted was the opposite. He also wished his heart would stop beating like it was trying to jump out of his chest.

"I'll leave, if you want. I just wanted my- toothbrush." Colin looked around the room, and Ephram knew he hadn't really forgotten his toothbrush.

"So, I was thinking, about last night," Ephram began in a tone that sounded casual, or close to it. "I do- like you." Colin looked up from the floor; blue eyes met bluer ones. "In a 'I-like-to-kiss-boys' way."

Colin's face broke into a wide grin. "I was hoping you'd say that." He paused, looking- what? Ephram wondered. Guilty? Curious? "So, some guys gave Dr. Abbott a sleeping pill. He'll be out all night. It's, like, one big party."

He began to see what Colin was hinting at. "I'm not really in a party mood," he admitted. Ephram kissed him, gently at first. Colin surged his tongue forward, stroking it along Ephram's, inviting him into his mouth to explore. Ephram wordlessly agreed.

Colin was the first to break away, breathing heavily. His left hand groped for the buttons on Ephram's shirt, but his lone hand was clumsy and unused to such small work. He narrowed his eyes as he tried to work the buttons, but Ephram slowly pushed his hand away and unbuttoned his shirt himself. "I got it," he whispered gently.

He peeled off his shirt, and Colin ran his hand against Ephram's wiry but firm body with a shy grin. Ephram shivered at Colin's cool hand. His lips met Ephram's again, then began to trace their way down his face to his neck. Ephram inhaled deeply, making sure Colin's peppermint-pine-aftershave scent was imprinted onto his brain. Gingerly his tongue darted out, tickling Colin's ear. Colin stopped sucking on Ephram's neck for a minute to laugh. "That tickles."

"It's cold," Ephram told him quietly, although the music blaring in the hall was so loud no one could have heard what they were doing. Confidently Colin pressed his body against Ephram's. Ephram pulled at Colin's sweatshirt, dragging it up over his head and avoiding his sling. He tossed it aside, admiring Colin's abs through the tight t-shirt he wore. Ephram curved his arms around him, grasping his muscular body from his shoulders to (Ephram's delight) his very squeezable ass.

Ephram took the lead, forcing Colin to the bed as they kissed. He grabbed his waist and pulled him down on top of him. I'm so glad I pushed the beds together last night, Ephram thought as Colin's tongue began explore Ephram's chest, sucking at his hard nipples like a bottle of milk as he traced his mouth downward. Colin's mouth reached the top of his jeans, and Ephram could feel Colin's hands work the zipper.

"Wait!" Ephram gasped, looking up quickly. Colin instantly looked hurt, like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. We can't do this, Ephram thought. We can't just have sex! It's- He ordered himself to stop himself from thinking, It's wrong. "I- I can't."

Colin nodded, his cheeks darkening from rose to crimson. He leaned back on his knees. "But…" Ephram trailed off as he sat on the edge of the bed, his body level with Colin's. "There are other things. That we can do," he added quickly. Colin nodded, smiling as Ephram pulled him into a deep kiss.

~*~

When Colin had been in the hospital, the temperature had always been in the low 60s. But when he stepped outside, he found Colorado freezing. Colin was unprepared for chilly Everwood weather, where the thermometer peaked in the 40s. Plus, his mother liked to keep the house "cool"; Colin didn't like to wake up at 6:30 in the morning for school to find his bedroom nearly below zero. It seemed that the cold was a metaphor for his current mental state; it was like everyone had been invited inside to stay warm and he was left in the snow.

But that morning Colin had woken up warm. He had no blankets on, and the only clothes he wore were his boxers. But the heat of Ephram's body, his arms wrapped around his waist and his legs intertwined with Colin's, was keeping him warm.

He ruffled Ephram's hair. Ephram came across as sullen and sarcastic, but when he slept he looked peaceful, like a baby. Colin took a whiff of Ephram's hair; it smelled fresh and almost flowery, although Ephram surely wouldn't appreciate hearing that.

Ephram blinked his eyes and peeled his arms off Colin. "Morning, sunshine," Colin greeted him. Even Ephram's eyes had a shade of baby blue mixed within the muddled green-gray.

"You sound like my grandma," Ephram replied tartly, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He looked down at himself, dressed only in his briefs. Then he glanced over at Colin, an amused look on his face. "They should put this on a postcard for the lodge. You know, 'Two More Satisfied Customers'."

Colin snorted. He glanced over at the clock on the wall and his smile faded. "It's eight o'clock. Breakfast was half an hour ago."

"Shit," Ephram moaned, getting off the bed. He bent down to the floor, pulling on yesterday's pants. "So, is this it?"

"Is what it?" Colin asked as he began to search his suitcase for clean clothes.

"I mean, was this a one-time thing? You know, like on 'Friends', when Chandler and Monica are in London, and they do it, and-" Ephram noticed Colin's completely confused expression. "And you have no idea what I'm talking about."

"No. But I don't want this to be a one-time thing. I want this to be a… full-time thing." Colin waited for Ephram to respond. "Is that cool with you?"

To his surprise, Ephram smiled. "Yeah. That's cool."

~*~

The bus ride back to Everwood was perhaps the worst three hours of Colin the Second's life, considering that they were being led in catechism by a nun and Amy's friends were shooting Colin mean looks every minute or so. Plus Ephram was sitting right next to him. Colin's arms ached not to be touching him. He couldn't help but notice every few seconds that when Ephram was flushed his cheeks were the perfect shade of rose, or his hands were finely shaped and as graceful as if carved out of wood or molded out of clay. Colin wanted those hands on his body, keeping him warm, making him feel like he was complete, to assure him that the big gaps in his memory were all right, and that Ephram would still care about him no matter what.

He stepped off the bus three hours later. Ephram was a few steps behind him. "So… I'll see you around?" Colin said quickly.

Ephram smiled, a sincere smile that made Colin's body become very hot all of a sudden. "I'll call you," he promised. He waved good-bye as he went to meet his father. Colin waved back.

He turned to the sound of his name being called. His mother and Laynie were waiting at the car. He picked up his bags and headed over.

"Did you have fun this weekend?" Mrs. Hart asked.

"No," Laynie said flatly. Colin only smiled.