Glancing around nervously, the boy frowns. I can't see his face-the only
thing I can see is his back and long-ish brown hair-but somehow I just know
he's very annoyed and maybe a touch worried.
"Where am I?" He asks himself. "What's going on?"
"Relax." Another voice whispers. Turning around, the child tries to find the speaker. I noticed that when he turns, the hall spins so I'm still behind him, never seeing the boy's face. I watch as his head turns to search the hall, looking up and down, right and left.
"Where are you?" He asks cautiously, thinking over each word before he says it. "Why can't I see you?"
"I'm at the end of the hall. Why don't you join me? You like television don't you son? We can talk and watch television." The voice suggests, a touch of laughter running through the words.
"Don't play with me!" The boy demands, as he stays where he was. "Who are you?"
"Don't you remember me?" The voice asked.
"No. Should I?"
"I'm hurt! How could you forget me so easily?"
"Maybe if I saw you face it might....... jog my memory?"
"Behind you." The voice laughs. Jumping around, the boy gasps and backs away from the man who's come up behind him. This time the hall doesn't move, so now I can see the kid's face. It's me! Only younger! "Boo."
"Go....... Gozaburo!" The kid stammers, backing away from the man who now standing in front of.
'Gozaburo?!' I gap, stepping forward to help myself. 'NO! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE! I KILLED YOU! YOU'RE DEAD!'
"Yes, Seto. That's me." Gozaburo smiles at the child me. "Miss me?"
'What's going on?!' I cry out, even though I realize that no one can hear me. Not the man and not the boy. I scream as the hall begins spinning again, making me dizzy. I collapse and lose my lunch. When I finally manage to regain control of my stomach, I look up and see Mokuba standing in the distance.
"Mokuba!" I shout, finally regaining my voice. He looks over at me and waves. I motion for him to come to me, when Gozaburo comes up behind him and grabs my brother's shoulder.
"Hello, Seto." Gozaburo grins at me. Staggering to my feet, I try to wipe the sweat and vomit from my face. Supporting myself with one of the walls, I watch in horror as Pegasus joins Gozaburo. Gozaburo tightens his grip on Mokuba's shoulder and I watch in horror as my brother squirms in pain. I take a step forward before doubling over and throwing up again. Falling to my knees, I try to stand but the pain in my stomach only spreads all over my body. I look up again to yell out, but as I watch, Gozaburo and Pegasus are joined by my board of directors.
"No." I whisper, supporting my body on my hands and knees. "Let him go."
"Pitiful." One of my directors smirks as he punches Mokuba in the gut, causing my brother to scream in pain. I watch in horror as Pegasus kicks him and Gozaburo hauls him to his feet.
"Stop!" I command the men, but they don't listen to me.
"Go on, Seto." A director commands me. "Beg us to stop. Beg like a dog."
"Seto!" Mokuba calls to me as the men continue to beat him. "Help me! Big brother!"
"Please." I beg the men, crawling over to them. Swallowing my disgust at my actions, I crawled forward, ignoring the pain in my stomach. Wiping the sweat from my face again, I hang my head at the humiliation and try to hide the single tear I know is rolling down my face. "Please, stop hurting him. PLEASE!"
"Begging is for weaklings." Gozaburo sneers. "You'll have to be punished, Seto."
I hear Mokuba scream, but can't look up at him. I know they're hitting and kicking him.
"No." I whisper, as Mokuba's screams get louder. He's screaming and crying now that the pain is growing. He calls for me to save him, but I can't stop vomiting. The pain in my body is growing as well and I'm beginning to cough up blood.
"Seto! SAVE ME!" Mokuba pleads with me, as I collapse onto the floor.
"So....... sorry. I've failed....... again." I try to apologize as the blackness that was pushing in on my vision swallows me up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sitting up in bed, I stifle the scream I can feel growing in my throat.
"Bed?" I whisper. "I fell asleep? Oh God, Seto, you idiot."
I throw off the sheets and go to the closet. Pulling out a fresh set of clothes I dress and pull on my trench coat. I walk down to the kitchen and make myself a cup of my extra coffee.
"Um....... Seto?" I hear Mokuba call from the doorway. "What are you doing up?"
"I....... I couldn't sleep." I lie, pouring the coffee from the maker to my cup. I turn to face him and feel myself running a hand through his hair, pushing it off his face. Crouching down next to him, I search his face for any signs of bruising. "Are you all right?"
"Yea." Mokuba nods. "Why wouldn't I be?"
I know I can't answer his question, so I just shake my head and walk him back to his room. Returning to my office, I sit down in my large captain's chair. Sleep seemed to be my heaven and my hell. It offered escape from my problems and the annoying people, but it also held the pain of the dreams. The nightmares had always been with me, ever since I had killed Gozaburo. I can't remember the last time I'd had a decent night sleep. I'd trained myself to get along on highly-caffeinated coffee, five-minute naps and pill-induced unconsciousness.
My doctors-I had three-classify it as insomnia. I think they're full of crap. Insomnia is the prolonged inability to sleep. I can sleep. I get tired. I want to lie down on my bed and take a nap after my work day, officially, ends. But I'd rather not dream. Unfortunately I can't not dream. I can't control the horror that consumes my dreams, either. It's always the same, with slight variations. I always see my younger-self being confronted by Gozaburo, and Pegasus, Gozaburo and my board of directors always beat someone up. Sometimes it's Mokuba; sometimes it's myself. Once or twice it had been Yugi or one of his friends. Every time I beg them to stop while crawling through my own sweat and vomit. Even the memory of the disgrace and humiliation causes my face to burn in shame.
Still, I allow my doctors to think I am insomniac and take the medication and prescriptions they give me. I don't dream when I take them. I remember when I was too proud to lie to my doctors. For a few years, I threw myself into my works in hopes of keeping myself awake that way, but it never worked; I always fell asleep and dreamt. Now I just work all the time so I have something to do while I'm awake, and it's become sort of a habit. I sip my coffee and mentally kick myself for falling asleep tonight. But I hadn't slept in roughly four days, so I glance over at the medicine bottle on my bedside table and back at my coffee. Coffee or pills? Coffee or pills?
"But I'm so tired." I finally admit. Going over to the pills, I dump two into my hand and read the back of the bottle. "'Do not exceed two pills every twenty-four hours.' One more. One more and I'll never have nightmares again. No more dreams. No more....... anything."
I dump a third and fourth pill into my hand and prepare to swallow them. But....... I can't. All I can do is stare at the picture of Mokuba I keep on my private desk.
"What would you do, little brother, if I was to fall asleep? What if I never woak up again?" I ask the picture. "Would you cry?"
"Of course, Seto. Of course I would." Mokuba whispers from his spot at the door.
"Mokuba?" I ask, turning to look at him.
"You're not think about it again, are you Seto?" He asks me. I shake my head, lying to him for the second time that night. "You promised me you'd never leave. Remember?"
"I remember. I won't leave you." I whisper as he climbs onto my lap and hugs me. I return his hug and, after a minute or two, send him back to his room. Putting two of the pills back in the bottle, I take the other two with out water, as I usually do and go to my bed. Taking off my coat, I slip under the covers to waiting for sleep to claim me for the night. Sleep-dark, deep and dreamless-was my heaven. "I won't leave, at least not tonight."
"Where am I?" He asks himself. "What's going on?"
"Relax." Another voice whispers. Turning around, the child tries to find the speaker. I noticed that when he turns, the hall spins so I'm still behind him, never seeing the boy's face. I watch as his head turns to search the hall, looking up and down, right and left.
"Where are you?" He asks cautiously, thinking over each word before he says it. "Why can't I see you?"
"I'm at the end of the hall. Why don't you join me? You like television don't you son? We can talk and watch television." The voice suggests, a touch of laughter running through the words.
"Don't play with me!" The boy demands, as he stays where he was. "Who are you?"
"Don't you remember me?" The voice asked.
"No. Should I?"
"I'm hurt! How could you forget me so easily?"
"Maybe if I saw you face it might....... jog my memory?"
"Behind you." The voice laughs. Jumping around, the boy gasps and backs away from the man who's come up behind him. This time the hall doesn't move, so now I can see the kid's face. It's me! Only younger! "Boo."
"Go....... Gozaburo!" The kid stammers, backing away from the man who now standing in front of.
'Gozaburo?!' I gap, stepping forward to help myself. 'NO! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE! I KILLED YOU! YOU'RE DEAD!'
"Yes, Seto. That's me." Gozaburo smiles at the child me. "Miss me?"
'What's going on?!' I cry out, even though I realize that no one can hear me. Not the man and not the boy. I scream as the hall begins spinning again, making me dizzy. I collapse and lose my lunch. When I finally manage to regain control of my stomach, I look up and see Mokuba standing in the distance.
"Mokuba!" I shout, finally regaining my voice. He looks over at me and waves. I motion for him to come to me, when Gozaburo comes up behind him and grabs my brother's shoulder.
"Hello, Seto." Gozaburo grins at me. Staggering to my feet, I try to wipe the sweat and vomit from my face. Supporting myself with one of the walls, I watch in horror as Pegasus joins Gozaburo. Gozaburo tightens his grip on Mokuba's shoulder and I watch in horror as my brother squirms in pain. I take a step forward before doubling over and throwing up again. Falling to my knees, I try to stand but the pain in my stomach only spreads all over my body. I look up again to yell out, but as I watch, Gozaburo and Pegasus are joined by my board of directors.
"No." I whisper, supporting my body on my hands and knees. "Let him go."
"Pitiful." One of my directors smirks as he punches Mokuba in the gut, causing my brother to scream in pain. I watch in horror as Pegasus kicks him and Gozaburo hauls him to his feet.
"Stop!" I command the men, but they don't listen to me.
"Go on, Seto." A director commands me. "Beg us to stop. Beg like a dog."
"Seto!" Mokuba calls to me as the men continue to beat him. "Help me! Big brother!"
"Please." I beg the men, crawling over to them. Swallowing my disgust at my actions, I crawled forward, ignoring the pain in my stomach. Wiping the sweat from my face again, I hang my head at the humiliation and try to hide the single tear I know is rolling down my face. "Please, stop hurting him. PLEASE!"
"Begging is for weaklings." Gozaburo sneers. "You'll have to be punished, Seto."
I hear Mokuba scream, but can't look up at him. I know they're hitting and kicking him.
"No." I whisper, as Mokuba's screams get louder. He's screaming and crying now that the pain is growing. He calls for me to save him, but I can't stop vomiting. The pain in my body is growing as well and I'm beginning to cough up blood.
"Seto! SAVE ME!" Mokuba pleads with me, as I collapse onto the floor.
"So....... sorry. I've failed....... again." I try to apologize as the blackness that was pushing in on my vision swallows me up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sitting up in bed, I stifle the scream I can feel growing in my throat.
"Bed?" I whisper. "I fell asleep? Oh God, Seto, you idiot."
I throw off the sheets and go to the closet. Pulling out a fresh set of clothes I dress and pull on my trench coat. I walk down to the kitchen and make myself a cup of my extra coffee.
"Um....... Seto?" I hear Mokuba call from the doorway. "What are you doing up?"
"I....... I couldn't sleep." I lie, pouring the coffee from the maker to my cup. I turn to face him and feel myself running a hand through his hair, pushing it off his face. Crouching down next to him, I search his face for any signs of bruising. "Are you all right?"
"Yea." Mokuba nods. "Why wouldn't I be?"
I know I can't answer his question, so I just shake my head and walk him back to his room. Returning to my office, I sit down in my large captain's chair. Sleep seemed to be my heaven and my hell. It offered escape from my problems and the annoying people, but it also held the pain of the dreams. The nightmares had always been with me, ever since I had killed Gozaburo. I can't remember the last time I'd had a decent night sleep. I'd trained myself to get along on highly-caffeinated coffee, five-minute naps and pill-induced unconsciousness.
My doctors-I had three-classify it as insomnia. I think they're full of crap. Insomnia is the prolonged inability to sleep. I can sleep. I get tired. I want to lie down on my bed and take a nap after my work day, officially, ends. But I'd rather not dream. Unfortunately I can't not dream. I can't control the horror that consumes my dreams, either. It's always the same, with slight variations. I always see my younger-self being confronted by Gozaburo, and Pegasus, Gozaburo and my board of directors always beat someone up. Sometimes it's Mokuba; sometimes it's myself. Once or twice it had been Yugi or one of his friends. Every time I beg them to stop while crawling through my own sweat and vomit. Even the memory of the disgrace and humiliation causes my face to burn in shame.
Still, I allow my doctors to think I am insomniac and take the medication and prescriptions they give me. I don't dream when I take them. I remember when I was too proud to lie to my doctors. For a few years, I threw myself into my works in hopes of keeping myself awake that way, but it never worked; I always fell asleep and dreamt. Now I just work all the time so I have something to do while I'm awake, and it's become sort of a habit. I sip my coffee and mentally kick myself for falling asleep tonight. But I hadn't slept in roughly four days, so I glance over at the medicine bottle on my bedside table and back at my coffee. Coffee or pills? Coffee or pills?
"But I'm so tired." I finally admit. Going over to the pills, I dump two into my hand and read the back of the bottle. "'Do not exceed two pills every twenty-four hours.' One more. One more and I'll never have nightmares again. No more dreams. No more....... anything."
I dump a third and fourth pill into my hand and prepare to swallow them. But....... I can't. All I can do is stare at the picture of Mokuba I keep on my private desk.
"What would you do, little brother, if I was to fall asleep? What if I never woak up again?" I ask the picture. "Would you cry?"
"Of course, Seto. Of course I would." Mokuba whispers from his spot at the door.
"Mokuba?" I ask, turning to look at him.
"You're not think about it again, are you Seto?" He asks me. I shake my head, lying to him for the second time that night. "You promised me you'd never leave. Remember?"
"I remember. I won't leave you." I whisper as he climbs onto my lap and hugs me. I return his hug and, after a minute or two, send him back to his room. Putting two of the pills back in the bottle, I take the other two with out water, as I usually do and go to my bed. Taking off my coat, I slip under the covers to waiting for sleep to claim me for the night. Sleep-dark, deep and dreamless-was my heaven. "I won't leave, at least not tonight."