FIVE: If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you
want to be happy, do it too. [Dalai Lama]
TOMO
Lee, Mara, Kai. We were all in the troupe together. I had a relationship. So close and I still don't understand why those people had to persecute us. We were so young, younger than I don't know, twelve, thirteen. I didn't die because Shin saved me. she saved me and I should have tried to--------- or was it my cowardice?
The thud of bodies were not easy to recover from. And as Lee convulsed blood leaking out from his mouth, I cried. So stunned that as they dragged me away, I did not realize other stuff. What they did to me, until later. Hands to my shoulders. Firm grip. Brown blue eyes blink. Soi?
"I was reminiscing about.the past."
"The past?" she echoes, holding the boy to her, looking so much like an image of a mother figure. I dab my tears away. Tomo you're a shichiseishi, you're strong. Not like this weakling Chuin. Not the past. Put it behind!
I can't help it right? I'm the master of illusion, illusion helps you forget. Illusion and fantasy the same thing. "I would create this dreamlike world. With my close friends. But they're not here. It cannot go on forever. I tend to forget." I am hollow and drained. Tears come once more. I am so sad. I cannot help it. I don't want to cry. Yet.
"That's terrible Tomosan. They must have died in another war?"
"Of course they did! Why else would I be crying?" I am annoyed. Is she so dense she cannot even sense?
"Sorry. I had no idea, Tomo." Her hands firmly grasp my shoulder when I lie back down, tired out.
"Suboshi, I have an idea. I do, understand how Aniki loves you. Life is unfair," I talk to his head pressed into Soi's chest like a cannon. He shakes. Soi suggests that maybe Seiryuu wants us to lean on each other. He arranges everything from the moment we're born, so we can depend on each other. And buildup a unit impossible to break loose, duh! Isn't it like being a Suzaku?
"I had a hard time too. I was a prostitute for a lot of inns. This, doesn't compare to you guys suffering. But not what I wanted. None of us wanted any bad stuff happening. We should be friends. We can make this thing together, no matter how many obstacles Seiryuu throws at us." She squeezes my fingers tightly. I cover hers with my other hand.
"Subochan, forget what happened? Not your aniki but the loss of aniki. He will be in a safe place and you can call him when you need to right?" I speak gently, uncharacteristic from my coldness. We hold hands for this frozen time. "Nakagosama."
I remember we have been here for a long time. "I've written a lette. No reply yet though."
Does Nakago pray for us? Pray for our safety? He does care about us. He will. I won't lose faith in that thought. It was what swam me to shore when I was in the worst situations.
"What is it Tomosan?" Suboshi asks me.
"Nakago. How stupid of me, how ironic. You are infatuated with Yui, and I chide you for.. as I am with Nakago." I glance at Soi nowing she feels the same way. Suboshi laughs his first bitter laugh.
"Tomo get well soon."
"I cannot wait. Then we'll all go home."
[SUBOSHI]
Tomo insists he's going to walk outside today with only me as support. The physician declines our money but Soi insisted. He let us board up for three weeks, including medicine, food, clothes. The delay was because of the patient who'd relapsed into high fever and was too delirious to move. Tomo san just recovered last evening, asking to get up. He must be anxious to see Nakago. We asked him to be careful. Another fall would be jarring.
"Stay here. Don't help me," his tone draws me. Tomo in loose green shift, boundup hair[ coz his wound hurts too much for him to wear his jing cloak] steps forth walking to the well. And back again. On the second trip Tomo is held by Soi.
"Am fine! Stop being so fussy! I can manage!"
She is firmly steadying his walk. His breathing is labored, the posture far from straight. "Isn't she nuts? I told you."
Don't listen to him, Soi warns. "We made a vow. When you're injured we don't stand back and do nothing. How can you be mad at me? It's ridiculous."
"I have forgotten. It doesn't hurt too much now." Sulky note.
I tell him to go indoors as he's panting slightly. The man considers. "No let's sit under the apple tree there. I need more fresh outdoor air." He turns and heads in that direction, brisk but favouring his stomach. He presses the spot. I'm beginning to like my new friends. My aniki had been present I had forgotten to mix around. Tomo's soft inside and can be nice when he's stopped his cynicality. Si always takes care of me now. The thought nags me, Nakago has not replied.
"Why do you look so troubled?"
"Yeah tell. Your words will not leave without your permission. We're your brother and sister," Tomosan is lighter in tone. He raises one eyebrow.
"How did you do that?"
"This..... was my special skill. Lee my best friend liked that. He always felt my voice was good too, we planned....." He sounds soft and sad. In his fevered state he had called them the most, especially this guy. The poison attacked with a vengeance, hurling him into dark hour. He scarcely ate and hallucinated that we were them. I stroked his forehead. He beseeched us not to leave him alone. A simple touch assured him to bring back a smile to his pale face. Lee was
"My best friend. My lover. I'm gay," he continued this smoothly. How come we can read each other's thoughts more and more? A horse pulls up, its rider dismounting. He hurries. We prepare our seishi skills to protect the injured sei. He's tense with alertness.
"Wait! Message from Nakago sama." Tomo who's now standing looks ready to collapse. Soi reads:
[Come to the Seiryuu temle. On the western border. You should be able to when Tomo is well. We have the Shinzaho now. Here is a rough sketch. Come quickly. Nakago. ]
The lady whoops taking it as a never- better moment. I don't know about this. Tomo smiles quietly, holding his side. Now that the letter comes, it does not take into account how pale and feeble my friend gets. We're not sure whether the poison will return and attack him most vulnerability.
"Help me pack Suboshi. We'll need some food. Soi we'll meet there at the gates. Come." He frowns when I stand unmoving.
"Your injury isn't healed totally. You need to..."
"Don't worry. I will handle this. It's a couple of days. I'll take it easy after that. Come on." He does not protest when I steady his ambling walk down the hillside after Soi's running figure.
TOMO
Lee, Mara, Kai. We were all in the troupe together. I had a relationship. So close and I still don't understand why those people had to persecute us. We were so young, younger than I don't know, twelve, thirteen. I didn't die because Shin saved me. she saved me and I should have tried to--------- or was it my cowardice?
The thud of bodies were not easy to recover from. And as Lee convulsed blood leaking out from his mouth, I cried. So stunned that as they dragged me away, I did not realize other stuff. What they did to me, until later. Hands to my shoulders. Firm grip. Brown blue eyes blink. Soi?
"I was reminiscing about.the past."
"The past?" she echoes, holding the boy to her, looking so much like an image of a mother figure. I dab my tears away. Tomo you're a shichiseishi, you're strong. Not like this weakling Chuin. Not the past. Put it behind!
I can't help it right? I'm the master of illusion, illusion helps you forget. Illusion and fantasy the same thing. "I would create this dreamlike world. With my close friends. But they're not here. It cannot go on forever. I tend to forget." I am hollow and drained. Tears come once more. I am so sad. I cannot help it. I don't want to cry. Yet.
"That's terrible Tomosan. They must have died in another war?"
"Of course they did! Why else would I be crying?" I am annoyed. Is she so dense she cannot even sense?
"Sorry. I had no idea, Tomo." Her hands firmly grasp my shoulder when I lie back down, tired out.
"Suboshi, I have an idea. I do, understand how Aniki loves you. Life is unfair," I talk to his head pressed into Soi's chest like a cannon. He shakes. Soi suggests that maybe Seiryuu wants us to lean on each other. He arranges everything from the moment we're born, so we can depend on each other. And buildup a unit impossible to break loose, duh! Isn't it like being a Suzaku?
"I had a hard time too. I was a prostitute for a lot of inns. This, doesn't compare to you guys suffering. But not what I wanted. None of us wanted any bad stuff happening. We should be friends. We can make this thing together, no matter how many obstacles Seiryuu throws at us." She squeezes my fingers tightly. I cover hers with my other hand.
"Subochan, forget what happened? Not your aniki but the loss of aniki. He will be in a safe place and you can call him when you need to right?" I speak gently, uncharacteristic from my coldness. We hold hands for this frozen time. "Nakagosama."
I remember we have been here for a long time. "I've written a lette. No reply yet though."
Does Nakago pray for us? Pray for our safety? He does care about us. He will. I won't lose faith in that thought. It was what swam me to shore when I was in the worst situations.
"What is it Tomosan?" Suboshi asks me.
"Nakago. How stupid of me, how ironic. You are infatuated with Yui, and I chide you for.. as I am with Nakago." I glance at Soi nowing she feels the same way. Suboshi laughs his first bitter laugh.
"Tomo get well soon."
"I cannot wait. Then we'll all go home."
[SUBOSHI]
Tomo insists he's going to walk outside today with only me as support. The physician declines our money but Soi insisted. He let us board up for three weeks, including medicine, food, clothes. The delay was because of the patient who'd relapsed into high fever and was too delirious to move. Tomo san just recovered last evening, asking to get up. He must be anxious to see Nakago. We asked him to be careful. Another fall would be jarring.
"Stay here. Don't help me," his tone draws me. Tomo in loose green shift, boundup hair[ coz his wound hurts too much for him to wear his jing cloak] steps forth walking to the well. And back again. On the second trip Tomo is held by Soi.
"Am fine! Stop being so fussy! I can manage!"
She is firmly steadying his walk. His breathing is labored, the posture far from straight. "Isn't she nuts? I told you."
Don't listen to him, Soi warns. "We made a vow. When you're injured we don't stand back and do nothing. How can you be mad at me? It's ridiculous."
"I have forgotten. It doesn't hurt too much now." Sulky note.
I tell him to go indoors as he's panting slightly. The man considers. "No let's sit under the apple tree there. I need more fresh outdoor air." He turns and heads in that direction, brisk but favouring his stomach. He presses the spot. I'm beginning to like my new friends. My aniki had been present I had forgotten to mix around. Tomo's soft inside and can be nice when he's stopped his cynicality. Si always takes care of me now. The thought nags me, Nakago has not replied.
"Why do you look so troubled?"
"Yeah tell. Your words will not leave without your permission. We're your brother and sister," Tomosan is lighter in tone. He raises one eyebrow.
"How did you do that?"
"This..... was my special skill. Lee my best friend liked that. He always felt my voice was good too, we planned....." He sounds soft and sad. In his fevered state he had called them the most, especially this guy. The poison attacked with a vengeance, hurling him into dark hour. He scarcely ate and hallucinated that we were them. I stroked his forehead. He beseeched us not to leave him alone. A simple touch assured him to bring back a smile to his pale face. Lee was
"My best friend. My lover. I'm gay," he continued this smoothly. How come we can read each other's thoughts more and more? A horse pulls up, its rider dismounting. He hurries. We prepare our seishi skills to protect the injured sei. He's tense with alertness.
"Wait! Message from Nakago sama." Tomo who's now standing looks ready to collapse. Soi reads:
[Come to the Seiryuu temle. On the western border. You should be able to when Tomo is well. We have the Shinzaho now. Here is a rough sketch. Come quickly. Nakago. ]
The lady whoops taking it as a never- better moment. I don't know about this. Tomo smiles quietly, holding his side. Now that the letter comes, it does not take into account how pale and feeble my friend gets. We're not sure whether the poison will return and attack him most vulnerability.
"Help me pack Suboshi. We'll need some food. Soi we'll meet there at the gates. Come." He frowns when I stand unmoving.
"Your injury isn't healed totally. You need to..."
"Don't worry. I will handle this. It's a couple of days. I'll take it easy after that. Come on." He does not protest when I steady his ambling walk down the hillside after Soi's running figure.