I know, it's been forever… sorry! Thanks to my AA readers for prodding me… ;) To show my appreciation to all of you, and make up for taking so long.. this update is almost twice as long as usual, and I'm actually really happy with it {I'm usually not.} So… enjoy!

And ff.net readers: sorry if I didn't catch all the formatting { the [I] kinda stuff} before posting… I tried to, but I think some may have eluded me.

The first five minutes of the bus ride were long, extended, and lengthy… not to mention unending. Sydney and Sark sat next to one another, each doing their best to cover up as much as possible. Jack and Irina spoke in hushed tones at the front, with Vaughn and Weiss complaining bitterly as Will tried to hide in the back.

Heh… hide.

Ahem.

Finally, Vaughn spoke up.

"I'm hungry." Jack glared at him in the rear view mirror.

"Deal with it."

"Actually, I'm rather famished as well," Sark put in.

"Yeah, I kinda am too, Dad," Sydney agreed.

"Ditto," Will peeped in from the back.

"Food sounds pretty good," Weiss added.

"You're a bit outnumbered on this one dear," Irina noted. Jack sighed and slammed on the brakes, frowning as someone behind him laid into the horn.

"Impatient drivers," he muttered. "Now, just where do you propose we all go to, dressed like this?" he inquired.

"Subway!" Sydney called.

"Sizzlers!" Weiss requested.

"McDonalds, naturally," Vaughn suggested.

"Le Cirque at the Hotel Bellagio is fabulous," Sark recommended.

"I like Jack in the Box…" Will chirped meekly. {I really do love him, I swear it!} Irina just smiled enigmatically while Jack glared at everyone, ignoring the angry honking behind them.

"Subway, Sizzlers, and Le Cirque don't have a drive thru," he began.

"McDonald's does!" Vaughn interrupted excitedly. Jack level his gaze on the gladiator.

"True… and it's also, well… McDonalds. Just say no."

"Which leaves us with Jack in the Box," Irina observed.

"And do you know where one is, Mr. Tippin?" Jack questioned.

"Yeah, actually, I do," he called.

"Where?"

"Uh… ok, you know where Caesar's Palace is?" Will asked. Jack nodded and finally stepped on the gas, steering them in the direction of the aforementioned hotel.

"Ok, good… it's nowhere near there." Jack slammed on the brakes again, turning around to stare at Will. Seeing nothing but the bright blue feathers sticking up over the back of the seat, Jack sighed and turned back around.

"Then where is it?"

"Go left up here, and then right, and right, and straight, left, right, left, and there." Jack frowned, but followed Will's directions. A short time later, they were at Jack in the Box. Jack shook his head slowly.

"Forget it. I am not directing a little yellow bus full of freaks through a Jack in the Box drive-thru." Sark jumped up excitedly.

"Ooh, ooh, pick me! Pick me! I will, I'll do it, pick me!" Jack narrowed his eyes, but nodded slowly.

"Fine, Sark, on one condition." Sark suddenly looked nervous, apprehensive, and frightened.

"What might that be?" he asked timidly.

"The second we are out of the drive thru, you will move out of my way, or I will throw you out the window and derive great joy in running you over again and again and again." Sark blinked, but quickly nodded.

"Fine by me," he said.

"What is? Running you over repeatedly?"

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean…" Jack cut him off with a wave of his hand, and Sark took over at the wheel, gleefully guiding the bus.

"Um… is this bus small enough to fit?" Will called. His answer came in the form of metal screeching against the top of the drive thru. Sark shrugged and stepped on the gas, forcing his way through.

"So, Jack… what's this issue you seem to have with drive thrus?" Vaughn asked curiously. Jack looked away uncertainly.

"It stems from… a very traumatizing experience in Alaska, involving a McDonald's drive thru, a pair of sporks, and two slimy fish." Vaughn bit his lip and looked to Weiss, who shrugged.

"Ok… just, forget I even asked…"

"Consider it done." There was a brief silence, with the exception of Sark straining to pull the bus through. Finally, Weiss spoke.

"So… hey, did you know you can get Raiders antenna balls here? I'm no Raiders fan, but let's get one for the bus!" he suggested.

"Why on earth would you find Oakland Raiders antenna balls in Las Vegas?" Sark questioned.

"I don't know, but get one!"

"Welcome to Jack in the Box, may I take your order?" a feminine voice asked. Sark grinned devilishly, and looked over his shoulder.

"Who's ordering what?" he queried. A list was passed forward moments later.

"Ok… we'd like an order of fish and chips with a vanilla shake-"

"Small, medium, or large?" she questioned.

"Medium. We'd also like a Jumbo Jack, curly fries, and a medium lemonade… and-"

"Small, medium, or large?" Sark raised an eyebrow at the question.

"Medium…" he repeated slowly.

"Ok. Anything else?"

"Yes. A sourdough Jack with a small coke, and if you ask 'small, medium, or large? again I shall be forced to kill you. Moving right along, we also need an Asian Chicken Salad with a small iced tea, a Supreme Croissant with a chocolate shake-"

"Small, medium, or large?" Sark growled in annoyance.

"Medium," he gritted out. "Also, a Turkey Jack with a small lemonade- hear that? Small. Small small small. Smaaaaaaaaaaallllll!"

"I'm sorry, did you say small, medium, or large?" With an angry screech, Sark reached for his gun. Irina quickly stopped him.

"Sark, you can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because we don't have our food yet." With an aggrieved sigh, Sark put the gun down and turned around to finish their order.

"Small. And last, a Philly Cheesesteak with an Oreo Cookie shake."

"Small, medium, or large?"

"Medium," he replied pleasantly.

"Anything else for you?"

"Yes… seven orders of cheesecake." She was about to reply when he cut her off. "Ha! You can't say 'small, medium, or large?' to that one!" he crowed triumphantly.

"Will that be all?" he sighed deflatedly.

"Yes."

Your total comes to $32.47, please pull up to the window."

"Oh, one thing- we'd like our order to go."

"Uh… yeah… all drive thru orders are."

"Good. I'm glad we have that settled." He quickly pulled forward to the first window and waited for her to bring their food. Sark watched in amusement as the girl grabbed a pair of sodas and approached the window, only to be startled by the bus awaiting her, thus dropping both sodas, which splattered onto her pants. Sark cackled gleefully, causing everyone on the bus to shoot him a suspicious look. He smiled innocently as the girl once again returned with sodas. She passed them through, followed up by the shakes and the rest of their drinks. Giving him an odd look, she quickly walked away from the window, returning a few minutes later with their food. He took the bags and, after locating his Jumbo Jack, passed it all back.

"Thank you," he said pleasantly.

"You're welcome… have a nice night."

"Yes, you too. Oh, excuse me…"

"Yes?"

"Might I have one of your heads?" she stared up at him blankly, a hint of fear coloring her eyes.

"Umm… a head?" Sark sighed, pointing out the bucket of antenna balls just inside the window.

"Oh, you mean… oh! Ok, sure." She quickly handed him one, then backed away from the window. Sark smirked and headed the bus away from Jack in the Box. Moments later, he felt the coolness of a gun pointing at the back of his head.

"Yes, hello Jack… let me just move out of your way here…" he quickly grabbed his food and returned to his previous seat, and with Jack once again at the helm, they were soon on their way. Feeling bored after he'd finished eating, Vaughn began singing to himself, growing progressively louder- not enough to damage anyone's ears, but enough so that most could hear him. Still in the back, Will strained his hearing in an effort to determine what it was Vaughn was singing. He gasped as he identified the song as something resembling Breathe No More by Evanescence. Deciding that this was important enough to move out of hiding for, he stood up and marched to the front of the bus, impatiently tapping Vaughn's shoulder. The agent stopped singing and glanced up at Will.

"What's up?"

"Is your name Amy Lee?" Will questioned. Looking baffled, Vaughn shook his head.

"No…"

"No?"

"No."

"Ok then… stop singing songs that should only be sung by her!" With an angry noise, Will turned and stalked to the back of the bus. In the process, his… tail feathers smacked Vaughn in the face, leaving him looking even more stricken than he had been before. His frown deepened as he heard Sark laughing at him. Weiss rolled his eyes.

"Never a dull moment…"

A few short hours later, they were somewhere else. Oh, it's true… it's damn true.

And in this somewhere else, Jack was busily driving. This, however, I refuse to verify the truthfulness of. That's right; I'm pleading the 5th.

So anyway, in this somewhere else, wherein Jack may or may not truly be busy driving, stuff happens.

"Will, what you said when we were leaving Vegas really hurt my feelings!" Vaughn protested.

"Too damn bad, Vaughn. The only- and I mean, only- person who should ever- and I mean, ever- sing Evanescence songs is Amy Lee. You're not Amy Lee; therefore, you shouldn't sing Ev. songs."

"Come on, Will, he wasn't all that bad. I mean, none of us went deaf from it, right?" Weiss defended his friend.

"I'm inclined to agree with Mr. Tippin," Sark declared. All eyes turned to Sydney, who looked around in bewilderment.

"Peace offering!" she declared, jumping to her feet and handing out sporks to everyone. Unfortunately, things didn't go quite as planned…

Sark, after taking a moment to admire the gracent genius of the divinely inspired item, jumped into the aisle and viciously poked Vaughn, who yelped loudly- and, it may be said, rather femininely. He, in turn, threw his at Sark, who ducked, thus causing it to bounce off the window and into Weiss' hair. He grew annoyed and shook his head, accidentally flinging the spork at Will, who ended up with it caught in his blue boa. He growled and threw his spork at Vaughn, who actually managed to jump out of the way. Vaughn and Sark then circled one another {in the center of a little yellow bus. Riiight…} and jabbed at each other with their respective weapons. This went on for 12 minutes, with Jack and Irina choosing to ignore their shenanigans.

That is, until Vaughn threw his spork at Sark, missed terribly, and ended up hitting Jack with it. Startled and enraged, Jack stood up and whirled around, quite forgetting that drivers should, in most cases, pay attention to the road in front of them. Instead, he stormed back and punched Vaughn, then Sark, and then- just for good measure- Weiss as well. Will, he figured was already tormented enough, so he left him alone. Then, it occurred to him- he'd left the wheel, with the bus in motion.

Why Irina didn't just take the helm, we may never know.

There was then a loud racket, with lots of screaming and shouting, some obscenities, and otherwise just lots of really loud noise. Jack didn't reach the wheel in time to prevent the bus from flying off a cliff conveniently placed right in the middle of the somewhere they were driving through.

So, the bus hit the bottom, and there was a really big explosion with lots of fire and other pretties, and then they were all dead. Except for Irina, of course; she miraculously survived without a scratch. Amazing, isn't it?

So yes. Everyone's dead… but hey, look at the bright side- at least Will, Sark, Weiss, and Vaughn are all still shirtless.

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Ha. Hahaha. Haaaaaaaahahhahahaaaaaa! I'm just kidding. No, they're not really dead. That'd be a fun ending though, wouldn't it? Haha. Ok, seriously now… they're alive. The last thing that actually happened was the part where they were driving somewhere else. You may have noticed that I said this was true, and that's because it was. After all, I would never lie to you as far as you know. Everything else that happened after that didn't actually happen.

And yes, they are all still shirtless. Rejoice.

So this chapter ends with them driving somewhere, probably on their way to Sporkane. Spokane. Yes, Spokane. One of these days, they may actually make it to their destination…

But not today.