Chapter Five



Four days later, Trip stood outside T'Pol's quarters. He hesitated, wondering if he should bother her then he took a deep breath and hit the door chime.

"Come in!"

Trip opened the door and stepped into the candle lit room.

"Evening, Sub-commander."

"Are you ready to begin your treatments?" asked T'Pol. She was kneeling on some pillows, a candle burning to her right.

"Well, um, about that," Trip stammered.

"Commander?"

"After what you've been through today, I mean with Rajiin attacking you and all, I thought maybe I could return the favor and give you the treatment tonight."

"That isn't necessary, Mr. Tucker."

"I know," replied Trip. He knelt down in front of T'Pol. "But I'd like to if you'll let me."

T'Pol looked at him for a long moment then nodded her agreement. "Very well."

Trip swept his hand toward the bench. "Shall we begin," he said with a smile.

T'Pol stood gracefully and moved to sit on the bench. Trip averted his eyes as she unbuttoned her pajama top.

"I am ready."

Trip looked back to see the Vulcan lying prone across the bench. She looked so small and fragile but he knew from experience that those looks were deceiving. He moved to kneel at her side then rubbed his hands together to warm them.

He glanced at T'Pol's face then placed his fingers on either side of her spine. "Tell me if I hurt you."

T'Pol nodded and closed her eyes.

As he pressed his fingers up T'Pol's back, Trip could feel the tension leaving her body. She exhaled then moaned and Trip stopped afraid he'd hurt her. But she remained still, her eyes closed.

The engineer tentatively began applying the pressure again. "T'Pol?"

"Yes, Commander."

"What do you feel?"

T'Pol opened her eyes and looked back at the engineer. "I don't understand."

"From me, through this---this connection. What exactly do you feel?"

T'Pol closed her eyes again. "I feel your anger."

"Oh hell, T'Pol. I'm sorry. Maybe we should stop this."

"I think we've already agreed that neither one of us wishes to stop."

"But if all you feel is my anger----."

"I also feel your compassion for your crewmates, and your inherent goodness, Mr. Tucker," T'Pol continued. She paused. "And I feel your grief."

Trip pulled his hands away, suddenly overcome. "Lizzie," he whispered. The tears welled up suddenly and he tried to sniff them back.

T'Pol sat up and looked at the engineer. Trip immediately averted his eyes.

"I also feel your strength, Mr. Tucker. And it---calms me."

"It does?" He looked up and met T'Pol's dark brown eyes.

"When I resigned my commission, I lost myself, my identity. Your strength has helped me to adjust to that loss."

Trip held T'Pol's eyes. "Did you ever think that maybe by leaving the High Command, you've actually found yourself, T'Pol?"

T'Pol lifted a brow. "I had not considered that."

Trip smiled. "Well maybe through this connection of ours, you should try to pick up some of my wisdom, too."

"I have not felt any---wisdom, Commander."

Trip chuckled. He sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "Alright then," he replied awkwardly. "Why don't you just lay back down then so I can continue?"

T'Pol looked at him squarely. "Please do something before you begin."

"For you, anything," Trip said.

"Please wash your hands. You have been wiping your nose."

Trip grinned. "You got it." He got to his feet and headed into the bathroom. When he emerged with clean hands, T'Pol was stretched out over the bench again. He knelt beside her and continued the pressure up her back in comfortable silence.

When he finished at the base of her neck, T'Pol was sound asleep. Trip sat back on his heels and smiled. He stood and pulled a blanket from the bunk then laid it over T'Pol's sleeping form. He gently urged her to sit up as he secured the blanket around her shoulders. The Vulcan looked at him with unfocused eyes and Trip couldn't help but chuckle softly. He lifted her to her feet and helped her to her bunk.

After he'd settled T'Pol under her covers, Trip bent and lightly kissed her forehead. "Good night, T'Pol," he whispered. Then he turned down the lights and left her quarters.



"Why am I not surprised to find you here?"

"Hey, Cap'n," replied Trip. He sat at a table cradling a glass of milk.

"No neuro-pressure tonight?" asked the captain.

"Nope, I gave T'Pol the treatment tonight. Figured she needed it more than me."

"How's she feeling?" asked Jon as he sat down across from Trip.

"I think she's okay. Just exhausted." The commander looked up at Jon with an odd look in his eyes.

"What?"

"Have you forgiven yourself yet?"

"What do you mean?"

"For bringing Rajiin on board."

Jon sighed and he shook his head. "I really blew it, Trip. I nearly got Enterprise destroyed, gave the Xindi vital information, and nearly got both you and T'Pol killed."

"I'll admit bringing her here wasn't one of your brightest moves but you were under her influence. You weren't thinking clearly. And neither was Malcolm or he wouldn't have let you bring her aboard in the first place."

"I keep telling myself that, Trip, but it doesn't help."

"You did find out they're building a bio weapon, Cap'n."

Jon nodded.

"Helps to explain why they wanted me back on Narellus," Trip continued. He rotated the glass in his hands.

Jon sat back in his chair and looked at his friend. "I'm scared, Trip," he admitted quietly.

"We all are," Trip replied simply.

"Doesn't it bother you that the man who's supposed to save the human race is scared to death?"

Trip shook his head. "It would scare me more if you weren't afraid." He leaned forward and looked squarely at the captain. "You're the right man to lead us, Cap'n. Don't start doubting yourself just because of Rajiin."

Jon couldn't help but smile. "You'd follow me off a cliff, wouldn't you?"

"Yep."

"I'm glad you're here, Trip. I'm sorry about the way I treated you in sickbay earlier."

Trip waved his hand. "Don't worry about it. Your mind was elsewhere."

"I was pretty hard on T'Pol as well."

"She understands. She's got us pretty well figured out, Cap'n."

"Well I think I'll back off and give her a break for a while anyway. She deserves it." Jon looked at the scratches still visible on his friend's forehead. "How's the head?" he asked, his eyes still focused on the wounds.

Trip reached up and gingerly fingered the cuts. "Nothing serious."

"Good."

The engineer sat back in his chair and took a sip of his milk. Jon thought he still looked exhausted but he seemed more at ease, more like the Trip of old.

The captain leaned forward. "Trip," he began. "I read in your report about what happened with Teegra. I just wanted to tell you I'm proud of you for saving him."

Trip shrugged. "I guess I realized in that moment that I wasn't a killer after all." He took another sip of his milk then contemplated the glass in his hands. "I still want them to pay, Cap'n. That hasn't changed."

"I know," Jon replied. He hesitated, watching his long-time friend. "Trip? If you ever need to talk---."

"I know where to find you," Trip replied with a smile.

A real smile, Jon noted happily. The captain realized suddenly how long it had been since he'd really seen Trip smile. Then he realized how long it had been since he himself had been happy about anything.

"And if you ever decide to unload some of that burden you insist on carrying, you know where to find me," Trip continued.

"In T'Pol's quarters?"

Trip's cheeks flushed and he laughed, his eyes dropping immediately to the glass he held between his hands. "Very funny."

Jon smiled. "I know where to find you. Thanks, Trip."

Trip pushed away from the table. "Well I think I'll go check in on engineering. See what's going on down there."

"You should really try to get some sleep. You're fast becoming the resident insomniac around here."

Trip chuckled. "I will---later, Cap'n." He finished off his glass of milk. "Night."

"Good night, Trip." Jon watched the commander as he walked to the door. "Hey, you want some company?"

The engineer turned around then motioned with his hand to the captain.

Jon stood and joined his friend. He put a hand on Trip's shoulder. "You know, about you and T'Pol, there's this rumor I heard---."

Trip rolled his eyes. "Cap'n, she's just helping me sleep. That's it."

And for the first time in months, Jon felt himself laugh.



THE END