A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Looks like it's
here to stay. Now, without further adieu, on with the story.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
Synthetic Emotions
Moving turned out to be much easier than Kagome would have thought, thanks mostly due to Inuyasha's physical strength. Within the first minute and a half, it became clear that she wasn't going to have to call Hojo to help her move furniture. After an hour and a half, Kagome was starting to think that Inuyasha was not only capable of lifting Kikyo's sofa by himself, but could probably of juggling her entire living room set. Now, she was thoroughly impressed by his manufacturers. First they had made what had to be the most realistic youkai she had ever seen, then they made him faster than any human could ever be, and stronger than any ten men together. And she was only beginning to find out about his features.
Kagome let her mind wander as she packed the dead woman's possessions into cardboard boxes. Her mother might have been right after all. Having the Companion youkai might not be so bad. His attitude wasn't always the best, but she was starting to think she could over look that. He might be handy to have around. She would never have to worry about not being able to open a jar again. 'And maybe I can convince him to give me another ride,' she thought a little hopefully.
"Hey, Kagome?" a high-pitched voice said, startling the girl out of her mentation.
"Shippo?" She looked around and found her fox youkai standing in the doorway. "What is it?"
"I was wondering, have you found any more number-locks?"
For a moment, Kagome didn't understand what she was hearing, then she recalled the piece of paper folded up in the pocket of the pants she'd taken off yesterday. There had been three combinations on it, but so far she'd only found one lock.
"No," she told Shippo. "I haven't. That's. . . very strange." She made a mental note to ask Kaede about the other numbers later. Or perhaps she should ask Inuyasha. He had been Kikyo's, after all. Maybe he would know.
"Aren't you going to find out what they're for?" Shippo asked with a childish curiosity that made Kagome smile.
"Not right now," she said. "Right now I'm going to finish this, then I'm going to order takeout, have a shower and go to bed. Whatever those combinations are for will just have to wait for a day when I have more time." The little youkai pouted, and Kagome's smile grew. "Come help me if you're bored"
"Youkai don't get bored," Inuyasha said, appearing as if by magic. The girl rolled her eyes.
"Not this again," she muttered under her breath. Fixing a disapproving glare on the hanyou, she said, "I was under the impression youkai didn't argue with their masters either."
"I am not arguing!" he said, voice rising defensively. He obviously didn't see the irony in this statement. Kagome could not help but laugh.
Inuyasha blinked, then edged away as though her sanity were in question. "Ah, I was going to see what you wanted me to do with the love- seat," he changed the subject quickly. "You want to toss it out with the rest?"
"Leave it. I'll decide what I want to do with it tomorrow." She duct- taped the last box, then sat back on her heels and pushed the hair out of her eyes. She was, she realized absently, very dirty. Even though Inuyasha had taken care of the heavy stuff, she had still managed to work up a sweat, and what was worse, she was absolutely covered in dust. She sighed, supposing that was a danger in cleaning out an apartment that hadn't been touched in fifty years. She was definitely going to appreciate that shower, but first, she was hungry.
Kagome stood, stretched, then went to find a phone book.
*~*~*
That night, Kagome had one of the best showers she had ever had in her life. It was amazing how she could not really pay any attention to the simple luxuries in life, like being able to stand under a jet of wonderfully hot water, then one day could put everything back in perspective. All and all, this ranked in the three best showers she'd ever taken. It was her first in her new home, in her own bathroom, which made it special, and after a day spent moving, it was doubly appreciated.
'I wonder what the best shower I ever took was?' she asked herself idly as she leaned back into the spray, soaking her hair.
Unbidden, Kagome remembered the first out door concert she'd ever gone to. She'd loved every moment of it, despite the fact it had been in the middle of a drought, with no shade whatsoever, and the temperature had gone over a hundred degrees. The venue was a park, but because of the weather and water rationing, the whole place had been a desert. When she got home, tired, sore and very dirty, she had really understood the beauty of the shower. That had to be the best shower she'd ever taken.
"That's kind of pathetic. . ." she mumbled, letting the hot water ease the aches in her shoulders. Most people's best shower ever probably involves another person.
Kagome sighed, suddenly a little less pleased with her situation.
Her love life was practically nonexistent. She had only had a couple of boyfriends in High School, and neither of them had been particularly serious. She was still friends with Hojo. She hadn't seen the other boy since he broke up with her. She hadn't really been attracted to Hojo, he was a friend, and when he asked her out, she gave him a chance. That was the story of their relationship. Eiji had been the complete opposite. She hadn't liked him at all, but there was this sort of chemistry. She regretted some of the things she did with him, even though they never went all the way. That was why they broke up. Looking back on it, she knew he had been a mistake from the beginning.
Normally Kagome wasn't depressed about being single. She liked to think of herself as a fairly self-sufficient girl, not the kind who always had to have somebody else all the time. Sometimes she wondered if she ought to have looked a little harder for another boyfriend after Eiji, though. Maybe then she wouldn't get so lonely at odd times.
Or maybe she was just sexually frustrated. That, in her mind, was not a good reason to start looking for a guy. After all, if all she wanted to do was sleep with someone, she had a perfectly good Companion youkai sitting in her living room.
Thinking of Inuyasha like that made butterflies the size blackbirds materialize in her stomach, and she suddenly found herself wondering what it would be like to have Inuyasha in the shower with her (he probably needed one, too, to wash off the dust if nothing else). She pictured what he would look like with his long white hair wet, clinging to his body, little rivulets of water running over his bare chest and torso--both of which she's had a good look at when she was trying to reactivate him. She could just see his dripping bangs falling in front of his amber eyes. Only, in the girl's imagination, his face wasn't drawn into the scowl that he always seemed to wear. Instead, his expression was soft and lazy, those golden eyes half lidded as he leaned toward her. . .
Kagome shook her head to rid it of the budding fantasy. She was willing to admit that the hanyou was handsome, because he was made to be, but that did not mean she was going to use him like that. For one, he was a jerk. For another, he had nearly killed her when they first met.
Kagome startled herself when she discovered that she had completely forgiven him for that.
'Shouldn't I be afraid of him?' She'd been terrified when she was actually choking her, but it was as though that fear had completely vanished almost as soon as he stopped being actively homicidal.
The real reason she would not use Inuyasha like that was because if she wanted him to, he would. It didn't matter if he wanted it or not. When Kagome slept with someone, it had to be because they both wanted it. She didn't care what her friends did with their youkai. Even if she hadn't known Inuyasha could feel, she would have been uncomfortable with the idea.
If she could know he did want her. . .
"God," the girl whispered under her breath, "I am not thinking about this. I haven't even had him for two whole days. What kind of girl does that make me?"
Kagome rinsed herself quickly and turned off the shower, finding that it had lost most of its appeal. Her wandering thoughts had left her with too much nervous energy the beginnings of a familiar bittersweet tension between her thighs. She tried her best not to pay attention to it while she dried herself and pulled on her robe. 'My own fault for letting my mind get away from me like that.
'Too bad. It had the makings to be a pretty good daydream, too.' Next, he might have kissed her. She wondered what he kissed like. Was he aggressive? Or was he gentle? She decided that he was probably a little of both. She could see how he might start out gentle, then grow more demanding as he went, until he was kissing her ruthlessly. He would touch her, but he would have to be careful because of his claws. A claw could touch her lightly, moving over her skin so she could feel it, but not hard enough to draw blood. The idea made her shiver. What would that feel like? To have him touch her ever-so delicately with his claws, or his fangs? She tried to imagine it. The way those claws would feel tracing patterns on her ribs, or her hips, or her face. How his sharp teeth would feel as they grazed her lips or her earlobe, or her collarbone.
She went to her room, and shut the door behind her. 'Why am I thinking this?' she asked herself. 'It's silly.' Kagome tried to derail this train of thought as she found her brush and pulled it through her wet black hair. 'Hm. Maybe I could brush his hair.' That could hardly be construed as abusing him. Even if he might object, it would still be fun to play with his hair, and 'everyone' like having their hair brushed. She might be able to scratch his ears, too. They were so soft, just like a real dog's ear.
'I wonder if they're sensitive?'
Finally accepting the inevitable, she set down her brush, closed her eyes, and gave in to her fantasy. Almost immediately, the girl's imagination supplied her with a new image of the hanyou, with firelight dancing across his skin and casting reddish shadows on his pale tresses. Her memory supplied her with the feeling of that beautiful, silky hair gliding through her fingers. Letting her mind take her where it would, she wasn't surprised when her imaginary Inuyasha tilted her chin up and kissed her, nor when he abandoned her lips to leave a trail of playful nibbles and kisses down her throat.
Kagome barely heard her door open. Huffing, she opened her eyes, and started to turn to find out what whoever it was wanted. She was shocked when strong arms caught her before she could face their owner. She was pulled back against a firm body, which seemed to curl around her. Her head came to rest against a shoulder, and white hair drifted before her eyes.
This was impossible. She'd just been fantasizing. She didn't really want. . . did she? Did she really want Inuyasha? He flattened the palm of one hand against her belly, pulling her yet closer. She fit as though he'd been made for her. Her breath quickened at the thought. How else might they fit together well?
Inuyasha nuzzled her neck, tracing the line of her throat from clavicle to ear. When he laid his mouth against the corner of her jaw, her mind went blank. She felt more than heard the rumble that came from his chest. He was growling, or. . . purring. The air around her seemed suddenly electric. Her whole body tingled with it, and she though that this must be what it felt like right before someone was struck by lightning.
Kagome turned her head to see the hanyou's face, to make sure he was really there.
Her heart broke when she saw the distant look in his eyes, the blank expression he wore.
"What was that for?" Kagome demanded, ripping herself free of his hold. The words did not come out quite as she meant them to, but she didn't care. He didn't even look as though he were in the same room with her. His mind was a million miles away.
"Wha--" Inuyasha pulled back, yellow eyes wide in confusion. "I'm designed to--"
"Well who said I wanted you to?" the girl snapped. Her face heated and she was sure she was turning bright red, because she had wanted him to very much.
"I thought. . ." he false-started, then clamped his jaw shut, took a deep breath, and began again. "I assumed that you would wish my services since you seemed aroused."
For a moment Kagome gaped at what he said. He thought he would want his services because she seemed aroused. It was such a sterile, heartless way to say it. And how did he know that, anyway? When she recovered, she whispered, "Get out."
"What did I--"
"Get out!" This time she shouted it. "Now. I don't want something fake!" Inuyasha made a face as though she had struck him. He recovered quickly, though, replacing his scowl, his hands flexing into angry fists.
"Fine!" he shouted back, turning on his heel and stalking out of Kagome's room. He slammed the door behind himself so hard it flew back open. She looked down at her own hands, which were shaking uncontrollably. Her anger faded to a dull sense of hurt.
"I want it to be real."
*~*~*
A/N: So what do you think of that? You didn't really think they were going to sleep together, did you? It's a little early for that. And now there is a little more complication for the romantic plot. Communication just isn't these two kids strong suit, is it?
As always, I'd love to know what my readers think.
Until next time.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.
Synthetic Emotions
Moving turned out to be much easier than Kagome would have thought, thanks mostly due to Inuyasha's physical strength. Within the first minute and a half, it became clear that she wasn't going to have to call Hojo to help her move furniture. After an hour and a half, Kagome was starting to think that Inuyasha was not only capable of lifting Kikyo's sofa by himself, but could probably of juggling her entire living room set. Now, she was thoroughly impressed by his manufacturers. First they had made what had to be the most realistic youkai she had ever seen, then they made him faster than any human could ever be, and stronger than any ten men together. And she was only beginning to find out about his features.
Kagome let her mind wander as she packed the dead woman's possessions into cardboard boxes. Her mother might have been right after all. Having the Companion youkai might not be so bad. His attitude wasn't always the best, but she was starting to think she could over look that. He might be handy to have around. She would never have to worry about not being able to open a jar again. 'And maybe I can convince him to give me another ride,' she thought a little hopefully.
"Hey, Kagome?" a high-pitched voice said, startling the girl out of her mentation.
"Shippo?" She looked around and found her fox youkai standing in the doorway. "What is it?"
"I was wondering, have you found any more number-locks?"
For a moment, Kagome didn't understand what she was hearing, then she recalled the piece of paper folded up in the pocket of the pants she'd taken off yesterday. There had been three combinations on it, but so far she'd only found one lock.
"No," she told Shippo. "I haven't. That's. . . very strange." She made a mental note to ask Kaede about the other numbers later. Or perhaps she should ask Inuyasha. He had been Kikyo's, after all. Maybe he would know.
"Aren't you going to find out what they're for?" Shippo asked with a childish curiosity that made Kagome smile.
"Not right now," she said. "Right now I'm going to finish this, then I'm going to order takeout, have a shower and go to bed. Whatever those combinations are for will just have to wait for a day when I have more time." The little youkai pouted, and Kagome's smile grew. "Come help me if you're bored"
"Youkai don't get bored," Inuyasha said, appearing as if by magic. The girl rolled her eyes.
"Not this again," she muttered under her breath. Fixing a disapproving glare on the hanyou, she said, "I was under the impression youkai didn't argue with their masters either."
"I am not arguing!" he said, voice rising defensively. He obviously didn't see the irony in this statement. Kagome could not help but laugh.
Inuyasha blinked, then edged away as though her sanity were in question. "Ah, I was going to see what you wanted me to do with the love- seat," he changed the subject quickly. "You want to toss it out with the rest?"
"Leave it. I'll decide what I want to do with it tomorrow." She duct- taped the last box, then sat back on her heels and pushed the hair out of her eyes. She was, she realized absently, very dirty. Even though Inuyasha had taken care of the heavy stuff, she had still managed to work up a sweat, and what was worse, she was absolutely covered in dust. She sighed, supposing that was a danger in cleaning out an apartment that hadn't been touched in fifty years. She was definitely going to appreciate that shower, but first, she was hungry.
Kagome stood, stretched, then went to find a phone book.
*~*~*
That night, Kagome had one of the best showers she had ever had in her life. It was amazing how she could not really pay any attention to the simple luxuries in life, like being able to stand under a jet of wonderfully hot water, then one day could put everything back in perspective. All and all, this ranked in the three best showers she'd ever taken. It was her first in her new home, in her own bathroom, which made it special, and after a day spent moving, it was doubly appreciated.
'I wonder what the best shower I ever took was?' she asked herself idly as she leaned back into the spray, soaking her hair.
Unbidden, Kagome remembered the first out door concert she'd ever gone to. She'd loved every moment of it, despite the fact it had been in the middle of a drought, with no shade whatsoever, and the temperature had gone over a hundred degrees. The venue was a park, but because of the weather and water rationing, the whole place had been a desert. When she got home, tired, sore and very dirty, she had really understood the beauty of the shower. That had to be the best shower she'd ever taken.
"That's kind of pathetic. . ." she mumbled, letting the hot water ease the aches in her shoulders. Most people's best shower ever probably involves another person.
Kagome sighed, suddenly a little less pleased with her situation.
Her love life was practically nonexistent. She had only had a couple of boyfriends in High School, and neither of them had been particularly serious. She was still friends with Hojo. She hadn't seen the other boy since he broke up with her. She hadn't really been attracted to Hojo, he was a friend, and when he asked her out, she gave him a chance. That was the story of their relationship. Eiji had been the complete opposite. She hadn't liked him at all, but there was this sort of chemistry. She regretted some of the things she did with him, even though they never went all the way. That was why they broke up. Looking back on it, she knew he had been a mistake from the beginning.
Normally Kagome wasn't depressed about being single. She liked to think of herself as a fairly self-sufficient girl, not the kind who always had to have somebody else all the time. Sometimes she wondered if she ought to have looked a little harder for another boyfriend after Eiji, though. Maybe then she wouldn't get so lonely at odd times.
Or maybe she was just sexually frustrated. That, in her mind, was not a good reason to start looking for a guy. After all, if all she wanted to do was sleep with someone, she had a perfectly good Companion youkai sitting in her living room.
Thinking of Inuyasha like that made butterflies the size blackbirds materialize in her stomach, and she suddenly found herself wondering what it would be like to have Inuyasha in the shower with her (he probably needed one, too, to wash off the dust if nothing else). She pictured what he would look like with his long white hair wet, clinging to his body, little rivulets of water running over his bare chest and torso--both of which she's had a good look at when she was trying to reactivate him. She could just see his dripping bangs falling in front of his amber eyes. Only, in the girl's imagination, his face wasn't drawn into the scowl that he always seemed to wear. Instead, his expression was soft and lazy, those golden eyes half lidded as he leaned toward her. . .
Kagome shook her head to rid it of the budding fantasy. She was willing to admit that the hanyou was handsome, because he was made to be, but that did not mean she was going to use him like that. For one, he was a jerk. For another, he had nearly killed her when they first met.
Kagome startled herself when she discovered that she had completely forgiven him for that.
'Shouldn't I be afraid of him?' She'd been terrified when she was actually choking her, but it was as though that fear had completely vanished almost as soon as he stopped being actively homicidal.
The real reason she would not use Inuyasha like that was because if she wanted him to, he would. It didn't matter if he wanted it or not. When Kagome slept with someone, it had to be because they both wanted it. She didn't care what her friends did with their youkai. Even if she hadn't known Inuyasha could feel, she would have been uncomfortable with the idea.
If she could know he did want her. . .
"God," the girl whispered under her breath, "I am not thinking about this. I haven't even had him for two whole days. What kind of girl does that make me?"
Kagome rinsed herself quickly and turned off the shower, finding that it had lost most of its appeal. Her wandering thoughts had left her with too much nervous energy the beginnings of a familiar bittersweet tension between her thighs. She tried her best not to pay attention to it while she dried herself and pulled on her robe. 'My own fault for letting my mind get away from me like that.
'Too bad. It had the makings to be a pretty good daydream, too.' Next, he might have kissed her. She wondered what he kissed like. Was he aggressive? Or was he gentle? She decided that he was probably a little of both. She could see how he might start out gentle, then grow more demanding as he went, until he was kissing her ruthlessly. He would touch her, but he would have to be careful because of his claws. A claw could touch her lightly, moving over her skin so she could feel it, but not hard enough to draw blood. The idea made her shiver. What would that feel like? To have him touch her ever-so delicately with his claws, or his fangs? She tried to imagine it. The way those claws would feel tracing patterns on her ribs, or her hips, or her face. How his sharp teeth would feel as they grazed her lips or her earlobe, or her collarbone.
She went to her room, and shut the door behind her. 'Why am I thinking this?' she asked herself. 'It's silly.' Kagome tried to derail this train of thought as she found her brush and pulled it through her wet black hair. 'Hm. Maybe I could brush his hair.' That could hardly be construed as abusing him. Even if he might object, it would still be fun to play with his hair, and 'everyone' like having their hair brushed. She might be able to scratch his ears, too. They were so soft, just like a real dog's ear.
'I wonder if they're sensitive?'
Finally accepting the inevitable, she set down her brush, closed her eyes, and gave in to her fantasy. Almost immediately, the girl's imagination supplied her with a new image of the hanyou, with firelight dancing across his skin and casting reddish shadows on his pale tresses. Her memory supplied her with the feeling of that beautiful, silky hair gliding through her fingers. Letting her mind take her where it would, she wasn't surprised when her imaginary Inuyasha tilted her chin up and kissed her, nor when he abandoned her lips to leave a trail of playful nibbles and kisses down her throat.
Kagome barely heard her door open. Huffing, she opened her eyes, and started to turn to find out what whoever it was wanted. She was shocked when strong arms caught her before she could face their owner. She was pulled back against a firm body, which seemed to curl around her. Her head came to rest against a shoulder, and white hair drifted before her eyes.
This was impossible. She'd just been fantasizing. She didn't really want. . . did she? Did she really want Inuyasha? He flattened the palm of one hand against her belly, pulling her yet closer. She fit as though he'd been made for her. Her breath quickened at the thought. How else might they fit together well?
Inuyasha nuzzled her neck, tracing the line of her throat from clavicle to ear. When he laid his mouth against the corner of her jaw, her mind went blank. She felt more than heard the rumble that came from his chest. He was growling, or. . . purring. The air around her seemed suddenly electric. Her whole body tingled with it, and she though that this must be what it felt like right before someone was struck by lightning.
Kagome turned her head to see the hanyou's face, to make sure he was really there.
Her heart broke when she saw the distant look in his eyes, the blank expression he wore.
"What was that for?" Kagome demanded, ripping herself free of his hold. The words did not come out quite as she meant them to, but she didn't care. He didn't even look as though he were in the same room with her. His mind was a million miles away.
"Wha--" Inuyasha pulled back, yellow eyes wide in confusion. "I'm designed to--"
"Well who said I wanted you to?" the girl snapped. Her face heated and she was sure she was turning bright red, because she had wanted him to very much.
"I thought. . ." he false-started, then clamped his jaw shut, took a deep breath, and began again. "I assumed that you would wish my services since you seemed aroused."
For a moment Kagome gaped at what he said. He thought he would want his services because she seemed aroused. It was such a sterile, heartless way to say it. And how did he know that, anyway? When she recovered, she whispered, "Get out."
"What did I--"
"Get out!" This time she shouted it. "Now. I don't want something fake!" Inuyasha made a face as though she had struck him. He recovered quickly, though, replacing his scowl, his hands flexing into angry fists.
"Fine!" he shouted back, turning on his heel and stalking out of Kagome's room. He slammed the door behind himself so hard it flew back open. She looked down at her own hands, which were shaking uncontrollably. Her anger faded to a dull sense of hurt.
"I want it to be real."
*~*~*
A/N: So what do you think of that? You didn't really think they were going to sleep together, did you? It's a little early for that. And now there is a little more complication for the romantic plot. Communication just isn't these two kids strong suit, is it?
As always, I'd love to know what my readers think.
Until next time.