Oks- here goes it. Chapter one (or rather 2 in terms of fanfic, but 1 in
terms of story. Oh whatever!) Short but I wanted to get it up quick, cause
all you had was a summery before. Hope you like.
***NEW*** I'm sry but I saw when I was reading my reviews and going over this myself that some adjustments had to be made. For example anything I had put in italics (ie-gary's thoughts) were not showing up in italics. SO then it just looked like mindless jabbering. Now thoughts are in *s ok?
And because I'm a perfectionist, I've edited a lot from the couple pieces of feedback I've gotten. I think It's better but we'll see. I'm pretty sure I like criticism too much cause I spent all last night deciding what to change and what to leave. Hope you like. Goddess Bless ~Raven
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Disclaimer- You know who belongs to who. Don't fret, I claim no one I shouldn't.
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In the 14th Year of the Reign of King Jonathan IV and Thayet, His Queen
~The Realms of the Gods
Ilena prepared herself to roll her last set of dice. This would be the roll that determined the bet. Losing would be admitting defeat. All her planning would have been in vain and all of the other gods would think her incompetent. It was a shame she had been tricked into this quest. She didn't even like the Wildmage, much less her unborn child.
She rolled, and the dice landed on a 6 and a 4. Already being one point up, there was little chance she would lose. But fate has a habit of interfering, even in the god's plans. Kyprioth rolled a perfect 12. Beating her and losing the bet.
"I'll see it done then," said the Trickster god as he walked away. Stopping at the door he paused, "You may meddle as you will, I doubt it will matter much. It will certainly not hinder me." He laughed as he strode away.
* * * In the 27th Year of the Reign of King Jon and his Queen Thayet
~The Kings Place in Corus
"Um, excuse me," said Gareth the Younger, at a loss for the proper words. "Miss?" *Damn, I forgot her name. Again. For such a striking youngster she does seem to slip the mind easily. * "Lady!" he almost cried with relief, finally finding an appropriate way of addressing the young girl in front of him. She looked up, "Your parents request that you go to the King's Meeting Rooms. They'd like to speak to you." As he walked away he remembered the child's name, *Ahah! That was it! I'll remember it next time. Right. Next time.* Five minutes later when a page came to ask a question, he had already forgotten.
* * *
The girl did not hold the Prime Minister's memory against him. Few ever remembered her name, and she had been called much worse. He was a busy and important man. He had with much to remember, so why would he remember a young girl's name who wasn't even remotely important to the Crown? Besides, Gary had always been kind to her.
She set off to the Meeting Rooms. It didn't take a genius to figure out what her parents wanted to tell her. They were leaving again, and once again they were not taking her with them. *And why should they?* She thought, *They're also important people to the Crown. They can't be encumbered by a girl who's empty inside. A girl with no gift,* she thought bitterly. Thinking back to what she knew of her birth, she knew she must have been a shocker. *Disappointment, more likely.*
As she walked she wondered what dangerous and exciting place they were going. Maybe Carthak, or the copper Isles. Maybe even Scanra. Without her of course, they'd be fairly safe. What noble they had conned into watching her this time? Maybe it would be Onua, the Crown's horsemistress, again. When her parents couldn't find a noble, they sent her to Onua. At least she remembered her name. Most of the time.
* * *
While Numair waited for his daughter inside of the King's main Meeting Room, he remorsed to leave his daughter behind. He hated having to leave the poor girl behind, but the reality was, she had no way to protect herself. And with her looks, she would need it more than any of them. At 13 she was already uncommonly pretty, not a beauty but the makings were already easy to see. For whatever magical genes he and Daine had regretfully, not managed to pass on, they made up with physical traits. She had inherited both his and Daine's best characteristics. As she entered the room, he saw Daine's clear blue dreaming eyes, her light skin, decided lips and softly curly hair. He saw that her hair coloring had been inherited from him, it was the darkest black. He laughed as he saw his own stubborn nose. Her height he observed, was deffanatly not his, she would not be anywhere near as tall.
"Hello, Mai," he greeted her, ""I'm sorry but we have to leave again. And this time Onua's coming with us."
* * *
Mai skipped off to find and tell Tobe she would be staying in the Palace after all. She had at first been disappointed when her father had told her she would be staying with very important people. They were always the worst. But she had resigned herself to the fact, that whatever noble they had assigned her to would probably forget, not only her name, but her entire existence, within a couple of days. Then she would be free to do whatever she liked. Which wouldn't be much due to the fact that wherever their fief was she had no friends there.
So when her mother announced that her care would be in the hands of the Queen Thayet herself, she did everything she could to stop herself from jumping for joy. The Queen was a monarch, too important to be bothered with the care of a lone child. And she would be staying home! She could do whatever she liked. The Queen however, had other plans in mind.
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oks, so I hope that was reasonably good. Tell me anything you have to say. Good and bad. Cause if it sucks already I can fix it hopefully without destroying any plot lines. Respond people! Oh, and I hope that wasn't too much of a cliffhanger. I tried to soften the blow. But you will have to wait to learn more about Tobe and about Thayet's plans. Hehehe. Tell me what you think. The button! The button! Press the Button!
Oh and as you can see, (in case you missed me telling you before hehehe) I've revised a lot based on you but any other advice, criticism, or praise is also welcome!
***NEW*** I'm sry but I saw when I was reading my reviews and going over this myself that some adjustments had to be made. For example anything I had put in italics (ie-gary's thoughts) were not showing up in italics. SO then it just looked like mindless jabbering. Now thoughts are in *s ok?
And because I'm a perfectionist, I've edited a lot from the couple pieces of feedback I've gotten. I think It's better but we'll see. I'm pretty sure I like criticism too much cause I spent all last night deciding what to change and what to leave. Hope you like. Goddess Bless ~Raven
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Disclaimer- You know who belongs to who. Don't fret, I claim no one I shouldn't.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In the 14th Year of the Reign of King Jonathan IV and Thayet, His Queen
~The Realms of the Gods
Ilena prepared herself to roll her last set of dice. This would be the roll that determined the bet. Losing would be admitting defeat. All her planning would have been in vain and all of the other gods would think her incompetent. It was a shame she had been tricked into this quest. She didn't even like the Wildmage, much less her unborn child.
She rolled, and the dice landed on a 6 and a 4. Already being one point up, there was little chance she would lose. But fate has a habit of interfering, even in the god's plans. Kyprioth rolled a perfect 12. Beating her and losing the bet.
"I'll see it done then," said the Trickster god as he walked away. Stopping at the door he paused, "You may meddle as you will, I doubt it will matter much. It will certainly not hinder me." He laughed as he strode away.
* * * In the 27th Year of the Reign of King Jon and his Queen Thayet
~The Kings Place in Corus
"Um, excuse me," said Gareth the Younger, at a loss for the proper words. "Miss?" *Damn, I forgot her name. Again. For such a striking youngster she does seem to slip the mind easily. * "Lady!" he almost cried with relief, finally finding an appropriate way of addressing the young girl in front of him. She looked up, "Your parents request that you go to the King's Meeting Rooms. They'd like to speak to you." As he walked away he remembered the child's name, *Ahah! That was it! I'll remember it next time. Right. Next time.* Five minutes later when a page came to ask a question, he had already forgotten.
* * *
The girl did not hold the Prime Minister's memory against him. Few ever remembered her name, and she had been called much worse. He was a busy and important man. He had with much to remember, so why would he remember a young girl's name who wasn't even remotely important to the Crown? Besides, Gary had always been kind to her.
She set off to the Meeting Rooms. It didn't take a genius to figure out what her parents wanted to tell her. They were leaving again, and once again they were not taking her with them. *And why should they?* She thought, *They're also important people to the Crown. They can't be encumbered by a girl who's empty inside. A girl with no gift,* she thought bitterly. Thinking back to what she knew of her birth, she knew she must have been a shocker. *Disappointment, more likely.*
As she walked she wondered what dangerous and exciting place they were going. Maybe Carthak, or the copper Isles. Maybe even Scanra. Without her of course, they'd be fairly safe. What noble they had conned into watching her this time? Maybe it would be Onua, the Crown's horsemistress, again. When her parents couldn't find a noble, they sent her to Onua. At least she remembered her name. Most of the time.
* * *
While Numair waited for his daughter inside of the King's main Meeting Room, he remorsed to leave his daughter behind. He hated having to leave the poor girl behind, but the reality was, she had no way to protect herself. And with her looks, she would need it more than any of them. At 13 she was already uncommonly pretty, not a beauty but the makings were already easy to see. For whatever magical genes he and Daine had regretfully, not managed to pass on, they made up with physical traits. She had inherited both his and Daine's best characteristics. As she entered the room, he saw Daine's clear blue dreaming eyes, her light skin, decided lips and softly curly hair. He saw that her hair coloring had been inherited from him, it was the darkest black. He laughed as he saw his own stubborn nose. Her height he observed, was deffanatly not his, she would not be anywhere near as tall.
"Hello, Mai," he greeted her, ""I'm sorry but we have to leave again. And this time Onua's coming with us."
* * *
Mai skipped off to find and tell Tobe she would be staying in the Palace after all. She had at first been disappointed when her father had told her she would be staying with very important people. They were always the worst. But she had resigned herself to the fact, that whatever noble they had assigned her to would probably forget, not only her name, but her entire existence, within a couple of days. Then she would be free to do whatever she liked. Which wouldn't be much due to the fact that wherever their fief was she had no friends there.
So when her mother announced that her care would be in the hands of the Queen Thayet herself, she did everything she could to stop herself from jumping for joy. The Queen was a monarch, too important to be bothered with the care of a lone child. And she would be staying home! She could do whatever she liked. The Queen however, had other plans in mind.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
oks, so I hope that was reasonably good. Tell me anything you have to say. Good and bad. Cause if it sucks already I can fix it hopefully without destroying any plot lines. Respond people! Oh, and I hope that wasn't too much of a cliffhanger. I tried to soften the blow. But you will have to wait to learn more about Tobe and about Thayet's plans. Hehehe. Tell me what you think. The button! The button! Press the Button!
Oh and as you can see, (in case you missed me telling you before hehehe) I've revised a lot based on you but any other advice, criticism, or praise is also welcome!