Ok, sorry, HERE'S where the confusion starts. And uh, confidentially folks, I don't own YYH or Shakespeare's A Mid-Summer Night's Dream. Read on!
A Yu Yu-Summer Night's Dream
By Ryoken
*The audience is still asleep in their seats, except for the fangirls, who are all impatiently awaiting the bishounens' return to the stage. Backstage, VT moves the potted plants around a bit to make it seem like a different part of wood with a snap of her fingers. She then starts to run towards the exit that connects to the audience, glomping Yusuke along the way (Yusuke-Oo). She disappears as she runs up the aisle and through the double doors. No one notices her. *
Koenma-*goes up to Ryoken* Do we really have to do on? Except for those evil fangirls, the audience is asleep!
Ryoken- As they say in showbiz, the show MUST go on!
*Koenma sighs and gets into position. The curtain rises without any nuisances from the people upstairs and Boton, Juri, Koto and some random fairies come out onto the stage*
Boton- Come, now a roundel and a fairy song;
Then, for the third part of a minute, hence-
Some to kill cankers in the musk-rose buds,
Some war with reremice for their leathern wings,
To make my small elves coats, and some keep back
The clamorous owl, that nightly hoots and wonders
At our quaint spirits. Sing me now asleep.
Then to your offices, and let me rest. *sits down*
Koto- *without enthusiasm* You spotted snakes with double tongue,
Thorny hedgehogs be not seen;
Newts and blindworms, do not wrong,
Come not near our Fairy Queen.
*Ryoken thinks for a minute, then runs into a separate room. She comes out with a red-hot poker and makes a sound so Koto would look at her. Ryoken grins maliciously as she points it at Koto. She gulps.*
All Fairies- Philomel, with melody
Sing in our sweet lullaby;
Lulla, lulla, lullaby; lulla lulla lullaby;
Never harm,
Nor spell nor charm
Come our lovely lady nigh.
So good night, with lullaby.
Koto- *with a lot of renewed enthusiasm* Weaving spiders, come not here;
Hence, you long-legged spinners, hence!
Beetles black, approach not near;
Worm nor snail, do no offense.
Offstage...
Yusuke- Where did you get the poker?!
Ryoken- I got it from the devils in the refrigerator.
Yusuke- Oro??
Ryoken- The devils in the refrigerator.
Yusuke- Ohhhhhhkay then...
Keiko- There are devils in the refrigerator??!?
Ryoken- Yeah, someone must have set a fire in there cause there are flames all over...
Hiei-...You saw a fire in the refrigerator and you didn't tell anyone until now?
Ryoken- ^_^ No, why?
Hiei- ...
*Ogres and some other people who were part of the team run into the dressing room where the fridge is located and try to put the fire out.*
Back onstage...
All fairies- Philomel, with melody
Sing in our sweet lullaby;
Lulla, lulla, lullaby; lulla lulla lullaby;
Never harm,
Nor spell nor charm
Come our lovely lady nigh.
So good night, with lullaby.
*Boton lies down and pretends to be asleep*
Juri- Whoohoo, I finally get to say my line!
*with lots of enthusiasm and loudly* Hence, away! Now all is well.
One aloof stand sentinel!
(All the fairies leave. Koenma sneaks in, real cartoon like, and drops a few droplets of water on Boton's eyelids.)
Koenma- *sighs, with no enthusiasm* What thou seest when thou dost wake,
Do it for thy true-love take;
*Sees the poker still in Ryoken's hand*
*enthusiastically* Love and languish for his sake.
Be it ounce or cat or bear,
Pard, or boar with bristled hair
In thy eye that shall appear
When thou wak'st, it is thy dear.
Wake when some vile thing is near.
*He exits the side opposite of Ryoken. Kurama and Yukina enter, Kurama really trying his best to ignore the fangirls who are right at the stage.*
Kurama- Fair love, you faint with wand'ring in the wood;
And to speak troth, I have forgot our way.
We'll rest us, Hermia, if you think it good,
And tarry for the comfort of the day.
Yukina- Be it so, Lysander. Find you out a bed;
For I upon this bank will rest my head.
Kurama- One turf shall serve as pillow for us both;
One heart, one bed, two bosoms, and one troth.
*Hiei can be seen backstage grinding his teeth*
Yukina- Nay, good Lysander; for my sake, my dear,
Lie further off yet, do not lie so near.
*one demon from the audience wakes up*
Random audience member- Oooooo, he got told!!!!
*Another audience member, a demon, wakes up*
Other random audience member- You understood what was going on?!?
Random audience member- No, just that one line.
Other random audience member- -_-' Baka...
Kurama- O, take the sense, sweet, of my innocence!
Love takes the meaning in love's conference.
I mean that my heart unto yours is knit,
So that but one heart we can make of it;
Two bosoms interchained with an oath;
So then two bosoms and a single troth.
Then by your side no bed-room me deny;
For lying so, Hermia, I do not lie.
Yukina- Lysander riddles very prettily.
Fangirls- Yeah...
^^'. Now much beshrew my manners and my pride
If Hermia meant to say Lysander lied!
But, gentle friend, for love and courtesy
Lie further off, in humane modesty,
Such separation as may well be said
Becomes a virtuous bachelor and a maid,
So far be distant; and good night, sweet friend,
Thy love ne'er alter till thy sweet life end!
Kurama- Amen, amen-
*The whole audience wakes up*
All- IS IT OVER?!!?!?!?
Kurama- -_-' No.
All- Oh, rats.
Kurama- Amen, amen, to that fair prayer say I,-
*demon members of the audience hiss*
Fangirls-*to demons* SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!
Kurama- And then end life when I end loyalty!
Here is my bed. Sleep give thee all his rest!
*Fangirls sigh and swoon*
Kurama- ^^'
Yukina- With half that wish the wisher's eyes be pressed!
*The two lie down as well. Rinku enters on the wire, but he goes sailing past Kurama and exits. He comes out again a little slower and stops in front of Kurama.*
Rinku- Ehehe, Through the forest have I gone,
But Athenian found I none
On whose eyes I might approve
This flower's force in stirring love.
Night and silence! Who is here?
Weeds of Athens he doth wear.
This is he (my master said)
Despised the Athenian maid;
And here the maiden, sleeping sound
On the dank and dirty ground.
Pretty soul! she durst not lie
near this lack-love, this kill-courtesy.
Churl, upon thy eyes I throw
All the power this charm doth owe.
(Throws glitter on Kurama)
When thou wak'st, let love forbid
Sleep his seat on thy eyelid.
So awake when I am gone;
For I must now to Oberon.
*Rinku exits. Fangirls blink*
Random fangirl #1-...Did he just insult Kurama?
Random fangirl #2- I have no idea.
Random fangirl #3- He better not have!!
All other fangirls- YEAH!!!! :)
Kurama- *thinking* scary...
*Enter Hiei and Ryoken, running, somewhat*
Ryoken- Stay, though thou kill me, sweet Demetrius.
Hiei- I charge thee, hence, and do not haunt me thus!!
Ryoken- O, wilt thou darkling leave me? Do not so!
Hiei- Stay, on thy peril! I alone will go...HEY! GET OFF!!!! *tries to shake off wild rabid fangirl that escaped past security and was gnawing on his leg*
Ryoken- Hold still! *whips out a can of rabid-fangirl-be-gone and sprays the rabid fangirl. She suddenly disappears in a puff of smoke.*
Hiei-...I will buy that off of you.
Kurama- *getting up* Whatever prices he pays, I'll pay double.
Ryoken- HA! Sorry boys, but I'm gonna be needing this...
Kurama and Hiei- x.o
*Kurama lies back down and Hiei exits the stage, rather disappointed*
Ryoken- O, I am out of breath in this fond chase!
The more my prayer, the lesser is my grace.
Happy is Hermia, wheresoe'er she lies;
For she hath blessed and attractive eyes.
How came her eyes so bright? Not with salt tears.
If so, my eyes are oft'ner washed than hers.
No, no! I am as ugly as a bear;
For beasts that meet me run away for fear.
Therefore no marvel though Demetrius
Do, as a monster, fly my presence thus.
What wicked and dissembling glass of mine
Made me compare with Hermia's sphery eyne?
But who is here? Lysander! on the ground?
Dead, or asleep? I see no blood, no wound.
Lysander, if you live, good sir, awake.
Kurama- *awakes and sits up* And run through fire I will for thy sweet sake.
Transparent Helena! Nature shows art,
That through thy bosom makes me see they heart.
Where is Demetrius? O, how fit a word
Is that vile name to perish on my sword!
Ryoken- Do not say so, Lysander; say not so.
What though he love your Hermia? Lord, what though?
Yet Hermia loves you; then be content.
Kurama- Content with Hermia? No! I do repend
The tedious minutes I with her have spent.
Not Hermia, but Helena I love.
Who will not change a raven for a dove?
The will of man is by his reason swayed;
And reason says you are the worthier maid.
Things growing are not ripe until their season;
So I, being young, till now ripe not to reason;
And touching now the point of human skill,
Reason becomes the marshal to my will
And leads me to your eyes; where I o'erlook
Love's stories, written in Love's richest book.
Ryoken- Wherefore was I to this keen mockery born?
When at your hands did I deserve this scorn?
Is't not enough, is't not enough, you man,
That I did never, no, nor never can,
Deserve a sweet look from Demetrius' eye,
But you must flout my insufficiency?
Good troth, you do me wrong! good sooth, you do!
In such a disdainful manner me to woo.
But fare you well. Perforce I must confess
I thought you lord of more true gentleness.
O, that a lady, of one man refuse,
Should of another therefore be abused!
(Ryoken storms off the stage.)
Kurama- She sees not Hermia. Hermia, sleep thou there,
And never mayst thou come Lysander near!
For, as a surfeit of the sweetest things
The deepest loathing to the stomach brings,
Or as the heresies that men do leave
Are hated most of those they did decieve,
So thou, my surfeit and my heresy,
Of all be hated, but the most of me!
All, all my powers, address your love and might
To honor Helen and to be her knight!
(Kurama exits in a big hurry. Yukina wakes up)
Yukina- Help me, Lysander, help me! Do thy best
To pluck this crawling serpent from my breast!
Ay me, for pity, what a dream was here!
Lysander, look how I do quake with fear.
Methought a serpent eat my heart away,
And you sat smiling at his cruel prey.
Lysander! What, removed? Lysander! lord!
What, out of hearing? gone? no sound, no word?
Alack, where are you? Speak, an if you hear.
Speak, of all loves! I swoon almost with fear.
No? Then I well perceive you are not nigh:
Either death or you I'll find immediately.
(Yukina exists and the curtain closes. Triwatch comes onstage)
Triwatch- Intermission time! The show starts again in fifteen minutes!
Sorry about the wait!