Everyone stared at Irina for a long moment… Jack included. She just continued to stare into the distance. Finally, Sark found the nerve to question her.

"A road trip?" Irina nodded.

"Yes. It's the only solution."

"Ok, sounds good. So where are we going? And how do we get there?" Will asked.

"The first stop is Sporkane, Washington. After that, we shall see where the road takes us. As for transportation-" Jack cut her off.

"Sporkane?" Irina glanced around, looking paranoid.

"Spokane. I said Spokane. No 'r' in there."

"Yes there was," Vaughn protested.

"No there wasn't," Irina said tightly.

"Ok, calm down, Spor… Spokane it is. I'm not entirely sure how we'll get there."

"We could always travel on a herd of meese," Will suggested. Sydney flinched; her mind was suddenly filled with visions of the group of seven riding across California and up to Washington… it was a somewhat unsettling image.

"I recall seeing some cars in the driveway earlier," Sark commented.

"We will not touch my Dodge Viper," Irina said quickly.

"Why not?" Weiss asked.

"Er… not enough room." Weiss gave her a suspicious look.

"I think we could all fit into a Ford Focus," Vaughn said idly. There was a long silence, duri… you know what? Actually, it was pretty brief. But it felt really long. Ever had that happen? Where it's really only six seconds, but it feels like six months? Yeah, that's what that silence felt like… so anyway, moving on. There was a long, brief silence, during which everyone stared at Vaughn.

"We'll just pass on that one buddy," Weiss said. Vaughn rolled his eyes, which wandered to the street. Well, they were still in his head, of course, but I just meant he looked towards the street. Little clarification there. Some of you may be prone to confuzion, so I didn't want that to happen.

At any rate, as he glanced to the street, Vaughn caught sight of a little yellow bus parked on the curb.

"Would that work?" he questioned. Will groaned; the little yellow bus brought back some memories he would rather keep repressed. Sark, however, grinned in delight.

"Let's take it!" he crowed. Everyone looked to Irina, who shrugged.

"Fine by me. Who's driving?" Jack raised his hand.

"I will."

"Nooooo!!" Sark howled. Surprised by the outburst, the rest of the people looked at him.

"I want to drive!" he protested.

"What? YOU? You're some kind of psycho killer, and you think we're going to let you drive?" Vaughn asked in disbelief.

"I'm a good driver! I rarely go more than 20 above speed limit, and I don't hit too many people… I promise!"

"No way. You're not driving. That's it, period, end of story," Vaughn stated. Sark began pouting.

"As I said… I'll drive," Jack repeated calmly. Sark's pouty frown deepened, but he didn't argue.

"Umm… before we go…" Vaughn's hesitant voice faltered slightly.

"What?" Irina asked.

"Er… can I get a different shirt? This one is a bit ripped… too ventilated for my taste…" Looking over his shoulder, Irina could see Sydney's eyes widen, and she began shaking her head in protest.

"We own no extra shirts," Irina said firmly.

"Oh." Vaughn's face fell… again, not literally, it's just an expression people… anyway, his face fell, and his eyes were drawn to Lennox's prone form. The agent was beginning to come to his sense, and had just gotten to his feet when his eyes met Vaughn's. Looking down slowly, Lennow realized that his shirt was still in one piece… and dry.

A prime target for a wet, nearly shirtless Michael Vaughn.

As Vaughn began stalking his prey, Sydney quickly formulated a plan of action.

"I'll get the shirt for you!" she called. She then proceeded to tackle Lennox and rip the shirt right off of him… tearing it into 47 pieces in the process. Vaughn groaned.

"Syd… I can't wear that!" Sydney gave him an innocent look.

"Oops?" Vaughn sighed.

"Fine… let's just head to the bus." As they all began moving towards the little yellow bus, Sydney turned to Lennox apologetically.

"Um… sorry about that. It was in my ow… er, your own best interest." Lennox glared at her, and then at his bare chest.

"Yeah…sure it was." She shrugged and released the shreds of his shirt into the wind. He sighed and once again stood up.

"Have a sporktacular day!" Sydney yelled over her shoulder as she ran to catch up with her group at the bus… wow, it almost sounds like she's on a field trip or something. I guess it almost is… but not really.

Once they were on the road, Irina pulled a piece of paper out from somewhere. No one really knows where. It doesn't matter anyway. What does matter is what Irina then proceeded to do with this paper. She held it up for everyone to see, and then began to read it.

"12 Step Program to Conquering the World. Step One: Brai-" she cut herself off quickly and looked around paranoidly (of course that's a word, silly) before laughing nervously.

"Oops… wrong paper." She quickly tucked that away and pulled out a different sheet of paper, which she skimmed over quickly before reading aloud.

"Steps for a Successful Rambaldi Road Trip. Step One: Mode of-" she was cut off by Weiss.

"Wait a minute… what does Rambaldi have to do with mooses?"

"Meese."

"Moosepotami."

"Moose." Everyone looked at Jack in surprise; it was his first contribution to the Great Debate.

"Rambaldi has something to do with everything… don't you know this by now?"

"Good point," Sydney mumbled. Irina nodded before continuing her reading.

"Step One: Find an old wise man."

"Wait a minute… when I interrupted you before, step one was something about mode of something or other." Irina stared at Weiss.

"Oh really?"

"Yes."

"Well, now it has nothing to do with that."

"Um… oh. Ok. Carry on."

"As I was saying: find an old wise man. Ask him for the answer." She folded the paper up and slipped it back where she had gotten it from. They all stared at her, awaiting more.

"Is that it?" Sark asked.

"Yes. Did you expect more?"

"Uh… well, yeah." Irina shrugged.

"Nope, the rest just talks about some kind of silly vision he had." She once again pulled out the paper and began to read.

"I saw an angel dark, a wraith perhaps, attempting to capture the moon. He was infallible. I asked him what he was thinking. 'Little thoughts,' was his reply. And then he fell into eternal damnation, one last word haunting the air… resurgam, he repeated. Over and over. And then, a ladder hit me in the head, and I woke up." Irina folded the paper again.

"What a weird dream," Will said. Irina shrugged again.

"Rambaldi was full of wisdom, and very ahead of his time. For example, did you know that New York is on the east coast because canaries are yellow?" Everyone stared at her in stunned silence.

"Or that monkeys learn to speak so they can tell dolphins that they love them?" This received the same response. Irina sighed.

"Ok… octagons don't fit in circles because rectangles are made of cheese?" Even Jack turned to look at her then. She threw her hands into the air.

"Fine, look at me like I'm crazy! But when it turns out that the blue crayons really are for protein, you'll be wishing you had listened." With that, she stood, moved to the back of the little yellow bus, and sat down to meditate… or maybe to pout… one couldn't quite tell.