Ok, here's act three. Not much to say, I don't know YYH or A Midsummer's Night Dream
A Yu Yu-Summer Night's Dream
By Ryoken
*Everyone in the audience has gone to the snack bar at the same time, and the line is horrendous. Ryoken has decided that perhaps Karasu and Bui need some help so she asked some of the ogres to go to kitchen duty.*
Karasu- *evil grin*
Ogres-*meep*
*Meanwhile, backstage...things are hectic. No one can go in the dressing room because they are afraid the fire might spread (the ogres hadn't been able to put the fire out inside of the fridge). The scenery was in place, but VT was still no where to be found.*
Jin- Oi, I really need a drink. Ryoken, isn't there anyplace around here a wind master might get a drink besides that bloody hell of a line?
Ryoken- Not unless you dare to brave the flames of the refrigerator.
Jin- -_-' Aww screw it, I'm going in!!!
(Jin marches into the dressing room and immediately opens the fridge door only to have VT fall out of the fridge)
VT- JIIIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!! *glomps him* Look, look, I want you to meet BOB, the Unholy Rubber Duck of DOOM!!!! *holds a rubber duck with shades on in front of Jin's face and takes a drink of her Mountain Dew (don't own that either!!)*
Jin- ^^' Er, Hello Bob.
VT- No no, his name isn't Bob, it's BOB!!
Jin- Oh, my mistake.
*VT goes running out the door. Jin tries opening the door again and faces the devils who look up at him*
Jin- Er, you wouldn't happen to have something to drink, would you?
Devil 1- Certainly! *hands him sake*
Jin- Uh, thanks!
Backstage...
*VT runs up to Ryoken. She taps her on the shoulder and she turns around*
Ryoken- Oh, you're back!
VT- Aye, captain! *hands her an over-stuffed envelope*
Ryoken- Whoa, that's a lot...
VT- Seysey!!
Ryoken- *opens the envelope and takes out one picture and then shoves it back in the envelope, sweatdropping* Holy mother of the dark gods...If these didn't have a purpose, I would give them to the refrigerator devils to burn...
VT- I know!! ^_^
Ryoken- *flinches and hides the envelope out of sight*
*VT goes running back to the dressing room, running into and glomping Yusuke along the way (Yusuke- Oo?). Triwatch comes up to Ryoken*
Triwatch- I just had a thought. Was it VT who brought those devils here?
Ryoken- Yup.
Triwatch- Aha! Pay up!
Rinku- Awwww darn it!!! *gives her the ten dollars*
*Triwatch puts the money in her pocket*
In the audience...
Genbu- Heh heh, Suzaku's part is coming up next...
Seiryu- It is? Well, it's about time.
Byakko- What is he again?
Seiryu-...A fairy.
Byakko- Oh yeah...Heh heh, hey, Genbu, you ready?
Genbu- Yes.
*Genbu whips out a video recorder AND a digital camera and hands the camera to Byakko*
Murugu- Just what in spirit world are you doing?
Genbu- Blackmailing Suzaku, what does it look like?
Seiryu- What in the three makais for?!
Byakko- He doesn't pay us enough.
Murugu and Seiryu- *sweatdrop*
*Triwatch comes out on stage*
Triwatch- The show is about to begin! If you would all please take your seats, we'll get started!
*Several demons get the bright idea to leave the auditorium because they don't want to watch the unintelligible Shakespearian play anymore. However, they are unable to escape as somehow all the exits became locked at the same time...*
VT- ^^' Ehehe...
*As everyone, well not everyone, some of the demons were going insane on the floor of the lobby, took their seats, the curtains were drawn to reveal the woods...again, re-arranged, and Botan sleeping on the floor. Chuu, Kuwabara, Jin, Touya, Rando, and Suzuka all enter with blank pieces of paper in their hands*
Kuwabara- Are we all here?
Chuu- Pat, pat *gets that what-the-hell look on his face again*; and here's a marvelous convenient place for our rehearsal. This green plot shall be our stage, this hawthorn brake our tiring house, and we will do it in action as we will do it before the duke.
Kuwabara- Peter Quince!
Chuu- What sayest thou, bully Bottom?
Kuwabara- There are things in this Comedy of Pyramus and Thisby that will never please. First, Pyramus must draw a sword to kill himself; which the ladies cannot abide. How answer you that?
Touya- By'r lakin, a parlous fear!
Suzuka- I believe we must leave the killing out, when all is done.
Kuwabara- Not a whit: I have a device to make all well. Write me a prologue; and let the prologue seem to say, we will do no harm with our swords, and that Pyramus is not killed indeed; and for the more better assurance, tell them that I Pyramus am not Pyramus, but Bottom the weaver. This will put them out of fear.
Chuu- Well, we will have such a prologue, and it shall be written in eight and six? *another look of confusion*
Kuwabara- *gets the same look* No, make it two more: let it be written in eight and eight.
Touya- Will not the ladies be afeard of the lion?
Suzuka- I fear it, I promise you.
Kuwabara- Masters, you ought to consider with yourselves, to bring in (God shield us!) a lion among ladies is a most dreadful thing. For there is not a more fearful wild-fowl than your lion living...Actually I could think of a lot worse than some old lion...
Touya- Therefore another prologue must tell he is not a lion.
Kuwabara- Nay, you must name his name, and half his face must be seen through the lion's neck, and he himself must speak through, saying thus, or to the same defect: "Ladies"-or "Fair ladies, I would wish you"-or "I would request you"-or "I would entreat you-not to fear, not to tremble. My life for yours! If you think I come hither as a lion, it were pity of my life. No! I am no such thing, I am a man as other men are." And there, indeed, let him name his name and tell them plainly he is Snug the joiner.
Chuu- Well, it shall be so. But there is two hard things: that is, to bring the moonlight into a chamber: for, you know, Pyramus and Thisby meet by moonlight.
Kuwabara- They do?
Touya- Doth the moon shine that night we play our play?
Kuwabara- A calendar, a calendar! Look in the almanac. Find out moonshine, find out moonshine!
*Hiei takes this opportunity to throw an almanac at Kuwabara, which hits him square in the face. Chuu picks up the book and flips through it for several minutes until he finds what he was looking for*
Chuu- Yes, it doth shine that night.
Kuwabara- Why, then may you leave a casement of the great chamber window, where we play, open, and the moon may shine in at the casement.
Chuu- Ay; or else one must come in with a bush of thorns and a lantern, and say he comes to disfigure, or to present, the person of Moonshine. then there is another thing: we must have a wall in the great chamber; for Pyramus and Thisby, says the story, did talk through the chink of a wall.
Touya- You can never bring in a wall. What say you, Bottom?
Kuwabara- Some man or other must be present Wall; and let him have some plaster, or some loam...or some roughcast about him, to signify wall...? and let him hold his fingers thus; and through that cranny shall Pyramus and Thisby whisper.
Chuu- If that may be, then all is well. Come, sit down, every mother's son, and rehearse your parts. Pyramus, you begin. When you have spoken your speech, enter into that brake; and so every one according to his cue.
*enter Rinku. He stops (on his wires) behind a brush*
Rinku- What hempen homespuns have we swagg'ring here,
So near the cradle of the Fairy Queen?
What, a play toward? I'll be an auditor;
An actor too perhaps, if I see cause.
Chuu- Speak, Pyramus. Thisby, stand forth.
Kuwabara- Thisby, the flowers of odious savors sweet-
Chuu- Odorous! odorous!
Kuwabara- odors savors sweet;
So hath thy breath, my dearest Thisby dear.
But hark, a voice! Stay thou but here awhile,
And by-and-by I will to thee appear.
*Kuwabara exits on the right side of the stage, even though he was supposed to exit on the left*
Rinku- A stranger Pyramus than e'er played here! *exits too, but on the left*
Jin- Must I speak now?
Chuu- Ay, marry, must you; for you must understand he goes but to see a noise that he heard, and is to come again.
Jin- *In a high pitched voice* Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue,
Of color like the red rose on triumphant brier,
Most brisky juvenal, and eke most lovely Jew,
As true as truest horse, that yet would never tire,
I'll meet thee, Pyramus, at Ninny's tomb.
Chuu- "Ninus' tomb," man! Why, you must not speak that yet. That you answer to Pyramus. You speak all your part at once, cues and all. Pyramus, enter. Your cue is past; it is "never tire."
Jin- O- As true as truest horse, that yet would never tire.
*Kuwabara enters with a donkey mask on, followed by Rinku. The entire audience laughs and can't seem to stop laughing*
Kuwabara- *getting pissed* If I were fair, Thisby, I were only thine.
Chuu- O monstrous! O strange! We are haunted. Pray, masters! Fly, masters! Help!
*Everyone runs off stage like hell has broken loose. Jin even goes so far as to jump off of the stage and exits through one of the doors that leads to the lobby, flying all the way. The audience claps for an encore.*
Rinku-*viciously* I'll follow you; I'll lead you about a round,
Through bog, through bush, through brake, through brier:
Sometime a horse I'll be, sometime a hound,
A hog, a headless bear, sometime a fire;
And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,
Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire, at every turn.
*Rinku then exits*
Kuwabara- Why do they run away? This is a knavery of them to make me afeard.
*Touya re-enters, trying not to laugh, but not succeeding very well*
Touya- O Bottom, th-thou art changed! Wha-what do I see on thee?
Kuwabara- *angrily* What do you see? You see an ass-head of your own, do you?
*Touya tries to exit, but falls on his face from laughing. He gets up and leaves. Chuu enters, but isn't laughing*
Chuu- Bless thee, Bottom! bless thee! Thou art translated.
*He then calmly exits. (A.N.- Oo Weirdo...)
Kuwabara- I see their knavery: this is to make an ass of me; to fright me, if they could. But I will not stir from this place, do what they can: I will walk up and down here, and I will sing, that they shall hear I am not afraid. *starts to sing, but off-key*
The woosel cock so black of hue,
With orange-tawny bill,
The throstle with his note so true,
The wren with little quill-
Botan- *wakes and sits up.* What angel wakes me from my flow'ry bed?
*Botan, and the rest of the audience winces from Kuwabara's singing*
Kuwabara- The finch, the sparrow, and the lark,
The plain-song cuckoo gray,
Whose note full many a man doth mark,
And dares not answer nay.
For, indeed, who would set his wit to so foolish a bird? Who would give a bird the lie, though he cry "cuckoo" never so?
Botan- I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again.
Mine ear is much enamored of thy note;
Everyone in the audience, and even some who aren't- NOOOO, DON'T SING AGAIN!!!!!!
-So is mine eye enthralled to thy shape;
And thy fair virtue's force (perforce) doth move me,
On the first view, to say, to swear, I love thee.
Kuwabara- Methinks, mistress, you should have little reason for that. And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays. The more the pity that some honest neighbors will not make them friends. Nay, I can gleek, upon occasion. *another confused look at the word gleek*
Botan- Thou art as wise as thou art beautiful.
Kuwabara- Not so, neighter; but if I had wit enough to get out of this wood, I have enough to serve mine own turn.
Botan- Out of this wood do not desire to go:
Thou shalt remain here, whether thou wilt or no.
I am a spirit of no common rate,
The summer still doth tend upon my state;
And I do love thee. Therefore go with me.
I'll give thee faeries to attend on thee;
And they shall fetch thee jewels from the deep,
And sing while thou on pressed flowers dost sleep;
And I will purge thy mortal grossness so
That thou shalt like an airy spirit go.
Peaseblossom! Cobweb! Moth! and Mustardseed!
*Enter Shizuru, Genkai(younger, but not youngest form), Koenma in his baby form, and Suzaku dressed as fairies. They all have their arms crossed as though they too, wanted to be anywhere but there. Genbu and Byakko begin to secretly tape and photograph their blackmail, but without (strangely) Suzaku noticing*
*they all have a lack of enthusiasm*
Shizuru- Ready.
Genkai- And I.
Koenma- And I.
Suzaku- And I.
All- Where shall we go?
Botan- Be kind and courteous to this gentleman.
Hop in his walks and gambol in his eyes;
Feed him with apricocks and dewberries,
With purple grapes, green figs, and mulberries;
The honey-bags steal from the humblebees,
And for night tapers crop their waxen thighs,
And light them at the fiery glowworm's eyes,
To have my love to bed and to arise;
And pluck the wings from painted butterflies
To fan the moonbeams from his sleeping eyes.
Nod to him, elves, and do him courtesies.
Shizuru- Hail, mortal.
Genkai- Hail.
Koenma- Hail.
Suzaku- Hail.
Kuwabara- I cry your worships mercy, heartily. I beseech your worship's name.
Genkai- *sweatdrop* Cobweb.
Kuwabara- I shall desire you of more acquaintance, good Master Cobweb. If I cut my finger, I shall make bold with you. Your name, honest gentleman?
Shizuru- *hits Kuwabara* That's gentleWOman, you baka. Peaseblossom.
Kuwabara-*Now with a blackeye* Right. I pray you, commend me to Mistress Squash, your mother, and to Master Peascod, your father. Good Master Peaseblossom, I shall desire you of more acquaintance too. Your name, I beseech you, sir?
Suzaku- Mustardseed.
Kuwabara- Good Master Mustardseed, I know your patience well. That same cowardly, giant-like ox-beef hath devoured many a gentleman of your house. I promise you your kindred hath made my eyes water ere now. I desire you of more acquaintance, good Master Mustardseed.
*Suzaku raises an eyebrow. What the hell did he just say?!*
Botan- Come wait upon him; lead him to my bower.
The moon, methinks, looks with a wat'ry eye;
And when she weeps, weeps every little flower,
Lamenting some enforced chastity.
Tie up my love's tongue, bring him silently.
*Everyone exits and the curtains close as they prepare for the next scene. Kuwabara tries to take off the mask until his next part comes, but it's stuck on his head. Ryoken is heard whistling softly in the background.*
Kuwabara- Hey, someone help me outta this thing!!!
Hiei- Why? I think it's a nice improvement.
Kuwabara- Grrrrrr, when I get my hands on you, Shrimp!!!!
*Kuwabara starts to chase after Hiei, who promptly disappears using his speed, but he trips and falls flat on his face, making everyone roar with laughter again.*
Tune in for the next scene, sometime in the future, when I get off my lazy ass to do it ^^