Author's Note: Anyone have chocolate cocoa? I've decided to leave the
coffee alone...Oh, yeah and when you see the (1) that means there is a foot-
note a the bottom of my fic.
ONE MORE THING! Pease do not tell me in you reviews that "Duo was out of character." Why not? Because Duo is drunk in this chapter as well!!!!
Disclaimer: GUNDAM WIN IS MINE!!! ALL MINE!! In my dreams anyway...I know, I know I DON'T own Gundam Wing *sigh* but I don't need you evil lawyers to rub it in...
Chapter 6: Milk Muffin's Counterattack
Have you ever had nightmares that you really wished you could wake up from? Well, I have those too – it's called my life. Once Quatre asked me why I like working alone – after looking at what a typical day for me is...well...I think you get the idea.
So here I was, walking down the quiet streets of Stockholm with two guns, hunting down a drunken maniac. I didn't have to go very far to hear the same pathetic singing I have grown accustomed to...
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I found Duo quickly enough, he was ATTEMPTING to make a snow-angel – except he was on his stomach and his arms were just flailing about. I had grabbed his braid and hauled him up as he started to flail his arms around and cry out, "Leave milk-muffin alone!" I merely arched an eyebrow as Duo continued to "cuddle" his braid and whisper incoherent things to it. Even though it was hard for me to get Duo back to a more-or-less calm status, it was the dragging him back to our house that exhausted me the most.
At this point he started babbling about rubbish that no normal human being could comprehend. Unlike last time, he found it funny to hit me on the head and yell "goose" whenever I told him to shut the hell up. I was going to shoot him but then the scary image of Quatre going insane (A/N: Episode 21, "Grief Stricken Quatre". The one where he starts laughing like a maniac and his eyes go all weird and wild-looking. O_o) flashed inside my head. I shook the idea out of my head as I continued to drag/carry Duo back to our house. Unfortunately, more times than once, Duo decided to either run off or he would hurl into the nearest bushes. He's gonna have one hell of a hangover in the morning...
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When I got back, everything was pretty much the same. Wufei and Trowa were fighting over the TV shows while Quatre was between them trying to keep the peace – and trying to keep them from each other's throats. Luckily, Quatre was the only Gundam Pilot that none of us would ever hit: Trowa doesn't really hit anybody, he just glares them to death. Wufei smacks Duo once in a while and comes pretty close to killing me and Trowa. Duo can't really hit anybody because usually he's too busy fighting off me and Wufei. And me? I'll punch Duo once in a while or spar with Wufei – no ones messes with clown boy, his kicks really hurt.
"I'M BACK!!" I yell to them – in this house you need to yell to be heard. Trowa and Wufei may LOOK quiet, but when you annoy them – they can get pretty nasty with words - and pretty loud, too. Trowa and Wufei stop bickering for a moment.
"That's nice," they tell me before going back to yelling at each other. I sigh and decide to interrupt their 'thrilling' conversation again.
"WHERE THE HELL DO I PUT THE MORON?" I ask both of them. Trowa and Wufei sigh, realizing that I'll probably interrupt them until I've had all my questions answered. Trowa looks at Duo for a while, who was at that moment pounding me on the back and yelling "lemme go!" over and over again while his legs kept going up and down.
"Tie him up," He tells me with a shrug of his shoulders.
"With WHAT?" I ask him – we don't have any rope...do we??
"We have the my-mission-failed-need-to-escape rope in the closet to the left of the bathroom," Trowa tells me with another shrug. That's new – we have rope in our towel closet – what's next? grenades in our underwear drawers? Wait, I do have grenades in my underwear drawer...
"And THEN what?" I ask him again – still thinking about the grenades in my underwear drawer.
"Tie him to the futon, a chair, ANYTHING!" Wufei tells me in annoyance. He starts to smirk. "Or better yet – tie him outside to the light post. That way we don't need to worry about all his singing or other sounds he chooses to make.
"Wufei! That would be inhumane!!" Quatre interjects.
"Wufei is right; we need to tie up Duo or he'll run off again." Trowa says with an agreeing nod.
"Alright, tie him somewhere upstairs in his room – but not TOO TIGHT." Quatre finally gives in. I nod and start to walk up the stairs while Duo keeps on pounding me on the back. Wufei and Trowa go back to their fighting while Quatre swallows five more Tylenol and continues to act as the peace- maker.
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By the time I got upstairs, Duo had suddenly quieted down. I really did not want to know why – nor did I care as long as he didn't move around while I tied him up. I threw him in his hammock and commenced tying him to it. All the while Duo was looking at me with big blue eyes wondering what I was doing. When I had finished tying Duo to his hammock, he looked like a big cocoon with only his face and his braid showing (everything else was rope) – this was definitely a Kodak moment – damn! Where did I put that damn camera?!' Come to think of it, he also looked like one of those Chinese eggrolls that Wufei seemed to be so fond of...
"Duo, no like!!! Duo no like!!!" Duo told me as he tried to move around and only succeeded in swing himself to and fro. His braid kept swishing back and forth as the eggroll – I mean Duo – tried to escape. Eventually his stupid braid smacked me in the face, leaving an enormous red mark across my face. I growled at Duo, but then I realized he's probably not paying attention to me anyway.
"Well, you're going to like it!" I told Duo as I smirked and went on my way, closing his door on my way out.
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I t had been some hours since I had left Duo up there on the hammock and I was beginning to enjoy the quietness, since Wufei and Trowa had finally decided on watching Wandering Samurai (A/N: Wandering Samurai = Rurouni Kenshin, ^_^).
"Don't you think we should check on him??" Quatre asked us. Wufei grunted, Trowa shrugged and I said "no." One minute passed.
"Guys, I think we really should...he may have run off again or something..."Quatre began again.
"There is NO way that he could have gotten out of those ropes." I tell Quatre with a frown. Wufei shook his head.
"Quatre may be right, you can never underestimate the powers of a drunken pilot." Wufei said with sarcasm.
"No, Wufei, I'm serious!!" Quatre said, now starting to frown.
"Fine, Heero go upstairs and check on Duo so that Quatre can watch TV peacefully." Trowa told me.
"Why do I have to??!! I'm tired of looking after that punk!" I tell Trowa.
"Because YOU tied him up so it's YOUR responsibility if he got away." Trowa told me calmly as glared at me again. I rolled my eyes to look at the ceiling – why me? I groaned and got up from my comfortable spot on the couch. I stomped up the stairs and opened the door to Duo's room.
"WHAT THE HELL!!" I yelled in my surprise. The ropes used to tie Duo were in the hammock with Duo nowhere to be seen. I groaned for about the fifth time today as I went to the banisters.
"Duo's gone. He somehow escaped...again." I yell down to the others. From my spot on the banisters I can see the others looking at each other.
"Alright, let's split up and search all the parts of the house. If necessary then we'll meet up again and decide how to search for him outside on the streets." Quatre orders us. Wufei sighs, Trowa nods and I – have you guessed it? – I groan...again.
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Duo's "search party" had lasted for over an hour. Last time he hid from us, he hid in all the places we already searched: on top of the fridge, the towel closet, in the fridge, under the bathroom sink, by the fridge, and under his bed – where else COULD he be?? We even searched under our beds and in our closets. Wait. No one had searched HIS closet. With my new found knowledge I walked up the stairs again toward his closet. I opened it and sure enough I found him in there. His hands were holding his head as if he were trying to hide from something other than us.
"Duo...?" I start to ask. He looked at me with big, shiny, scared purple eyes.
"Heero...I see dead people...." He tells me in a whisper. That's it – I'm NEVER letting Duo watch anymore horror movies – and "Sixth Sense" is DEFINETLY off the list. (A/N: In "The Sixth Sense" there is a little boy that whispers "I see dead people" and now that's a pretty popular quote. ^_^) I haul up Duo by his braid and then drag him toward the others.
"I found the idiot hiding in his closet and apparently he sees dead people." I tell the others. Trowa coughs (trying to cover up his laugh again), Wufei rolls his eyes and Quatre looks worried.
"I'm seriously starting to think that letting Duo watch horror movies is not such a good idea..." Quatre starts to say – which isn't surprising since Quatre refuses to ever watch one with the rest of us (actually, he's never seen a horror movie in his life.)
"No shit, Quatre" I tell him.
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Since leaving Duo in a room by himself – even if he's tied up – isn't such a good idea, we all decided to let him sit with us while we watched TV. All of a sudden Duo sees a cow and decides to indulge us by trying to imitate it.
"Duo, be quiet." Wufei tells Duo.
"Moo." Duo answered.
"Shut up."
"Moo???"
"I said 'SHUT UP'!"
"Moo!"
"SHUT UP!"
MOOOO!!!Moo-Cow!! Moo-Moo-Cow!! MOOMOOO!!!" Duo yells back at Wufei in Cowish. At this point Wufei is out of patience and decides to smack Duo over the head. Duo smacks him back.
"Violence is fun!!" Duo says as he hiccups again. At this point Wufei is starting to turn red with rage.
"Now, now..." Quatre begins. Duo sees Wufei turn red and gasps.
"No, no! You must not turn red for the enraged leprechaun will come after to claim your rain droplets before he makes you into a bench warmer!! The eggs must not tarnish the birds in the sky or Mr. Omelet shall come down and turn all the frogs into hamsters that will then invade the Earth with vast shrubbery bushes!!!" Duo says this with urgency as he starts to flail his arms around like a headless chicken.
"And exactly how does this happen, Duo." Trowa asks with a smirk. Duo frowns and then says.
"The density of a donut is measured by a² + b² = c², which in turn makes the world go 'round!" Duo answers Trowa with the utmost seriousness while Wufei is getting madder by the second.
"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!" Wufei yells at Duo, who runs behind the couch in his attempt to hide from Wufei. Wufei sighs again and continues to watch TV. About five minutes later, Duo goes upstairs.
"Duo, where are going?" Quatre asks Duo.
"I am blond, so I don't think of the effects of the jolly green blueberry man." Duo says before he crawls up the stairs – since he is unable to stand up. A few minutes later, Duo comes back with....post-it notes????? Duo starts putting post-it notes on everything – tables, chairs, remote control, the couch, Quarter's cheeks, Trowa's bangs, about five on Wufei's head and one on my shoulder.
"Duo what the HELL are you doing?" I ask Duo as I start to peel off the post-it note on my shoulder.
"The life of a goldfish is filled with post-it notes!! (1)" Duo says as he continues to cover everything with post-it notes.
"You truly ARE insane." Wufei says as he shakes his head. Duo turns around to Wufei.
"I do not suffer from insanity – I enjoy every minute of it!!" Duo says with his trademarked baka-smile as he continues to cover everything in post- it notes.
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Ding-Dong.
Silence.
DING-DONG
"Will someone please answer that?" Quatre politely asks us. More silence. Quatre sighs and starts to get up; I follow him because I'm curious as to who could possibly visit us at night. Duo, on the other hand, has stopped putting his post-it notes on everything and follows us to the door as Wufei and Trowa watch from their respectable couches, (since they have a good view of the door from the angle that they're sitting at). We open the door and –
"Heero! I wanted to see you!" exclaimed Relena as she came through our doorway. Now I'm definitely getting the feeling that she's stalking me...
"I'm pleased to see you, Miss Relena. But what are you doing here at this time of night?" Quatre politely asks. At this point, I'm starting to squirm – how could a mere civilian be able to effortlessly track down me, the renowned and feared pilot of the Wing Gundam?! How?! Luckily, before Relena says another word to me, Duo interjects.
"Hug the purrty lady!!" Duo says as he enthusiastically jumps from behind me an starts to hug Relena to death. Trowa coughs a few time (still trying to his laugh), Wufei starts to chuckle, I smirk and Quatre just plain looks uncomfortable about the whole situation.
"Duo...I don't think that you should be doing that...I mean..." Quatre nervously laughs.
"But Duo LOVES purrrty ladies!!" Duo says as he keeps hugging Relena and swinging her back and forth as he does so. Relena starts to look sick. Duo finally lets go of Relena as she stumbles backward.
"Uhh..." Relena groans, "Prehaps this isn't the best time to visit you, Heero..." Relena says as she starts to stumble back to her trademarked pink limo.
"Umm...Good evening, Miss Relena!! It was nice to see you!" Quatre nervously yells after Relena as she attempts to get into her pink limo. As soon as she drives off, Quatre shuts the door.
"Quatre, you're right. Perhaps Duo is useful after all!! I think I'll wait a few years before I give him to the mental institution!" I tell Quatre as I realize that Duo is EXTREMELY useful in using as a Relena-repellant.
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I sigh as I finally get to watch TV in complete silence. After the "Relena-incident" Quatre just shook his head as he realize it was pointless in trying to control Duo to act like a gentleman. Wufei and Trowa immediately broke out in laughter after Relena left and I actually joined them. And now all four of us were sitting on our respectable couches and watching TV in beautiful blissful silence...
CLINK
CRASH
We all simultaneously turn our heads toward the noise. At the moment Duo was rummaging through our pantry closet – apparently looking for something with utmost vigor.
"WHERE'S THE RUM GONE?!" Duo yelled as he continued to toss bottles and boxes of random thing over his shoulder.
"Umm...Duo? You drank it all last time..." Quatre answered him. Immediately, Duo stopped throwing stuff as he turned around to face Quatre.
"You...got...rid...of...the...rum...?" Duo started to ask Quatre.
"Well, no...You – "Quatre tried to explain to Duo until he was cut off.
"Why, Quatre? WHY?! WHY IS THE RUM GONE!!!" Duo said as he fell on his knees in utmost defeat.
"Duo...?" Quatre asked. Duo looked at Quatre as he answered.
"Let the bodies hit the floor..." THUMP "Well, we're never going to let him listen to BLANK again..." Wufei said as the rest of us sighed. Exactly how long did it take a very drunk someone to become sober again??
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DONG
DONG
The grandfather clock stuck midnight. It was time to put Cinderella – aka Duo – to bed. After many minutes of debate we finally decided that we should give him a sleeping shot. Meanwhile, Duo was busy telling Quatre all about the "flying-pizza-monkeys who wanted to play basketball but only succeeded in learning the chemistry of Trigonometry and decided to die by mummifying the chocolate-milk-shake" – or something like that.
Wufei went to Duo's left side while Trowa went to Duo's right side and I got the sleeping shots ready. Simultaneously, they all grabbed Duo in a strong hold. Meanwhile, Duo was kicking and screaming that we must let him go because "he is a strong wizard in the form of an orange and that if we did not let him go he would turn us into rum and drink us."
"Ok, I think we more or less have him under control." Trowa told me as he was almost kicked in the face by Duo.
"Quickly, Heero! Make the injection!" Wufei yelled at me. I took the syringe needle and went from behind Duo to avoid being kicked. I grabbed his left arm as Wufei helped hold it steady for me. I then gave Duo the shot. After a few seconds he finallt stopped kicking.
"Must...stop...the evil cucumbers...from...becoming cows and killing all the kittens..." Duo futilely tried to say as he fell asleep. We all sighed and relaxed.
"STOP THE RUBBER DUCKIES FROM INVADING POLAND!!!" Duo screamed suddenly before becoming quiet again an falling into a very deep sleep. Wufei slug Duo over his shoulder and carried him upstairs to his room. Trowa started to clean up all the post-it notes that Duo had left all over our living room, while Quatre and I went to clean up all the bottles and boxes that he threw all over the kitchen floor.
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After everything was cleaned up, the rest of us decided to throw in the towel and go to sleep. I finally entered my room and I tell you – I could never have been happier to see my beloved bed as I was at that moment. I didn't shower, brush my teeth, or even change my clothes. I just fell on the bed and with my head buried into the pillow, I made a visit to dream-land.
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RING-RING
"...what the...?" I asked as I rolled over. No – It can't be!! I looked on the nightstand...and sure enough...the damnable alarm clock I "thought" I had destroyed was perfectly in one piece sitting innocently on my nightstand and ringing its fucking head off. It was sort of like the evil-immortal- machine-that-would-never-die sort of thing. I heard a maniacal laughter coming from Duo's room as I realized that it was yet AGAIN time to start a new day...
~~~~~~OWARI ~~~~~~
*Ahem* That Means "The End" In Japanese.
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
Well, I hope that you enjoyed that chapter!! I actually like it a lot because I thought it was funny!! Wow, when I wrote the outline for this – I never actually thought I'd finish it!! ^_~ This is my first GW fanfic that I wrote and finished!! (Not counting the one my computer deleted a long time ago...)
(1): This is actually a quote that my best friend came up for my short-term memory!! ^_^ Yup, I'm a goldfish!! ^_^ Wait...why am I writing this??
NOTE: If you really like this fic and would like me to write a sequel to it, then drop me a line at Shinigami_Takegami@yahoo.com. Other than that – this fic is finished! Fini! Zdelena! You cannot have any more chapters to this fic in this life! Any other chapter to this fic has broken on through to the other side! ^_^
Author's Final Note: You reviewers are great!!! I really appreciate people who take time to read and write a review for my fic(s)!! Thank you guys a lot!! ^_^
ONE MORE THING! Pease do not tell me in you reviews that "Duo was out of character." Why not? Because Duo is drunk in this chapter as well!!!!
Disclaimer: GUNDAM WIN IS MINE!!! ALL MINE!! In my dreams anyway...I know, I know I DON'T own Gundam Wing *sigh* but I don't need you evil lawyers to rub it in...
Chapter 6: Milk Muffin's Counterattack
Have you ever had nightmares that you really wished you could wake up from? Well, I have those too – it's called my life. Once Quatre asked me why I like working alone – after looking at what a typical day for me is...well...I think you get the idea.
So here I was, walking down the quiet streets of Stockholm with two guns, hunting down a drunken maniac. I didn't have to go very far to hear the same pathetic singing I have grown accustomed to...
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I found Duo quickly enough, he was ATTEMPTING to make a snow-angel – except he was on his stomach and his arms were just flailing about. I had grabbed his braid and hauled him up as he started to flail his arms around and cry out, "Leave milk-muffin alone!" I merely arched an eyebrow as Duo continued to "cuddle" his braid and whisper incoherent things to it. Even though it was hard for me to get Duo back to a more-or-less calm status, it was the dragging him back to our house that exhausted me the most.
At this point he started babbling about rubbish that no normal human being could comprehend. Unlike last time, he found it funny to hit me on the head and yell "goose" whenever I told him to shut the hell up. I was going to shoot him but then the scary image of Quatre going insane (A/N: Episode 21, "Grief Stricken Quatre". The one where he starts laughing like a maniac and his eyes go all weird and wild-looking. O_o) flashed inside my head. I shook the idea out of my head as I continued to drag/carry Duo back to our house. Unfortunately, more times than once, Duo decided to either run off or he would hurl into the nearest bushes. He's gonna have one hell of a hangover in the morning...
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When I got back, everything was pretty much the same. Wufei and Trowa were fighting over the TV shows while Quatre was between them trying to keep the peace – and trying to keep them from each other's throats. Luckily, Quatre was the only Gundam Pilot that none of us would ever hit: Trowa doesn't really hit anybody, he just glares them to death. Wufei smacks Duo once in a while and comes pretty close to killing me and Trowa. Duo can't really hit anybody because usually he's too busy fighting off me and Wufei. And me? I'll punch Duo once in a while or spar with Wufei – no ones messes with clown boy, his kicks really hurt.
"I'M BACK!!" I yell to them – in this house you need to yell to be heard. Trowa and Wufei may LOOK quiet, but when you annoy them – they can get pretty nasty with words - and pretty loud, too. Trowa and Wufei stop bickering for a moment.
"That's nice," they tell me before going back to yelling at each other. I sigh and decide to interrupt their 'thrilling' conversation again.
"WHERE THE HELL DO I PUT THE MORON?" I ask both of them. Trowa and Wufei sigh, realizing that I'll probably interrupt them until I've had all my questions answered. Trowa looks at Duo for a while, who was at that moment pounding me on the back and yelling "lemme go!" over and over again while his legs kept going up and down.
"Tie him up," He tells me with a shrug of his shoulders.
"With WHAT?" I ask him – we don't have any rope...do we??
"We have the my-mission-failed-need-to-escape rope in the closet to the left of the bathroom," Trowa tells me with another shrug. That's new – we have rope in our towel closet – what's next? grenades in our underwear drawers? Wait, I do have grenades in my underwear drawer...
"And THEN what?" I ask him again – still thinking about the grenades in my underwear drawer.
"Tie him to the futon, a chair, ANYTHING!" Wufei tells me in annoyance. He starts to smirk. "Or better yet – tie him outside to the light post. That way we don't need to worry about all his singing or other sounds he chooses to make.
"Wufei! That would be inhumane!!" Quatre interjects.
"Wufei is right; we need to tie up Duo or he'll run off again." Trowa says with an agreeing nod.
"Alright, tie him somewhere upstairs in his room – but not TOO TIGHT." Quatre finally gives in. I nod and start to walk up the stairs while Duo keeps on pounding me on the back. Wufei and Trowa go back to their fighting while Quatre swallows five more Tylenol and continues to act as the peace- maker.
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By the time I got upstairs, Duo had suddenly quieted down. I really did not want to know why – nor did I care as long as he didn't move around while I tied him up. I threw him in his hammock and commenced tying him to it. All the while Duo was looking at me with big blue eyes wondering what I was doing. When I had finished tying Duo to his hammock, he looked like a big cocoon with only his face and his braid showing (everything else was rope) – this was definitely a Kodak moment – damn! Where did I put that damn camera?!' Come to think of it, he also looked like one of those Chinese eggrolls that Wufei seemed to be so fond of...
"Duo, no like!!! Duo no like!!!" Duo told me as he tried to move around and only succeeded in swing himself to and fro. His braid kept swishing back and forth as the eggroll – I mean Duo – tried to escape. Eventually his stupid braid smacked me in the face, leaving an enormous red mark across my face. I growled at Duo, but then I realized he's probably not paying attention to me anyway.
"Well, you're going to like it!" I told Duo as I smirked and went on my way, closing his door on my way out.
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I t had been some hours since I had left Duo up there on the hammock and I was beginning to enjoy the quietness, since Wufei and Trowa had finally decided on watching Wandering Samurai (A/N: Wandering Samurai = Rurouni Kenshin, ^_^).
"Don't you think we should check on him??" Quatre asked us. Wufei grunted, Trowa shrugged and I said "no." One minute passed.
"Guys, I think we really should...he may have run off again or something..."Quatre began again.
"There is NO way that he could have gotten out of those ropes." I tell Quatre with a frown. Wufei shook his head.
"Quatre may be right, you can never underestimate the powers of a drunken pilot." Wufei said with sarcasm.
"No, Wufei, I'm serious!!" Quatre said, now starting to frown.
"Fine, Heero go upstairs and check on Duo so that Quatre can watch TV peacefully." Trowa told me.
"Why do I have to??!! I'm tired of looking after that punk!" I tell Trowa.
"Because YOU tied him up so it's YOUR responsibility if he got away." Trowa told me calmly as glared at me again. I rolled my eyes to look at the ceiling – why me? I groaned and got up from my comfortable spot on the couch. I stomped up the stairs and opened the door to Duo's room.
"WHAT THE HELL!!" I yelled in my surprise. The ropes used to tie Duo were in the hammock with Duo nowhere to be seen. I groaned for about the fifth time today as I went to the banisters.
"Duo's gone. He somehow escaped...again." I yell down to the others. From my spot on the banisters I can see the others looking at each other.
"Alright, let's split up and search all the parts of the house. If necessary then we'll meet up again and decide how to search for him outside on the streets." Quatre orders us. Wufei sighs, Trowa nods and I – have you guessed it? – I groan...again.
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Duo's "search party" had lasted for over an hour. Last time he hid from us, he hid in all the places we already searched: on top of the fridge, the towel closet, in the fridge, under the bathroom sink, by the fridge, and under his bed – where else COULD he be?? We even searched under our beds and in our closets. Wait. No one had searched HIS closet. With my new found knowledge I walked up the stairs again toward his closet. I opened it and sure enough I found him in there. His hands were holding his head as if he were trying to hide from something other than us.
"Duo...?" I start to ask. He looked at me with big, shiny, scared purple eyes.
"Heero...I see dead people...." He tells me in a whisper. That's it – I'm NEVER letting Duo watch anymore horror movies – and "Sixth Sense" is DEFINETLY off the list. (A/N: In "The Sixth Sense" there is a little boy that whispers "I see dead people" and now that's a pretty popular quote. ^_^) I haul up Duo by his braid and then drag him toward the others.
"I found the idiot hiding in his closet and apparently he sees dead people." I tell the others. Trowa coughs (trying to cover up his laugh again), Wufei rolls his eyes and Quatre looks worried.
"I'm seriously starting to think that letting Duo watch horror movies is not such a good idea..." Quatre starts to say – which isn't surprising since Quatre refuses to ever watch one with the rest of us (actually, he's never seen a horror movie in his life.)
"No shit, Quatre" I tell him.
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Since leaving Duo in a room by himself – even if he's tied up – isn't such a good idea, we all decided to let him sit with us while we watched TV. All of a sudden Duo sees a cow and decides to indulge us by trying to imitate it.
"Duo, be quiet." Wufei tells Duo.
"Moo." Duo answered.
"Shut up."
"Moo???"
"I said 'SHUT UP'!"
"Moo!"
"SHUT UP!"
MOOOO!!!Moo-Cow!! Moo-Moo-Cow!! MOOMOOO!!!" Duo yells back at Wufei in Cowish. At this point Wufei is out of patience and decides to smack Duo over the head. Duo smacks him back.
"Violence is fun!!" Duo says as he hiccups again. At this point Wufei is starting to turn red with rage.
"Now, now..." Quatre begins. Duo sees Wufei turn red and gasps.
"No, no! You must not turn red for the enraged leprechaun will come after to claim your rain droplets before he makes you into a bench warmer!! The eggs must not tarnish the birds in the sky or Mr. Omelet shall come down and turn all the frogs into hamsters that will then invade the Earth with vast shrubbery bushes!!!" Duo says this with urgency as he starts to flail his arms around like a headless chicken.
"And exactly how does this happen, Duo." Trowa asks with a smirk. Duo frowns and then says.
"The density of a donut is measured by a² + b² = c², which in turn makes the world go 'round!" Duo answers Trowa with the utmost seriousness while Wufei is getting madder by the second.
"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!" Wufei yells at Duo, who runs behind the couch in his attempt to hide from Wufei. Wufei sighs again and continues to watch TV. About five minutes later, Duo goes upstairs.
"Duo, where are going?" Quatre asks Duo.
"I am blond, so I don't think of the effects of the jolly green blueberry man." Duo says before he crawls up the stairs – since he is unable to stand up. A few minutes later, Duo comes back with....post-it notes????? Duo starts putting post-it notes on everything – tables, chairs, remote control, the couch, Quarter's cheeks, Trowa's bangs, about five on Wufei's head and one on my shoulder.
"Duo what the HELL are you doing?" I ask Duo as I start to peel off the post-it note on my shoulder.
"The life of a goldfish is filled with post-it notes!! (1)" Duo says as he continues to cover everything with post-it notes.
"You truly ARE insane." Wufei says as he shakes his head. Duo turns around to Wufei.
"I do not suffer from insanity – I enjoy every minute of it!!" Duo says with his trademarked baka-smile as he continues to cover everything in post- it notes.
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Ding-Dong.
Silence.
DING-DONG
"Will someone please answer that?" Quatre politely asks us. More silence. Quatre sighs and starts to get up; I follow him because I'm curious as to who could possibly visit us at night. Duo, on the other hand, has stopped putting his post-it notes on everything and follows us to the door as Wufei and Trowa watch from their respectable couches, (since they have a good view of the door from the angle that they're sitting at). We open the door and –
"Heero! I wanted to see you!" exclaimed Relena as she came through our doorway. Now I'm definitely getting the feeling that she's stalking me...
"I'm pleased to see you, Miss Relena. But what are you doing here at this time of night?" Quatre politely asks. At this point, I'm starting to squirm – how could a mere civilian be able to effortlessly track down me, the renowned and feared pilot of the Wing Gundam?! How?! Luckily, before Relena says another word to me, Duo interjects.
"Hug the purrty lady!!" Duo says as he enthusiastically jumps from behind me an starts to hug Relena to death. Trowa coughs a few time (still trying to his laugh), Wufei starts to chuckle, I smirk and Quatre just plain looks uncomfortable about the whole situation.
"Duo...I don't think that you should be doing that...I mean..." Quatre nervously laughs.
"But Duo LOVES purrrty ladies!!" Duo says as he keeps hugging Relena and swinging her back and forth as he does so. Relena starts to look sick. Duo finally lets go of Relena as she stumbles backward.
"Uhh..." Relena groans, "Prehaps this isn't the best time to visit you, Heero..." Relena says as she starts to stumble back to her trademarked pink limo.
"Umm...Good evening, Miss Relena!! It was nice to see you!" Quatre nervously yells after Relena as she attempts to get into her pink limo. As soon as she drives off, Quatre shuts the door.
"Quatre, you're right. Perhaps Duo is useful after all!! I think I'll wait a few years before I give him to the mental institution!" I tell Quatre as I realize that Duo is EXTREMELY useful in using as a Relena-repellant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sigh as I finally get to watch TV in complete silence. After the "Relena-incident" Quatre just shook his head as he realize it was pointless in trying to control Duo to act like a gentleman. Wufei and Trowa immediately broke out in laughter after Relena left and I actually joined them. And now all four of us were sitting on our respectable couches and watching TV in beautiful blissful silence...
CLINK
CRASH
We all simultaneously turn our heads toward the noise. At the moment Duo was rummaging through our pantry closet – apparently looking for something with utmost vigor.
"WHERE'S THE RUM GONE?!" Duo yelled as he continued to toss bottles and boxes of random thing over his shoulder.
"Umm...Duo? You drank it all last time..." Quatre answered him. Immediately, Duo stopped throwing stuff as he turned around to face Quatre.
"You...got...rid...of...the...rum...?" Duo started to ask Quatre.
"Well, no...You – "Quatre tried to explain to Duo until he was cut off.
"Why, Quatre? WHY?! WHY IS THE RUM GONE!!!" Duo said as he fell on his knees in utmost defeat.
"Duo...?" Quatre asked. Duo looked at Quatre as he answered.
"Let the bodies hit the floor..." THUMP "Well, we're never going to let him listen to BLANK again..." Wufei said as the rest of us sighed. Exactly how long did it take a very drunk someone to become sober again??
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DONG
DONG
The grandfather clock stuck midnight. It was time to put Cinderella – aka Duo – to bed. After many minutes of debate we finally decided that we should give him a sleeping shot. Meanwhile, Duo was busy telling Quatre all about the "flying-pizza-monkeys who wanted to play basketball but only succeeded in learning the chemistry of Trigonometry and decided to die by mummifying the chocolate-milk-shake" – or something like that.
Wufei went to Duo's left side while Trowa went to Duo's right side and I got the sleeping shots ready. Simultaneously, they all grabbed Duo in a strong hold. Meanwhile, Duo was kicking and screaming that we must let him go because "he is a strong wizard in the form of an orange and that if we did not let him go he would turn us into rum and drink us."
"Ok, I think we more or less have him under control." Trowa told me as he was almost kicked in the face by Duo.
"Quickly, Heero! Make the injection!" Wufei yelled at me. I took the syringe needle and went from behind Duo to avoid being kicked. I grabbed his left arm as Wufei helped hold it steady for me. I then gave Duo the shot. After a few seconds he finallt stopped kicking.
"Must...stop...the evil cucumbers...from...becoming cows and killing all the kittens..." Duo futilely tried to say as he fell asleep. We all sighed and relaxed.
"STOP THE RUBBER DUCKIES FROM INVADING POLAND!!!" Duo screamed suddenly before becoming quiet again an falling into a very deep sleep. Wufei slug Duo over his shoulder and carried him upstairs to his room. Trowa started to clean up all the post-it notes that Duo had left all over our living room, while Quatre and I went to clean up all the bottles and boxes that he threw all over the kitchen floor.
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After everything was cleaned up, the rest of us decided to throw in the towel and go to sleep. I finally entered my room and I tell you – I could never have been happier to see my beloved bed as I was at that moment. I didn't shower, brush my teeth, or even change my clothes. I just fell on the bed and with my head buried into the pillow, I made a visit to dream-land.
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RING-RING
"...what the...?" I asked as I rolled over. No – It can't be!! I looked on the nightstand...and sure enough...the damnable alarm clock I "thought" I had destroyed was perfectly in one piece sitting innocently on my nightstand and ringing its fucking head off. It was sort of like the evil-immortal- machine-that-would-never-die sort of thing. I heard a maniacal laughter coming from Duo's room as I realized that it was yet AGAIN time to start a new day...
~~~~~~OWARI ~~~~~~
*Ahem* That Means "The End" In Japanese.
^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^_^
Well, I hope that you enjoyed that chapter!! I actually like it a lot because I thought it was funny!! Wow, when I wrote the outline for this – I never actually thought I'd finish it!! ^_~ This is my first GW fanfic that I wrote and finished!! (Not counting the one my computer deleted a long time ago...)
(1): This is actually a quote that my best friend came up for my short-term memory!! ^_^ Yup, I'm a goldfish!! ^_^ Wait...why am I writing this??
NOTE: If you really like this fic and would like me to write a sequel to it, then drop me a line at Shinigami_Takegami@yahoo.com. Other than that – this fic is finished! Fini! Zdelena! You cannot have any more chapters to this fic in this life! Any other chapter to this fic has broken on through to the other side! ^_^
Author's Final Note: You reviewers are great!!! I really appreciate people who take time to read and write a review for my fic(s)!! Thank you guys a lot!! ^_^