The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows, a harry potter fanfic

The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows * By LTDan

A/N: It usually takes people a while to figure this song out, so for your convenience, I have posted a short little description of the song below. Oh, and thanks to Erin for helping me out with this. I needed it!

Fanfic Inspiration Source: "You know your mother, Malfoy?" ... "That expression she's got, like she's got dung under her nose? Has she always looked like that, or was it just because you were with her?" For once, I do believe our Harry has stumbled onto something... maybe it was just because he was with her...

Song Meaning: The song is about a guy (or girl, but the singers are guys) who loses his wife unexpectedly. They were in love at first, but they eventually grew bored of each other. He never realized how much he loved her until she was gone from him forever. ± ± Kinda contrasts what I'm getting at, but I lurve this song, and it kinda, sorta fits. Yeah. I know it's more of a Lucius/Narcissa, but, dammit, I don't ship them! YEAH! Humph.

Disclaimer: I don't own Narcissa, Remus, Lucius, Draco, James, Sirius – or anyone/thing else you recognize. The song, The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows, belongs to the Brand New, is from their CD, Deja Entendu. I very much recommend you buy this CD. :)

*~LTDan~*

We saw the western coast.
I saw the hospital.
Nursed the shoreline like a wound.
Reports of lover's trysts.
Were neither clear nor descript.
We kept it safe and slow.
The quiet things that no one ever knows.

Oh, God. I got word today from Lucius. I'm on my way to see you now. But it will never be the same. Never. And I know it. I will not accept it until after I have seen you myself, but I know, deep down, that we have no second chance.

I place the last article in my bag as Lucius comes to the door.

"Going somewhere?" he drawls. He leans against the door frame, his arms folded over his chest.

"To see my sister," I lie. He will accept that answer, not the truth.

"Lestrange?" he says, raising his blonde eyebrows.

"Yes. Bellatrix," I sigh, picking up my bag.

"Have fun." He smirks, and leaves the room.

Now I can see you. Now I can tell you everything I should have told you over twenty years ago.

Keep the blood in your head and keep your feet on the ground.
Today's the day it gets tired. Today's the day we drop out.
Gave up my body and bed. All for an empty hotel.
Wasted words on lowercases and capitals.

I look down on your pale face, tears streaking my own.

"Remus..." I start. But I find I cannot finish what I came here to tell you.

It does not feel right. You can't be... like this. I know this sounds terrible, but I don't care - I was counting on Lucius's death. The day he died was the day I could marry you. I know you would have had me. You loved me, didn't you? So much for love. You left me, where Lucius did not. He doesn't love me like you did, though. I don't feel any love where I am now.

Not even towards my son. I long to love him, Remus. I can't look at him without seeing a miniature Lucius Malfoy. That was a terrible thing to say, Love, but it's the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts.

I tell you everything I feel, as if I expect you to answer. You will never answer though, Remus, and I can't help but feel sort of responsible. If I hadn't cowered under the pressure of my family, hadn't married Lucius, I would have married you. Draco, and more, I'm sure, would be your son. I would be your wife. You wouldn't have had to go out there. Trying to kill Lucius to protect me... It was my fault. And all I can do to make up for it is apologize.

I'm sorry.

I have to go now. The Potter boy is next. He can't see me like this.

I contemplate the day we wed.
Your friends are boring me to death.
The veil is ruined in the rain.
But then you knew I could do without.
There's nothing new to talk about.
And though our kids are blessed, the parents let them shoulder all the blame.

I don't go home immediately. I am at your house. The house where you had the party some twenty-one years ago. The house with everyone we know filling it. The house where we were sure we sealed our destiny.

*FLASHBACK*

"Hey! Hey!" you yell over the crowd of people and loud music. Your butterbeer sloshes all over James Potter's face as you raise it to the air, but he's probably too high on firewhiskey to notice.

It takes a bit of shouting and a few minutes, but everyone is now silent. "I've got a question to ask!" you shout from on top of the sturdy kitchen table — you made it yourself. I always admired that about you – your ability to do anything.

"Hurry and ask it! I've got a bed to fill!" my cousin, Sirius, yells back, clutching the waist of a young woman with silky black hair.

You smile slightly at your friend, then continue. "The question is this - " your eyes meet mine, and everyone sees it. " - Narcissa Black, will you marry me?" Sirius tosses you a small, shimmering golden object from below. Every person's eyes follow it to your hands.

I'm blushing furiously, but I don't care. You hand the golden object – a ring — to Peter Pettigrew, who hands it to Sirius Black, who hands it to James Potter, who hands it to me. They all, you included, raise their eyebrows at me, expecting my response.

"Remus!" I squeak finally. "Of course I'll marry you!"

*END FLASHBACK*

The best memory I have of you now—is the night that followed our acceptation of one another. I never wanted to make love to anyone else again after that night, and I hold true to that today.

I wander your house, recalling every part of every corner of every room. Nothing is the same as I remember it; it's all so much… older, and there are bits of furniture and other objects that have been replaced. It's hard to believe you left this place to me. I thought for two years that I would live here with you, and those two years were the happiest of my life.

But then Lucius happened, and I knew that that dream would not be possible. Thinking back now, I'm sure that you and I, and many young, happy little faces, would be sitting in this same house now… and there would be a different atmosphere about us. Not all this angst-ridden gloom that comes with your sudden disappearance. That would be so now, if I had stood up to Lucius and my blood-loving family.

Maybe I should just leave Lucius now. Just pack everything up — or live out of this bag — and live here, in your house. The house that we would have spent night after night in together. Should I do that? Would it make a difference, Remus? Could it make up for years of unrequited love?
I still feel this shouldn't have happened to you. It's my fault, in more ways than one. Twenty years ago, putting my foot down would have meant living my life with you, the only person I ever really cared about. And now, I'm directly responsible for your murder. You against Lucius and half a dozen other Death Eaters? Did I really think that even you, my "knight in shining armor", as they say in Muggle tales, could take on that much Dark Magic? I was wrong about that, Remus. And that's my fault. It's also my fault that I let Lucius abuse me like that. He was using me to get to Draco. To turn my son into a Death Eater. Still, you came to me. After I gave you up for Lucius, you came to me when I needed you. Is it too late, still?

I lie for only you. And I lie well. Halleluh.

I promised you, Remus, the night you fell, that I would not try to off myself again. I will hold true to that, no matter what. But there is one promise I cannot keep. I have to avenge you, Love. I can't go on living knowing that nothing was done about your… absence. I will do something about it.

I have been snuggled deep in the covers on your bed, taking in your sweet smell, but I stand, ready to leave. It almost scares me, Remus, what I would do for you. But I will do it, anyway. I Disapparate from your home, and am now back in my own bedroom.

You fell here, Remus. You know that as well as I do. I will lay in my bed until Lucius comes home. He will try something, but I will be ready. For you. So here I lay, and I lay here for minutes that seem endless. And he comes home.

"Hello, Narcissa," he says in a silky voice. "You've only been gone a day. What brings you home so soon?"

"I didn't go to Bellatrix's house," I spit, rising from the bed.

"I know." He smirks at me. With his eyes, though, not his mouth.

I do not say anything. This is not working the way I had thought it would. You'll forgive me, won't you, if I join you sooner than we planned? No—no, I won't think that way. I love you, Remus, but if I see you soon, Lucius Malfoy will come with me.

I quickly grab my wand. "Avad—!" But he dodges the spell, and it is now painfully obvious that he is a well-trained Death Eater.

"Going to kill me, Narcissa? Ahh… perhaps you'd like a duel? You, the dutiful housewife, versus me, the accomplished Death Eater? If you wish." He bows, his eyes not on me, but on the floor. He is not afraid.

I bow as well, but my gaze remains locked on his silver-blonde head. He looks up, smirking fully. I fear for my life; I know he will not spare me, if I am his wife. I rise too, and, as a pair, our wands come to shoulder height.

"Imperio!" he shouts, but I jump out of the way.

"Avada Kedavra!" A smashed mirror.

I battle with Lucius, my husband of twenty-one years, for some five minutes. He switches from the Imperius Curse, to the Cruciatus Curse, then to the Killing Curse. My spell does not change. I aim to kill.

"Avada Kedavra!" Draco's picture comes crashing off the wall in shards of broken glass.

"Avada Kedavra!" A whole in the wall the size of Britain.

"Avada Kedavra!" The door comes unhinged.

"Avada Kedavra!" The green light grazes Lucius's head as he doges.

"Avada Kedavra!" A bedpost explodes, littering the room with splinters.

"Avada Kedavra!" A body drops to the floor. And it isn't mine.

I bend over, checking where the spell hit. And, sure enough, there is a burn mark in the underside of his left arm.

All for you, Remus. He killed you—the only man who ever loved me. Possibly the only person. And I have killed him. No one will ever know who killed you. Just like no one will ever know I killed him.

FIN

A/N: I appreciate everyone's input in this, and Iris. It means a lot to me. Thus, this chapter is dedicated to Aimee, Erin, Liz, and Relle. Julie—did you help somewhere in the middle? Lol, I don't remember. If you did, this is to you too! :) Yes, short, I know. But aren't all my fics? Remember to review. All authors love reviews! :)

*~LTDan~*