Chapter Three: The Exorcism (Pre-trial)
ONE MONTH LATER
(*Denotes a line written by Diane English for the episode "Bob and Murphy, Ted and Avery", which was cut from broadcast.)
Murphy walked into Phil's. It was the first time she had been there since the FYI farewell party. Not only did it look great, it smelled great. The smell was nicotine and beer. The look was smoke in greens and browns. She had forgotten how much she could miss the place because of all it reminded her of. Murphy was grinning from ear to ear. She spotted Frank, at their usual table, in the center of the thick. It was lunchtime and Phil's was packed. Everyone in Washington always seemed to have his or her lunch around the same time. It was only twelve-thirty which meant it would die down just around two p.m. before starting up again at three. The only time that Phil's was ever, at what other bars would call normal, was around ten p.m. That was all on weekdays and weekends were a different story. But since it was Monday it all applied.
Her day with Frank was set up on the phone the night before as follows. She and Frank would have a nice long lunch and catch up. With no real work commitments they could take all the time they needed. Well, just up until two p.m., when Murphy had a brief meeting with Stan Lansing, the head of the network. It worked out perfectly because Frank also had a meeting at two-thirty with the producer for Frank's new project. Then they would meet later at a basketball game in town. What the "FRANK FONTANA PROJECT was going to be Murphy didn't know. All she knew was when Frank left for his honeymoon he had a deal for development. He didn't say much on the phone, but then neither had Murphy. They both were keeping it for their private lunch in person.
Under all these circumstances Murphy would have picked Phil's during its slow time, so they could sit in a private booth and talk for hours without all the noise and annoyances, but this time it served a purpose. Murphy wanted a very public place to tell Frank about her and Jerry. And Phil's at lunchtime was the perfect public place. This way Frank wouldn't get too upset and then they would forget about it at the game later that night.
Murphy made her way through the crowd. Frank noticed her as she reached the table and jumped up with enthusiasm. The two old friends gave each other a huge hug. Both were ecstatic to see each other. They exchanged "how have you beens" and "you look greats" and sat down.
"Marriage really agrees with you, Frank." Murphy meant it, but since she wasn't good at pleasantries it come out with hesitation. She slide her purse on the back of her chair.
"Thanks." He looked a bit embarrassed.
"You look great yourself. I mean, you really do!"
"I do?"
"Sure, Murphy? Why?"
"No reason." Murphy shook the comment off, but it was true, she did look good. It was one of those things one couldn't put their finger on. It was an aura, a presence. Frank even thought about it himself. Was it the clothes, the shoes, or the fact that her hair had grown out to almost her shoulders, complete with small layers that made her entire face look younger. Again, it could have been a lot of things.
"Is Avery back from camp?" Frank began to dig a little.
"Tomorrow." She paused for a moment to think of her next thought. "So, how was Europe, Frank?" Murphy slapped her best friend's arm.
"Well, we didn't see much of it, I have to say." Frank looked very proud of himself. "We did take some pictures of what we saw." Frank reached beside himself and threw a small photo album on the table. He lifted his head and looked at Murphy's face. "You don't want to see pictures do you, Murphy?" He laughed and leaned back up in his chair.
"Not really, Frank." Frank began to play with the photo album. "I'm here to see you." She took Frank's hand, which caused him to stop fidgeting with the album. "I'm here to see my best pal. My bud." She looked down and then up again. Frank could tell she wanted to say something and he waited for it. "There's something I want to tell you, Frank."
"It's not bad news is it?"
"No, Frank."
"Is Avery..."
"Fine, Frank…" Murphy began her rehearsed speak. "You see, Frank, there..."
"Oh my god..."Frank put his hand to his month
"No, Frank, it's not that. I'm fine. I have been for three years now."
"Well, thank. God. For that." He smiled at Murphy and rubbed her hand. "I don't think I could take any more surprises like that today." Frank turned his head and tried to get a waiter's attention.
"Surprises?"
Frank looked back at Murphy. "Lesley may be having twins!" Frank sounded unaffected by the remark, but he was hiding it as best as Frank could. He looked like he was in his own state of denial on the subject. If the state had a name it would have been called Texas, but as usual it didn't last long.
"Twins!" Murphy was agog.
"Yeah!" Frank collapsed his head and arms on the table like a rag doll. Time called ten point eight seconds: a new record.
"Ah, Frank. Congratulations?" Murphy tried to find more words of comfort, or some sort of congratulatory remarks, only she wasn't sure which would be appropriate.
"Hey there, you two," a gravelly voice filled the air.
Murphy looked up to see Phil himself standing behind Frank.
"Phil!" Murphy's eyes shot out.
"Phil?" Frank sprung up and looked behind him.
"Phil, you're back!" Murphy and Frank spoke in unison.
"Yeah. Old Phil is back."
Frank twisted his head in order to speak to Phil. "When the truth came out about Monica and Bill and we didn't hear from you we got worried."
"Well, it was felt by the powers that be that we wait until Clinton was out of office. If you know what I mean." Phil winked at Frank and Murphy. They smiled back and looked at each other strangely. "So, what can I get you two?" Phil looked down at his pad.
Murphy and Frank looked at Phil dumbfounded for a few seconds until they were interrupted by a beeping sound. Murphy, Frank, and Phil all looked around to see if it was their beeper or phone sounding.
"It's me." Frank jumped up and turned off his beeper.
"Thank god!" Phil leaned back and held his heart in relief. "I thought I was going to have to go back to the safe house again."
"I'll be right back. It's Lesley." Frank pushed his chair in and turned to Phil. "I'll have my usual hamburger, Phil." He patted Phil on the back. "It's good to see you, Phil."
"You too, Frank." Frank smiled at Phil and walked to the back to use the phone. Phil watched him disappear into the crowd and then looked back at Murphy. "So, what will it be, Murphy?"
"Well, PHIL. I think I'll..."
"You're in love aren't you?" He stared at her intently.
"What? No. I...Ha! Whatever would give..." Murphy picked up her menu to cover her face.
"Oh, come on, Murphy, this is Phil you're taking to." He peeled the menu away from Murphy's face. Phil looked at Murphy with that wily look in his eye. "You're shtuping Jerry Gold again, aren't you, Murphy?"
Murphy's face seemed to scrunch inside itself. She leaned in and whispered to Phil, "Phil, you can't tell me you've been in town for one day and you know that already."
"Two actually." Phil leaned in closer to Murphy. "And it's written all over your face. Even if I weren't Phil, I'd still know it. And it only took me half a day." He smiled slyly. "Remember, I'm Phil." He stuck his thumb in his chest.
"How'd you find out?" Murphy's voice sank into her lowest register.
"One never reveals one source, Murphy." Phil smiled and leaned back. "Let's just say it's about time you got those curtains up in your living room." He grinned.
"Ah, Jeez." Murphy brought her hand to her forehead and lowered her head in embarrassment.
"Well, it's official!" Frank came up behind Phil.
"What's official, Frank?" Murphy closed her menu and tried to pretend everything was normal.
"I'm having twins." Frank sank into his seat.
"Congratulations, Frank!" Phil's voice raised an octave in cheeriness.
"Thanks, Phil." Frank was in a state of shock. (Again.)
"Children are a blessing, Frank. Be happy. You're getting two great blessings. In fact, your meal's on me." He slapped Frank on the back causing him to jump. "What will it be, Murphy?"
"All of a sudden I'm not so hungry." She gave Phil a look and handed him the menu. "I'll just have a grill cheese and fries."
"Phil, you don't have to go and buy my meal." Frank gestured with his hand.
Phil came up next to Frank and whispered in his ear. "It's ok, Frank. Think of it as a nice break in a long road of tough breaks ahead." Phil smirked and walked away chuckling loudly.
Frank sat down collapsed on the table again.
Murphy tried to cheer Frank up. "It's ok Frank. Think about it this way. You'll never lose anything because you'll always have two." Murphy squeezed her nose and eyes in confusion. "I mean, if you ever lose anything you'll always have another to compare it to." Her face contorted the same way again. "I mean, I mean. I'm sorry, Frank, nothing witty or profound is coming to mind."
"Ah. That's ok, Murph." Frank lifted his head and looked at Murphy. "I'm sorry, Murphy. Here I am wallowing in my own fears and you wanted to tell me something important."
"Yes." She took a gulp. Murphy paused for a moment to get her moxie going again before speaking. "Well, Frank, there comes a time in a person's life." Murphy took another gulp and opened her mouth again to speak. Just as did Frank caught a notice of someone out of corner of his eye.
"Corky's, here!" Frank burst up towards the door leaving Murphy not only in mid-sentence, but with an annoyed look on her face.
"So close," she muttered to herself, still looking at Frank's empty chair.
"Oh my god, it's Corky! Look, Murphy - it's Corky!"
Murphy looked up to see Corky standing with Frank's arm around her. Her face was beaming. They all exchanged hugs and sat down.
"What are you doing in town Corky?" Murphy moved her chair closer to Frank to make more room for Corky on her right.
"You should have told us you were coming?" Frank chimed in
"I didn't know 'till just this morning. ABC called me on assignment, but I had no idea you all would be here. What a hoot! I miss you all soo much!" Corky threw her sunglasses on the table and tossed her hair. "Oh and Frank." She leaned her hand over the table and hit Frank's hand. "How was Europe?"
"Oh, it was wonderful!"
"I bet you didn't see much of it though." Corky gave a sly sneer and the two leaned in towards each other and laughed. Murphy felt as if she wasn't even there. "Ohh, are these pictures!" Corky snatched the album in front of Murphy, who sat in between the two chatters like a marble statue of the Mona Lisa; unmoved and unhappy.
"Murphy, are you alright?" Corky noticed Murphy's face.
"Well, actually, Corky, I was just about to tell Frank some important news when you came in."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Murphy." Frank gave her his overall attention.
"YOU HAVE NEWS TOO!" Corky spouted up with enthusiasm. "I have news also. You first! You first!" Corky seemed to have more excitement than usual."
"Why don't you go first, Corky." Murphy was a bit annoyed by this. But since Corky's "news" sounded like it would be much more uplifting to the group than hers would, Murphy felt it would be a good tone setter.
"Please, Murphy, you go."
"Ok. There comes..." Murphy started into her prepared speech.
"I MET SOMEONE!" Corky let it out before Murphy could get another word in. Corky bounced from the excitement.
Murphy turned her head, shot her eyes to the side and threw up her hands in a reaction, that if said out loud would have manifested itself in the word "unbelievable."
"Corky, that's wonderful!" Frank leaned in and took Corky's hand." You look so happy." Corky leaned in towards Frank, blocking Murphy with both their heads. Murphy made a face. "I am, Frank. I am so happy! He's so wonderful!" Corky leaned back. "His name is Lester. He's an accountant in New York. And he is actually from a town near where I grew up. Just a few towns away. And get this... Miles introduced us! Isn't that crazy!"
"Wow." Frank was so happy for his friend.
"I have pictures, wanna see." Corky rummaged through her purse.
"Well actually..." But no one heard Murphy because Frank talked over her.
"Sure."
Corky handed Frank a group of pictures from her purse. Frank peered at them gleefully.
"That's when he took me in a horse drawn carriage for our three week anniversary." She pointed to the picture.
"In Central Park?" Frank pointed to the trees in the background.
"Yes!"
Murphy leaned back with her arms folded and finally couldn't take it. "You know I was talking here!" Murphy snarled
"Oh! Sorry, Murphy. Give me the pictures, Frank." Frank handed the pictures back to Corky.
"As I was saying!" Murphy cleared her throat. But again Murphy was interrupted
"Well, if isn't the old bullpen gang!" This time it was Jim Dial, who stood in all his glory, beside Corky and Murphy.
"Jim!" Corky and Frank yelped
"Jim?" Murphy was happy to see him, but flustered that whenever she spoke she was interrupted.
"Hey, Slugger." He reached down and squeezed the nape of her neck. Murphy took his hand and squeezed back. Corky stood up and gave Jim a big hug. Frank walked over and did the same only ending it with a quick manly pat on the back. It was a much more visually loving scene than usual for Jim Dial since he had not seen his friends in so long. "Are you all having lunch without me?" he teased.
"Actually, Murphy and I were just having lunch-" Frank spoke only to have Corky finish his sentence.
"-And I just happened to be in town for the day and happened to run into them."
"Well what a pleasant surprise in deed." Jim gave one of his famous smiles.
"I thought you and Doris weren't coming back from your cruise 'till next week?" Murphy inquired.
"Well, yes." Jim made his way to the seat across from Murphy. The old FYI gang was now all in their usual seats like no time had passed. "But Doris had some bad clams off the coast of England."
"I didn't know they were famous for their shellfish, Jim?" Murphy added.
"We were on the boat at the time." Jim pulled himself and his chair farther into the table. "A nasty thing. Doris spent the last two days on board heaving over
the side of the ship." Jim shook his head, but then quickly changed to a look of glee. "But it did give me time to get in a few rounds of golf!"
"I hope you two had fun before that?" Corky pushed her seat in to be closer to Jim.
"Yes, it was glorious. The historical pyramids of the Nile, rolling hills of Austria, the crumbling majestic ruins of the Holy Roman Empire. Breathtaking images you can only truly appreciate in person. Only when one can smell it, taste it, touch it, feel the wind in your hair, can one truly appreciate the glory of its infinite beauty." Jim looked out in his state of awe.
"Did you take pictures?" Corky took Jim's gaze to her.
"Of course!" Jim gave her "his" biggest grin and reached into his suit pocket. "I just picked them up today."
Jim handed the pictures to Corky who spread them out onto the center of the table for Frank and Murphy to see. Murphy looked at them whole heartily with a sourpuss on her face.
"Ah, what a great picture," Corky gushed
"That's Doris and I at the ruins of Pompeii."
"Ah, Jim, you two look so great. So, happy." Corky looked at Frank. "Don't they look happy, Frank?" She looked at Murphy who started to get a small smile on her face. "Don't they, Murphy?"
"Yes," Murphy said softly, looking at Jim who began to blush.
"I'm so glad you two are happy. It shows on your face." Corky smiled.
"Well thank you, Corky. I must say happiness shows on your face also. You do look ravishing. ABC agrees with you I hope?"
"Among other things," Frank said under his breath, trying to keep in his laughter like a child in the first grade.
"FRANK!" Corky hit Frank's hand.
Jim looked at Frank and then back at Corky.
"I'm seeing someone." Corky looked at Jim with her full painted smile.
"Ah, Corky, how wonderful for you." Jim smiled at her joyfully. "Is this the young man?" He noticed the pictures in front of her. Corky nodded as Jim leafed through the pictures. A waiter passed by and Murphy seized a tray of fries off his tray."
"I need this more than you do!" Murphy gave him her scariest look, causing him to flee in terror.
"And, Frank, how was your trip to Italy and France? Did you get a chance to jaunt over the channel as you had hoped?" Jim was still leafing through the pictures.
Murphy took the ketchup bottle and started pounding away at the bottom. Nothing seemed to be coming out.
"Yes, for a day. In fact, we went to that pub you told us about." Frank took his photo album and began leafing through it.
Murphy finally got the ketchup out after a massive physical and uncalled for exertion. The FYI gang, who was too enthralled with their pictures of loved ones, ignored all of this.
"I think I even have a picture of it," Frank continued.
Corky and Jim, "Ohhed'.
Murphy took a few fries and then slid the tray in the center of the table. Corky and Jim kept their gaze towards Frank's pictures. Murphy let out a yell and collapsed her head on to the table. Hey, it had worked for Frank.
"Something wrong, Slugger?" Jim looked concerned.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Murphy." Corky turned towards Jim and Frank "Murphy had something very important to say." All eyes turned on Murphy.
Murphy lifted her head and looked at her friends. "Yes, I do," she said sternly. Murphy was afraid to open her month again. She just knew she would be interrupted. Frank, Jim, and Corky looked at her patiently.
"Here you go, Murphy." Her instincts were correct. This time it was Phil and this time even before she began speaking.
"AHHHH!" Jim and Corky screamed.
"Nice to see you both too." Phil placed Murphy's food in front of her and then did the same for Frank. "I don't think I'll ever stop getting a kick out of that reaction. Each and every time a pisser." He laughed from his gut.
'Phil! It's Phil! PHIL YOU'RE DEAD! We buried you. You're dead?" Corky put her hand to her heart. "OH MY GOD, I'm seeing dead people! I'M DYING AREN'T I?" She put her hands on her mouth and then began flaring her arms around like she was trying to stop herself from crying. "Oh my god, I'm dead!" She took in too much air, causing her voice to inhale into her nose, "I was so young." Corky looked off to the side to tried and hold back the tears.
"You're not dead, Corky!" Murphy gave her a piercing look. "Phil was just in the witness protection program!"
"The witness protection program? You mean you're not dead?" Corky questioned.
"No, Corky, I'm not. What can I get ya?" Phil was unfazed.
Corky looked stunned, as she looked up at Phil.
Murphy looked over at Jim. She noticed he had said nothing up to this point in reaction to Phil. "Jim?" He looked funny, "Jim, are you alright?" Murphy paused for a moment and stared at him. "Jim, you're turning purple!" She turned to Frank. "Frank, he's turning purple!"
They all turned and stared at Jim. His head looked like it was about to explode.
"He looks like his choking!" Frank looked at him intently.
"Jim, are you chocking?" Corky leaned in towards Jim.
Murphy hit Corky on the arm. By this time they were all semi standing and staring at Jim.
"YOU THINK IF HE WAS CHOCKING HE'D BE ABLE TO TELL YOU!" Murphy looked at Jim in a very concerned way. "Jim? Are you choking?" she said like a little girl.
Jim slammed his hand on the table and shook his head
"He is choking!" Frank stood up and looked around, not knowing what to do.
Jim pounded the table with his hand again.
"Somebody do something!" Phil screamed.
Frank shrugged his shoulders and ran behind Jim. He wrapped his arms around him, lifting him a little, and pushed his best. This sent the half-eaten French fry, which had been lodged in Jim's air way, out of Jim's mouth. Murphy leaned to the left and they all watched as the French fry flew past her and behind the bar. Jim sat down in a huff.
Murphy grabbed a glass of water off the table next to her. "Are you alright, Jim?" Murphy placed the glass in front of Jim and sat down. She never took her eyes off him. Frank and Corky did the same.
"Jim?" Frank leaned over him from above.
"Yes, thank you, Frank." Jim was a bit dazed. Frank handed him the water in front of him. "Really, I'm fine." Embarrassed, Jim tried to wave away his friends.
"I'll get you a nice glass of tea for your throat, Jim." Phil made a note on his pad.
"Thank you, Phil." Jim took a drink of water and cleared his throat.
"What can I get you, Corky?"
"Nothing, Phil. I can't stay long."
Phil nodded his head and walked off. Frank and Corky sat down.
"What happened, Jim?" Murphy leaned in towards Jim.
"When I saw Phil my heart fluttered a bit." He placed his hand on his chest. "I guess I got surprised by it all and my throat constricted. I'm quite embarrassed." Jim cleared his throat.
"Has this happened before, Jim?" Corky's voice lowered and she looked at him deeply.
"Once, when we were in Rome. Doris and I came up on what I thought was a large anaconda. To my chagrin, it was nothing but a harmless house pet that had gotten loose. The Doctor said it's nothing I shouldn't be too worried about it. Just to keep away from stressful things." He took another drink.
"Or surprises," Frank chimed in.
"Yes, well." Jim began to laugh his famous soundless laugh. "You can definitely call that a surprise. But since I don't see anyone else rising from the dead anytime soon, I hope. I'll be fine. Really." He tried to reassure his friends. Corky and Frank seemed to relax, but Murphy remained motionless. She was as tight as a rock with a look of fear on her face. "Please, let's not talk about me and my "OLD" age." He took another drink and then realized something. "Umm." He still had a bit of water in his mouth. "Murphy was in the middle of telling us something very important. Slugger?" Jim motioned his hands for her to speak.
"What?" Murphy looked like a startled cat.
"You wanted to tell us something, Murphy?" Corky turned her chair towards Murphy.
"What? Me? No! I had nothing to say. Yes, there is nothing new with me. Nothing at all. Yes, sir, my life is pretty boring as usual. Jim, Jim why don't you tell us one of your fascinating stories about the ruins of Rome? A real nice peaceful one. Or tell us all about how sick Doris got? I'm sure we're all interested in that. Was it a dry heaving or did she blow massive chunks?"
"Well, I…" Jim started to speak, but Murphy kept rambling on.
"And, Frank, I am fascinated with the Mona Lisa. Is she really frowning or is that just a rumor I hear?" Frank looked at her strangely, as Murphy began to look around and then behind her. "Why don't we order?"
"Murphy, we did? It's right in front of you?" Frank looked at her like she had a duck on her head.
"Ahh." Murphy looked down and acted overly surprised. "Well, what do you know, there it is! Well, if I'm not a monkey's uncle. I'm starved! Let's eat." Murphy took a bite of her sandwich.
Corky spoke, "Come on, Murphy. We're sorry for interrupting you. We won't do it again. Tell us the news you've been pouting about." Murphy looked at Corky and then at Jim, and thirdly at Frank, with only her eyeballs. "Come on, Murphy. I have to go. Tell us your news!"
"OK." Murphy swallowed her food and began to relax again. She looked at Jim and kept sight of Corky and Frank out of the corner of her eyes. "You're going to find this out sooner or later. So, I better just go ahead and tell it." She cleared her throat. "There comes a time..." She stopped herself and snatched the fries, from the center of the table, away from Jim. She took a deep breath. "There comes a time in someone's life when they realize they're missing something. Something they thought they never needed and..." Murphy noticed that her words were leaving her friends flat and with an uncertainty to their purpose. So, she decided to change gears. "Ok, scratch that." She shook her head and waved her hands. Murphy rolled her eyes, realizing the best way to get out what she needed was to take Corky's line from before, but she still didn't like it. "I'm seeing someone," she frowned. Jim, Corky, and Frank ran over each other with loving words. "Wait! It's more complicated than that." She rolled her fingers over her knuckles and looked down. "It's someone you all know and..."
"It's that vagabond house painter, isn't it?" Jim interrupted her.
"What, Jim?" Murphy looked up at Jim. She was taken aback by the remark.
"I knew it couldn't take anyone that long to paint a house without some sort of hanky panky going on."
"Hanky panky, Jim?"
"Hanky panky!"
"No, Jim. It's not Eldin. There has never been anything between Eldin and me."
"Not even a little hanky panky?"
"No, Jim?"
"Frank, remind me I owe you twenty dollars," Jim said sternly to Frank.
Murphy gave Frank a look. He smiled an "I plead the fifth" smile.
"As I was saying," she said this to Frank, with a nasty glare, and then back at the group. "It's someone you know. Someone well...I guess just to say it...I should just say it because...to say it is...well the ship's sailed on that one..."
"God, Murph." Frank laughed. "You sound just like that time you told us you were dating Jerry Gold." Frank laughed again. Murphy said nothing. The group laughed with Frank. Murphy still was silent. Frank looked at her unaware he was right. Frank went for his burger but Murphy pulled it away from him.
"It's funny you should mention that, Frank."
"No…" Frank's eyes bounced in their sockets.
"Well?" Murphy eyes and eyebrows raised in a look of unexplained guilt.
The FYIer all let out their own simultaneous incoherent slander. The group was in shock. Jim was the next to speak up.
"I knew he'd be lying in wait somewhere, lurking, just waiting for the one moment I wasn't looking, and swoop down on you." Jim made swooping gestures with his hands.
"God, Jim, he's not the Riddler!" Murphy looked perplexed by Jim's reaction
Corky started to cry.
"How long has this been going on?" Frank demanded answers.
"A month."
"A month?" Jim chimed in.
"A month, Murphy!" Frank was not happy. "His face was all over the tabloids when I was in Europe. I couldn't go out without seeing it! He went directly from his wife's bed to your doorstep! Isn't that wonderful for you!" By this time Frank had his face in Murphy's.
"It's not like that, Frank! He showed up at my house about a month ago. We had a really wonderful talk." She looked at the group. "All of which you all would never understand even if you even wanted to hear it. And he's been staying with me ever since."
"He's living with you!" Frank's eyes bolted from his head. Corky's tears became open weeping and Jim just grunted in disapproval. "In your house? With Avery!"
"Eventually, he'll find his own place, but 'till then when Avery gets home tomorrow I will explain it all to him ...that I can."
"But are you crazy, Murphy, he could have a gun," Frank whispered the word gun.
"Frank, Jerry doesn't own a gun!"
"He could! All Republicans do."
"You know that's not true, Frank! Well, maybe just the ones in Congress! But Please, Frank! Jerry isn't even a Republican, he doesn't agree with party affiliations."
"He doesn't?" Frank was very surprised.
"No! In fact, for your information, FRANK - he happens to think that their all bureaucratic bu..."
Corky grabbed Murphy's arm and stopped her with her own words. "You're not going to invite us over for dinner again, are you, Murphy!"
"No, Corky."
"Good! Because, if I have to break bread with Jerry Gold I think I'll have to vomit. And I'm not talking about just feeling ill, Murphy. I'm talking about having a repeat performance on your hands of Doris of the high seas!"
Murphy gave a cross look in the direction of no one in particular. "Don't worry, Corky! I don't see why my life with Jerry and my life with all of you can't be separate. We've all gone down that road before and it didn't work. This time I know better."
Frank was starting to sweat. "God, Murph, you're like those abused women who keep going back for more. Over, and over…"
"Frank, Jerry has never abused me in any way! Physical or emotional. Do you hear me, Frank. Never!"
"Or like those women on Jerry Springer or Howard Stern." Corky wrecked through her purse for a tissue, as she spoke, "… Who talk about wanting a wonderful guy and then go home with the host or sit on his lap in a thong bikini." Corky shook her head in disgust. "Let's just thank god you're post-menopausal." She found a tissue and blew her nose.
"Ohh." Jim's head shot up. "Corky is on to something," his voice became excited "Have you thought perhaps your current mental state is due in part to a lack of hormones of some kind?" Jim was even more thrilled by his proposal.
"OK, FINE! This is unbelievable! Look at all of you! Shoving your pictures around in my face." Murphy pushed Frank's album towards him. "Gloating over your loved ones, and where you went, and how happy you all are. How selfish can you all be? Did you all ever think for once that I want what you all have? That I might have what you all have. And NOT one of you is happy for me. Not one. You never had to ask my permission to love them. Why do I need to do the same, just because you don't happen to like the man I picked?"
Jim and Corky grumbled.
Frank turned his head and leaned on the back of his chair with his arms. "I..." Frank looked at Murphy and flung his hands up. "I have to throw some water on my face." He shot up. "Excuse me," he said coldly and walked away.
Murphy lowered her head. They sat in silence for a few moments not speaking to each other.
"I understand where you're coming from, Murphy." Corky dried her eyes with her Kleenex. I just don't understand it!"
"Is it ok if I just pretend it's not happening?" Jim's grin returned to his face.
"Whatever makes you happy, Jim?" Murphy said it very quickly and with no enthusiasm what-so-ever. In fact, it was spoken in the closest thing to a monotone Murphy had. It was an appeasement phrase. For once she was actually tired of fighting.
"If it isn't the old FYI team back together - again!" Stan Lansing's abrasive, booming voice, broke into the tension with his own knife: himself. The group offered their wholehearted pleasantries while they recovered from the previous circumstances.
Stan stared at Corky. "Well if it isn't the traitor girl?" Stan said sarcastically
"Hi, Stan." Corky looked timid at first but then remembered to stand her ground. "Stan, I just got a better offer somewhere else. I would have loved to stay here..."
"Hey, Jim, how's the wife and kids?" Stan ignored Corky by interrupting her.
"I don't have any kids, Stan."
"Whatever." He turned to Murphy. "And, Murphy, I hear you boffing Jerry Gold? How very Connie Chung of you."
Murphy grimaced and rolled her eyes, "Yes, Stan." She was offended by the "boffing" reference, but tried to ignore it.
"Great. I always wondered what those two talked about at night? Connie and Maury Povich, I mean. You two should let Sherwood here do one of those dramatic celebrity interviews with you. But wait!" He turned to Corky. "She can't! That's BARBARA WALTERS JOB!"
Corky folded her arms and pretended it didn't affect her, because it had.
"Hey!" Stan grabbed one of the waiters as he passed by. "I got an order for Lansing. Go get it for me, Kid." The kid looked at him dumbfounded as if to say "hey, that's not my job." Stan kept his grip on the kid's shoulder and reached into his pocket with the other. "Here's a hundred, Kid." He threw the bill in one of the empty glasses on the boy's tray. "Make it fast." Stan let go of his grip and the kid was off. Stan turned and looked at Murphy. "I hate coming down here myself during the day, but I just had to fire my secretary. So, I had to come myself."
"Why, Stan? Kelly was such a good secretary, wasn't she?" Murphy knew all about that one.
"Something about her water breaking and not being unable to pick up my dry cleaning... who knows? Murphy don't we have a meeting today?'
"Yes, Stan, two o'clock."
"Really…" He thought to himself for a moment. "What time is it now?" Murphy looked at her watch.
"It's one-twenty."
"Really." Stan looked at his watch. "Can I see your watch, Murphy?"
"Sure." Murphy stretched her arm toward Stan
"No, take it off. I want to see it."
"Why?"
"Just let me see it, Murphy?" Murphy looked confused but took off her watch and gave it to Stan. He looked at the watch for a moment like he was admiring it and then began to wind the watch until it hit two o'clock. "Well, what do you know - it's two o'clock!" He shoved the watch in Murphy's face.
"Are you trying to say you want to meet with me now, Stan!" She snatched the watch from his hand and slid it on her wrist.
"Yes, that would be nice. I scheduled a hot oil massage with Olga from two to five. Come on, let's go." He waved his hand.
"Excuse me, Stan." Jim raised his voice to get Stan's attention. "You have a meeting with me at four."
"I do?" He thought for a second. "I'll make it a double. You come too."
Jim and Murphy stood up. Jim pushed his chair in and Murphy looked towards the bathroom for a sign of Frank - but there was none. Suddenly, Phil came up behind her with a white bag in his hand.
"Excuse me, Murphy." Murphy moved out of Phil's way and he made his way to Stan. "Here's you order, Stan."
"Put it on the network bill, Phil. Hey, I just rhymed!" He took the bag from Phil.
"Will do." Phil walked away.
Corky stood up and stared at Stan's reaction to Phil. "Stan!" Corky bent her body, in her way, and shot her arm out in front of her. "Aren't you surprised to see Phil?"
"No, why would I, Sherwood, this is PHIL'S?"
"Because, he was supposed to be dead for six years!"
"Really? Who knew?" Stan was not shaken "Come on, people! Stan's got a date with hands from heaven!" Stan started for the door. Jim and Murphy said their good-byes to Corky.
Murphy looked again towards the bathroom, but still no Frank. She looked back at Corky. "Will you tell Frank I had to go?" She reached into her pocket and took out two tickets. She placed one on the table and the other in her pocket. "Will you make sure Frank gets this? Tell him I'm sorry I had to leave and I'll see him at the game." Corky smiled at Murphy and took the ticket. Murphy gave one more look at the bathroom.
"Come on, Murphy," Stan bellowed, as he held on to the door.
Jim waited between the two of them for Murphy. She took one more longing look at the bathroom and walked toward the door. Being a gentleman of the old stock, Jim let her walk in front him, and then he followed her out.
Stan started to follow them, but stopped half way out the door and turned around. "And Sherwood!" he screamed over the crowd. Corky turned around. "I hope you enjoy your stay at ABC. THE ALL BARBARA CHANNEL!" He walked out in a huff and slammed the door behind him.
LATER THAT NIGHT
Murphy knocked on Frank's Apartment door. There was no response. She knocked a second time. Still there was nothing. Murphy realized she should just ring the buzzer. She pushed her hand to the buzzer and kept it there. This caused the bell to ring constantly like a car alarm and in a way announced her presence without a single word.
"Murphy?" Lesley answered the door with a perplexed look. She still hadn't gotten use to Murphy's antics. "I was in the other room. I didn't hear you." She rubbed her hand on her large stomach. She was only three months pregnant and so the fact that she was having twins was apparent.
"Is Frank here?"
"Of course, come in." She moved aside for Murphy to enter.
"He was supposed to meet me at a basketball game and he didn't show up." She turned to Lesley as she adjusted her purse strap. "I was worried."
"He's been here all night." She smiled at Murphy. "I'll go get him." She walked into the bedroom.
Murphy set her purse next to the couch and sat down. She started to get hot and took off her blazer. She folded it and tossed it on the arm of the couch. She looked around and waited. All the furniture and such were new, but then it had been since Lesley moved in. Murphy began to notice that some things were missing. And then Murphy caught sight of a few boxes near the front door and a large one near the door to the terrace. She walked over to the boxes near the door and peered in.
"He'll be right out." Lesley stood at the door.
"What are the boxes for?"
"We're moving to a bigger apartment uptown."
"Oh, I see."
"I should go." Lesley walked toward the closet
"No, Lesley, you don't..."
"You and Frank need to talk about something important."
"Really, you don't have to go."
Lesley took her jacket out from the closet and started to put it on. "No, really I'll just take a walk. I need the exercise. Besides…" She flipped down the collar of her denim coat. "I know when I've had a fight with my friend over something the last thing I want around is other people."
"We didn't have a fight..."
"Please, Murphy. It's all over Frank's face."
"It's about the man I'm... seeing." Murphy hated the word dating and tried to avoid using it as much as possible. She felt too old for the word.
"Oh, that's fixable. Frank will get over that." She smiled and walked towards Murphy.
Murphy's face was one of worry.
"I'm sure it will be fine, Murphy." She patted Murphy's arm. Once Frank gets over...well, being Frank he'll realize that all that matters is that you're happy. And you're happy, aren't you?"
"Yes." She nodded her head.
"Then as a true friend he will come to his senses. Besides, if you can do it, so can Frank." She smiled at Murphy
"What?" Murphy tried to pretend she didn't know what Lesley was getting out.
"I know you didn't like me at first. But you knew that Frank was happy and you learned to accept it... and then you got to know me better. Frank will do the same."
It's a little more complicated than that."
"How complicated?"
"Luke Skywalker and Darth Vador complicated. Cold War Russia verses the U.S. complicated. Jerry-Lee Lewis and Elvis complicated."
"OK?" Lesley looked at Murphy strangely. "Tell Frank I'll be back." She walked towards the door.
"Just to let you know." I never liked any of Frank's girlfriends at first. So, it's doesn't make you special in anyway. And when I say special what I really mean - in the most weakest definition of the word, because you're obviously special because Frank loves you..."
"Ok, Murphy." She started for the door again.
"I just don't want you to take it personally. Because, I tend to make rash first impressions about most of the people I meet. Ok, all the people I meet. Frank's girlfriends or otherwise." Murphy looked down in embarrassment. "People say I should seek counseling for it."
"Ok, Murphy." She put her hands in her pockets and smiled awkwardly. "I understand." She looked at Murphy's blazer on the couch.
"Murphy, is that your jacket?"
Murphy looked at her blazer. "This one? Yes. Yes, it is," she said awkwardly.
"Would you mind just hanging it up in the closet if you're not going to wear it?"
Murphy smiled and grabbed the blazer up and folded it over her arms
"Thanks, Murphy!" Lesley smiled back and exited.
Murphy let go of her smile and the blazer onto the couch. Murphy looked up to notice Frank in the doorway to his bedroom. He didn't look too happy to see her.
"Hi, Murphy."
"FRANK! I was so worried when didn't show up. Where were you?"
"Where's Lesley?"
"She went for a walk."
"Oh." Frank walked the border of the room with his back towards the window doors that led to the terrace.
Murphy felt awkward by Frank's attitude. She walked over to him. "I see you're moving?"
"Yeah, I was going to tell you at lunch."
Murphy nodded her head awkwardly and looked down. Her eyes hit the large box she had noticed when she arrived. She slid her hands over it in reaction to the awkwardness. Making a sound, like light rushing water, on the box. She also used the gesture to get closer to Frank, who began looking out the window. As she did this she noticed there was some sort of writing on the big box.
"Why does this say COUNTRY HOME on it?"
"Lesley's family has a farmhouse in the Hamptons. This stuff is going up there. She wants to spend the summers there once the babies are born. So, they have room to run."
"Sounds nice."
Frank looked at Murphy. "It is. It's a beautiful house with lots of land, and get this, Murph." He looked at Murphy and smiled for the first time. "It has a real white picket fence. My kids are going to grow up in a house with a white picket fence...well at least their summers. Their summers... listen to me. Who would have ever thought the children of Frank Fontana would have a summer home. The closest I got to a summer home was the tent my parents let me pitch on the sidewalk in front of our apartment." He laughed and Murphy laughed. They smiled at each other for a moment.
"Why didn't you show up, Frank?" Murphy's voice was soft. She walked over to Frank.
Frank looked out the window. "I needed some time to think, Murphy." He looked at her when he spoke.
"Are you done yet?"
"I don't know!" Frank threw his hands up and walked towards the couch.
"Frank, come on. I didn't think you'd get this upset. What's wrong? It's time to make up."
"I'll tell you what's wrong, Murphy. I feel like my best friend is making one of the biggest mistakes of her life and there's nothing I can do about!"
"Why does it have to be a mistake, Frank? Just because you don't like him, you think he's a jerk."
"Yes!"
"What is this middle school, Frank? You won't be friends with me because I'm not dating one of the cool kids."
"It's not like that, Murphy. I see you with a man that's not right for you..."
"And why is that, Frank? Because, he loves me! Because, I care about him? Because, he makes me laugh, and makes me feel loved...and happy, and... Wanted?"
"I don't know why he clouds you like this? I wish you could see him for what he really is?"
"How is he really, Frank? Tell me? Because, you don't know him. How could you? Just like he doesn't know you, but that doesn't stop us from being friends... Why does this?" Murphy took a breath. "I wish you could see him through my eyes, Frank… Because, that's the real him. That's what counts. You don't now the man I know. You don't know the man who is tender with me, who treats me with respect. You could never know the man I see at night like I could never know the woman you see at night. Therefore, you can't make judgments like that."
Frank looked at Murphy and saw the passion in her eyes that confused him so much. He wanted to believe her, but at the same time he felt he knew better for her on the subject. "I had this plan in my head when I got married. I saw Lesley and me and you and whoever you were dating at the time having dinners together and barbecues. We'd have Super Bowl parties, and watch our kids playing together, and running around while we laughed and talked. We'd all be a little family."
"I'm sorry, Frank, that my life doesn't fit into your pretty little picture. But that's the way it is. It may change, but right now this is the way it is and you're going to have to except it."
"But I don't want to!"
"Why do you get to have the picket fence life, Frank, and I don't!"
"You never wanted that!"
"I may not want the actual building, Frank, but I do want what's inside of it. I want to be loved!"
"I love you," Franks voice was sweet and loving.
"It's not the same thing, Frank." Murphy began to tear up. She tried to hold it in
"I just don't see how you get that from him?" Frank became angry again.
"We don't choose who we fall in love with, Frank!" She slid her finger under her eyelids to shed away her tears. "I believe you said that to me once!"
Frank looked at Murphy and pushed his hand up like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out. He turned around and lifted his hands to his forehead for a moment and then looked back at Murphy. "I need some time."
"Ok."
"I can get over this."
"Sure." Murphy feared it wasn't sure.
"I just need some time." Frank walked dazed into his bedroom.
"Frank?" Her voice was a whisper from the tears she was holding back.
He turned his head to her before entering his bedroom. "I just want what's best for you, Murphy, can't you see that?"
"Yes, Frank. But I feel this is what's best."
Frank shook his head and walked into his bedroom and closed his door. A moment later, muffled music filled the room. He had left Murphy alone
"Frank?" She called his name again, but no answer. The music was too loud
Tears started to well in Murphy's eyes from the pressure of holding them back. Her throat started to block up with emotion. She took in a breath and tried to hold it all back. By this time, the sun had started to set and Murphy was in a light grey darkness. She took her blazer off the couch, picked up her purse, and slowly made her way to the door. Murphy took one step around the back of the couch and hit her foot. She screamed in angry. The release of sound caused Murphy's tears to break through the dam she had created. Her body bent over from the emotion of trying to hold it back. She took in deep breaths, but it only made things worse.
Murphy grabbed onto the back of the couch to support herself. Her fingers gripped into the edge causing the leather to warp. She stood up and tried walking away only to stumbled on the small step between the couch and the door. She reached her hand down to brace herself and then pushed herself back up. She took in another deep breath, sucked in the streaming tears she had, and left the apartment. It was all an uncommon reaction for Murphy, but in past couple of weeks she had been wearing her emotions just above the skin.
A moment later, Frank opened the door to his bedroom and called her name. Something had compelled him to come back out into the living room. He had for some reason expected Murphy to be there. And she wasn't. He sighed and walked into his bedroom
GEORGETOWN
After a roundabout way home Murphy made it to her townhouse around nine p.m. She called to tell Jerry she was going to be home early, but only got the answering machine. So, for an hour she just drove around and listened to music. Aretha, Smokey, and The Four Tops comforted her into believing it would all turn out fine.
She fumbled with her keys, remarking to herself that she had way too many key chains per key than a grown woman should own. Murphy opened her door to the sound of Bobby Darin on the CD player and the smell of food in the air. She smiled at it all with a sly offset grin, not only out of curiosity, but of comfort. She threw her keys on the table in the foyer and walked into the living room.
Unaware of her presence in the center of the room was Jerry, dancing and lip syncing to the music, as if the remaining Rat Pack members were off stage having drinks. He wore his best black suit, which completed the transformation. He threw out his arms and mouthed his lips around the words like he was an old crooner. Murphy leaned against the arch of her foyer and couldn't help but smile. It was more like kept in laughter than a smile because Jerry looked pretty funny to her.
Jerry turned around, still doing his little routine, and noticed her. "HEY!" He smiled and threw out his arms.
"HI!" Her eyebrows shot up and the bits of laughter she had been holding in crept out from the crevices of her mouth.
"Hey, I don't make fun of you when you sing; don't laugh at me when I do my thing."
"I believe…" She shot her eyes up in a thinking back mode. "You once attributed my singing voice to having the ability to peel paint!" She folded her arms and gave him a look.
"Ok. So, I haven't made fun of it recently." He danced over to her, lip syncing a small verse. He took her in his arms in a dance like embrace. She stretched her arms over his neck and he danced her off the step and next to the couch.
"Is that food I smell? What did you order tonight?"
"No! I'm cooking."
"You're cooking?"
"Yes."
"OHH. I love it when you cook!"
"Yes, that's because I actually know how to." He leaned in and kissed her. Murphy turned the light kiss into a passionate one. "I'll be right back." Jerry ran off into the kitchen. Murphy smiled and took the mail off the table next to the CD player.
"I see your CD's came." She picked up a CD next to the player and looked it over.
"Yeah, finally!" he shouted from the kitchen.
Murphy leafed through the mail for important things to open. She walked over to the couch and shook her shoes off before throwing herself on to it. She saw nothing worth opening and tossed the mail on the coffee table. Murphy noticed something shinny on the table. She leaned in and saw it was a ring.
"OH!" She was taken aback. It was her mother's claddagh ring, Irish wedding band. She thought she had lost it. She picked it up in her hands like she was seeing a ghost. "JERRY, WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?"
"I found it under the couch." He was behind her; yelling had been fruitless. She turned and looked at him. He stood there drying his hands with a towel. "I was looking for a cuff link."
"I've been looking for this for years!"
"Hey!" Jerry smiled and went back into the kitchen. He had no ideas of the ring's importance to Murphy.
She stared at the ring for a moment. It just needed some polish to change it from its brown color, but it looked great in all its golden glory. She slid the ring on her finger and then realized something. She had put the crown down by accident. It was out of habit. When a woman was taken she wore the crown up and down when she wasn't. Murphy had always worn the ring down the entire time she wore it. This was from the time her mother died up until about five years ago when she lost it. Murphy shook her head and took the ring off and returned it to her finger with the crown facing up. It was about time that she did that.
Jerry came back out from the kitchen. He had taken his jacket off and his sleeves were rolled up. He smiled at her and she smiled back
"Where was I?" He walked over to Murphy and began dancing her around again, but still staying in one place. "How was your day?"
"You're asking how my day was? Wow. Jerry, that's a step. You're cooking for me, and making pleasant conversation. You better stop before you spoil a girl," she joked. Their dancing became more of a small rocking
"Well, actually it was just a segue into me telling you about my day."
"Fair enough," she smirked.
"So, how was it?
"How was what?" She leaned forward with her head
"Your day?"
"Oh, we're back to this? Yes I see. It was good."
"You and Fontana have fun?"
Murphy hesitated for a moment. "Yeah..."
"Good." He nodded his head and there was a moment of silence.
"You can talk now, Gold. I'm done."
"Oh?" He smiled and dipped. "I got more offers today."
"That's great!"
Jerry lifted Murphy up. "That makes it ten in one month!"
"Gold, that's fantastic! Now all you have to do is choose."
"As they clamor for my attention. It's fabulous! I think some guy at Viacom offered me his first-born. Either that or something about porn? But I figure either way I could always make a good profit on the black market."
"Who knew a scandal could be so lucrative."
"Really." He kissed her.
"Listen, my last package is supposed to come from Germany tomorrow. Will you be home?"
"I should. But didn't we decide you were going to send the last of your stuff directly to storage."
"Yeah, that was until I found a place." The song ended and the two stopped "dancing."
"The good news is I think I found a great place today." He nodded his head and walked over to the CD player.
Murphy stood next to the couch for a moment. "Already?"
"Yeah, it's near where my old place used to be... so it's perfect." He took the CD out the player and placed it in its case. "I already know the area..."
"When are you thinking of moving in?'
"I thought sometime tomorrow."
"So, soon!"
"How about some Dean Martin?" He looked around for the CD
"I'd rather some Aretha!" she said coldly. "When did you get this place?"
"Just today. We always listen to Aretha. I love the woman, but how about some variety." He led his finger down the stack of CDs beside the player. "How about some Frank?"
"For your information Aretha Franklin has always been a sense of comfort for me in times of woe, well before you came along and well after. Aretha is the Queen of Soul and she wouldn't even be in spitting distance of Frank Sinatra. In fact, I don't even think they could even be in a room together because Frank would have been too jealous of her! The only thing he'll ever be king of, next to her, is perhaps the king of felonies and the use of a teleprompter with the ability to still forget the words to his own songs! " Murphy huffed off towards the kitchen.
"What did I say? You always liked Frank?" He ran to cut Murphy off at the pass between the entrance to the foyer and a picture of her mother. "What did I do! You said I should find my own place!"
"I just didn't think you'd be so eager leave so soon. But go ahead! Leave - just like every..."
"Brown, Brown, hold on!" He defended with his hands. "I just thought since Avery was coming back tomorrow..."
"Jerry. You don't have to leave because of Avery!"
"I just think it's going to be awkward if I stay here." He tried to avoid her eyes. Jerry walked over to the couch and leaned on the edge of it.
She looked at him and saw his fear. "You don't have to be scared of him? He's just a kid."
"Whose father was never my biggest fan. And I'm not scared of a kid. With kids I think it's more the other way around." He walked away from her.
"Need I have to remind you he's also half mine. And I'm the half that brought him up. So really we're talking one hundred percent me here."
"I think that's what scares me the most!" He looked at her.
"I like you. So, he will too," her voice was sincere.
"I still think it would be better for everyone if I moved out." He walked over to Murphy. "I just think its best." He kissed her and walked toward the Kitchen.
Murphy grabbed his arm and her voice became tough talking, "Listen Gold, I don't care if you live here or move out. In fact, I'm very surprised we've lasted this long together under the same roof. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that we both don't have heavy workloads and unlike the last time we lived together, I'm not stuck in only this house for hours on end. But no matter what, I will not have you in my life and run away every time my kid comes around! You are part of my life now and Avery is part of that life. It's a fixed deal! Got it Gold!" She waited for his answer. "Got it Gold."
"Got it," he said defensively.
"Let's make a compromise, ok."
"Will you let go of my arm first." She twisted Jerry's arm "Ok, OK, what compromise?"
She let go of her grip. "You stay here for two more weeks and in the interim hopefully get to know Avery a little. And in the meantime, I'll start helping you move your stuff into your new apartment."
"Do I have any choice on the matter?" She twisted his arm again "Ok, OK. Will you let go, please!"
"I don't know if I should?" Murphy teased him.
"Oh, come on, Brown. I'm losing consciousness over here along with muscle mass."
Murphy waited a moment to watch him suffer a bit and then let him go. "You're such a baby, Gold!"
Jerry rubbed his arm and walked over to Murphy. "Who says I didn't like it." He smiled his cocky smile and fake batted his eyes.
Murphy hit him upside the back of the head. "You know you have to stop doing that, Brown!" But before he could finish his sentence Murphy laid a big kiss on him. She slid her arms around his neck resting her elbows on his shoulders.
"Now, that I like…" They kissed again. "So, Brown, this helping me to move thing consists of you helping me with all my heavy boxes, right?"
"No, it consists of me calling big movers on the phone and having them carry all your big heavy boxes."
"Ahh." Jerry nodded his head like he didn't know that was going to be her answer. "That's my girl." Jerry smiled. "You're on." This time Jerry kissed her.
Suddenly, the timer sounded from the kitchen.
Murphy pulled away slowly "I guess that means our time is up?" she joked slyly.
"No, the buzzer, like a bell, only heralds an end or beginning to one part and the entrance of another. Never an end, only the beginning of something new."
"Very profound, Jer.? How did you ever think up a thing like that?"
"I read it on the side of the pasta box. Did you know that 100 percent pure grade semolina ziti has only ten calories of fat which equals only two parts of your daily servings from fat?" He smiled slyly.
"No, I didn't know that." She tried not to laugh. "Now go stop that buzzer before I divide you into two parts."
"As tempting as that is, after the arm incident, I think I'd better end the dance portion of the evening with my quick exit." Jerry kissed her lightly on the lips. "Don't worry. There's more where that came from." He jogged off into the kitchen.
Murphy walked over to her large windows. She stood back and stared at the widows in a pondering mode. She walked up to the glass and pushed her face up against it. After a moment or two of squinting she pulled away and backed up from the window. She then walked backwards until she hit the table in back of the couch. She tipped on her toes, trying to see as high as she could over the backyard wall.
"I don't get it?" She said to herself. The doorbell rang. "Jerry, remind me to buy curtains!"
"What?" He yelled from the kitchen. The doorbell rang again.
"Nothing!" Murphy looked toward the door. The doorbell rang a third time. She started to smile. "Frank?" she thought to herself. Murphy walked quickly to the door. She stopped for a moment to prepare herself to greet Frank, in her usual gloating style, only this time she would try to be more caring. She would try. She reached for the door and opened it. It was Eldin.
"Why is it you can hear the mailman dipping…" Eldin cupped his fingers together in a dipping motion. "…His fingers into the mailbag, but you can't hear your own door bell. A door bell, if I may add, that permeates through ever crevice of this house better than that nails on a chalkboard singing voice of yours."
"Eldin?" Her housepainter/nanny/friend stood in the doorway. She was surprised to see him for many reasons, other than the fact that she was expecting someone else.
"Yes! It is I!"
"Why are you back so early and why don't you use your key?"
"I lost them in a vat of maple syrup."
"You lost your keys in a vat of maple syrup? May I dare to ask what you were doing in a vat of maple syrup?
"It was a delve into the art mosaic, along the lines of that man who decorated his entire hotel room with nothing but Cheese Whiz. In a statement against the horrible plight against mankind."
"Mankind? Cheese Whiz?"
"Or maybe I was just really drunk? I haven't decided yet." Eldin scratched his head.
"Eldin, if you're coming in, come in. If not, say your peace and get out!"
"Yes. And what a pleasure it is to see you as well." He smiled sarcastically. "I will go. But first, I believe, I have something that belongs to you." He turned his head to his left and Avery's little head peered out from the doorway.
"Hi, Mom."
"Avery!" Murphy's face lit up with joy and surprise. Avery ran and gave his mother a hug. Then he walked backwards in front of Eldin looking a bit tentative. Eldin tussled the boy's blonde hair at the top of his head. "What are you doing here? Did something happen? I thought you were coming home tomorrow?
"That would have been the general idea if yesterday morning..." Eldin paused for a split second to give Murphy an aside. "After the unfortunate syrup incident." Eldin continued his speech. "I come out into the parking lot to find this fellow asleep in back of my van."
"Avery! How did you ever get to Vermont from Virginia? And please don't tell me you hitchhiked because if you did I may have to use some old motherly phrases I told myself I would never say."
Eldin brought the boy's bags in from the front stoop.
"That never stopped you before, Mom?"
"Yes, well adults say at lot a things, Honey, but they don't always end up doing or saying what they had first said they wanted to do. The point is that we try."
"Mom? If that's what makes an adult? Does that mean the president is a child? You're always saying he never even "tried" what he said he was going to do?"
"No, Honey, that just makes him a man."
"Don't be telling the child things like that!" Eldin covered Avery's ears with his hands. "You'll be giving him complexes." He lifted his hands off Avery's ears.
"I'm sorry!" Her voice was a raspy snarl, as she eyed Eldin with one of her famous looks. She looked down at Avery and changed her voice to sweet mode. "Avery, I take that back. The President isn't a man." She smiled slyly at Eldin. "Now how did you get to Vermont, you didn't hitch hike, did you?"
"I don't think an eleven-year-old would even know how to hitch hike. He took the bus. Which I reprimanded him for already - for also not being a safe thing to do!" Eldin looked down at him. "You don't know how? Do you?" his voice had concern in it for the boy's well fare.
"Eldin, I'm not eleven." Avery looked up at him. "I'm nine."
"What?" Eldin paused for a moment. "I started working on the house in '88. You were born in '92. So that's eleven!"
"That nine, Eldin." Murphy looked at Eldin strangely, as Eldin started to count backwards from 1992-2001 on his fingers.
"Yes, of course that's nine." He shook his head and wrapped his left hand around the left side of his forehead. "Of course, it's nine years. What's wrong with me? How could I get a thing like that wrong?"
"It's ok, Eldin." Avery looked up at him adoringly.
Murphy looked at him strangely and grabbed on to Avery's shoulders and drew him close. Eldin walked towards the living room in a confused state.
He stopped and looked back at Avery. "Whoa!" He jumped back and motioned towards Avery with his hand. "I swear when I came back from Spain he was much bigger than that!" He shook his head and walked away. "Oh god, I think some of the syrup penetrated my blood/brain barrier." He began to hit the side of his head like he was trying to get water out of his ear.
Murphy watched him walk away and then turned Avery to face her. She leaned down to his level. "Avery. If you were unhappy at camp you could have called me and I would have come get you?"
"It wasn't that I was unhappy, I was just bored."
"You still could have called me?"
"Corky and Uncle Frank were talking at the wedding that this was your time to be alone. And I didn't want to bother you."
She gave the boy a big hug. "Your never bother to me, ok." She peeled the boy away with her arms and looked into his eyes. "Always remember that." She hugged him again. "I'm just glad you're ok. Don't do something like that again." Murphy looked towards the kitchen for a moment. "Avery, come over here." She took his hand and led him over to the staircase. She sat down on the second step and had Avery sit down next to her."
"Do you remember, Peter?"
"A little. He used to lift me up a lot and give me juice boxes and stuff."
"Yes. Well you remember how he fit into our lives, right?"
"He loved you and so he loved me."
"Yes, Well. There's another man in my life and he fits into my life the same way Peter did. Does that make sense?
"I get it, Mom. You have a boyfriend."
"Yeah, that right." She was surprised how grown up her son was.
"I'm glad for you, Mom. You need one."
"Thanks, Avery," she said with a bit of a question mark.
"Now, just to let you know he's going to be living here for a few weeks. Is that, ok? Because, if it's not ok with you, it's not ok with me."
"No, it's fine, Mom."
"Really? That's very grown-up of you, Avery."
"Are you happy, Mom?
"Yes, I am, Honey." Even though Murphy seemed to be telling people that all day it was the first time she was really surprised by her response. Coming from her son she realized she really was happy.
"That's not grown-up of me - that's just common sense."
Murphy smiled again at the maturity of her son. "He's here right now. I'd like you to meet him."
"Is that why I smell food?"
"Yes…"
"You mean I'm going to get to eat real food from now on?"
"Yes. But..."
"Cool."
"Doesn't Eldin cook for you?"
"Yeah, but not all the time. We order a lot."
"You told me he cooked for you?"
"I said that so you wouldn't cook for me."
"Smart boy." Murphy rested her hand on her son's shoulder
"Can I go change my clothes? I got syrup on me in the car." Murphy pulled her sticky hand off her son's shoulder.
"Yes, please."
Avery ran up the stairs. Murphy ran her fingers against her palms to get the stickiness off. She walked into the living room preoccupied on the state of her hand.
Eldin exited the kitchen. "Do you know there is a little man cooking in your kitchen?
"Yes, Eldin, I know."
"Good, because I thought perhaps the syrup was starting to rot the inside my brain." Eldin hit the side of his head with his hand again, but nothing came out. "I know that guy, don't I?" Eldin pointed towards the kitchen.
"Yes. I think you met him a few times."
"He's the one who's not the father?"
"Yes." Murphy frowned
"You're seeing him again?" Eldin's voice was serious and low
"Yes."
"Did you tell, Avery?"
"Just now."
"He took it well?"
"Yes."
"Good." Eldin walked towards the door in good humor.
"Well, if you'll excuse me. I'm going to go home and see if I can get this stuff out of me before it ferments." He stopped and looked at Murphy for a moment. "I'm having the feeling I thought I'd never have, the opportunity to experience the feeling of wearing bowling shoes from the outside in." He rattled his finger inside his left ear and opened the door.
"Eldin, if you don't have your keys, how will you get into your house?" Eldin turned his body towards Murphy.
"There's a small window in the bottom of my basement I can probably shimmy through. The only problem is in order to fit through it I have to be completely naked." Eldin stopped and shot up his hand, in a stop like motion, towards Murphy. "Don't ask me how I found that one out!"
"Have a nice night, Eldin!"
"Yeah. Yeah." Eldin raised his arm up as a signal of his own goodbye and left the townhouse.
"Let me ask you something, Brown." Jerry emerged from the kitchen. "How can a woman with the initials. M.B. have a whole set of flatware with the letters T.W.A?" *
"Avery's here." Murphy had surprise and enthusiasm in her voice at the same time. She was nervous for Jerry.
"Yeah, I figured." His voice was at first soft and serious and then he turned up the volume for his usual barbs. "I saw painter man. He was fiddling with my clam sauce. Why is it every time I'm here he just drifts through this house like Casper the sarcastic ghost?"
"He's Avery's nanny."
"I thought he was a housepainter?"
"He's also the housepainter."
"A house painter? Is that all, Brown? I hope he doesn't charge by the hour?"
"Why is it so hard for people to believe that I hired the same man to take care of my child and paint my house, without there being any type of Hanky Panky going on!"
"Hanky panky, Brown?"
"Never mind." Murphy had a puzzled look on her face.
"I think you just answered your own question there, Brown."
Avery's little feet trampled down the staircase like a hurricane. He ran through the foyer and over to his mother. Jerry smiled awkwardly. Avery stared at Jerry and Jerry stared back.
"Avery, I would like you to meet my friend. This is Jerry Gold."
"Hi." Avery looked at him blankly.
"Nice to meet you, Avery. I've heard a lot about you." Jerry looked up at Murphy with a question mark "is that ok" look on his face. Murphy looked at him as if to say "don't look like you don't know what you're doing." Jerry gave another bewildered look in response.
"Thanks." Avery looked up at his mother. "Can I play video games before I go to bed?"
"Well, we were going to just have dinner."
"Eldin and I had McDonalds on the way home."
"Well, I thought..."
"Can I, Mom?"
"Well, I guess so."
"Thanks!" He ran over to the television and took his game equipment out from under the set.
Murphy walked over to Jerry and took his hand. "You're sure you don't want to have a little something?"
"No, I'm fine Mom."
Jerry gave Murphy a "let it alone look". Murphy looked at Jerry and then walked into the kitchen.
After dinner Murphy walked out of the kitchen ranting on her telephone.
"Because, that's not what I want to do, Todd! No, I don't understand that! How can I do the job I was hired for...no... NO! I can't do my job if every idea I have has to have a stamp of approval on it! The topics I choose... Yes! I'll hold on!" Murphy shot her eyes to the ceiling in disapproval. Jerry walked out of the kitchen with his hands in his pockets. Murphy covered the receiver with her hand.
"Get this! Because my new show is considered in the "specials" category I have to run all my story idea past Sam and Morty in the entertainment division. Two men who thought a show about orangutans solving crimes off the Gulf of Mexico was an example of quality television."
"You could always do a show on cable? No network to deal with there."
"Who would ever do an interview/news program on cable? Hello?" Murphy moved her hand away from the phone and waved Jerry a "wait a moment" hand gesture.
"Yes... No, that's not true! I have valid documentation on that!" Murphy walked towards her desk. "I have it here somewhere?" She rummaged through the desk but found nothing. Murphy reached for her bag next to the desk and then stopped. "HOLD ON!" she snarled and walked towards her den next to the bathroom.
Jerry watched her do all this and then looked over at Avery. He was still on the couch playing his game. Jerry looked at his feet and bounced his head up and down. He took a deep breath and walked towards the couch. He nodded his head again as he tried to think of something to say. His attention was soon taken by the graphics on the television screen. Unsure what he was seeing, Jerry took his glasses out of his pocket, and tried to look harder. Even though he had had Lasik surgery on his eyes they weren't completely perfect.
"What are you playing?"
"It's called Gladiator Space Man." Avery directed all his expression to the screen, rolling his thumbs on the buttons with glee.
"Ah." Jerry looked at the screen with his jaw open. "Is it a good game?"
"A good game? It's best game there is. It had ten sequels!"
"Ah, I see. Because, of course sequels and spin-offs always infers quality." Jerry shook his head in agreement. He scratched the side of his head and looked towards the study for Murphy.
Avery looked at him. "Do you want to play?"
"What? Who me?" Jerry looked at Avery "No, I'm fine."
"That's ok. I know a lot of adults who can't master video games very well." These were fighting words to Jerry.
"I'm sure I could master it. It's not that hard, you just hit a few buttons." Jerry walked closer to the television and peered at it, "Kill a few aliens." Avery handed him the joystick. Jerry looked at it like the unknown object it was to him. "How hard could it be?"
"The red button is to fire and you fly with the joystick." Jerry looked at Avery strangely and sat down. Jerry was about to go where he had never gone before. Avery hit the start bottom. "Ok, see those blue things?"
"Yeah…"
"You kill those. They're your enemy." Jerry started to play the game as best he could. "But don't kill the green ones they're your friends."
"Is that one green or blue?" He squinted at the screen. The screen made a loud sound. "What happened?"
"You hit a meteor."
"And that's bad?"
"You're space dust," Avery chuckled
"I see." He looked at the boy. "Start this thing up again. I think I got the hang of it." Jerry tried to play three more times and each time he failed miserably.
"Maybe you should start out with an easier game?"
"No, I can get this!" Jerry began hitting random buttons on the console.
Avery grabbed it away from Jerry. "You can't even get past this level."
"Well, what level are you on?"
"Fifteen."
"How many are there!"
"Twenty."
"And how long did it take you to get to fifteen?"
"Fourty-eight hours after my birthday. It was a gift."
"Straight?"
"I had to sleep."
"Ok? What else do you have to play?"
"We should start out with a sports game. It's easier. Do you play baseball?" Avery began to look through a box of games on the floor. "The graphics are like really realistic. I recommend it highly."
"So are real trees and grass. I highly recommend those too."
Avery popped up and placed a CD in the game player. By this time, Murphy had peered in on the two. She said nothing and watched them in hiding.
Avery took an extra joystick out and handed it to Jerry. "We'll play together. I'll show you how." Jerry smiled as he wondered if this was called bonding. He really had no idea and took the joystick. Avery picked up the joystick that he had placed next to himself on the couch and explained it all to Jerry.