"Well?" Sydney demanded impatiently. Vaughn twiddled his thumbs; Will played with his hair; Sark stared moodily into the distance. Suddenly, a voice from behind her gave Sydney an answer.

"They were arguing about the correct plural of moose," Weiss stated.

"What? How can they argue about something that's a fact?"

"Beats me. Everyone knows it's mooses."

"Meese."

"Moose!"

"Moosepotami!!" Sydney looked around, and instantly noticed a common

trend. Turning to the only man there who seemed remotely sane, Sydney asked about it.

          "Weiss… why are all of you lacking in shirts?" He shrugged.

          "I was just sunbathing… working on my tan to impress the ladies… who knows about those three." They turned to see Vaughn, Sark, and Will all bickering again. For no apparent reason, the three men all fell silent and began looking around. Will seemed to spot what he was looking for first, as he grinned proudly. A moment later, he pulled his white tank top back over his head. Sark pouted at him as he picked up the shredded remains of his own shirt. Vaughn just shook his head at both of them, feeling a sudden breeze conveniently blow what was left of his shirt away from his chest. He shivered, because obviously when one is wet and the wind is blowing, it gets a tad bit cold. So yes, he did shiver.

          Sydney frowned as she looked at the three men.

          "Was there a point to any of that?" she questioned.

          "There is always a point. Always," Sark said.

          "I'm not so sure about that," Will demurred.

          "Neither am I," Vaughn agreed.

          "Well I am," Sark stated sharply.

          "You're wrong. Again. Didn't we already go over this? You're always wrong!" Vaughn debated.

          "Man, you could argue with him for six months, and he still wouldn't get it," Will noted.

          "Trying to get this guy to see the truth… that's worse than death," Vaughn sighed. Will nodded. Sydney and Weiss exchanged confused glances. Sark glared at everyone.

          "Do you even recall what we're arguing about anymore?" he questioned. Vaughn and Will fell into silent solitude, before glancing to Weiss. He held up his hands quickly.

          "Hey, don't look at me. I'm just a silent observer!" he protested.

          "It's moosepotami," Vaughn huffed. Sark looked at him mildly.

          "Um… actually… I, uh… I think it might be meese after all," Will stuttered. Vaughn whirled on him.

          "What? First you say moose- how utterly goofy is that? - and now, you agree with Sark? On meese?" Will shrugged.

          "It's logical. I mean, goose plural is geese, why wouldn't moose plural be meese?"

          "Mongoose plural is mongooses," Weiss put in mildly.

          "Is it really?" Sydney asked.

          "I think so."

          "Hey, you're supposed to be a silent observer Eric, remember? Silent observers don't speak!" Weiss shrugged.

          "Fine. I'm just going to go get some ham and cheese." He strolled into the house, and Sydney stared after him, wondering where they were. With a shrug, she turned back to the raging debate.

          "I cannot believe you, Will. I mean, you… that… it was a double cross! That's what it was!"

          "What? Don't be ridiculous!"

          "Did you just call me ridiculous?"

          "No! I mean… yes? Wait… did I?"

          "Yes, Will, you did!" With that, Vaughn tackled Will once more. Sark quickly sidestepped the two men, and they splashed into a puddle of mud that had formed after the fight in the pool. Sark smirked and began looking for his bowl of cold stuff… until he realized it had been lost. He sighed sadly and turned his attention to the mud wrestling. Suddenly, a glob of mud flew and hit his head, disrupting his hair, which had somehow returned to normal after the water fight. With a gasp, Sark wiped the mud away. It was quickly replaced by more, as Vaughn and Will thrashed about wildly in the puddle. Now angry, Sark jumped into the midst of the fray.

          Still watching from a distance, Sydney sighed. A moment later, Weiss returned with his ham and cheese. He raised an eyebrow.

          "Ok… I don't know about you, but three guys mud wrestling was not on the top of the list of things I wanted to see today." Sydney grinned to herself. Weiss quickly finished eating his ham and cheese, and then looked around.

          "I need a nice spot to lie down and finish my tanning…" he mumbled. After lengthy consideration, punctuated by the occasional dodging of mud, he finally settled on the perfect spot. With a grin, he began to walk toward it. Sydney had been intently watching the muddy battle, but at Weiss' sudden howl of pain, she turned her attention to him… just in time to see him clutch his left foot, hop around madly on the right foot, and end up tripping into the pool. She quickly ran to his side, finding him sprawled in the shallow pool, the water covering his chest and face. He sat up swiftly, and spat out a mouthful of the liquid.

          "What happened?" Sydney questioned, discreetly shifting her position so she could continue watching Vaughn, Will, and Sark. Will was currently on top… er, winning, anyway… but that soon changed, as Sark took his feet out from under him before getting a faceful of mud from Vaughn. Will pulled on his ankle, and all three were once again reduced to flailing about in the mud.

          "I stepped on that damn spork!" Weiss yowled. Looking away from the entrancing battle, Sydney reached over and picked up the amazing utensil.

          "Wow… it didn't break. Not even a crack in it," she noted. Suddenly, there was silence from the mud pit. Vaughn and Sark were both staring at her; Will was attempting to cleanse himself of some of the mud. Sydney quickly jumped to her feet.

          "What's going on?" she demanded, alarmed.

          "That… is it possible?" Vaughn sounded awed.

          "It may be…" Sark whispered reverently.

          "What?" Sydney screeched.

          "The Great Spork of Rambaldi!" Sark gasped. Sydney looked at the item in her hand. 

          "Spork of Rambaldi… right…"        

          "Not just a spork! The Great Spork!" Sark yelled, taking a step towards her.

"What are you doing in our yard?" an annoyed voice rang out. Everyone turned slowly, recognizing it. Jack stood there, hands on hips, glaring at everyone. Irina stood next to him, looking annoyed. Weiss quickly jumped up and looked at the group.

          "There's just one thing left to do here…" he said solemnly.

          "What might that be?" Irina asked. Weiss looked from her to Sydney, and then nodded to himself.

          "It's the only solution."

          "Well, what is it?" Jack demanded.

          "It's time… for a wet t-shirt contest."

          "Excuse me? Agent Weiss, I am not about to allow you to-" Sydney cut him off.

          "No, wait… I think it's a damn good idea," she said. All of the men looked at her in shock.

          "You do??" She grinned at her mother, who sidled over to her. Jack walked over and stood between Weiss and the three muddy men.

          "Yes… I do." Sydney and Irina exchanged glances. The supposed Great Spork of Rambaldi quite forgotten, everyone watched them intently. Irina turned her back on them, and moments later, whirled back around, hose in hand. With a grin, she flicked it on… and began spraying Jack, Will, Sark, Vaughn, and Weiss. Laughing, Sydney picked up a second hose (hey, everyone has two hoses in the exact same spot, right?) and joined her mother.

          Soon, all traces of mud were gone from Will, Sark, and Vaughn. They, as well as the two other men, were left dripping wet, staring at Sydney and Irina.

          "Sweetheart… now might be a good time to run," Irina noted. Sydney nodded briskly.

          "Agreed." They dropped the hoses and made a break for the house. They were almost at the door when they were intercepted… by one Agent James Lennox.

          "What the hell are you doing here?" Sydney demanded. He shrugged.

          "You think I know?"

          "I guess not… either way, move!" He shook his head.

          "Sorry, can't do that."
          "What? Why not?" He pulled a slip of paper out of his coat pocket.

          "I'm contractually obligated to make sure you don't go into the house." Sydney whirled around to see that she and Irina were trapped. Irina seemed to have other ideas; she pulled back and punched Lennox as hard as she could. He stumbled back into the sliding glass door, and slumped to the ground.

          "Haha!" Irina shouted victoriously. She quickly moved Lennox out of the way, and pulled on the door.

          It didn't budge. She tugged harder, until she almost fell over. Still, it wouldn't move.

          "Uh… mom?" Sydney said timidly.

          "What?" Irina gasped, still yanking on the door. Sydney pointed inside. There stood Marshall, watching Irina in fascination. As soon as her eyes met his, however, he turned and ran. Looking closely, Irina realized that he had locked it. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. Finally, she turned to face five soaked men. As soon as she did so, she was met with a wave of water from a hose held by Jack. Sydney was suffering the same fate. Eventually, the cascade stopped. Irina slowly opened her eyes, releasing a breath as water dripped down her body.

          "Even?" she questioned. Looking around, everyone nodded.

          "Ok." Sydney ran a hand over her face, wiping away as much excess water as she could before she moved down to wring out her wet shirt.

          "All of this… over mooses," Weiss sighed.

          "Meese," Will and Sark said simultaneously. Sark glared at Will, who shrugged.

          "Moosepotami," Vaughn corrected. Sydney rolled her eyes.

          "That's what this is about?" Jack asked incredulously. Everyone else nodded.

          "There is one way to get an answer to your question…" Irina said enigmatically.

          "Oh really? What's that?" Vaughn asked. Irina stared into the sunset for a moment, then frowned. She quickly turned and peered into the house, before focusing again on the sunset.

          "Is something wrong?" Will questioned.

          "Yes… it's just past noon," Irina noted. Everyone swung their gaze to the sunset.

          "Damn Sloane," Sydney mumbled.

          "Hmm… anyway, on to more important subjects. The Great Debate can be solved in one way…" she again trailed off enigmatically, and turned to stare into the sunset. Everyone waited for the answer. There was a long silence. A very long silence. No, seriously, it was really really long. But anyway, Irina eventually broke the long silence, turning back to the rest of the group and nodding wisely.

"The answer… is a road trip!"