Hey, it's the first act! Please forgive me if some characters are OOC, I don't know everyone's personality yet since I haven't seen any episodes past the dark tournament.

A Yu Yu-Summer Night's Dream

By Ryoken

(After only two days of practice, the cast is summoned back to the auditorium for more information about the play.)

All cast members- WHAT?!!?!?

Voice over the Speakers- That's right, I'm afraid opening night has been moved from three weeks from tomorrow to tomorrow night. We had to move to the date so that it would come out before a different play was showing. All costumes and scenery have been adjusted so that everything is ready for tomorrow night. All that is needed is for the actors to memorize their lines as quickly as possible. Sorry for the inconvenience.

All- *grumble*

Hiei- This whole play is an inconvenience.

VOTS- I heard that.

Hiei- -_-() Who is this guy anyway?

Triwatch- Why, the writer of course!

All- WHAT?! RYOKEN!?!?!?!?!

Ryoken- *meekly over the speakers* Um, meow?

Suzaku- Why have you done this?! I'M A FAIRY, FOR GODS' SAKE!!!!!

Ryoken- Cause there weren't enough people who tried out.

Suzaku- And you had to make me a FAIRY!?!!?!?!?

Ryoken- Erm, yeah.

Suzaku- _+ When I get my hands on you...

Ryoken- Meep. Erm, well, I gotta go, jaa ne!!

(Triwatch disappears and the cast is left alone to practice. All sigh. They go and practice until opening night. The auditorium is filled with demons of all kinds, ogres from the Reikai, fangirls, and other people. In order to prevent a few fights and deaths, the humans and demons have been separated into the left side of the auditorium and the right side. Backstage, everyone is getting into costumes and still going over their lines. Suddenly the missing girl Triwatch appears at the backdoor.)

Triwatch- Hiya everybody! Let's see, *looks at clipboard* where's Jorge?

Jorge- Korede.

Triwatch- Who isn't here yet?

Jorge- Miyuki. No one's even seen her around for the past three days.

Triwatch- Understood! That means her understudy will have to take the part...

Jorge- *whispering* We have understudies?

Triwatch- *whispering too* Yeah, just in case something happens.

Jorge- Who's Miyuki's understudy then?

Triwatch- Ryoken. She told me*mouth is covered up by Ryoken*

Ryoken- Such an adorable little girl, isn't she? Ehehe...

Jorge- *scratches head* Erm, right. *Goes off to do something*

Ryoken- *lets go of hand over Triwatch's mouth* Ok, now is everything ready, Triwatch?

Triwatch- I dunno, I just got here like you did. I'll go check. *Goes to see if everything is in order*

Keiko- Oh hey, Ryoken. Why are you wearing that costume?

Ryoken- I'm Miyuki's understudy.

Keiko- Ohhhh. *In a low voice* You never informed her, did you?

Ryoken- Nope.

Keiko- I thought so.

Ryoken- ^^() Anyway, is everything going as it should?

Keiko- We've had a few problems here and there, but basically everyone's as ready as they can be in only three days time.

Ryoken- Hey, there really were circumstances beyond my control!!!

Keiko- Riiiiight...

Ryoken- I'm serious!!

(Triwatch comes running back.)

Triwatch- Everything's ready!!

Ryoken- Good. Now, it's time for you to announce the beginning of the play, ok? And don't forget to tell everyone that we're starting.

Triwatch- Ok!

(Triwatch runs around to everyone telling them they're starting and to get into positions. She then goes on stage with a microphone.)

Triwatch- Ladies and gentlemen, demons and fangirls!! If you will please turn your attention to the stage, our play will begin!!

(The lights dim, and the spotlight is turned on.)

In the audience...

Raizen- It's about time, Mukuro, what took you so long?

Mukuro- *plops down into her seat* Long line at the snack bar.

Raizen- -_-()

Mukuro- What'd I miss?

Yomi- Nothing. Just a little girl coming out on stage to announce the beginning of the play.

Mukuro- Oh. Hey, I waited two hours for that popcorn, Raizen, go get your own!!

Back on stage...

(The curtains are opened only to get stuck halfway because some idiot fell asleep up in the ropes. Someone from backstage yells "SPIRIT GUN!" and a loud thump is heard. The curtains now completely open to reveal a nicely painted scene of a Greek throne room. There are some ogres and demons dressed up in Athenian clothes. They're "talking" to each other, as the play calls for it. Yusuke, Keiko with Jorge behind them come strolling in, Keiko holding Yusuke's arm. They too are dressed up in old Greek clothing.)

Yusuke- Now, fair Hippo...Hippo...

( Ryoken slaps forehead off stage.)

Keiko- *from the corner of her mouth* Hippolyta.

Yusuke- Hippolyta, our nuptial hour

Draws on apace; four happy days bring in

Another moon: but, O, methinks, how slow

This old moon wanes! she lingers my desire,

Like a stepdame or a dowager,

Long withering out a young man's revenue.

Keiko- Four days will quickly steep themselves in night;

Four nights will quickly dream away the time;

And then the moon, like to a silver bow

New-bent in heaven, shall behold the night

Of our solemnities.

Yusuke- Go, Philo...Philostrata?

(Ryoken slaps forehead again.)

Keiko- Philostrate.

Yusuke- Philostrate, god, how can people pronounce these names?-

Stir up the Athenian youth to merriments,

Awake the pert and nimble spirit of mirth,

Turn melancholy forth to funerals;

The pale companion is not for our pomp.

(Jorge exits.)

Yusuke- Hippolyta, I wooed thee with my sword,

And won thy love doing thee injuries;

But I will wed thee in another key,

With pomp, with triumph, and with revelling.

Back in the audience...

Raizen- -_-() I have an idiot for an heir...

Atsuko(from two rows over)- OI! Yusuke's not an idiot!

Puu- Puu!!

(On seeing this other counterpart, Puu immediately flies to Yusuke and sits on his head. Audience laughs except for Atsuko, who cheers him on.)

Yusuke- -_-() *under his breath* Stupid spirit beast...Why'd she have to bring him along...?

Back on stage...

(Shishiwakamaru, Yukina, Kurama, and Hiei enter the stage. They are also dressed in Athenian costumes, Kurama and Hiei looking especially handsome. Fangirls swoon.)

Shishi- *does a double-take as he looks at Yusuke with Puu on his head* Heh, nice crown, Urameshi. Happy be Theseus, our renowned duke!

Yusuke- -_- Thanks, good Ege, Egu...good Shishi! What's the news with thee?

Shishi- That's Egeus. Full of vexation come I, with complaint

Against my child, my daughter Hermia.

Stand forth, Demetrius.

(Hiei takes a step forward with a glare. You can really tell he doesn't want to be there.)

My noble lord,

This man hath my consent to marry her.

Stand forth, Lysander.

(Kurama takes a step forward.)

And, my gracious duke,

This man hath bewitched the bosom of my child.

Thou, thou, Lysander, thou has given her rhymes

And interchanged love tokens with my child;

Thou has by moonlight at her window sung

with feigning voice verses of feigning love,

And stol'n the impression of her fantasy

with bracelets of thy hair, rings, gauds, conceits,

knacks, trifles, nosegays, sweetmeets- messengers

Of strong prevailment in unhardened youth.

With cunning hast thou filched my daughter's heart,

Turned her obedience, which is due to me,

To stubborn harshness. And, my gracious duke,

Be it so she will not here before your Grace

Consent to marry with Demetrius,

I beg the ancient privilege of Athens,

As she is mine, I may dispose of her,

Which shall be either to this gentleman

Or to her death, according to our law

Immediately provided in that case. Phew!

Yusuke- What say you, Hermia? Be advised, fair maid,

To you your father should be as a god;

One that composed your beauties; yea, and one

To whom you are but as a form in wax

By him imprinted and within his power

To leave the figure or disfigure it.

Demetrius is a worthy gentleman.

Yukina- So is Lysander.

Yusuke- In himself he is;

But in this kind, wanting your father's voice,

The other must be held the worthier.

Yukina- I would my father looked but with my eyes.

Yusuke- Rather your eyes must with his judgment look.

Yukina- I do entreat your Grace to pardon me.

I know not by what power I am made bold,

Nor how it may concern my modesty

In such a presence here to plead my thoughts;

But I beseech your Grace that I may know

The worst that may befall me in this case

If I refuse to wed Demetrius.

Yusuke- Either to die the death, or to abjure

For ever the society of men.

Therefore, fair Hermia, question your desires,

Know of your youth, examine well your blood,

Whether, if you yield not to your father's choice,

You can endure the livery of a nun,

For aye to be in shady cloister mewed,

To live a barren sister all your life,

Chanting faint hymns to the cold fruitless moon.

Thrice blessed they that master so their blood

To undergo such maiden pilgrimage;

But earthlier happy is the rose distilled

Than that which, withering on the virgin thorn,

Grows, lives, and dies in single blessedness.

Yukina- So will I grow, so live, so die, my lord,

Ere I will yield my virgin patent up

Unto his lordship whose unwished yoke

My soul consents not to give sovereignty.

Yusuke- Take time to pause; and by the next new moon-

The sealing day betwixt my love and me

For everlasting bond of fellowship-

Upon that day either prepare to die

For disobedience to your father's will,

Or else to wed Demetrius, as he would,

Or on Diana's altar to protest

For aye austerity and single life.

Hiei- -_- Relent, sweet Hermia; and, Lysander, yield

Thy crazed title to my certain right.

Kurama- *with some enthusiasm* You have her father's love, Demetrius;

Let me have Hermia's: do you marry him.

(Audience laughs.)

Shishi- Scornful Lysander! true, he hath my love;

(Both Hiei and Shishi glare at the crowd to make sure no one will make some stupid comment.)

And what is mine my love shall render him;

And she is mine, and all my right of her

I do estate unto Demetrius.

Kurama- I am, my lord, as derived as he,

As well possessed; my love us more than his;

My fortunes every way as fairly ranked

(If not with vantage) as Demetrius';

And (which is more than all these boasts can be)

I am beloved of beauteous Hermia.

Why should not I then prosecute my right?

Demetrius, I'll avouch it to his dead,

Made love to Nedar's daughter, Helena,

And won her soul; and she (sweet lady) dotes,

Devoutly dotes, dotes in idolatry,

Upon this spotted and inconstant man.

Yusuke- I must confess that I have heard so much,

And with Demetrius thought to have spoke thereof,

But, being over-full of self-affairs,

My mind did lose it. But, Demetrius, come;

And come, Shishi-

Shishi- That's Egeus.

Yusuke- Whatever. You shall go with me;

I have some private schooling for you both.

For you, fair Hermia, look you arm yourself

To fit your fancies to your father's will;

Or else the law of Athens yields you up

(Which by no means we may extenuate)

To death or to a vow of single life.

Come, my, er, dear. What cheer, my love?

Demetrius and, er, Shishi, go along.

I must employ you in some business

Against our nuptial and confer with you

Of something nearly that concerns yourself.

Shishi- With duty and desire we follow you.

Hiei- Yeah right.

(All exit except for Kurama and Yukina.)

Kurama- How now, my love? Why is your cheek so pale?

How chance the roses there do fade so fast?

Yukina- Belike for want of rain, which I could well

Between them from the tempest of my eyes.

Kurama- Ay me! for aught that I could ever read,

Could ever hear by tale or history,

The course of true love never did run smooth;

But, either it was different in blood-

Yukina- *interrupting* O cross! too high to be enthralled to low!

Kurama- Or else, misgraffed in respect of years-

Yukina- O spite! too old to be engaged to young!

Kurama- Or else it stood upon the choice of friends-

Yukina- O hell! to choose love by another's eyes!

Kurama- Or, if there were a sympathy in choice,

War, death, or sickness did lay siege to it,

Making it momentary as a sound,

Swift as a shadow, short as any dream,

Brief as the lightning in the collied night,

That, in a spleen, unfolds both heaven and earth,

And ere a man hath power to say "Behold!"

The laws of darkness do devour it up:

So quick bright things come to confusion.

Yukina- If then true lovers have been ever crossed,

It stands as an edict in destiny.

Then let us teach our trial patience,

Because it is a customary cross,

As due to love as thoughts and dreams and sighs,

Wishes and tears, poor Fancy's followers.

Kurama- A good persuasion. Therefore hear me, Hermia.

I have a widow aunt, a dowager,

Of great revenue, and she hath no child:

From Athens is her house remote seven leagues;

And she respects me as her only son.

There, gentle Hermia, may I marry thee;

And to that place the sharp Athenian law

Cannot pursue us. If thou lovest me then,

Steal forth thy father's house tomorrow night;

And in the wood, a league without the town,

Where I did meet thee once with Helena

To do observance to a morn of may,

There will I stay for thee.

Yukina- My good Lysander!

I swear to thee by Cupid's strongest bow,

By his best arrow, with the golden head,

By the simplicity of Venus' doves,

By that which knitteth souls and prospers loves,

And by that fire which burned the Carthage queen

When the false Troyan under sail was seen,

By all the vows that ever men have broke

(In number more than ever women spoke),

In that same place thou hast appointed me

Tomorrow truly will I meet with thee.

(Some wolf calls and whistles come from the audience, but a really big and heavy book gets thrown at them and it has the title "William Shakespeare" imprinted on the front, thrown by Hiei and provided by yours truly.)

Kurama- Keep promise, love. Look, here comes Helena.

(Ryoken comes on stage. She too is dressed in Greek garbs. Everyone backstage who absolutely hated what parts they were given, now realizing that she was here now, glares and starts to plot her demise. Hiei starts searching around for Triwatch in order to question her.)

Yukina- God speed fair Helena! Whither away?

Ryoken- Call you me fair? That fair again unsay.

Demetrius loves your fair. O happy fair!

Your eyes are lodestars, and your tongue's sweet air

More tuneable than lark to shepherd's ear

When wheat is green, when hawthorn buds appear.

Sickness is catching. Oh, were favor so,

Yours would I catch, fair Hermia, ere I go!

My ears should catch your voice, my eye your eye,

My tongue should catch your tongue's sweet melody.

Were the world mine, Demetrius being bated,

The rest I'd give to be to you translated.

O, teach me how you look, and with what art

You sway the motion of Demetrius' heart!

Yukina- I frown upon him, yet he loves still.

Ryoken- O that your frowns would teach my smiles such skill!

Yukina- I give him curses, yet he gives me love.

Ryoken- O that my prayers could such affection move!

Yukina- The more I hate, the more he follows me.

Ryoken- The more I love, the more he hateth me.

Yukina- His folly, Helena, is no fault of mine.

Ryoken- None but your beauty: would that fault were mine!

Hermia- Take comfort, he no more shall see my face;

Lysander and myself will fly this place.

Before the time I did Lysander see,

Seemed Athens as a paradise to me.

O, then, what graces in my love do dwell

That he hath turned a heaven unto a hell!

Kurama- Helen, to you our minds we will unfold:

Tomorrow night, when Phoebe doth behold

Her silver visage in the wat'ry glass,

Decking with liquid pearl the bladed grass

(A time that lovers' flights doth still conceal),

Through Athens gates have devised to steal.

Yukina- And in the wood where often you and I

Upon faint primrose beds were wont to lie,

Emptying our bosoms of their counsel sweet,

There my Lysander and myself shall meet,

And thence from Athens turn away our eyes

To seek new friends and stranger companies.

Farewell, sweet playfellow. Pray thou for us;

And good luck grant thee thy Demetrius!

Keep word, Lysander. We must starve our sight

From lovers' food till morrow deep midnight.

Kurama- I will, my Hermia.

(Yukina exits.)

Kurama- Helena, adieu.

As you on him, Demetrius dote on you!

(Kurama exits. Fangirls whine.)

Ryoken- How happy some o'er other some can be!

Through Athens I am thought as fair as she.

But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so;

He will not know what all but he do know.

And as he errs, doting on Hermia's yes,

So I, admiring of his qualities.

Things base and vile, holding no quantity,

Love can transpose to form and dignity.

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;

And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

Nor hath Love's mind of any judgment taste:

Wings, and no eyes, figure unheedy haste.

And therefore is Love said to be a child,

Because in choice he is so oft beguiled.

As waggish boys in game themselves forswear,

So the boy Love is perjured everywhere;

For ere Demetrius looked on Hermia's eyne,

He hailed down oaths that he was only mine;

And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt,

So he dissolved, and show'rs of oaths did melt.

I will go tell him of fair Hermia's flight.

Then to the wood will he tomorrow night

Purse her; and for this intelligence

If I have thanks, it is a dear expense;

But herein mean I to enrich my pain,

To his sight thither and back again.

(Ryoken exits and the curtain is drawn.)

Backstage...

(All with complaints swarm Ryoken.)

Ryoken- Whoa, whoa, WHOA! OI, there's only ichi of me, no da!! Iie, wait...-

(Hiei comes back, Triwatch happily following behind him, skipping. He doesn't look very happy, not that he was thrilled to begin with.)

Hiei- *holding up a script* What's this I hear about Helena's part being sabotaged?

Ryoken- Dare?? Doke?? I am drowning in a sea of people at the moment!! *gurgle*

Hiei- -_-()

(Triwatch somehow pulls Ryoken out from the crowd of people.)

Ryoken- Arigato ^_^

Triwatch- Douitashimashite! ^_^

(Hiei notices how strangely alike they seem, but shakes it off.)

Hiei- Triwatch told me your little scheme.

Ryoken- Um, do I not always have a scheme brewing?

Hiei- That is somewhat true, but I'm talking about the play!

Ryoken- Ohhhh...Erm...Ehehe... ^^() So, what about it?

Hiei- -_- ...Doushite?!

Ryoken- Weeeeeeeell, I figured since I've done the part before, why not do it again!

Hiei- Stop lying, you've never played this part before in your life.

Ryoken- Dan your Jagan eye!!!

Hiei- Hey, no cursing the Jagan, oba-san.

Ryoken- Don't you be callin me an oba-san!

Hiei- Then what SHOULD I call you?? A baka??

(They start getting into an argument.)

In the audience...

Okubo (he's the big guys from Kuwabara's little gang, if you didn't know)- Oi, I thought this was supposed to be funny, not some romantic crap.

Kazemaru- It is a comedy. They just haven't gotten to the comical part of it yet.

Okubo- And wasn't that demon chick supposed to play Helena? What's the authoress doing playing the part?

Kazemaru- -_-() You know, I think I understand now how and why Kuwabara got you to join his gang.

Up in the loft, where there are more seats...

(Sakyo comes from up the stairs with some Twislers(not sure if it's spelt right) in his hand. He's trying hard not to laugh, his hand over his mouth.)

Younger Toguro- What's so funny?

Sakyo- *finally sits in his seat and lets his laughter loose*

(The Toguro brothers look at him strangely.)

Sakyo- *between laughs* Go...Go to the...the concession stand!

(The two shrug and go downstairs to the concession stand. The line is extremely long, but they go to the counter to see what's so funny. What they see is Karasu and Bui working behind the counter with black aprons on. The two make sure they didn't see them and hurriedly go back to their seats where they too, laugh their heads off.)

Back on stage...

(Everyone is still arguing and complaining.)

Triwatch- *frustrated* URUSEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Everyone is silenced.)

Triwatch- Arigato. Now, I know that a lot of you guys are unhappy with what parts you have, but not everyone can be one character! And even though I'm sure a lot of you didn't want to be in this play in the first place, you've just got to make the best of it! And you two *points at Ryoken and Hiei* stop fighting already! We've got enough trouble around here as it is. And besides, the next scene is about to start and you can argue at the first intermission.

Kuwabara- Hey kid, who died and made you director?!

Ryoken- *death glare* I did. 'Cept I didn't die...Or at least not yet...

Triwatch- Anyway...Can we just get on with the last scene? Pleaaaaaaaaaaase?? *uses her undefeatable-cute-eyes look*

(They sigh and Jin, Touya, Chuu, Kuwabara, Rando, and Suzuka go on stage. The curtains are pulled back.)

And we'll stop right there! I'll just do the chapters by each scene, make it easy on myself. I hope you enjoyed it and will henji!

English translation of words:

jaa ne- see you

Kodeke- here

Oi- hey

ichi-one

no da- you know

Iie- no

Dare- who

Doke- where

arigato- thank you

douitashimashite- you are welcome

doushite- why?

dan- damn

oba-san- little girl

urusei- shut up

henji- review