Yadonushi
By: Neko-chan
A/N: Fran had asked for a "consensual, non-abusive, mostly functional, and in-character" Bakurae ficu. This is my attempt at her request/challenge. Ph34r.
Dedicated To cloud-1-3-5.
WARNING: Neko-chan-ified shounen-ai. Yami no Bakura/Ryou
~ 'Yadonushi' is what Yami no Bakura calls Ryou. I have been told that it can translate to either 'king's property' or 'landlord.' Also, I realize that in the manga and TV series, Ryou Bakura is referred to as 'Bakura.' But, due to the fact that Neko-chan is a lazy git, Ryou Bakura shall be called 'Ryou.'
DISCLAIMER: If Neko-chan owned Yuugiou, this wouldn't be called 'fanfiction.'
* * *
"You're a fool, yadonushi."
The omote looked up, eyes wide with surprise as his darker half made his way through the shadow-filled soul room. Though Ryou's soul room was most definitely brighter and happier than his Yami's, it still wasn't as light-filled as Yuugi's soul room—something that was still filled with childish pleasures and pastimes that most eventually grew out of.
However, not only did Ryou's soul room still contain games that he used to play when he was a small child, but there were shadowed corners, bits and pieces of the white haired boy's past that no one was allowed to gaze upon. Not even his Yami, no matter how hard or how often the other half tried, could access those memories that belonged to Ryou and Ryou alone.
The lighter half of the duo tilted his head to one side, eyeing Yami no Bakura with a thoughtful expression upon his face. He paused and slowly placed the Duel Monster card he had been idly playing with facedown onto the floor, finally giving his darker half his full attention.
"Why am I a fool, Yami?" he asked softly, chocolate brown eyes contemplative and just a little bit sad.
Yami no Bakura sneered, looking his omote up and down as he did so. "I saw the kitten that you tried to hide from me, yadonushi. Did you truly think that I wouldn't notice—or that I wouldn't care? The thing is skin and bones; it'll be dead in a few days, no matter how much you nurse it and care for it. That is why you're a sentimental fool—a bleeding heart, pouring his life's blood out onto to ground for others."
Ryou flinched, teeth worrying his lower lip as he carefully avoided meeting his darker half's gaze. Quietly, so quiet that Yami no Bakura barely heard him, he inquired: "What happened to the kitten, Yami?"
Mahogany eyes glazed over—eyes that were cruel and emotionless; eyes that were, more often than not, filled with a bitter rage and unrelenting hatred; emotions and feelings that bubbled up underneath Yami no Bakura's inner shields and poured from his body in poisonous tendrils, soaking into his surroundings like acid. The Yami stilled, staring down at his omote. "It was already dead—all it needed was several days more time. So I put it out of its misery."
Soot-black lashes lowered and then slowly pulled up. "What happened to the kitten, Yami?" he whispered, already knowing—expecting, waiting, dreading—what the answer would be.
And Ryou's Darkness smiled, the bitterness that was inside of him intensifying and magnifying for one short moment. "I drowned it in your father's old paint bucket. The body's in the dumpster outside."
Doe eyes looked down and away from Yami no Bakura, avoiding the Other's gaze. "A life is a life—and the kitten deserved to live, Yami," he whispered, still refusing to meet his Darkness' eyes. "I wanted to help it; I wanted to help the kitten grow stronger."
Yami no Bakura sneered and kicked one of Ryou's stuffed animals, sending it skittering across the cold stone floor to crash into the Light's leg. Ryou winced and hunched his shoulders further, gaze still locked firmly onto the ground.
"The kitten was as good as dead, yadonushi."
"…but everything deserves a chance to live, Yami," was the whispered reply, so quiet that it was just a mere murmur in the air. Yet Ryou's Darkness still managed to hear. He snorted in reply and kicked another stuffed animal towards his omote.
"And that's why you're a fool. You always have been and always will be. Stay away, yadonushi; stay locked inside your soul room, hiding away from the world because you can't deal with reality."
He left then, trailing disdain and contempt behind him so that long after he had left, Ryou could still taste the emotions on his tongue in the back of his mouth. It was bitter and spicy, burning his throat as he swallowed, trying to rid himself of the taste.
"Everything deserves a chance to live," the Light whispered again, directing his attention once more to the Duel Monsters card that he had placed on the floor when Yami no Bakura had entered his soul room.
The white haired boy frowned, his brow furrowing, and flipped the card over. Ryou eyed the card for one long moment, heaved a disappointed sigh, then brought out his Duel Monsters deck and shuffled the lone card back into his deck.
"Everything deserves a chance to live," he repeated once more before going deeper into his soul room, melting into the shadowed hallows within.
* * *
"Our
birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come..."
--William Wordsworth
* * *
The small body was lying in the dumpster, broken and forgotten. Its fur was soaked; the kitten's dark gray coat became a matte black from the water that Ryou's yami had used to drown it in.
The Light stared down at the dead kitten, eyes sad. "I don't care what Yami tells me—you would have lived. I know you would have. I know that you would have lived, if given a chance. But I failed you. I… I am sorry. Please forgive me."
//Not everything can be saved, yadonushi. Only fools try to argue against this fact.//
Dark brown eyes slowly closed and Ryou brought up his inner walls, blocking his Yami's voice from his mind. It didn't happen often, but if Ryou was given enough of a reason to do so, he was able to take control of their body and block his Yami from his mind… for a little while, at least.
Before the walls fully sealed, the Light sent one single thought-tendril through the small crack: /You call me a fool—but haven't you always? Everything should have the chance to live. Even you, Yami./
Silence was his only answer. But, then again, Ryou hadn't really expected an answer from his Yami, anyway.
~ ~ ~
The kitten was buried in the wooded part of his backyard, close to the fence and secluded enough that the baby animal would be allowed to rest in peace. The white-haired boy sat next to the lump of dirt that covered the grave for a long while, staring at nothing and thinking nothing.
Ryou stayed that way for a quite some time, not moving for hours.
A whisper slowly trailed through his mind, brushing his thoughts as light as a butterfly's wing. He shivered as it gently stroked against his inner barriers once more—the thought-tendril was as cold as ice and tasted like a newly minted copper penny… it tasted just like blood. Just like his Yami.
//The dirt will wash away the next time that it rains. The grave isn't deep enough; the body will be uncovered, and will start to decay and rot sooner.//
The Light trembled and tightened his mind's walls, allowing no chink in the overall pattern of stonework to weaken their defenses. The thought-tendril backed off for a short moment, then returned with a vengeance.
Ice-cold fire ripped through his ribs, burying deep within Ryou's heart. He gasped in shock and pain, the inner defenses shattering like glass before his Yami's rage. For several long moments, Ryou couldn't feel his heart beat, his blood slowing in his veins. All he could feel was pain and fury and possessiveness.
…and then everything went dark.
~ ~ ~
Hard stone was the first sensation that Ryou felt as he slowly awoke, rough and bone-numbingly chill against his cheek. It hurt to move and his muscles felt sore, as if he had run a great distance before finally collapsing to the ground in exhaustion. Brown eyes opened and were quickly captured into mahogany depths, an abyss of Darkness.
"So it seems as if the yadonushi finally decides to awaken," Yami no Bakura sneered, snorting derisively as Ryou attempted to prop himself up, falling back to his elbows as his weariness overwhelmed him. Crimson-stained eyes narrowed and the Yami frowned as he watched his omote.
"How did I get back here?" Ryou whispered as he slumped to the floor in defeat. His eyes closed once again and waited for the inevitable to occur: Revenge for defying his Yami, punishment for taking over his body when it had been made clear to him on many occasions before that his body no longer belonged to him, or a cruel lesson taught to once again drive home the fact that he was longer 'whole.' He was tired, so tired, and just wanted to rest.
"I brought you here after you passed out from the pain. … Wake up!" Yami no Bakura snapped, slapping the ground next to Ryou's face. The Light jerked away from the sound, starting awake; the Yami scowled deeply and slapped the ground once again. "Now that you're awake again, I want you to take a look at your hands, yadonushi."
Ryou sighed deeply and turned away from Yami no Bakura, his eyelids drooping precariously. The Yami snarled and hit the ground next to the white-haired boy's head for the third time. "Your hands, yadonushi!"
He finally obeyed his Yami and opened an eye, looking down at his hands, ignoring his body's soft demand to sleep, to rest, to let fatigue and pain overcome him. To just close his eyes and fall away into oblivion.
Ryou's pale hands were bloody and scratched, skin torn from his fingers and palms in patches. Blood still seeped from some of the deeper cuts on his fingers and arms. Dirt was caked under his nails, brown crescents tipping his fingers.
"I couldn't find a shovel, Yami… The dirt was so hard and stiff; there were weeds and rocks where I was digging with my hands—some of the plants had thorns. But I wanted to bury the kitten and so I didn't care."
"It was a kitten, yadonushi. It was destined to die in a few days' time, anyway."
The Light closed his eyes and allowed his head to slump back onto the floor. "It was still alive and was entitled to that life," he whispered softly, burying his face in his arms so that Yami no Bakura wouldn't see the tears. /Everything is entitled to live. Everything should have the chance to live. It's not fair when someone is killed unjustly… and then the only excuse other people can give is that 'He didn't deserve to live.' Everything should be given the chance to live./
Yami no Bakura's eyes narrowed marginally. "And what of me, yadonushi?"
/…everything deserves the chance at life./
"What of those who have killed—destroying everything in their path so that they may accomplish the one goal that they want above anything else? What of those who steal for profit? What of those who kill and feel no remorse for the life that they've just taken? And what of me, yadonushi? Do I deserve the chance at life?"
/…everything deserves the chance at life, Yami. Even you./
Yami no Bakura snorted, his scowl turning ugly and bitter. "You aren't given a chance at life if you've been trapped inside a Sennen Item for the past several millennia, yadonushi. And no one ever gives you a chance at life if you've willingly taken it away many times before. If you ever decide to ask the Pharaoh and Malik's darker personality, I'm sure that they would agree. Some things were not meant to live, to walk the mortal world. I am one of them."
Silence rang in Ryou's soul room for a long, long time—both seemed to be holding their breaths, waiting for the other to speak.
Finally, the Light spoke, his voice soft and trembling slightly. "Every… person… deserves the chance at life, Yami," he said for the very last time. "No one should be denied that chance. It doesn't matter who you are, or what you've done—you're my Yami now… and you deserve to live." He paused for a moment and slowly raised his head up from his arms, tears still falling softly from red-rimmed eyes. "I had wanted to show you this last night, but I was scared. And… all I want is for you to understand."
Yami no Bakura snorted, staring down at his Light scornfully. "I understand that you're my yadonushi—and I own you, body and soul."
Ryou ignored him and managed to push himself up into a sitting position, body swaying as fatigue almost overcame him once again. He managed to pull out his deck from his back pocket. The brown-eyed boy quickly shuffled through the cards until he came to the one that he had contemplated the night before. Ryou drew it, holding it delicately between the index and middle fingers of his right hand.
The card glowed a dull green and a picture slowly began to form on its face. It was a Light and Darkness pair.
Yami no Bakura slowly materialized in the picture, dressed in armor and holding a sword in his hand. He was wailing in agony and fear, slowly limping away from another figure that was doubled over a stomach wound, white hair bloodied and matted to his face. The Yami no Game surrounded the two figures, slowly shrouding the two and eating them whole.
"Share the Pain. A Magic card: Offer one monster on your side of the field as a Tribute. Your opponent must select one monster on his side of the field and offer it as a Tribute," Ryou quoted softly. Yami no Bakura was silent, eyes wide and staring at the card that was still glowing in his Light's hand. "You are who you are, Yami. Nothing can ever change that fact. But it doesn't matter anymore, now does it?"
…
"Yadonushi…"
~Owari~
::End::