Salvation. It's beautiful really. Hope, too. But I can't exactly
remember what hope is like. I know it's wonderful and beautiful. No, not
beautiful. I remember hope being....... magnificent. Oh, but you don't
care what I can recall, do you? I've forgotten it and it's forgotten me.
Or has it forgotten me? No, I think it has merely forsaken me. And I
suppose that's all there is too it, really.
I remember that I used to believe that salvation could be found in people. But then I grew up and lost those childish ideas and dreams. Salvation can't be found in people or ideas. Well, that's not exactly true. HE used to be my salvation. HE used to be my deliverance, if you can believe that. I lived for HIM, as clichéd as that sounds. If it hadn't been for HIM, I think I would have thought to seek out salvation sooner. And, perhaps, I would have taken what it offered without a second thought or hesitation.
I wouldn't say it was HIS fault that I found salvation, it's not, even though he gave it to me. In fact, I didn't really find it. It just came to me. It's like when you're walking down the street and suddenly you trip over a wallet filled with money. You weren't looking for it, it just found you. Anyway, I wasn't looking for it. I hadn't needed it yet. I still had HIM, then. Then I had a purpose and a reason. To make HIM better than I ever could have been or was. To make HIM happy and keep HIM safe. You see, that's because when I meet the Devil, the Anti-HIM, I sort of gave up on myself. You can't really have much hope for the dead, can you?
Yes, I died. A person can only take so many beatings, so many words and so many threats before they begin the slow process of death. After a year with the Anti-HIM, I caved. I began to die and after three years of my slow death, I passed on and became nothing more than a ghost. I still remember the day that I fully died. March 24. That's the day I died and I killed the Anti-HIM. Sometimes, on March 24, I sit down and toast the Anti- HIM. After all it's not everyday your adopted son kills you, is it?
At first I didn't know I was dying or that I had died. Most people don't I suspect. It's subtle and different for everyone. With me, I began to die when I couldn't care anymore. So what if he hurt me? So what if I hurt others? I didn't care; hell, I couldn't care! That's when it began, really. After that, I started to hurt others for no reason. I became ruthless and unnecessarily cruel with others. I never used my manners on anyone lower than myself, but there was no one I regarded as higher than I, except for HIM; HE was always better then me. Rude and cruel, I began cocky and uncaring. Then....... I snapped. I died. At that moment I didn't even care about myself or what happened to me. Oh, I cared about HIM, just not myself. So I killed the Anti-HIM. Pushed him out a window. March 24.
And that is how I died. After that, all I had was my hope and my salvation....... all of which I placed in HIM. I suppose it's true what they say. You shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. It would have proven to be my downfall. If I wasn't already dead, that is. But it doesn't really matter now. I did what I set out to do. HE's happy. HE's safe. In fact, last week I attended HIS wedding.
So, with my reason fulfilled, what will I do? What does a machine do, when it has served its function? Sometimes they are reprogrammed, or taken apart to be used with other machines. But I'm too old and worn for that. I am almost thirty now. Sometimes they put machines in the back room to rust and fall apart on their own, but I refuse to die as such. You see? My pride continues with me, even to the end. I suppose the only other option is to be thrown away. Like the box you receive a gift in, no? Once used the box is discarded and forgotten. Most people would be sad at such a fact, but I'm not. No, really! I've known, since I realized my purpose that it would come to this. So, now that it has come to pass, I have restarted my search for salvation. And I found it, though I'd had it for a long time before this.
I've decided to wait....... for March 24. Dramatic irony, if you will, though it has been quite a few years since I first died. I do think it would be a good idea to die, for the second time, on the same date as my first death. I would hate for there to be any confusion on the tombstone....... if there is one. Oh well.
You know, I've just re-read this entire message, and I see now that my reasons for sending this are confused and muddled. But then again, so am I, in reality. I could go through and edit this, but then, that would take to much time and I am a very busy man. I'm not sure why I'm sending this E- mail to you, puppy. I mean, sending this pathetic explanation is one thing, no matter how embarrassing this is, but to you?!
Don't get this e-mail wrong, I still think you're an idiot. But you're a loyal idiot. You've always struck me as loyal and brave and I've always respected you for that. Loyalty is one thing I never had and never could give. I always wanted to try it but I suppose I was too scared to give my loyalty to anyone, except HIM. I've always been loyal to HIM.
But perhaps the real reason I'm sending this to you is because I know you will understand what I am saying and, because of that, you will not try to do anything about it. I can't send this to Yugi or his Yami or one of your other friends. They would never see or understand this like you can. You see, I know your father beats you. I've got ears and eyes. Unlike you friends, I can recognized the symptoms. I used to carry them myself, you know.
At any rate, now is when I'm going to lower myself to asking a favor of you, puppy. Please watch out for HIM for me? My job may be done but I still worry about him. I think I always will.
I've left HIM the entire company. And, I've even given you and your friends a little something, though I expect you'll think it's a very big something. As you can see everything is in order. The company. My money and bills. Even my things are to be sold or given to specific people. Like, my deck, which I've left to Yugi and his Yami, to do with as they wish. Except for one of my precious dragons, which I have left to HIM.
Well, it seems I must go puppy. I've got a last minute meeting with my lawyer.
Seto Kaiba
P.S.- Try not to die puppy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I click the send button and stand up from my desk. The last line had been a lie. I didn't need to see my lawyer. I'd already told him that my affairs were in order. Pulling out a bottle of wine from my desk, I opened it and raised it towards the ceiling.
"Well, my devil." I whispered, after I took a sip. "It's been a while, hasn't it? But my purpose is done and I have no more causes to finish, so it's time to end this. I told the puppy I had already died, and I have. You killed me, you bastard. But it's left to me to finish the job."
I opened my top drawer and pulled out a small bundle of cloth. Opening it, I checked the small pistol in my hand and turned it over.
To Seto ~ From Mokuba
"Thanks, Mokuba." I whisper as I walk over to the window. I open it and look out over the street. "Twenty-four floors. Ironic, huh, Gozaburo?"
Grinning to myself, I placed the gun to my head and tipped over the edge as I pulled the trigger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wha?! FUCKIN' SHIT!" I screamed, pushing away from his computer in panic. I hadn't expected this! Then again, no one expects suicide notes to pop up in their e-mail. Jumping up, I ran for the door, pulling on my jacket. Half way down the street, my cell phone rang and I opened it on the run. "Yea?"
"Ya hear, man?" Tristan asked.
"Hear what?" I gasped as I ran around the corner.
"Kaiba took the plunge and I mean literally! Jeez. Twenty-plus floors. Actually, seems he blew himself away with some sort of gun first and just fell out the window."
"He....... He's dead?" I whispered, as I slowed to a stop. I was too late. "Tristan? What day is it? What's the date?"
"The date? Uh, March twenty-fourth."
AN: So, what'd ya think? I've decided to put the AN at the end so it won't disrupt the story. The story actually started out as just a rambleing train of thought and then it worked it's way into an e-mail to Joey (Do not ask! I just couldn't see him writing a suicide note to anyone but Joey. He sort of explains that bit) and then those small POV bits............ let's just say I have NO idea what the F*** I was smoking. It's rather different, ne? Most people have Seto killing himself because Mokuba died (Even I do! See 'Goodby'), but I've never seen one where Kaiba kills himself because Mokuba grew up. Anyway. Review, because I'm not sure if it's any good.
OH! HIM: Mokuba; Anti-HIM: Gozaburo
I remember that I used to believe that salvation could be found in people. But then I grew up and lost those childish ideas and dreams. Salvation can't be found in people or ideas. Well, that's not exactly true. HE used to be my salvation. HE used to be my deliverance, if you can believe that. I lived for HIM, as clichéd as that sounds. If it hadn't been for HIM, I think I would have thought to seek out salvation sooner. And, perhaps, I would have taken what it offered without a second thought or hesitation.
I wouldn't say it was HIS fault that I found salvation, it's not, even though he gave it to me. In fact, I didn't really find it. It just came to me. It's like when you're walking down the street and suddenly you trip over a wallet filled with money. You weren't looking for it, it just found you. Anyway, I wasn't looking for it. I hadn't needed it yet. I still had HIM, then. Then I had a purpose and a reason. To make HIM better than I ever could have been or was. To make HIM happy and keep HIM safe. You see, that's because when I meet the Devil, the Anti-HIM, I sort of gave up on myself. You can't really have much hope for the dead, can you?
Yes, I died. A person can only take so many beatings, so many words and so many threats before they begin the slow process of death. After a year with the Anti-HIM, I caved. I began to die and after three years of my slow death, I passed on and became nothing more than a ghost. I still remember the day that I fully died. March 24. That's the day I died and I killed the Anti-HIM. Sometimes, on March 24, I sit down and toast the Anti- HIM. After all it's not everyday your adopted son kills you, is it?
At first I didn't know I was dying or that I had died. Most people don't I suspect. It's subtle and different for everyone. With me, I began to die when I couldn't care anymore. So what if he hurt me? So what if I hurt others? I didn't care; hell, I couldn't care! That's when it began, really. After that, I started to hurt others for no reason. I became ruthless and unnecessarily cruel with others. I never used my manners on anyone lower than myself, but there was no one I regarded as higher than I, except for HIM; HE was always better then me. Rude and cruel, I began cocky and uncaring. Then....... I snapped. I died. At that moment I didn't even care about myself or what happened to me. Oh, I cared about HIM, just not myself. So I killed the Anti-HIM. Pushed him out a window. March 24.
And that is how I died. After that, all I had was my hope and my salvation....... all of which I placed in HIM. I suppose it's true what they say. You shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. It would have proven to be my downfall. If I wasn't already dead, that is. But it doesn't really matter now. I did what I set out to do. HE's happy. HE's safe. In fact, last week I attended HIS wedding.
So, with my reason fulfilled, what will I do? What does a machine do, when it has served its function? Sometimes they are reprogrammed, or taken apart to be used with other machines. But I'm too old and worn for that. I am almost thirty now. Sometimes they put machines in the back room to rust and fall apart on their own, but I refuse to die as such. You see? My pride continues with me, even to the end. I suppose the only other option is to be thrown away. Like the box you receive a gift in, no? Once used the box is discarded and forgotten. Most people would be sad at such a fact, but I'm not. No, really! I've known, since I realized my purpose that it would come to this. So, now that it has come to pass, I have restarted my search for salvation. And I found it, though I'd had it for a long time before this.
I've decided to wait....... for March 24. Dramatic irony, if you will, though it has been quite a few years since I first died. I do think it would be a good idea to die, for the second time, on the same date as my first death. I would hate for there to be any confusion on the tombstone....... if there is one. Oh well.
You know, I've just re-read this entire message, and I see now that my reasons for sending this are confused and muddled. But then again, so am I, in reality. I could go through and edit this, but then, that would take to much time and I am a very busy man. I'm not sure why I'm sending this E- mail to you, puppy. I mean, sending this pathetic explanation is one thing, no matter how embarrassing this is, but to you?!
Don't get this e-mail wrong, I still think you're an idiot. But you're a loyal idiot. You've always struck me as loyal and brave and I've always respected you for that. Loyalty is one thing I never had and never could give. I always wanted to try it but I suppose I was too scared to give my loyalty to anyone, except HIM. I've always been loyal to HIM.
But perhaps the real reason I'm sending this to you is because I know you will understand what I am saying and, because of that, you will not try to do anything about it. I can't send this to Yugi or his Yami or one of your other friends. They would never see or understand this like you can. You see, I know your father beats you. I've got ears and eyes. Unlike you friends, I can recognized the symptoms. I used to carry them myself, you know.
At any rate, now is when I'm going to lower myself to asking a favor of you, puppy. Please watch out for HIM for me? My job may be done but I still worry about him. I think I always will.
I've left HIM the entire company. And, I've even given you and your friends a little something, though I expect you'll think it's a very big something. As you can see everything is in order. The company. My money and bills. Even my things are to be sold or given to specific people. Like, my deck, which I've left to Yugi and his Yami, to do with as they wish. Except for one of my precious dragons, which I have left to HIM.
Well, it seems I must go puppy. I've got a last minute meeting with my lawyer.
Seto Kaiba
P.S.- Try not to die puppy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I click the send button and stand up from my desk. The last line had been a lie. I didn't need to see my lawyer. I'd already told him that my affairs were in order. Pulling out a bottle of wine from my desk, I opened it and raised it towards the ceiling.
"Well, my devil." I whispered, after I took a sip. "It's been a while, hasn't it? But my purpose is done and I have no more causes to finish, so it's time to end this. I told the puppy I had already died, and I have. You killed me, you bastard. But it's left to me to finish the job."
I opened my top drawer and pulled out a small bundle of cloth. Opening it, I checked the small pistol in my hand and turned it over.
To Seto ~ From Mokuba
"Thanks, Mokuba." I whisper as I walk over to the window. I open it and look out over the street. "Twenty-four floors. Ironic, huh, Gozaburo?"
Grinning to myself, I placed the gun to my head and tipped over the edge as I pulled the trigger.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wha?! FUCKIN' SHIT!" I screamed, pushing away from his computer in panic. I hadn't expected this! Then again, no one expects suicide notes to pop up in their e-mail. Jumping up, I ran for the door, pulling on my jacket. Half way down the street, my cell phone rang and I opened it on the run. "Yea?"
"Ya hear, man?" Tristan asked.
"Hear what?" I gasped as I ran around the corner.
"Kaiba took the plunge and I mean literally! Jeez. Twenty-plus floors. Actually, seems he blew himself away with some sort of gun first and just fell out the window."
"He....... He's dead?" I whispered, as I slowed to a stop. I was too late. "Tristan? What day is it? What's the date?"
"The date? Uh, March twenty-fourth."
AN: So, what'd ya think? I've decided to put the AN at the end so it won't disrupt the story. The story actually started out as just a rambleing train of thought and then it worked it's way into an e-mail to Joey (Do not ask! I just couldn't see him writing a suicide note to anyone but Joey. He sort of explains that bit) and then those small POV bits............ let's just say I have NO idea what the F*** I was smoking. It's rather different, ne? Most people have Seto killing himself because Mokuba died (Even I do! See 'Goodby'), but I've never seen one where Kaiba kills himself because Mokuba grew up. Anyway. Review, because I'm not sure if it's any good.
OH! HIM: Mokuba; Anti-HIM: Gozaburo