I TURN TO YOU---------------TWO
You were my strength when I was weak
Were my voice when I couldn't speak
From the original song by Celine Dion
[TOMO]
"It's okay." I'm surprised at myself. Normally I would be mad at untidy, careless people. I wouldn't stop at this remark. The cheek and audacity, my inner voice starts up and I hush it. "Don't worry about it. It's so hot anyways, it can dry." I am definitely going crazy. Suboshi explains my fish are smaller, but they will taste sweeter. He has made a small fire and is roasting them.
I feel like someone has finally understood me for my own self. Purely that sake. Accepted me. he did praise me, which makes up for what that bitch utters half the time! I want to tell him how nice he is, how grateful I am, but it's too embarrassing. Instead I listen nodding at the right places while Suboshi explains how to use the reeds to tie fishing lines. I find it quite fun to do this. I get it right the second time. The sadness comes back when lapses of silence return.
"Suboshi, don't pretend."
"What?" he asks defensively
"That you're happy. Your aniki was a good man, a fine musician." Tears fill his eyes to my dismay. No I didn't mean to make you cry,
"Please it's ok. Don't." I urge, reaching for his shoulder. He turns away and sobs. "Don't---------don't aniki would be, it's his wish for me to be happy for him! He wouldn't hurt my feelings. Why did he die? Why why why?"
Hesitantly and wondering if he will get annoyed like I do, I hug him against myself with an arm. He sniffles, accepting my comfort. Just being there for him, his aniki would have wanted this. I feel happier at the thought. The suzakus will pay dearly for their crime. Nakago sama knew Amiboshi was pushed into the raging river. They had let him die.
"Tomo," he is husky, blinking more tears away and glancing up "They killed Aniki?"
"Um-hm they pushed him off the crumbling wall and stared unblinkingly as he was washed away." The boy's face contorts into a wail and anger flashes in the bright blue eyes. His voice raised he yells "I'LL KILL THEM THIS INSTANT! THE BLOODY FUCKERS! I WILL AVENGE ANIKI!"
[SOI]
I wonder where the brat has gone. It must be him who has taken my favourite mirror. But I don't blame him. He's been so depressed and quiet for the past few days. So's Tomo the okama freak and that's nothing unusual. The man has a lot of airs I'm uncomfortable with! The masks, the cynicalities, the elaborations. I hate these. I mean I'm sad too but you don't see me wearing funny costumes. He acts as if he were Nakago himself!
I didn't mean to barge in that day. Just went right in, on him removing his cloak, stripping down to nakedness. His shin lay open on the table. I was so fascinated by the curves and effeminity of his form I had forgotten about knocking or asking for permission. He turned his plain face towards me, immediately snapping I was some busybody, unruly, idiotic, damned prostitute in seventh hell. Talk about rudeness, I haven't called him more than clown and freak yet! My ability to charm men means I am able to manipulate chi by sleeping with another person, and it is practiced during bed times, but not because I'm happy to do that.
"Have a good mind to kick your ass! Stop raving for once and Listen! Thanks for the ride you gave me when my boot broke." The goldens glinted harshly. He went on, without listening to me it seemed, with arguments on how illmannered I was behaving and so on, and how much he disliked me. That said, the clown returned to his mirror and touched his bare face as if checking for my contamination.
Someone bumps into me, his clothes dirty with wet snork and tears, and stops, rubbing his eyes.
"What is it, Shunchan? You need a shower, come I'll take you," I welcome him, ushering him to the stalls. Nakago smirks. Yui is conversing with Ashitare and Miboshi. The only human ones are me and Nakago and the twins. The others are mentally disoriented and need guidance. We can---------never be like the Suzakus in their unity right? It is so sad.
"The bloody fucks! I damn them to hell! I will never forgive them! Not in myother lifetimes too!" he shouts, facing me.
"Suboshi what are you talking about? What and who?" I shake him.
"They killed him, they killed aniki. Isn't it right? Nakago said so," Shunkaku in a soft and tired voice.
"Naniyo? Who told you that?"
"Tomo san. And he's right,I should go and kill the assholes1 they deserve nothing but a horrible death worse than hell!"
"Wait wait, you cannot! You ain't strong enough, you'll only die too!"
"I don't care at all! Let me go, hanase! Hanase! I want to join my brother. He's lonely there! You all never understand me! Not how I feel. I hate you!" I stop the okama. He looks more friendly today and I regret havingto be frank now.
"Yes what may I help you with?"
"HOW dare you put revenge into Suboshi's head? He almost got killed when he suicided into Tamahome's family! Do you know I went to rescue him? No, right? Vain and selfcentred user. You're just using Suboshi to help your glorious plans to rise to Nakago's favour!" I throw at him. "And why don't you op en that clam mouth and Speak in your own defence?"
"Step aside, Soi. I'm on urgent business." He looks behind me, anxiously.
"Answer me this, why did you put revenge into his head?"
"I didn't. He was Bent on that long ago.," the okama replies calmly, Iceprince tone. I colour. Damn my mouth, always wagging freely without caring what happens else! Why do I make this error in front of Tomo? "Suboshi why did you-------- I thought-----------"
"You will never understand me! Leave me alone!" we call to him, Tomo going after him. Yui intercepts him, slaps his face and snaps: ' don't make a ruckus. We need to do more important stuff!' I really hate the girl then. She orders me to stay. I ignore her and move on, coz I have chores to do. I feel sorry for the poor boy, he didn't recover from his aniki's disappearance then. I'm glad I never had to lose such a close link with anyone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Tomo."
"Hai come in Soi," he speaks, wiping away the last white patch on his left cheek. Underneath his eyes are tired. "What do you want?"
I straighten my phrases out, carefully rehearsed. "Sorry. I accused you about the thing. Just now, Suboshi said----like it was you who------- and I thought. He never lies,"
"Umhm, he's very distraught over Amiboshi. I wish I hadn't told him those facts. It should be only with us, the damage is done."
I start thinking and move closer. Tomo looks up, meeting my gaze. My curiosity is paid in, and I'm rewarded by a slight serenity on the latter's face. "Are--------are you sure Nakago told you about the incident? I'm not sure the Suzakus are the type to kill people. They're not warriors. "
"It isn't true? I'm not sure either, he did tell me, yes. In the exact words." Next step, I carress his shiny locks, flowing over one shoulder secured by a thin rubber band. It smells fragrant. I forget and breathe in the scent, smiling.
"What are you so happy about oh my hair... I used the new formula, olive shampoo. It does wonders, making it shine. I could let you have a sample," he replies generously. I'm touched and keep my clumsy dirt hands away. Tomo seems tired out. Is he sick?
"Thank you, I will." He hands me a halfused bottle. I sniff at the formulae. He laughs gently, happily. The man moves to is bed and lies down on his back. "Why are you being so nice to me? And me too, normally we would be quarreling after a few minutes of civilized behaviour?"
"Look there. Do you see our star patterns, Soi? Nakago's, yours and mine. They're perfect up there. You and me and right next to each other, Scorpious and Libra." I trace the patterns with the help of his index finger. Tomo closes his eyes and sighs. Suddenly I'm all worried and I touch his brow to make sure. He wakes up. I'm embarrassed.
"Hey go to sleep. We've got an expedition tomorrow. Let's bring Suboshi, then he won't think too much. It won't be dangerous, coz it's just to check out the place as to [here he frowns to recall] make sure we can set camp there. Xinjiang."
"What time?"
"Six o'clock don't be late. Courtyard." I agree and clutching the shampoo, run off to bed.
[SUBOSHI]
I don't ever want to wake up. Aniki and me are so close together! I have almost asked him where he is when I feel shaking. No, no I don't want to move yet! Sleep, sleep, Golden eyes blink as I come round, yawning.
"What? Must I? It's only just past six."
"Yes. You're coming with us. We're going on a mission." I jump up mimicking the action. Sound effects to accompany the swords clanging. Tomo laughs. "Okay that's it. We' re late. C'mon!" I feel very happy walking beside Tomo, tall and imposing. He doesn't mind that he's taking me out, me the baby! When aniki was gone, I'm the youngest left and they leave me at home here to babysit. Maybe I'm dreaming. Am I dreaming? Tomo squeezes my shoulder. The horses and Soi. She stops looking grumpy. A glance is exhchanged.
I read it as don't-not-in-front-of-the-kid. Don't squabble, don't fight? Aniki, peace always works. If only you will tell me that now. Will you miss me as much as I do now?
Now we're over open grassland. I'm behind Tomo and Soi, my stupid horse doesn't want to move faster, though I've kicked him hard. Then I feel sorry and apologise. He whinnies, cantering so I catch up. Then I sense the bloodthirsty chi. Tomo tells us to get ready, opening shin, lashing its vines and crushing a monster creature. It's dripping green blood hanging its jaws open on the floor. The full fight begins now. Soi strikes some of them with a lightning bolt, and summons a storm covering us. Lightning streaks down beside us, avoiding is and killing the horrors with a smell of burnt flesh. I lash out with my ryuuseisui, calling upon each round metal with ease. In addition we also use our swords and knives. The air is heavy with groans, panting, stinking blood. Then the soldiers of darkness stop forming. Arrows come. I jump off my horse, and I crumbles beside me. I'm feeling light headed.
Soi is panting, her fingers smoking. A few of those archers are down, and more are returning fire. I collapse and draw breath. Then a black hand reaches for my face. I slash at it. Arrows rain down. From all directions. I look up.
"Tomo! Tomo san! damnit!" her voice is loud. I stagger towards them.
Tomo gasps, an arrow sticking out between his shoulders, the tip stained with blood, and has penetrated through his back.
You were my strength when I was weak
Were my voice when I couldn't speak
From the original song by Celine Dion
[TOMO]
"It's okay." I'm surprised at myself. Normally I would be mad at untidy, careless people. I wouldn't stop at this remark. The cheek and audacity, my inner voice starts up and I hush it. "Don't worry about it. It's so hot anyways, it can dry." I am definitely going crazy. Suboshi explains my fish are smaller, but they will taste sweeter. He has made a small fire and is roasting them.
I feel like someone has finally understood me for my own self. Purely that sake. Accepted me. he did praise me, which makes up for what that bitch utters half the time! I want to tell him how nice he is, how grateful I am, but it's too embarrassing. Instead I listen nodding at the right places while Suboshi explains how to use the reeds to tie fishing lines. I find it quite fun to do this. I get it right the second time. The sadness comes back when lapses of silence return.
"Suboshi, don't pretend."
"What?" he asks defensively
"That you're happy. Your aniki was a good man, a fine musician." Tears fill his eyes to my dismay. No I didn't mean to make you cry,
"Please it's ok. Don't." I urge, reaching for his shoulder. He turns away and sobs. "Don't---------don't aniki would be, it's his wish for me to be happy for him! He wouldn't hurt my feelings. Why did he die? Why why why?"
Hesitantly and wondering if he will get annoyed like I do, I hug him against myself with an arm. He sniffles, accepting my comfort. Just being there for him, his aniki would have wanted this. I feel happier at the thought. The suzakus will pay dearly for their crime. Nakago sama knew Amiboshi was pushed into the raging river. They had let him die.
"Tomo," he is husky, blinking more tears away and glancing up "They killed Aniki?"
"Um-hm they pushed him off the crumbling wall and stared unblinkingly as he was washed away." The boy's face contorts into a wail and anger flashes in the bright blue eyes. His voice raised he yells "I'LL KILL THEM THIS INSTANT! THE BLOODY FUCKERS! I WILL AVENGE ANIKI!"
[SOI]
I wonder where the brat has gone. It must be him who has taken my favourite mirror. But I don't blame him. He's been so depressed and quiet for the past few days. So's Tomo the okama freak and that's nothing unusual. The man has a lot of airs I'm uncomfortable with! The masks, the cynicalities, the elaborations. I hate these. I mean I'm sad too but you don't see me wearing funny costumes. He acts as if he were Nakago himself!
I didn't mean to barge in that day. Just went right in, on him removing his cloak, stripping down to nakedness. His shin lay open on the table. I was so fascinated by the curves and effeminity of his form I had forgotten about knocking or asking for permission. He turned his plain face towards me, immediately snapping I was some busybody, unruly, idiotic, damned prostitute in seventh hell. Talk about rudeness, I haven't called him more than clown and freak yet! My ability to charm men means I am able to manipulate chi by sleeping with another person, and it is practiced during bed times, but not because I'm happy to do that.
"Have a good mind to kick your ass! Stop raving for once and Listen! Thanks for the ride you gave me when my boot broke." The goldens glinted harshly. He went on, without listening to me it seemed, with arguments on how illmannered I was behaving and so on, and how much he disliked me. That said, the clown returned to his mirror and touched his bare face as if checking for my contamination.
Someone bumps into me, his clothes dirty with wet snork and tears, and stops, rubbing his eyes.
"What is it, Shunchan? You need a shower, come I'll take you," I welcome him, ushering him to the stalls. Nakago smirks. Yui is conversing with Ashitare and Miboshi. The only human ones are me and Nakago and the twins. The others are mentally disoriented and need guidance. We can---------never be like the Suzakus in their unity right? It is so sad.
"The bloody fucks! I damn them to hell! I will never forgive them! Not in myother lifetimes too!" he shouts, facing me.
"Suboshi what are you talking about? What and who?" I shake him.
"They killed him, they killed aniki. Isn't it right? Nakago said so," Shunkaku in a soft and tired voice.
"Naniyo? Who told you that?"
"Tomo san. And he's right,I should go and kill the assholes1 they deserve nothing but a horrible death worse than hell!"
"Wait wait, you cannot! You ain't strong enough, you'll only die too!"
"I don't care at all! Let me go, hanase! Hanase! I want to join my brother. He's lonely there! You all never understand me! Not how I feel. I hate you!" I stop the okama. He looks more friendly today and I regret havingto be frank now.
"Yes what may I help you with?"
"HOW dare you put revenge into Suboshi's head? He almost got killed when he suicided into Tamahome's family! Do you know I went to rescue him? No, right? Vain and selfcentred user. You're just using Suboshi to help your glorious plans to rise to Nakago's favour!" I throw at him. "And why don't you op en that clam mouth and Speak in your own defence?"
"Step aside, Soi. I'm on urgent business." He looks behind me, anxiously.
"Answer me this, why did you put revenge into his head?"
"I didn't. He was Bent on that long ago.," the okama replies calmly, Iceprince tone. I colour. Damn my mouth, always wagging freely without caring what happens else! Why do I make this error in front of Tomo? "Suboshi why did you-------- I thought-----------"
"You will never understand me! Leave me alone!" we call to him, Tomo going after him. Yui intercepts him, slaps his face and snaps: ' don't make a ruckus. We need to do more important stuff!' I really hate the girl then. She orders me to stay. I ignore her and move on, coz I have chores to do. I feel sorry for the poor boy, he didn't recover from his aniki's disappearance then. I'm glad I never had to lose such a close link with anyone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Tomo."
"Hai come in Soi," he speaks, wiping away the last white patch on his left cheek. Underneath his eyes are tired. "What do you want?"
I straighten my phrases out, carefully rehearsed. "Sorry. I accused you about the thing. Just now, Suboshi said----like it was you who------- and I thought. He never lies,"
"Umhm, he's very distraught over Amiboshi. I wish I hadn't told him those facts. It should be only with us, the damage is done."
I start thinking and move closer. Tomo looks up, meeting my gaze. My curiosity is paid in, and I'm rewarded by a slight serenity on the latter's face. "Are--------are you sure Nakago told you about the incident? I'm not sure the Suzakus are the type to kill people. They're not warriors. "
"It isn't true? I'm not sure either, he did tell me, yes. In the exact words." Next step, I carress his shiny locks, flowing over one shoulder secured by a thin rubber band. It smells fragrant. I forget and breathe in the scent, smiling.
"What are you so happy about oh my hair... I used the new formula, olive shampoo. It does wonders, making it shine. I could let you have a sample," he replies generously. I'm touched and keep my clumsy dirt hands away. Tomo seems tired out. Is he sick?
"Thank you, I will." He hands me a halfused bottle. I sniff at the formulae. He laughs gently, happily. The man moves to is bed and lies down on his back. "Why are you being so nice to me? And me too, normally we would be quarreling after a few minutes of civilized behaviour?"
"Look there. Do you see our star patterns, Soi? Nakago's, yours and mine. They're perfect up there. You and me and right next to each other, Scorpious and Libra." I trace the patterns with the help of his index finger. Tomo closes his eyes and sighs. Suddenly I'm all worried and I touch his brow to make sure. He wakes up. I'm embarrassed.
"Hey go to sleep. We've got an expedition tomorrow. Let's bring Suboshi, then he won't think too much. It won't be dangerous, coz it's just to check out the place as to [here he frowns to recall] make sure we can set camp there. Xinjiang."
"What time?"
"Six o'clock don't be late. Courtyard." I agree and clutching the shampoo, run off to bed.
[SUBOSHI]
I don't ever want to wake up. Aniki and me are so close together! I have almost asked him where he is when I feel shaking. No, no I don't want to move yet! Sleep, sleep, Golden eyes blink as I come round, yawning.
"What? Must I? It's only just past six."
"Yes. You're coming with us. We're going on a mission." I jump up mimicking the action. Sound effects to accompany the swords clanging. Tomo laughs. "Okay that's it. We' re late. C'mon!" I feel very happy walking beside Tomo, tall and imposing. He doesn't mind that he's taking me out, me the baby! When aniki was gone, I'm the youngest left and they leave me at home here to babysit. Maybe I'm dreaming. Am I dreaming? Tomo squeezes my shoulder. The horses and Soi. She stops looking grumpy. A glance is exhchanged.
I read it as don't-not-in-front-of-the-kid. Don't squabble, don't fight? Aniki, peace always works. If only you will tell me that now. Will you miss me as much as I do now?
Now we're over open grassland. I'm behind Tomo and Soi, my stupid horse doesn't want to move faster, though I've kicked him hard. Then I feel sorry and apologise. He whinnies, cantering so I catch up. Then I sense the bloodthirsty chi. Tomo tells us to get ready, opening shin, lashing its vines and crushing a monster creature. It's dripping green blood hanging its jaws open on the floor. The full fight begins now. Soi strikes some of them with a lightning bolt, and summons a storm covering us. Lightning streaks down beside us, avoiding is and killing the horrors with a smell of burnt flesh. I lash out with my ryuuseisui, calling upon each round metal with ease. In addition we also use our swords and knives. The air is heavy with groans, panting, stinking blood. Then the soldiers of darkness stop forming. Arrows come. I jump off my horse, and I crumbles beside me. I'm feeling light headed.
Soi is panting, her fingers smoking. A few of those archers are down, and more are returning fire. I collapse and draw breath. Then a black hand reaches for my face. I slash at it. Arrows rain down. From all directions. I look up.
"Tomo! Tomo san! damnit!" her voice is loud. I stagger towards them.
Tomo gasps, an arrow sticking out between his shoulders, the tip stained with blood, and has penetrated through his back.