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Date Started: 180803

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Confessions
by
Jennifier D.









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To love, is to show the greatest courage of all.

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04:

Although it was true that Fuji Syuusuke actually stopped playing tennis in high school, it wasn't exactly true to say he had stopped playing tennis for good. He was still playing tennis, though they were all private matches with Ryoma, Tezuka or his younger brother. Sometimes, he played against Kikumaru and Oishi, too.

Due to clashing timetable schedules, Fuji was unable to join Tezuka and Ryoma at their weekend matches, but he tried to play against Ryoma as and when he was free. Today happened to be one of those days where he was off from his duties at the photography club and he could afford to spend some time with boy wonder playing tennis.

"Ne Fuji-senpai," the younger boy suddenly spoke up in between games, a nonchalant look on his face. "Are you dating Buchou?"

There was a pause.

When Fuji started laughing softly, Ryoma knew that something he said must have gone seriously off tangent.

"What gave you that idea, Echizen?"

Ryoma shrugged. "It seemed like it."

"Maa..." The tensai smiled. "I'm not dating Tezuka. I'm not interested in him either."

Boy wonder blinked. The gears in a part of his brain were already beginning to shift, and the question Momoshirou asked him just a week ago surfaced rapidly to the top of his mind. He stared at his senpai.

Fuji only tilted his head to one side and smiled in return.

Ryoma stared some more, eyes wide.

"Echizen?"

The younger boy blinked. "You're not interested in Tezuka-buchou...?"

The tensai nodded, a sweet smile on his face.

There was more blinking from Ryoma. "Then who..."

"That would be you, of course."

Another pause.

"Ehh?"

Fuji seemed to grin at the slightly bewildered look on Ryoma's face.

"I like you, Echizen."

Ryoma gawked. Then gawked some more. He had this faint idea that he just trapped himself into something he didn't exactly... want.

The older boy smiled. Ryoma could only stare mutely in return.

"Let's go out this Saturday?"


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Boy wonder wasn't amused.

Nope, definitely not amused at all.

After Fuji asked him out for a date on Saturday, Tezuka asked him out for a movie on Sunday. Somehow, Ryoma couldn't help feeling that someone above was playing a very big joke on him, and a wise decision now would be to find a random hole somewhere, bury himself and stay inside until the coming century.

Apparently, Tezuka's decision to ask him out could be interpreted as an act of war from the former buchou. At least, Fuji decided to interpret it as that, since Tezuka actually asked Ryoma out right before the tensai. Fuji had smirked then, and the younger boy really wasn't interested to know what was it that he was smirking about.

It wasn't funny, really. Boy wonder wasn't even smiling.

He only felt as if he had been running round and round their school in continuous laps while Tezuka and Fuji watched with amused glints in their eyes. He was fooled. Totally and utterly fooled. All along, he thought that Fuji turned up during those matches he had with Tezuka only to watch the buchou. Well, he was wrong.

At any rate, he had other things to worry about.

It was Saturday today.

Ryoma walked downstairs with something vaguely akin to doom hovering like a large ominous cloud above his head. His father seemed to notice this almost immediately and was on him like a yapping puppy, making him want to stick a tennis racket down the old man's throat in order to make him shut the hell up.

"Oi! Seishounen! Where're you going looking like that?"

A sullen glare was all Ryoma gave in reply.

Unable to figure out why his son was acting so grouchy that day, Nanjirou tilted his head to one side and contemplated all the possible reasons. Karupin came to a stop beside Ryoma's father, a questioning look in its eyes as it watched Ryoma get ready to leave the house.

"Got ditched? Someone beat you in tennis? Failed attempt to confess to a cute girl?" Nanjirou watched his son intently, suddenly remembering that his idiotic son was no good at chasing girls. He was only good at letting girls chase him-aha! "Going on a date with someone?"

Ryoma twitched, faintly. "Probably."

The eventual look Nanjirou acquired on his face could only be described as smug.

"Is that person pretty?"

Boy wonder thought about his father's question as he wore his shoes. Fuji wasn't exactly... typically pretty. At least, not pretty in the way a girl would be pretty. But there was something very attractive about his features, all the same.

"Somewhat."

"Woah! You're going on a date with a pretty girl and you're looking glum! What in the world's wrong with you, shounen?"

Ryoma gave his father the evil eye. "I'm not going out with a girl." He then stood up. "Ittekimasu."

"Meow~"

Before Nanjirou's brain could reboot and digest the answer Ryoma gave, the boy was already out of the door and walking towards the gate to meet the person standing there waiting for him.

"Oi-oi! Wait! What do you mean by you're not going out with a girl?!" As Nanjirou ran out after his son, his eyes met with Fuji's steely open-eyed gaze for the briefest of moments. The older boy closed his eyes and offered a friendly smile in return. Fuji was standing beside Ryoma, who looked distinctively sulky.

"Konnichi ha, Ojisan."

Nanjirou only stared.

"Kon... konnichi ha..."


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Echizen started his date with Fuji in a disaster. Not only did his father discover he was dating a boy (totally involuntary, he swore,) Nanjirou also decided that Fuji would make a good boyfriend (because he was pretty, together with the added bonus of being a genius at tennis.) He wanted Fuji to continue chasing Ryoma. The request had felt almost vindictive to boy wonder. His father's sense of logic had never appealed to him and of course, things only managed to get more complicated after he found Ryoma dating his former buchou.

What Ryoma's baka oyaji said after the second discovery ran approximately along the lines of 'Told your mother not to let you grow up in America, now look at you! Why can't you pick a cute girl from your school? Even an older girl is better than... Aragh! At least you have enough taste to pick good-looking boys. If you come home with someone looking like that ugly and annoyingly loud classmate of yours, you can forget about bringing anyone home for eternity!'

It would be an understatement to say Nanjirou was severely upset.

He would like to correct his father about one fact-- he didn't pick them, they picked him, and there was absolutely no way for him to reject them. Not if he wanted to live through the rest of his life in one piece.

His mother was strangely quiet about the issue though, and only warned him to refrain from doing anything he shouldn't do at his current age. Boy wonder had an inkling of what his mother was talking about but he didn't want to think about it. It might prove to be detrimental to his mental health if his thoughts wandered anywhere near _there_.

He had to admit that he rather liked dating Fuji though. The older boy wasn't as obtrusive as he thought, and he was considerate. Furthermore... it always felt as if he was holding back a part of himself when they dated. It felt as if his (faked) shy nature and gentle smiles were used to hide something deeper, darker that lurked within himself. But he was sweet, almost, with the way he treated Ryoma... and boy wonder found himself liking the tensai more and more despite his own misgivings.

"Echizen?"

Ryoma turned, then blinked.

The look on Tezuka's face was quietly inquiring. "Are you alright?"

The younger boy nodded.

"We can always skip the movie if you don't want to watch it."

"Maa ne," Ryoma shrugged. "I was just thinking about something."

"Hm?"

Boy wonder gently kicked away a pebble in his path, then glanced over. "Do you think Fuji-senpai will mind?"

There was a pause.

"I'm not sure."

"I don't think he's going to be happy about it."

"Maybe."

The younger boy brooded distractedly. It wasn't like him to brood, but there was one big secret going on around here and Ryoma was sure that Fuji didn't know about it. It was disturbing, on several levels, to realise that he knew and was involved in things which he probably shouldn't. Especially since the only person who wasn't fully aware of the situation was none other than Fuji Syuusuke.

He understood the truth-- there were two boys vying for his attention, instead of the one he thought there was initially. He couldn't understand why they wanted to do that, but he wasn't going to question them. Furthermore, things were just beginning to get very confusing for boy wonder.

Maybe to Fuji, this would be Ryoma's first date with Tezuka. But the definition of 'date' for them both was a little blurred around the edges. The two of them started going out some time before Tezuka went overseas, but none of their outings was serious. They were just simple outings where they watched a movie or played some recreational tennis (-like hell they ever did. They never played tennis for recreational purposes only.)

Ryoma wouldn't call that dating. Neither would Tezuka. But they were not Fuji, and they wouldn't know how the tensai felt about that. It shouldn't be a problem, but as Fuji got more and more serious about dating Ryoma, the younger boy felt that the tensai ought to be told, somehow.

Furthermore, boy wonder was still trying to accept the fact that Fuji was interested in him. It had seemed like something impossible, because everyone knew how flippant the tensai was. He might become interested in someone (maybe only to torture that person,) but this was the first time Ryoma had seen him this serious about anybody (and he was the target, no less.) Fuji looked as if he was planning to date for the long term. So if things didn't work out...

He didn't want to think about it.

Usually, he wouldn't give a damn about anything outside of tennis, but they had known each other for more than a year after all... and some things were probably best left unsaid.

Ryoma liked Tezuka. He liked the tall, quiet boy whose goal in life seemed to be almost the same as his. He liked the calm, soothing presence the other exuded, and the frustration the older boy gave him when he was defeated in tennis. From the day he met Tezuka, played against him, Ryoma knew that he would never let the other out of his sight ever again.

But he also liked Fuji. There was something about the older boy... though he was incredibly annoying, there were instances where Ryoma saw his potential to become something really great. Something Echizen Ryoma could never become. The future lay in the tensai's hands, and it was up to him to exploit it as he liked.

Boy wonder didn't mind when Fuji chose to stop playing tennis in school. It didn't matter to him, so long as the older boy played against him. He had seen a few pictures from Fuji's portfolio before, too. They could only be described as intense and beautiful, like the person himself. Rich colours and sharp angles that caught beauty in things people often overlooked or took for granted. It was interesting to see that he was just as talented at photography as he was at tennis.

He had always known that Fuji Syuusuke was a true prodigy.

"Ne buchou," Ryoma spoke up again. "I think Fuji-senpai is serious."

"Hm."

"You're not worried?"

"No, I'm not." Tezuka's attention seemed to be elsewhere today.

"Heki na..." As much as he didn't want to, Ryoma had an itchy urge to tell Tezuka about the kiss he shared with Fuji yesterday.

"The movie is going to start soon."

Ryoma glanced at his watch in surprise. "Ehh!"

"Forgot something?"

"Popcorn!"


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Moments after he left Ryoma's house, Tezuka could hear a second pair of footsteps echoing his, deceivingly soft in the evening stillness. The taller boy knew that Fuji saw them just now... in fact, the tensai had 'accidentally' run into them right before their movie started. Tezuka wasn't sure if Fuji knew what was going on between Ryoma and himself... but he could guess.

He glanced over briefly, but only found the tensai smiling.

"Maa, how's your date with Echizen today?"

Tezuka chose not to reply. Although Fuji was still smiling when he glanced over again, there was something different about the tensai's smile. Something strained, and slightly uncomfortable. It was rather unnoticeable, and Tezuka had known Fuji long enough to read all his different expressions.

Moments drifted by between them in silence.

"How long do you plan to keep the truth concealed?"

"I wasn't concealing anything."

"You never told me, Tezuka."

By now, there was no smile adorning the tensai's face and his eyes were open. He wasn't staring at Tezuka though. He was staring straight ahead, and it felt as if he couldn't bear to bring himself to look at Tezuka.

"You never asked."

"Hn." The soft snort from Fuji wasn't exactly uncharacteristic of him, but it made Tezuka glance over again.

There wasn't a question asking why. Somehow, Tezuka almost wished that there had been one. At least, this meant that he could answer Fuji's question. He could tell him, 'No, we didn't mean to conceal the truth from you. Things simply happened.' There was a period of time where those small touches and looks between Ryoma and Tezuka meant nothing to either, but that period of time had already passed.

And Fuji was here to witness it all it.

"Echizen does like you."

At Tezuka's comment, Fuji only turned to give the bespectacled boy a painfully bright smile.

"I know that, Tezuka." The tensai watched quietly as Tezuka turned away. "But he likes you more."

Silence.

"Ahh..." Fuji gave a soft sigh, the smile on his face unwavering. "This is so tiring, Tezuka."

"It doesn't have to be."

The shorter boy then smiled, a little gentle and a little sad. "That's true. It doesn't have to be."

"Don't give up now."

"I'm not going to."

Tezuka watched the other quietly, knowing that Fuji wasn't speaking his mind at all. He was always difficult in that manner. Unwilling to let people help him, unwilling to let others see his weakness, unable to make himself become vulnerable before the people he loved, even...

"I really like him. Echizen..." The smiling tensai came to a stop, eyes closed with his usual smile fixed on his face. "He's just like you."

The taller boy watched the other from a little farther down the road they were on, a peculiar feeling fighting with weariness inside himself. He knew that Fuji was tired. Very tired, in fact. To keep smiling at everyone, to keep hiding himself from the world since he was young... it must have been a very tiring job. Tezuka never gave the tensai a chance to bare his heart. He knew that with him around, Fuji would never bare his heart to Ryoma either. Maybe it would be better if he-

"But," Fuji lifted his face, letting the passing breeze caress it. "He's also different from you."

Tezuka acknowledged what the other said with a barely discernable nod.

"I'm not giving up, Tezuka."

Fuji turned, so that he was facing the opposite direction of which Tezuka would be taking.

"I don't plan to give up at all." Pause. "But we already know the final outcome, don't we?"

The taller boy frowned, slightly. "It's still too early to tell."

"Maybe." Fuji glanced at his watch. He then glanced up and smiled, cheerful. "Ahh, I better get going. It's already late."

Tezuka nodded.

"Ja ne, Tezuka."

"Ja ne."

And the tensai left, waving a quick good bye before walking off, the smile on his face fleeting.


to be continued...

Date Completed: 190803
Date Revised: 130903