Knowing what could have been-3-what do we do now?
"Well," started Makoto. "I guess I'll start by saying I'm sorry for the fight all those years ago. I shouldn't have blown up like I did. It's just that you were pushing so hard to get away from me that I just didn't know what to do. Not that it was your fault that I reacted the way I did. I regret that night with all of my heart."
"It's not completely your fault Mako. I was pushing away." Began Ami slowly, "There was things, feelings really, that were confusing me. I couldn't help but to push away. It's my nature to move back into myself as a protection. I never meant to hurt you I shouldn't have snapped at you. I guess we both made our mistakes. Let's just both apologize and start over, ok?"
Ami looked at Makoto while she thought this over for a second. "Yea, sure, let's start over. I want to know one thing before we do though. Why? Why did you feel like you had to pull away from me? Was it something that I did? I just keep thinking that I was the one that drove you far away from everyone." Makoto looked back out the window as she said this.
"It's not what you did Mako. Nor was it really you at all. Yes it involved you but it was more things in me. I was afraid that you'd push me away. That you'd find out and you'd leave so I in a way just wanted to leave so I wouldn't get hurt. It's stupid I know that I shouldn't have thought like that, but it's so hard to break my old habits." Ami looked away from Makoto as she trailed off her thought. She didn't know what to say next she was still afraid of what Makoto would think if she told her that she was and is in love with her.
"You still haven't said why you left. You just said what you did." Makoto moved from where she was sitting to stand close behind Ami. "You can tell me anything. You know that. I won't ever turn away from you. No matter what it is, I told you once, I'd never leave you out in the cold." Makoto spoke softly putting her hand on Ami's shoulder.
"I wish I could believe you, but I can't risk it. Let's just drop it and move on, ok?" Ami said. She was very aware of how close Makoto was and how good her hand felt on her shoulder.
"Ami." Makoto said a little more forcefully. "Look tell me what these feelings are that you feel would drive us apart, and I'll tell you something that you don't know about me. You never stayed around long enough for me to tell you. Please.." Makoto had moved from her hand on Ami's shoulder to both her arms around her waist and was speaking softly into Ami's ear. .
They stayed like this for a few minutes past memories of nights where Makoto would hold Ami close to her when Ami was upset, trying to coax what was bothering her out of her. It always seemed to work in the past, so she figured now was no different. Ami hadn't flinched away so Makoto stayed where she was.
"Mako don't push." breathed Ami trying to resist the comfortable imbrace. "I'm not sure I can tell you now. I've kept it hidden for so long."
"Please" repeated Makoto.
Ami sighed and a tear escaped her eye. "Alright, I'll tell you." Ami hesitated and Makoto gave her a small squeeze for encouragement. "I'm in love with you, Mako." Ami's words were barely a whisper.
"I love you too Ami. I've always loved you. Just too coward to tell you, and when I finally got up the nerve to tell you. You wouldn't let me near you." Makoto spoke this quietly at the end of her words she gently kissed Ami's ear.
Ami couldn't move. Makoto didn't shove away from her. She did the exact opposite she told Ami that she loved her too. There was no diguest, no anger, no being slapped, or being left completely alone. Ami didn't know what to do. She felt Makoto kiss her ear again and then she kissed her neck at her pulse point.
"Ami you ok? Hello?" Makoto was a little worried when Ami froze up and wouldn't move.
"Y-y-yea sorry I wasn't expecting you to say or do that." Ami spoke. She leaned into Makoto more and Makoto's arms tightened more around her.
"So you want to give it a go? See if you and I could work?" Makoto asked hestitantly.
"Yes I would like to know if it would work out between us. Let's see how it goes this weekend; see if we are still compatible. I've changed and so have you we need to get to know one another again. Ok?" Ami turned and watched Makoto as she said this. After thinking on it for a minute Makoto nodded her head. "Ok I get that. Sooo what do we do know?" "Well I think we should get some sleep and then in the morning play catch up." Ami replied. "Ok well good night then I guess." With that Makoto gave Ami a peck on the mouth and made her way to her room for what was left of the night.
"Well," started Makoto. "I guess I'll start by saying I'm sorry for the fight all those years ago. I shouldn't have blown up like I did. It's just that you were pushing so hard to get away from me that I just didn't know what to do. Not that it was your fault that I reacted the way I did. I regret that night with all of my heart."
"It's not completely your fault Mako. I was pushing away." Began Ami slowly, "There was things, feelings really, that were confusing me. I couldn't help but to push away. It's my nature to move back into myself as a protection. I never meant to hurt you I shouldn't have snapped at you. I guess we both made our mistakes. Let's just both apologize and start over, ok?"
Ami looked at Makoto while she thought this over for a second. "Yea, sure, let's start over. I want to know one thing before we do though. Why? Why did you feel like you had to pull away from me? Was it something that I did? I just keep thinking that I was the one that drove you far away from everyone." Makoto looked back out the window as she said this.
"It's not what you did Mako. Nor was it really you at all. Yes it involved you but it was more things in me. I was afraid that you'd push me away. That you'd find out and you'd leave so I in a way just wanted to leave so I wouldn't get hurt. It's stupid I know that I shouldn't have thought like that, but it's so hard to break my old habits." Ami looked away from Makoto as she trailed off her thought. She didn't know what to say next she was still afraid of what Makoto would think if she told her that she was and is in love with her.
"You still haven't said why you left. You just said what you did." Makoto moved from where she was sitting to stand close behind Ami. "You can tell me anything. You know that. I won't ever turn away from you. No matter what it is, I told you once, I'd never leave you out in the cold." Makoto spoke softly putting her hand on Ami's shoulder.
"I wish I could believe you, but I can't risk it. Let's just drop it and move on, ok?" Ami said. She was very aware of how close Makoto was and how good her hand felt on her shoulder.
"Ami." Makoto said a little more forcefully. "Look tell me what these feelings are that you feel would drive us apart, and I'll tell you something that you don't know about me. You never stayed around long enough for me to tell you. Please.." Makoto had moved from her hand on Ami's shoulder to both her arms around her waist and was speaking softly into Ami's ear. .
They stayed like this for a few minutes past memories of nights where Makoto would hold Ami close to her when Ami was upset, trying to coax what was bothering her out of her. It always seemed to work in the past, so she figured now was no different. Ami hadn't flinched away so Makoto stayed where she was.
"Mako don't push." breathed Ami trying to resist the comfortable imbrace. "I'm not sure I can tell you now. I've kept it hidden for so long."
"Please" repeated Makoto.
Ami sighed and a tear escaped her eye. "Alright, I'll tell you." Ami hesitated and Makoto gave her a small squeeze for encouragement. "I'm in love with you, Mako." Ami's words were barely a whisper.
"I love you too Ami. I've always loved you. Just too coward to tell you, and when I finally got up the nerve to tell you. You wouldn't let me near you." Makoto spoke this quietly at the end of her words she gently kissed Ami's ear.
Ami couldn't move. Makoto didn't shove away from her. She did the exact opposite she told Ami that she loved her too. There was no diguest, no anger, no being slapped, or being left completely alone. Ami didn't know what to do. She felt Makoto kiss her ear again and then she kissed her neck at her pulse point.
"Ami you ok? Hello?" Makoto was a little worried when Ami froze up and wouldn't move.
"Y-y-yea sorry I wasn't expecting you to say or do that." Ami spoke. She leaned into Makoto more and Makoto's arms tightened more around her.
"So you want to give it a go? See if you and I could work?" Makoto asked hestitantly.
"Yes I would like to know if it would work out between us. Let's see how it goes this weekend; see if we are still compatible. I've changed and so have you we need to get to know one another again. Ok?" Ami turned and watched Makoto as she said this. After thinking on it for a minute Makoto nodded her head. "Ok I get that. Sooo what do we do know?" "Well I think we should get some sleep and then in the morning play catch up." Ami replied. "Ok well good night then I guess." With that Makoto gave Ami a peck on the mouth and made her way to her room for what was left of the night.