Standard Warning and Disclaimer applies.
Date Started: 290803
-----
Confessions
by
Jennifier D.
-----
To love, is to show the greatest courage of all.
-----
08:
'Click. Click. Click.'
Ryoma glanced over, long used to the sound of cameras clicking as photographers took snapshots of him during matches. Usually, he ignored them. If he was that easily distracted by someone who was taking pictures at the side of the court, he might as well not play. But today, regardless of how hard he tried, he found himself drawn to the person taking the pictures, and the soft clicking sounds the camera made as its shutter opened and closed to capture pictures on film.
There were reasons why he was distracted today.
'Click. Click. Click.'
Boy wonder glanced over again, feeling mildly irritated with himself.
"Echizen."
The younger boy could hear faint undertones of warning in Tezuka's voice. He cringed a little out of habit, too used to having the former captain make him run laps for being careless.
'Click. Click. Click.'
Unable to tolerate it anymore, Ryoma finally turned to glare at Fuji, who was sporting the most innocent look he had seen on the other's face yet. The camera in the fair-haired boy's hands continued clicking away as he took pictures of Ryoma and Tezuka both.
"Oi, Fuji-senpai."
Fuji tilted his head to one side. "Hm?"
"Can you put that thing away?"
"Ehh? What's wrong with it?"
Ryoma glowered at Fuji in what he thought was the most unfriendly manner possible. "It's annoying."
The tensai gave him a (mock) surprised look in return. "It is? But Shiba-san took pictures of you all the time..."
"It's not the same."
"Not the same?" At this, Fuji chuckled. "Ohh... am _I_ the one distracting you instead? Saa, I've always thought that my camera skills are perfectly unobtrusive..."
Before Ryoma could bite back a reply, Tezuka's steady voice travelled across the court to reach both prodigies.
"Never get distracted by the audience when you're having a match, Echizen."
There was a brief moment of sullen silence from Ryoma before he spoke up almost stubbornly. "I know."
Tezuka didn't bother to follow up with a comment and the both of them continued playing their game, boy wonder sporting a dark look for the rest of the set.
If Ryoma claimed that he was annoyed with Fuji, that would have been the understatement of the year.
He pretty much ignored the tensai for most of the day, and only decided to speak to him again when they were on their way home. Tezuka was quiet, just like his usual self. Ryoma didn't mind, though. Sometimes, he got so little peace from his baka oyaji at home, any moment of silence without annoying people harassing him was treasured.
Ryoma noticed that Fuji seemed to lag behind the both of them a little, an unfamiliar expressionless look on his face. He dropped his pace until he was walking beside Fuji, then tilted his head to one side and watched his senpai with quietly curious eyes. The tensai seemed to notice this, and tilted his head too in reply, a faint smile quirking at the corners of his lips.
"Are you alright?"
The smile on Fuji's face deepened. "Maa, I should be the one asking you that question. So... are you alright?"
The younger boy shrugged. "Iisuyo."
The both of them continued walking in silence. Tezuka excused himself at the nearest train station, which left them alone as they slowly walked home. There was more silence during their journey, Fuji appearing to be unusually quiet and withdrawn.
Ryoma was concerned.
Given his current situation, one would think that he already had more than enough to worry about for himself. Where would he find the time and energy to go around being concerned about others? He wasn't Oishi and he certainly didn't have the luxury or time to worry about people who didn't need his worry.
After both Fuji and Tezuka started going on the offensive, Ryoma got a little annoyed at the fact that he seemed to be the only one who had no control whatsoever over the situation. He wasn't happy with that arrangement. Wanted to do something about it, even. But when he nailed Oishi down, there were only inconclusive statements from the former vice-captain about how Tezuka and Fuji were close before they started chasing him.
He recalled a conversation he had with Tezuka a couple of weeks back. Apparently, Fuji discovered their history of dating during their first official date. The leakage did put a damper on things for the both of them, (or for Ryoma, at least,) and he found himself strangely disturbed and upset over Fuji finding out the truth.
He knew that there was no way either of them could conceal the truth from Fuji for forever. But they hadn't intended for the tensai to find out so quickly, and in such a brutal manner too. Ryoma didn't like hurting other people... well, actually he wouldn't mind hurting egotistical idiots. Although Fuji could be incredibly annoying when he wanted to be, there was no reason for him to be subjected to... that.
As the both of them neared Ryoma's neighbourhood, the younger boy recalled something he had wanted to ask Fuji for a long time.
"Ne Fuji-senpai..."
The tensai paused and turned to give Ryoma a familiar smile. "Hm?"
The pressing issue which had been bothering Ryoma... Oishi seemed rather reluctant to tell him what happened when he questioned the mild-mannered boy. Therefore, something must have happened between Tezuka and Fuji to make their relationship turn warped.
Furthermore, it was payback time for the two older boys.
"Do you like Tezuka-buchou?"
There was an almost unnoticeable pause.
"Maa, of course. He's my friend."
Ryoma frowned, a little. "No. I mean- do you like Tezuka-buchou? Do you like him in the same way you like me?"
The smile on Fuji's face seemed almost frozen.
Boy wonder didn't manage to get an answer out of his senpai. He wasn't really trying to be difficult by asking Fuji such questions, but he wanted to have a clearer picture of the situation before making any decisions.
Frankly speaking, after Sakuno asked about who he would choose, he began to wonder too, about his eventual decision. Of course, it was still too early to tell, but... Ryoma wanted to make a decision soon. It was dragging out longer than he thought, and things between the three of them were beginning to get complicated and painful. He didn't want that. He didn't want complicated relationships.
That was why, if there was a simpler way out of this, Ryoma would take it without a second thought.
Fuji wouldn't be the only one facing those questions, though. Tezuka would have to face them too, sooner or later. But since Fuji was here, it had only seemed convenient to ask the tensai now. Who knew when he would have a chance to get the truth out of the enigmatic boy again?
"Saa."
The two boys stood hidden behind the wall connected to the gate leading into Ryoma's house. Boy wonder glanced at Fuji from underneath his cap, curious. What did the tensai want to do? They had reached his home, and it was early enough in the day that other than his cousin and Karupin, nobody else would be home. His mother was still at work and his father was most probably at the temple reading one of his echi photo books.
"I'll see you next week, then?"
Ryoma stared at Fuji, unable to comprehend the other's nonchalant behaviour. He shrugged.
"Iisuyo."
"So, I'll tell Tezuka-"
"Yada."
Pause.
"Hm?"
"Stop pretending that nothing's wrong, Fuji-senpai."
Fuji smiled. "You mean something is wrong?"
"Liar."
Once again, Ryoma watched the smile on Fuji's face freeze as the tensai contemplated on how to react.
Ryoma could feel a part of himself slowly warming to anger as he watched the older boy attempt to shrug off the issue like it didn't matter. If Fuji really wanted him so much, why was he behaving in this manner? It was irking Ryoma to no end. He always believed that if one wanted something, one should simply reach for it and damn all consequences to hell.
If Fuji couldn't even be honest with his own feelings, how could he expect Ryoma to trust him... to trust that he was honest in conveying his feelings to Ryoma?
As he watched Fuji, boy wonder was reminded rather acutely of the reason behind why he always disliked relationships on the whole.
There were too many hassles. Everyone started acting wishy-washy the moment complications showed up, and then all parties involved seemed inclined to back down. Nobody wanted to reach forward and fight for what he desired. If Ryoma was Fuji and if the both of them were competing for Tezuka, boy wonder would have been fighting rather aggressively, regardless of all consequences.
Never give up. Never back down. Never feel sorry for oneself.
"Do you really like me, Fuji-senpai?"
"Of course."
"Then show me."
All Ryoma saw was the briefest instance of sharp blue flashing, before he found himself backed up against the wall behind while being thoroughly kissed by the tensai. It was dizzying; the sudden kiss and the sensation of being pressed up against a wall... Not only was it unfamiliar, it had sparked something intensely territorial in Ryoma and he struggled against Fuji, the urge to slam the older boy against the wall instead rising sharply within himself.
People often remarked that Ryoma had a 'seme' tennis playing style.
Fuji was only beginning to discover that Ryoma's dominant nature didn't just extend to his tennis abilities.
It extended to practically everything.
-----
One interesting thing about Ryoma- something which Tezuka was sure not many people knew -would be the other's competitive nature. That, and the fact that boy wonder was a very bright boy. One didn't have to show him the full picture to make him understand. One simply had to give him the least subtle of hints... and he would catch on straightaway. He would catch up so quickly, he often left people amazed at his ability to adapt.
That was why... instead of being surprised, astounded, bewildered or confused over Fuji and Tezuka's apparent fight for him, he took in everything with the same deceptive guile he used when playing tennis against unfamiliar opponents. Now, instead of rejecting his two senpai in a manner violent enough to be worthy of Kaidoh's pride, he was encouraging them in the worst manner possible.
He was working them to his advantage. Although Tezuka couldn't say he agreed with Ryoma's method of eliminating choices, he was glad to find the younger boy sharp enough to pick up the situation and make use of it without a single glitch, at least.
Ryoma must have weighed out the pros and cons of the situation before attempting anything. Boy wonder knew that if he managed to keep either of his senpai, he would have someone to watch over and train against him in tennis constantly. Furthermore, there was also the bonus of a few other benefits. Like dates where he didn't have to pay, for example.
Fortunately (or unfortunately,) all of them were equipped with competitive streaks miles wide, so there would never be a dull moment between them.
That might explain the reason behind why Ryoma was watching him curiously with a glint in his eyes, one that spoke volumes about the scheming going on in the younger boy's head. Sometimes, Tezuka couldn't help wondering why he bothered to make the effort, even.
Ryoma was devious to the point of infuriation. Once he had a good grasp of the situation, once he knew what was going on and the moment he knew he could manipulate things to his liking... It could only be described as the one way trip to hell. Honestly speaking, Ryoma probably never noticed the effect he had on other people. But Tezuka, like Fuji, happened to notice it rather acutely.
"Ne buchou."
Tezuka nodded, waiting for the bomb to drop.
"Do you like Fuji-senpai? In the same way you like me?"
There was a pause as Tezuka's brains fought to answer the unanticipated question.
"Hm."
Ryoma shrugged. "I shall take that as a yes, then."
Tezuka only stared at him.
Boy wonder sat down on the bench beside Tezuka, nonchalantly placing his tennis racket aside. They had just finished a game a few minutes ago. Tezuka won, of course, but Ryoma had long since gotten used to that. With each session they played against each other, Ryoma got better and better. The bespectacled boy knew that soon enough, Ryoma would to be good enough to defeat him and move on to the professional league.
"Fuji-senpai is in denial."
"Hm."
Ryoma blinked. "You knew."
"Yes."
"Heki na..."
The older boy only watched the other in silence, waiting for him to say what was on his mind.
"Do you mind sharing?"
Pause.
Tezuka stared at the younger boy. "What?"
"Sharing. Things. Like, sharing a drink."
The look on Ryoma's face told Tezuka things were not as simple as something like a drink.
"No, I wouldn't."
Ryoma nodded. "Heh..."
"What do you want to ask, Echizen?"
The older boy watched as Ryoma fiddled with the hem of his shorts in an unfamiliar and absentminded gesture. "I don't like relationships."
He had expected that answer.
"But..." Ryoma blinked, then shrugged. "I guess I'll have to face them sooner or later, anyway."
That had been a confession he didn't expect, though.
"I like you, Tezuka-buchou."
"Hm."
Ryoma hardly ever got nervous around anybody. In fact, the younger boy was practically fearless. He was never afraid to embrace new things and he fought constantly to stay on top. Relationship problems seemed like a roadblock he couldn't handle, but Ryoma managed to overcome them and he did so in a surprisingly mature manner too.
"But I like Fuji-senpai too."
Tezuka knew that. Since a long time ago, in fact. From the moment Ryoma started noticing Fuji as the latter watched him, the signs where already there, stark and inevitable. It was almost impossible to stop them from being drawn towards each other, the silver of attraction spanning between them growing stronger by the day. There was a 'power calls to power, strength calls to strength' theory going around, but Tezuka believed it had more to do with their personalities.
Ryoma was stubborn. So was Fuji. As for himself... it would be the same.
While they fought against each other in tennis, there was something else-- something unnamed drawing them closer and closer in an intricate and strange manner. There was want. Desire. Anticipation, and a confusing mix of fear and confidence. Tezuka might have been the one to initiate things between Ryoma and himself, but the events following that had certainly picked up fast enough on their own.
He understood why Fuji needed Ryoma. He needed Ryoma too. The reason behind that had been something he never wanted to talk about, because the truth hurt more than it was supposed to. He wanted Ryoma, because he failed to establish the connection he needed with Fuji. He wanted the younger boy, because the other had the confidence and bravery to push forward when all he could offer was silence. Ryoma had no regrets. No fear. No hesitation. Unlike Tezuka.
He wanted a lot of things in life, actually. But sometimes, just sometimes, he didn't think he could push forward the way Ryoma did. He didn't want to. It was just like how the older a person got, the harder it would be for him or her to learn how to ride a bicycle. The fear of falling, the uncertainty of success... and the offended sensibilities from knowing how one was unable to perform such a simple act. All these totalled up to hesitation and fear, something which Tezuka didn't want.
Ryoma was someone they had been waiting for.
"I'm sure he knows."
The younger boy shrugged again. "Maybe."
"Give him some time."
"Is that's your opinion, buchou?"
"Hm."
Boy wonder pulled off his cap in a casual motion, knowing and ignoring the ungainly sight of his flattened hair. The younger boy gazed up at Tezuka quietly. There was something searching about the way he stared at the other-- something in his eyes that sought affirmation.
"You like me."
It wasn't even a question.
Tezuka nodded.
Boy wonder blinked, almost guilelessly. "How much?"
"Hm?"
"I know you like me... but exactly how much do you like me, Tezuka-buchou?"
Ryoma seemed intent on asking cutting questions today. There was a strange new challenge present in Ryoma's eyes. As Tezuka observed the other in silence, he suddenly realised what the younger boy had done the other day. Maybe that was the reason why Fuji refused to talk to him since. He knew that their annoying brat liked forcing people up walls, but it didn't hit him until a moment ago... what the whole conversation between them actually meant.
It seemed as though Fuji had received a surprise attack the other day.
Tezuka glanced over. "Do you want me to show you?"
The replying smirk on Ryoma's face was definitely devious.
"Onegai shimasu."
to be continued...
Date Completed: 290803
Date Revised: 101003