Thanks to the people who reviewed.  All info is found in chapter 1…

FROM CHAPTER 1:

She dropped the letter, hoping he would still be outside.  The door seemed to open on its own and she could see his retreating figure getting in the elevator. 

            "Harm!!! Wait, please…"

CHAPTER 2:

            Mac rushed out the door, determined to stop him before it was too late.  She stood, watching the elevator doors close in her face, for about two seconds before she used to stairs.  As his car pulled out of her parking lot she was running out the stairwell door. 

            "Harm!! Wait!!!" she was screaming into the wind now, the tail lights of his car becoming a fainter red and then disappeared into the distance and hidden by the rain.  The rain seemed to sense her tears and fell harder around her.  She felt a sense of déjà vu come over her – standing in the pouring rain, crying as she watched the man she loves grow farther apart from her at an astronomical rate. 

            Making an abrupt about face, she sped up the stairs to her apartment in a frantic search for a pen and paper.  Shedding her wet clothes in favor of her "borrowed" US NAVY sweats, she plopped down at her desk and began to write…

Harm,

            I can't describe what is going through my head right now, so please bear with me and my jumbled thoughts.  You are an amazing man, one who does not deserve what we have been through and what I have put you through.  I know that whomever you decide to spend your life with will bring you joy, you deserve that.  With you I could be myself, no holding back.  I regret what I said and did in Paraguay.  If I could have foreseen what pain I caused you, believe me, my words would not have been said.  The years we have spent together as…friends I guess you could say…were the best years of my life.  I wish we could have been more, but there were too many missed chances and heated conversations, too many words left unspoken or taken the wrong way. 

I wish you would stay here, try to work this out…but I know that this, what ever it is, is not worth the time and energy.  I do know that at one time this was worth fighting for, maybe it still is and we don't realize it yet.  Maybe we could have gotten it right, but how long were we willing to wait?

I need you, in so many ways it scares me.  Not just you but everything that comes with you.  I always have and always will.  You gave me more than I could ever ask for.  I don't deserve a man like you, I realize that now.  The only problem is that you were my constant in life…you saved me.  A thousand times over.  I owe you everything, and you, Harm, you owe me nothing.  No explanation, no parting words.  You have every right to walk away and never look back.  I will wait forever for you…you're worth it.  I know you don't want me to but I will.  Even if nothing more than our friendship comes out of this, I will be grateful. 

I wish I could follow you where ever you are going like you did for me.  But I know that me following you won't help us.  It will only make you hate me more. 

For the record, I never asked you to follow me, to resign, to give everything up.  If I wanted a hero I would have let Clay die for me.  That's what he nearly did, you know, die for me.  I know you saw me kissing him; I could feel your eyes.  Please believe me when I say there is nothing between me and Clay.  I am forever in his debt because of his chivalry.  I don't know how else to explain it to you – he saved my life and I am eternally indebted. 

I don't mean to sound the way I am.  I wish I could have moved faster to stop you, to tell you this face to face.  I don't know how to get this to you, but I will use your way – sliding it under the door. 

I want you to believe what I am saying.  I know you will doubt the sincerity of my words.  As I watched you drive away I felt like you made your point, you had gotten the final word.  And I know that you heard me scream your name; that you heard me begging you to stop….but I digress…

I hope you find happiness out there.  You're an amazing man, a wonderful person who has much to offer.  The future for me is set in stone – JAG.  I hope your future isn't. 

I love you.  Always and forever.

Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie

Mac sealed the envelope.  She grabbed her keys, an umbrella and the letter she had just written him.  She opened the door and found him about to knock.

Her voice was barely a whisper, masked with surprise, "Harm, what are you doing here?"

So what is he doing at her door??? Review to find out…