~*~
Her eyes met his in the dark.
She was silent as she stood in the doorway of their large bedroom but he could feel her rage. Her eyes were a mixture of fury and remorse. He was sure in his own eyes that the same emotions could be seen.
Soundlessly, he watched his wife turn her head to look at the sleeping form beside him, who just now was stark naked, and whose legs lay intertwined with his atop the bedspread.
Wordlessly, the woman in the doorway swung her gaze to her husband, and even in the dark her eyes seemed to be ablaze. She then ripped the ring from her finger and heaved it across the room where it careened off the wall with a metallic clink.
With that, she turned sharply on her heel and stormed out.
***
Two nights later:
/I saw you. In the park/
/I realized shortly afterwards when I thought I heard a voice. I panicked and then, when I reached out with my mind, I sensed you/
/I suppose you were coming to apologize?/
/Yes. But it's too late for that/
/I'm sorry/
/Save it/
/Don't be like that/
/How do you expect me to be, Stefan?/
/You're to blame as much as I am/
/I was going to apologize. Apparently, I stumbled in at an inopportune moment/
She could sense his sheepish feeling and though they were in two different places entirely, she could imagine his cheeks were faintly colored.
/Elena…That's not fair!/
/Don't bother. We're even now/
/Not quite/ The voice in her head was sarcastic.
/Oh, that's right. You're off by one. Go on then. Fuck her/
/My God, Elena--/
/Oh, don't pretend you don't want to/
/I--/
/Just stop. Let's end it/
/End it? But--/
/I meant our conversation. Get out of my head/
/Do you love him?/
There was no reply. She'd put up a shield.
***
Two weeks later:
"I can't do this."
She looked astonished. "What do you mean?"
"I just can't do this. It's wrong, and you know it."
"What we feel for one another isn't wrong. Look what your wife did to you!"
"Bonnie, forgive me, but I simply cannot go through with this any longer. With each kiss I feel more tainted."
"Tainted?" Brown eyes were filled with grief. "You feel *tainted*? Am I that revolting?"
"Stop that nonsense. You know what I meant."
"Apparently, you can't bear to touch me."
"That's not true."
"Then do it. Take me right now."
"I said I can't do this anymore, Bonnie. It's ending, and it's got to end tonight."
"But why, Stefan? I saw the way you looked at me!"
"It was a distraction! It was nothing remotely close to love."
"Bullshit."
He sighed. "Alright, I'll admit it. I...care for you a great deal. But this is all it can be. I cannot continue to find comfort and pleasure in your arms. Not when I still love Elena."
Elena and Stefan had gone through almost two weeks without speaking to one another, passing each other with expressions bearing the weight of their wrongs, but neither could bring themselves to speak to the other again or attempt apology. They hadn't even fought. She had stalked out after removing her ring; however, they had had no words -- Though her rage was clear and hovered about her as through it thrummed in the very air of their bedroom. Bonnie had shut herself up in her room completely and refused to come down; she came out only to eat. Stefan had not slept in his bed once in that duration of time, though he had lingered in the doorway as Elena slept, watching, yearning...Breaking.
"How can you love her when she obviously has no trouble ripping out your heart and stomping on it? You're in love with a whore, Stefan."
"Don't you *ever* call her--"
Bonnie broke in, vehemently. "But you know damn well its true, Stefan Salvatore!"
He took in deep breaths and exhaled slowly. He studied the redhead before him, her anger compensating for her short stature.
"My wife," he said dangerously, "is no whore."
"You're a blind idiot, then. She's fucked you over twice. With you brother."
"She's made mistakes, granted. But--"
"But nothing, Stefan. Elena is a two-timing, panting little slut who sees no harm in--"
"ENOUGH!" He roared, and Bonnie had the good sense to shut her mouth, taking a step back. She had never seen Stefan so angry with her and she was frightened.
"Stefan, I--"
"I know what you meant, Bonnie. Don't bother apologizing."
"It's just that I love you, Stefan. And I don't understand how you'll go back to a woman who doesn't love you."
"She does."
"Then why does she do what she does?"
"Bonnie, I don't know. She was always weak when it came to Damon. But I know Elena loves me regardless."
She snapped, "Maybe you should ask her, then. I'm simply dying to find out."
Green eyes glimmered with hostility. "Don't."
"Don't what, Stefan? Don't speak the truth? Don't call your wife names she rightfully deserves, names she brought upon herself by her disgusting behavior?"
"Bonnie, I said enough. Don't push me. Besides, may I remind you, you're the woman who was dying to fuck me, a married man? Your best friend's husband?"
Brown eyes glared. "Fine, take her back. But when she drops you *again* when she decides she's bored and wants another good roll in the sack with Damon, don't say I didn't warn you."
"As far as I know, she hasn't gone back to him since I found out."
"Because she's scared."
"She's not going to." His voice was firm.
"Three's the charm, Stefan. She did it twice, she'll do it again."
"Inside of her, lost somewhere, there's the woman I married. I will get her back."
"So very sure of yourself, Stefan. I have to give you credit. Especially when you chase after a woman who no longer wants you and throw away a woman who does."
He turned to walk away from her then, pausing in the doorway of the room. "I can't help the way you feel. I care for you a lot, Bonnie, but you're not the one I'm in love with. I already have a wife."
"One who doesn't give a shit about you..."
He shook his head, one hand on the molding of the doorframe. He didn't retort to that, instead he added, "I'm sorry I lead you on, used you, even, but this has got to stop."
"I'm just sorry it ever began."
***
"God damn you!" she screamed.
"Don't you *dare* try and criticize me when you've done this over and over again!" he shot back.
"You should have left me then!" A glass shattered against the wall. That made number two.
"But I didn't! I stood by you!" He leaned across the countertop.
Silence.
"Because I *loved* you. Do you comprehend what love is anymore? Do you even remember in the slightest what we once had?"
Stefan found he could not summon any hate towards this woman, could not find it in him to loathe her, despise her for breaking his heart.
He had to grip the counter's edge as he watched her pretty face crumble, blue eyes welling up and lining with the silver sheen of tears. Her chin quivered and she looked away.
"Don't you throw this all away on me, Elena. Not now." Stefan's voice had become lower-pitched, almost pleading. "Don't give up on us; don't walk away from what we have."
"Had," she corrected and instantly wished she hadn't.
His fist slammed down on the Corrian counter. "Damnit, Elena! It was out of desperation! What I saw *killed* me and I found the refuge I needed in her. Can you blame me?!"
"Oh, don't give me that!" The blonde blinked back tears, frustrated. "Don't even try to deny you have no feelings for Bonnie! I know you better that that, Stefan."
"Why must you swing this back to me? *You're* the one who has fucked my brother more than once!"
She stared at him from the other side of the kitchen counter. Her voice seemed to catch in her throat but she forced out, "But I don't love him."
"Don't you?" Green eyes were immersed in anguish, dark with despair.
Elena could meet his gaze no longer, tearing her eyes away as helpless tears ran forth, dripped down her cheeks in rivulets that fell onto the counter.
"You do, I know you do."
"Do you love her?" Elena fired back, though her tone was not so much heated with anger as it was broken by sadness.
He was quiet for a moment. Stefan looked down at his hands and then raised his gaze to hers. "I don't know much of anything anymore, Elena..."
She sniffed, hands lifting to her face to hastily wipe away remnants of tears. "I think you do."
"What I feel for her is nothing compared to my love of you. No matter what, Elena, you will always be my heart, my soul, my everything."
"Does it matter anymore?" Her voice shook and another tear escaped.
He wanted nothing more than to go to her, wrap her in his arms and hold her forever. Tell her everything was going to be alright again. But he didn't.
"God, yes, Elena! Of course it does! Don't you understand? But you brought this upon yourself, you know."
"What's left to understand? I betrayed you and you betrayed me," she answered softly.
"Understand that I love you!"
Her voice broke as she whispered, "But you love her, too..." A renewed flow of fresh tears spilled over her flushed face and her shoulders shook in sobs.
"But not in the way I love you, Elena." Stefan looked at her, standing there before him, hysterically crying, shoulders wracking with sobs. His heart ached for her, for them. "Despite the way you hurt me, the way you tore something out of my heart that night, I will continue to love you. Always. Nothing can take that away from me, *diletta*. I *believe* in those vows we took to one another that summer afternoon. I have faith in forever...with you. Not her."
"Stefan...Stefan, Stefan, Stefan..." She whispered over and over again, her words quivering with her tears as she fought another urge to break down.
He moved a bit closer, stepping over the shattered shards of glass. Elena raised tormented blue eyes to him, and he could see the guilt in them, the shame, the feeling of desolate loss that mirrored his own. "Don't leave me, Stefan. I won't leave you again...Please, oh please, Stefan!" She started crying again, and she could barely speak coherently through her tears. "Forgive me one last time, take me back..."
Stefan went to her then, embracing her. For once, she seemed fragile, as if her body would crumble into dust in his arms. "Oh, Elena, you know I will..."
"I'm sorry, Stefan!" Lapis lazuli eyes gazed into his imploringly. "I was such a fool!" Elena clung to him, shaking. "I don't deserve you."
"Shh..." He stroked her hair, lovingly, trying to ease her shaking, stop her tears.
"No, I mean it. What I did was awful, Stefan. You should hate me." She drew away to stare into his beautiful eyes. "I give you permission to leave me, if that's what you want."
"I wouldn't...I could never."
There was an ache in her chest, her entire being longed to make this a bad dream. "I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you."
"Just say you love me."
"I love you." She spoke hushed, and as the words left her lips she found herself crying again. "I love you, Stefan."
She embraced him again and he kissed her, and he could taste the salt of her tears intermingled with his own. "I love you, Elena Salvatore," he mumbled against her lips, his hands soothing, running along her back.
"I swear to you, you have my heart. Forever and always. I swear on my soul."
"As you have mine." His forehead rested against hers.
"I should have never doubted it."
"Till death do us part?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out her ring, which she had, in her rage at finding him with Bonnie, pulled from her finger and flung at the wall.
She nodded firmly, a trembling smile on her lips. "Till death do us part." She had, without his awareness, taken his ring which she'd found on their dresser so many nights ago when she had come home, feeling world-weary and disgusted with herself, and seen a sight she thought she'd never see.
He kissed her again as she held out her hand. He slipped on her ring, where it once again sat on her slender finger. Where it should remain forever. He brushed strands of hair off her damp cheeks where they had clung to her.
She took his hand, which surprised him, and brought it to her lips. With a breath, she then eased on his own band, lacing her fingers through his and resting her head on his shoulder, wishing she could simply mesh her body and soul with his and become one for eternity.
At the top of the stairs, a redheaded woman stood listening the entire time. She sank to her knees, put her head in her hands, and began to cry.
Neither of the two in the kitchen even heard her.
***
Her eyes met his in the dark.
She was silent as she stood in the doorway of their large bedroom but he could feel her rage. Her eyes were a mixture of fury and remorse. He was sure in his own eyes that the same emotions could be seen.
Soundlessly, he watched his wife turn her head to look at the sleeping form beside him, who just now was stark naked, and whose legs lay intertwined with his atop the bedspread.
Wordlessly, the woman in the doorway swung her gaze to her husband, and even in the dark her eyes seemed to be ablaze. She then ripped the ring from her finger and heaved it across the room where it careened off the wall with a metallic clink.
With that, she turned sharply on her heel and stormed out.
***
Two nights later:
/I saw you. In the park/
/I realized shortly afterwards when I thought I heard a voice. I panicked and then, when I reached out with my mind, I sensed you/
/I suppose you were coming to apologize?/
/Yes. But it's too late for that/
/I'm sorry/
/Save it/
/Don't be like that/
/How do you expect me to be, Stefan?/
/You're to blame as much as I am/
/I was going to apologize. Apparently, I stumbled in at an inopportune moment/
She could sense his sheepish feeling and though they were in two different places entirely, she could imagine his cheeks were faintly colored.
/Elena…That's not fair!/
/Don't bother. We're even now/
/Not quite/ The voice in her head was sarcastic.
/Oh, that's right. You're off by one. Go on then. Fuck her/
/My God, Elena--/
/Oh, don't pretend you don't want to/
/I--/
/Just stop. Let's end it/
/End it? But--/
/I meant our conversation. Get out of my head/
/Do you love him?/
There was no reply. She'd put up a shield.
***
Two weeks later:
"I can't do this."
She looked astonished. "What do you mean?"
"I just can't do this. It's wrong, and you know it."
"What we feel for one another isn't wrong. Look what your wife did to you!"
"Bonnie, forgive me, but I simply cannot go through with this any longer. With each kiss I feel more tainted."
"Tainted?" Brown eyes were filled with grief. "You feel *tainted*? Am I that revolting?"
"Stop that nonsense. You know what I meant."
"Apparently, you can't bear to touch me."
"That's not true."
"Then do it. Take me right now."
"I said I can't do this anymore, Bonnie. It's ending, and it's got to end tonight."
"But why, Stefan? I saw the way you looked at me!"
"It was a distraction! It was nothing remotely close to love."
"Bullshit."
He sighed. "Alright, I'll admit it. I...care for you a great deal. But this is all it can be. I cannot continue to find comfort and pleasure in your arms. Not when I still love Elena."
Elena and Stefan had gone through almost two weeks without speaking to one another, passing each other with expressions bearing the weight of their wrongs, but neither could bring themselves to speak to the other again or attempt apology. They hadn't even fought. She had stalked out after removing her ring; however, they had had no words -- Though her rage was clear and hovered about her as through it thrummed in the very air of their bedroom. Bonnie had shut herself up in her room completely and refused to come down; she came out only to eat. Stefan had not slept in his bed once in that duration of time, though he had lingered in the doorway as Elena slept, watching, yearning...Breaking.
"How can you love her when she obviously has no trouble ripping out your heart and stomping on it? You're in love with a whore, Stefan."
"Don't you *ever* call her--"
Bonnie broke in, vehemently. "But you know damn well its true, Stefan Salvatore!"
He took in deep breaths and exhaled slowly. He studied the redhead before him, her anger compensating for her short stature.
"My wife," he said dangerously, "is no whore."
"You're a blind idiot, then. She's fucked you over twice. With you brother."
"She's made mistakes, granted. But--"
"But nothing, Stefan. Elena is a two-timing, panting little slut who sees no harm in--"
"ENOUGH!" He roared, and Bonnie had the good sense to shut her mouth, taking a step back. She had never seen Stefan so angry with her and she was frightened.
"Stefan, I--"
"I know what you meant, Bonnie. Don't bother apologizing."
"It's just that I love you, Stefan. And I don't understand how you'll go back to a woman who doesn't love you."
"She does."
"Then why does she do what she does?"
"Bonnie, I don't know. She was always weak when it came to Damon. But I know Elena loves me regardless."
She snapped, "Maybe you should ask her, then. I'm simply dying to find out."
Green eyes glimmered with hostility. "Don't."
"Don't what, Stefan? Don't speak the truth? Don't call your wife names she rightfully deserves, names she brought upon herself by her disgusting behavior?"
"Bonnie, I said enough. Don't push me. Besides, may I remind you, you're the woman who was dying to fuck me, a married man? Your best friend's husband?"
Brown eyes glared. "Fine, take her back. But when she drops you *again* when she decides she's bored and wants another good roll in the sack with Damon, don't say I didn't warn you."
"As far as I know, she hasn't gone back to him since I found out."
"Because she's scared."
"She's not going to." His voice was firm.
"Three's the charm, Stefan. She did it twice, she'll do it again."
"Inside of her, lost somewhere, there's the woman I married. I will get her back."
"So very sure of yourself, Stefan. I have to give you credit. Especially when you chase after a woman who no longer wants you and throw away a woman who does."
He turned to walk away from her then, pausing in the doorway of the room. "I can't help the way you feel. I care for you a lot, Bonnie, but you're not the one I'm in love with. I already have a wife."
"One who doesn't give a shit about you..."
He shook his head, one hand on the molding of the doorframe. He didn't retort to that, instead he added, "I'm sorry I lead you on, used you, even, but this has got to stop."
"I'm just sorry it ever began."
***
"God damn you!" she screamed.
"Don't you *dare* try and criticize me when you've done this over and over again!" he shot back.
"You should have left me then!" A glass shattered against the wall. That made number two.
"But I didn't! I stood by you!" He leaned across the countertop.
Silence.
"Because I *loved* you. Do you comprehend what love is anymore? Do you even remember in the slightest what we once had?"
Stefan found he could not summon any hate towards this woman, could not find it in him to loathe her, despise her for breaking his heart.
He had to grip the counter's edge as he watched her pretty face crumble, blue eyes welling up and lining with the silver sheen of tears. Her chin quivered and she looked away.
"Don't you throw this all away on me, Elena. Not now." Stefan's voice had become lower-pitched, almost pleading. "Don't give up on us; don't walk away from what we have."
"Had," she corrected and instantly wished she hadn't.
His fist slammed down on the Corrian counter. "Damnit, Elena! It was out of desperation! What I saw *killed* me and I found the refuge I needed in her. Can you blame me?!"
"Oh, don't give me that!" The blonde blinked back tears, frustrated. "Don't even try to deny you have no feelings for Bonnie! I know you better that that, Stefan."
"Why must you swing this back to me? *You're* the one who has fucked my brother more than once!"
She stared at him from the other side of the kitchen counter. Her voice seemed to catch in her throat but she forced out, "But I don't love him."
"Don't you?" Green eyes were immersed in anguish, dark with despair.
Elena could meet his gaze no longer, tearing her eyes away as helpless tears ran forth, dripped down her cheeks in rivulets that fell onto the counter.
"You do, I know you do."
"Do you love her?" Elena fired back, though her tone was not so much heated with anger as it was broken by sadness.
He was quiet for a moment. Stefan looked down at his hands and then raised his gaze to hers. "I don't know much of anything anymore, Elena..."
She sniffed, hands lifting to her face to hastily wipe away remnants of tears. "I think you do."
"What I feel for her is nothing compared to my love of you. No matter what, Elena, you will always be my heart, my soul, my everything."
"Does it matter anymore?" Her voice shook and another tear escaped.
He wanted nothing more than to go to her, wrap her in his arms and hold her forever. Tell her everything was going to be alright again. But he didn't.
"God, yes, Elena! Of course it does! Don't you understand? But you brought this upon yourself, you know."
"What's left to understand? I betrayed you and you betrayed me," she answered softly.
"Understand that I love you!"
Her voice broke as she whispered, "But you love her, too..." A renewed flow of fresh tears spilled over her flushed face and her shoulders shook in sobs.
"But not in the way I love you, Elena." Stefan looked at her, standing there before him, hysterically crying, shoulders wracking with sobs. His heart ached for her, for them. "Despite the way you hurt me, the way you tore something out of my heart that night, I will continue to love you. Always. Nothing can take that away from me, *diletta*. I *believe* in those vows we took to one another that summer afternoon. I have faith in forever...with you. Not her."
"Stefan...Stefan, Stefan, Stefan..." She whispered over and over again, her words quivering with her tears as she fought another urge to break down.
He moved a bit closer, stepping over the shattered shards of glass. Elena raised tormented blue eyes to him, and he could see the guilt in them, the shame, the feeling of desolate loss that mirrored his own. "Don't leave me, Stefan. I won't leave you again...Please, oh please, Stefan!" She started crying again, and she could barely speak coherently through her tears. "Forgive me one last time, take me back..."
Stefan went to her then, embracing her. For once, she seemed fragile, as if her body would crumble into dust in his arms. "Oh, Elena, you know I will..."
"I'm sorry, Stefan!" Lapis lazuli eyes gazed into his imploringly. "I was such a fool!" Elena clung to him, shaking. "I don't deserve you."
"Shh..." He stroked her hair, lovingly, trying to ease her shaking, stop her tears.
"No, I mean it. What I did was awful, Stefan. You should hate me." She drew away to stare into his beautiful eyes. "I give you permission to leave me, if that's what you want."
"I wouldn't...I could never."
There was an ache in her chest, her entire being longed to make this a bad dream. "I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you."
"Just say you love me."
"I love you." She spoke hushed, and as the words left her lips she found herself crying again. "I love you, Stefan."
She embraced him again and he kissed her, and he could taste the salt of her tears intermingled with his own. "I love you, Elena Salvatore," he mumbled against her lips, his hands soothing, running along her back.
"I swear to you, you have my heart. Forever and always. I swear on my soul."
"As you have mine." His forehead rested against hers.
"I should have never doubted it."
"Till death do us part?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out her ring, which she had, in her rage at finding him with Bonnie, pulled from her finger and flung at the wall.
She nodded firmly, a trembling smile on her lips. "Till death do us part." She had, without his awareness, taken his ring which she'd found on their dresser so many nights ago when she had come home, feeling world-weary and disgusted with herself, and seen a sight she thought she'd never see.
He kissed her again as she held out her hand. He slipped on her ring, where it once again sat on her slender finger. Where it should remain forever. He brushed strands of hair off her damp cheeks where they had clung to her.
She took his hand, which surprised him, and brought it to her lips. With a breath, she then eased on his own band, lacing her fingers through his and resting her head on his shoulder, wishing she could simply mesh her body and soul with his and become one for eternity.
At the top of the stairs, a redheaded woman stood listening the entire time. She sank to her knees, put her head in her hands, and began to cry.
Neither of the two in the kitchen even heard her.
***