Summary: Songfic. Post Kyoto. Tatsumi POV. Sort of sequel to "Ambot
sa Imo" but you don't have to read that to read this.
Tagalog sections are marked of with "**". English translation of lyrics are marked of with "++".
"'Di Ko Na Kaya" translates as "I Can No Longer"
**Si Tatsumi ay torpe!**
Tatsumi is ... I do not have an English word which would sum up what 'torpe' means.
Torpe is sort of shy and indecisive, being unable to express one's feelings, usually in terms of love.
Disclaimers: Nothing has changed to make me own Yami No Matsuei or the "Tux". "Di Ko Na Kaya" is a song by the "Tux". Nothing has changed to let me make money out of this. Please do not sue. Thank you.
Warnings:
Mush.
Fluff?
Shonen-ai.
Spoilers.
I just translated the song to English. So I have two things to apologize for if you do not like this. One is the story and two is the song translation.
The song is originally Tagalog.
Racking brain for other warnings... and thinking how much should be said without spoiling the story...
Read at your own risk.
But then your are here to read a story... so here it is...
----------------
**Kahit saan mukha mo ay natatanaw bawat gabi ako'y hibang sa pagnais labis ko nang hinihintay ang araw nang matapat ang kalooban ko **
++Anywhere and everywhere your face I see Every night I'm delirious with desire So long I have been waiting for the day To confess my soul to you ++
I am here in my office. I have work to do but I catch myself thinking of you. I look into my coffee cup and I think of the back of your head... when you walk away from me.
I am glad your alright. I know you are just a wall away... probably lamenting how mean I was in scolding you earlier.
Truth be told, I was worried about you. I still do... but it is no longer my place.
At night when I am alone I think of you. The deep purple of the night sky makes me think of your eyes. I find the night rain depressing... they make me think of you crying. I thought I gave vent to my feelings after scolding you about your expense report but there are things which I left unsaid. There are other things aside from money.
Money I understand completely.
There are times I do not understand you at all. There are times I do not even understand myself. How can I feel so deeply for you?
**'Di ko na kayang pigilan ang damdamin 'Di ko na kayang hangarin ay malihim at ang tanging dasal ng puso kong alipin -- pag-ibig ko'y tanggapin....**
++I can no longer stop the feelings I can no longer keep secret what I wish and the only prayer of this helpless heart of mine -- accept my love ++
You may never get to know what I really feel for you.
I tell you I want you to be happy, but could I ever say that I ... want you? I push that thought aside. I squash it like a bug... that sounds so much like Hakushaku or that hentai Muraki.
Let me just love you from a far. I will not force myself on you. I know you need someone by your side. I know you need more that what I can give.
Kurosaki-kun... he needs you. He was able to do what no one else dared, because it was for you...
I tell this to myself so that I will not dare to hope. He can love you better. I tell myself if I really love you then I should stay out of the way.
So I stay away...I force my mind to face the task at hand. I have work to do.
**Mahulaan kaya sa kilos kong nalilito Ako'y nangangamba, baka 'di ma intindihan labis ko nang hinihintay ang araw nang matapat ang kalooban ko**
++Can it be guessed from my confused actions I'm scared, to be misunderstood So long I have been waiting for the day To confess my soul to you ++
Yet I don't really stay far away for too long. The day is almost finished. Like an ordinary workday, the others have left but you are at your desk. Are you sleeping again?
I scare you, when I wake you up. I didn't mean to but now your up.
You would never guess that you scare me too. I am scared that you might get hurt whenever you are out of my sight. I can't stay away for long because I need to see that you are alright.
I was scared when you where taken by that hentai. I was scared that you really wanted to die. I was even scared that you might never forgive me for saving you by accident from Touda's flame. I am even scared that you might find out it was an accident that I saved you.
Yet all these fears pale against the terror that you might discover this secret I keep.
The irony is I also want to share this secret with you.
**Ang hantungan ng pag-asa ko ay nasa 'yo lamang sisikapin matamo hanggat hindi nahahayag sa'yo 'Di ko na kayang pigilin ang damdamin (Ang hantungan ng pag-asa ko... 'Di ko na kayang hangarin ay malihim (Sisiskapin hanggang matamo... at ang tanging dasal ng puso kong alipin -- pag-ibig ko'y tanggapin... oh pag-ibig ko'y tanggapin**
++Only in you can my hope be fulfilled will continue to strive for as long as I haven't let you know I can no longer stop the feelings (My hope be fulfilled... I can no longer keep secret what I wish (Will continue to strive... and the only prayer of this helpless heart of mine -- accept my love... oh accept my love... ++
You are very dear to my heart.
There is no one else who can make me feel the way you do.
What can I do? What can you do when the love of your life (or afterlife) belongs with someone else?
You find away for the love of your life to be happy.
Even if it is with someone else.
This is the best that I can show you my love.
"Tsuzuki-san would you like some tea?"
It's your favorite brand so I know you won't refuse and I offer it with no strings attached.
"Tatsumi! Daisuke!"
You beam happily.
I smile.
No strings attached I tell myself.
I tell myself to be content, as you take your cup of tea.
"Sankyuu!"
OWARI
-----------
Author's post script:
There are other singers that I like but other writers have already used their songs.
Thank you for reading this and any of my other stories.
Thank you to everyone who has sent me a review.
I don't make promises about continuing stories lightly. It's Hisoka's influence after he scolded Tsuzuki about making promises so easily in "The Devil's Thrill".
Tagalog sections are marked of with "**". English translation of lyrics are marked of with "++".
"'Di Ko Na Kaya" translates as "I Can No Longer"
**Si Tatsumi ay torpe!**
Tatsumi is ... I do not have an English word which would sum up what 'torpe' means.
Torpe is sort of shy and indecisive, being unable to express one's feelings, usually in terms of love.
Disclaimers: Nothing has changed to make me own Yami No Matsuei or the "Tux". "Di Ko Na Kaya" is a song by the "Tux". Nothing has changed to let me make money out of this. Please do not sue. Thank you.
Warnings:
Mush.
Fluff?
Shonen-ai.
Spoilers.
I just translated the song to English. So I have two things to apologize for if you do not like this. One is the story and two is the song translation.
The song is originally Tagalog.
Racking brain for other warnings... and thinking how much should be said without spoiling the story...
Read at your own risk.
But then your are here to read a story... so here it is...
----------------
**Kahit saan mukha mo ay natatanaw bawat gabi ako'y hibang sa pagnais labis ko nang hinihintay ang araw nang matapat ang kalooban ko **
++Anywhere and everywhere your face I see Every night I'm delirious with desire So long I have been waiting for the day To confess my soul to you ++
I am here in my office. I have work to do but I catch myself thinking of you. I look into my coffee cup and I think of the back of your head... when you walk away from me.
I am glad your alright. I know you are just a wall away... probably lamenting how mean I was in scolding you earlier.
Truth be told, I was worried about you. I still do... but it is no longer my place.
At night when I am alone I think of you. The deep purple of the night sky makes me think of your eyes. I find the night rain depressing... they make me think of you crying. I thought I gave vent to my feelings after scolding you about your expense report but there are things which I left unsaid. There are other things aside from money.
Money I understand completely.
There are times I do not understand you at all. There are times I do not even understand myself. How can I feel so deeply for you?
**'Di ko na kayang pigilan ang damdamin 'Di ko na kayang hangarin ay malihim at ang tanging dasal ng puso kong alipin -- pag-ibig ko'y tanggapin....**
++I can no longer stop the feelings I can no longer keep secret what I wish and the only prayer of this helpless heart of mine -- accept my love ++
You may never get to know what I really feel for you.
I tell you I want you to be happy, but could I ever say that I ... want you? I push that thought aside. I squash it like a bug... that sounds so much like Hakushaku or that hentai Muraki.
Let me just love you from a far. I will not force myself on you. I know you need someone by your side. I know you need more that what I can give.
Kurosaki-kun... he needs you. He was able to do what no one else dared, because it was for you...
I tell this to myself so that I will not dare to hope. He can love you better. I tell myself if I really love you then I should stay out of the way.
So I stay away...I force my mind to face the task at hand. I have work to do.
**Mahulaan kaya sa kilos kong nalilito Ako'y nangangamba, baka 'di ma intindihan labis ko nang hinihintay ang araw nang matapat ang kalooban ko**
++Can it be guessed from my confused actions I'm scared, to be misunderstood So long I have been waiting for the day To confess my soul to you ++
Yet I don't really stay far away for too long. The day is almost finished. Like an ordinary workday, the others have left but you are at your desk. Are you sleeping again?
I scare you, when I wake you up. I didn't mean to but now your up.
You would never guess that you scare me too. I am scared that you might get hurt whenever you are out of my sight. I can't stay away for long because I need to see that you are alright.
I was scared when you where taken by that hentai. I was scared that you really wanted to die. I was even scared that you might never forgive me for saving you by accident from Touda's flame. I am even scared that you might find out it was an accident that I saved you.
Yet all these fears pale against the terror that you might discover this secret I keep.
The irony is I also want to share this secret with you.
**Ang hantungan ng pag-asa ko ay nasa 'yo lamang sisikapin matamo hanggat hindi nahahayag sa'yo 'Di ko na kayang pigilin ang damdamin (Ang hantungan ng pag-asa ko... 'Di ko na kayang hangarin ay malihim (Sisiskapin hanggang matamo... at ang tanging dasal ng puso kong alipin -- pag-ibig ko'y tanggapin... oh pag-ibig ko'y tanggapin**
++Only in you can my hope be fulfilled will continue to strive for as long as I haven't let you know I can no longer stop the feelings (My hope be fulfilled... I can no longer keep secret what I wish (Will continue to strive... and the only prayer of this helpless heart of mine -- accept my love... oh accept my love... ++
You are very dear to my heart.
There is no one else who can make me feel the way you do.
What can I do? What can you do when the love of your life (or afterlife) belongs with someone else?
You find away for the love of your life to be happy.
Even if it is with someone else.
This is the best that I can show you my love.
"Tsuzuki-san would you like some tea?"
It's your favorite brand so I know you won't refuse and I offer it with no strings attached.
"Tatsumi! Daisuke!"
You beam happily.
I smile.
No strings attached I tell myself.
I tell myself to be content, as you take your cup of tea.
"Sankyuu!"
OWARI
-----------
Author's post script:
There are other singers that I like but other writers have already used their songs.
Thank you for reading this and any of my other stories.
Thank you to everyone who has sent me a review.
I don't make promises about continuing stories lightly. It's Hisoka's influence after he scolded Tsuzuki about making promises so easily in "The Devil's Thrill".