Majora: How it Really Happened!
When we left our heroes, they had escaped the tunnel only to find themselves in a strange building. Just as they were about to leave, they heard a strange voice behind them. Who is it? Read on to find out!
CHAPTER THREE: THREE NIGHTS ON THE TOWN -Or- A LINK TO ESCAPE
(David's POV)
We quickly spun around to find the owner of the voice, and found ourselves face-to-face with the scariest man we had ever seen.
"ACK!" screamed Kelli.
He was what appeared to be a peddler, carrying a huge bag with a variety of strange masks on it.
"I see that the imp has gotten to you three, too..." said the mask man.
"Gee, ya think?" Erik said sarcastically.
The mask man studied us carefully and nodded. "I see..."
I tried to make the most out of meeting this strange man. "Have you seen a little scrub pass through here?"
"Oh yes," he said. "I sent him to recover the thing that the imp stole from me..."
"What did he do to you?" Erik asked.
I almost laughed. Anything that the Skullkid had done to him seemed relatively tame compared to his work on us.
"He stole a very valuable mask from me!" he said. "I sent that child to get it back for me, and I promised to return him to his normal form."
"You mean..." Kelli said excitedly, "You mean you know how to change us back?"
"I do," said the mask man.
"THEN DO IT!" we all shouted at once.
The mask man shook his head. "No. Until I get my mask back I will not do anything."
My jaw dropped. "Come on! We're not heroes! We can't get your mask back! We're just librarians from Hyrule, and we got cursed!"
"I'm sorry," he said coldly. "The return of my mask is more important than returning you to normal!"
We stared at him for a few seconds, and Erik grabbed the man by the collar with his huge Goron arms. "DO IT OR I'LL..."
"Erik!" I yelled.
He took a deep breath and let the mask man go.
The man straightened out his collar and looked at us sadly. "I do apologize. I didn't mean it to come out the way it did. But it is important that that imp should not keep my mask."
Kelli sighed. "Come on guys..."
The mask man waved goodbye as we headed for the door. "Come back in three days! I told the child to return with my mask before the Carnival of Time in three days! Then I'll help you!"
"Ya, whatever." I snapped.
DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY: 72 HOURS REMAINING
We opened the door and stepped into the light. We found ourselves in the center of a huge town. There were carpenters and villagers all over, apparently building something. I looked up and saw that we had come out of a large clock tower.
"Well goody. Now we have to wait three whole days until that stupid library terrorist gets back from wherever he is until we can turn back to normal!" Erik yelled.
"Maybe if we can find that kid in town we can help him out!" I suggested hopefully.
"Yeah, and maybe I'll get eaten by a dog," Kelli growled.
I guess that was a bad thing to say, because seconds later, a tiny dog ran over and snarled at Kelli.
"EEP! Um... nice doggy?" she squeaked.
"WOOOF!"
"AAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The dog took off after her, and Kelli screamed bloody murder as she took off towards the south end of town.
"Kelli, hold on!" Erik cried.
She apparently couldn't hear, or else she was ignoring him.
"Oh, come on!" I yelled.
We raced after the tiny dog, and followed the sound of Kelli screaming. Finally, she caught sight of a Deku flower growing inconspicuously near the Clock Tower.
"Going down!" she yelped as she dove headfirst into the flower.
The dog jumped on top of the flower and started growling.
"Down boy!" Erik said as he attempted to shove the dog off of the flower.
The dog woofed angrily and ran away in search of food, I presume.
A small head poked out of the flower.
"Kelli, why did you freak like that?" I asked impatiently.
"Who's Kelli?"
The head jumped out, and I saw that the scrub was indeed not Kelli. He had a small green hat, and a yellow fairy was next to him.
"SHEESH!" the fairy screamed. "If it's not dogs, it's bratty little kids or carpenters in Afros! I HATE THIS TOWN!"
The scrub walked away with the fairy close behind, and Kelli jumped out of the flower a minute later.
"What was up with that dog?" Erik mumbled.
"Well gee, Erik. I'm basically the equivalent of a giant stick!" Kelli snapped.
"Did you see that scrub?" I gasped. "He... he..."
"Good grief! How many scrubs are in this town, anyway?" Kelli whined.
"Kelli! That was Link!" Erik shouted.
"Really? Jeez, I can't tell in that tiny flower!"
"Come on!" I yelled. "Let's go talk to him."
We raced off after Link, who was running towards the North part of town.
We didn't stop for a minute until we reached the grassy meadow that was the north part of Clock Town. We arrived just in time to see the scrub race off into a small cavern on the North wall.
"Let's get moving!" Erik said.
We raced by a kid trying to shoot a balloon with a peashooter. As we passed, the kid stared at us.
"What's up with your clothes?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" Kelli replied.
"I mean, Zora's don't wear clothes! And neither do Gorons! And I've never seen a Deku Scrub with a green bandana in her hair!"
"Shows what you know!" I said angrily. "Come on, guys."
"I know a lot more than you do, you stupid fish!" the kid laughed. "For instance, I know that the moon is going to crash into Clock Town in three days!"
Erik stopped short. "Crash? What do you mean?"
The kid giggled stupidly. "You know. Crash. Fall from the sky and hit the town. A big Kablooie if you wanna call it that."
When we said nothing for a few minutes, the kid added, "My mom and dad are leaving town in a few days, so we can escape! But you have to stay here since you're just kids and you have no weapons! Unless your parents are here! Hee, Hee!"
"WE HAVE TO STAY?" Kelli yelled. "What kind of a dumb rule is that?"
"No kids can leave town without a grown-up. You have to stay and watch the Kablooie. HAHA!"
"We have got to hurry!" I shouted. "Let's go talk to that kid!"
We ran into the cavern, which turned out to be a huge fountain. Inside the fountain were at least 18 fairies.
"Oh, this is a lot of help!" Kelli groaned. "And where did that kid go?"
"Well, at least we know that that kid can't leave town. That should make our job easier!" I said.
We stepped back outside to see the kid chatting with a man in a green suit over at the far end of the area.
"Let's hurry!" Erik said.
We raced as fast as we could to the scrub, but he had already run off.
"Tingle, Tingle, Koo-loo Limpah!" yelled the man in green.
"Excuse me?" Erik asked.
"Hello Mr. Goron! I am... GASP!"
The man leaned down to Kelli and gave her a great big hug. Her eyes almost popped out of her tiny wooden head.
"I know you! You're a Forest Fairy!" the man yelled happily.
"Uh, no. I'm not." Kelli said.
"Yes you are! Those green clothes! And a big white fairy following you! Lucky, lucky!"
I realized that I was the fairy he was talking about. "Sir, I'm not a fairy. I'm..."
"I am Tingle! I am just like you, a Forest Fairy! But I have no fairy! But you... ah, you are lucky! You have the biggest fairy in the world!"
Erik burst out laughing. I shook my head sadly.
"I will sell you a map! For cheap! Only five Rupees!" Tingle cried.
"No thanks. We have a map," Erik said, still slightly giggling.
"Oh, OK. Ask me anything, anytime, you lucky, lucky little girl!"
Kelli sighed, and Tingle leaped up and down happily. "Tingle, Tingle, Koo-Loo Limpah!"
"What exactly are you doing?" I asked.
"Mr. Fairy, these are Tingle's magic words! He made them up himself!" Tingle giggled. "Don't try to steal them!"
"I won't... Don't worry, I won't." Kelli sighed.
We walked away as fast as we could.
"How does he figure that I'm a fairy?" I pondered out loud as we made our way back to the east part of town.
"People in this town are weird," Erik said.
"Well Erik, you have the map. Let's see it and find out exactly where in Termina we are." Kelli suggested.
"Clock Town," I said.
"Duh. I mean where in the actual world we are," Kelli explained.
Erik reached for the pocket of his clothes, and then gasped.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I... the map..."
"You do have the map, don't you?" Kelli said frantically.
"Gee, no. I must have left it on my other body."
"Great. We have no money, no map, and no idea where Link could have gone!" I whined.
"Well, it's just one town! How many places could he have gone?" Erik said.
NIGHT OF THE FIRST DAY: 60 HOURS REMAIN
"WE HAVE SEARCHED EVERY PLACE IN THIS FREAKING TOWN!" Erik yelled as we trudged through the west part of Clock Town for what must have been the 40th time.
"I'm too tired to walk anymore..." I whined.
"Do you want me to get off of your head? Would that help?" asked Kelli from above me.
"That would be nice," I replied.
Kelli hopped off of my scaly head and landed on the ground near us.
She noticed the look I was giving her and she shrugged. "You were the one whining about how slow I was going!"
"Fine, fine," I said. "Let's find somewhere to stay."
We kept going until we reached East Clock Town, and I spotted a large building with a sign on the side. "The Stock Pot Inn", it said.
"Let's go in there," Erik suggested. "Maybe we can get a room."
"With what money?" I asked.
"Let's just see," he replied.
We walked inside and saw a young woman with brilliant red hair standing at the counter. "Oh, hello!" she said. "Welcome to the Stock Pot Inn! I am Anju, how can I help you?"
"We need a room," Kelli said.
"I've never had a group of non-humans before..." she thought out loud. "Well, I think we may... no, I'm sorry. We're booked with reservations. Unless... you have a reservation?"
"Um, yes," I said.
"Under what name?" Anju asked.
We stared at her for a minute, and suddenly, she snapped her fingers.
"Of course!" she said. "A Goron. You must be Mr. Link!"
"Mr. LINK?" Erik asked.
"Yes, you were planning to stay here for three days?"
"Oh yeah. Yes, I'm Mr. Link!" Erik said.
"I didn't know you had others with you... Oh well. Here's your room key. You're in the knife chamber, upstairs. Thank you very much! Enjoy your stay, and please relax."
Erik took the room key and we turned to the right to go up the stairs.
"What luck!" Kelli grinned.
I was equally pleased. "Yeah, who could have thought we'd get a nice warm, clean, comfortable room to..."
Erik opened the door, and I stopped short.
The room was tiny, with dirty clothes lying everywhere and the wallpaper stained and bent.
"What a dump!" I yelled. "Look at this, the wallpaper is falling off!"
"There's only one bed!" Kelli said disappointedly.
"Oh well. It'll have to do," Erik said.
"Fine then, I get it," Kelli said quickly.
She leaped up onto the bed and screamed.
"What?" I asked.
"These blankets are filthy! No way am I sleeping here!" she whined.
"OK, if you don't want it I get it!" I said.
I sat one the bed and stretched out, only to find it way too small for my tall Zora stature.
"Um, I don't think so."
Erik grinned with delight. "Great! Then it's all mine!"
He carefully jumped onto the bed, and spread out on it. It was just his size.
"Ah! The mattress is a little hard, though."
Suddenly, we heard a loud creak.
"What was that?" Kelli asked. She had opened up a dresser drawer and was laid out in the soft clean clothes inside.
"Beats me. Probably the room next door," I said.
"I think it was coming from the bed..." Erik said.
The creak sounded again, and Erik looked at us all in fright.
The bed creaked one more time, and suddenly, the entire floor beneath the bed splintered under Erik's weight and crashed to the first floor.
"AAAIIIIEEEEEE!" he yelled.
CRASH!
"Oh, hello Tortus... would you like to hear a story?"
"Um... no thanks, lady..." Erik said sheepishly.
DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY: 48 HOURS REMAIN
"Now that we have NO more money for paying back the innkeeper, what else are we going to do?" Kelli cried desperately.
"I'm sorry, Little Deku Scrub. I have no money to spare. Not even five Rupees to buy you a map," said the man.
"PLEEEEEEASE? WE'RE BEGGING YOU!" we shouted.
"Sorry. I need to go back home now," he said, and he walked away.
"OH NO! WE ARE GOING TO STARVE!" Erik cried. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! AND I'M A GORON! I NEED TO DIE HUMAN!"
My stomach growled, and I sighed. "You think Anju could have let us at least eat breakfast before she kicked us out?"
"Well, considering that we totaled TWO of her rooms and didn't have the money to pay for the damage, I don't think so!" Kelli said.
"Maybe we could go ask that Tingle guy if we could stay at his house..." Erik said hopefully.
"NU-UH! NO WAY!" Kelli and I yelled.
Erik shrugged. "I just wanna know why that she was so mad at that other Goron when he came in right after us."
We were walking through south Clock Town around noon when I felt my stomach growl again.
I sighed and smiled dreamily. "You know what sounds good right now?"
"What?" Kelli asked.
"A nice, big juicy... worm..."
"A WORM?" Erik screamed.
"A worm? Did I say Worm?" I queried.
"Yeah. Gross! Why did you say worm?" Kelli commented.
"I don't know... I didn't mean to say worm... Ew."
"Hmm." Erik shrugged.
"So what are we going to do now?" I asked.
"We should try and find somewhere to stay," Kelli said.
We kept walking for almost three hours, when Erik noticed we had company.
"PSST! There are a bunch of kids following us!"
I recognized one of them as the annoying kid from the other day.
"Play along, guys," Erik said.
We stopped in the middle of the street and pretended to be looking around.
The kids walked up real close behind us and poked Erik in the back.
"Stop it!" he said.
We kept walking, and the kids kept poking Erik on the back. "Cut it out, you little brats!"
Finally, it was the last straw. "WILL YOU STOP IT?" Erik screamed.
The kids all laughed, and I sighed.
I turned around, bared my sharp Zora teeth, and made a fake growl.
"Grr."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
The kids ran for it, screaming all the way.
"I'm still telling you, guys. We should go ask Tingle if we can stay at his house!" Erik said.
Kelli disagreed. "Nu-uh! NOOOO WAY! We are NOT staying at that freak's house!"
NIGHT OF THE SECOND DAY: 36 HOURS REMAIN
"I can't believe we are staying at that freak's house!" Kelli moaned a few hours later.
"Thanks again for letting us stay with you, Tingle," Erik said, trying to keep from laughing.
"Yeah, yeah..." Kelli whined.
"FAIRY! LUCKY! FAIRY! LUCKY! WOOOOO!"
After much debate, we had finally decided to stay at Tingle's house, even if it meant being hassled for the rest of the time we were in these bodies.
Kelli was again forced to sleep in a dresser drawer, because Tingle had only one bed and she refused to share a bed with that "deranged imbecile", no matter how much Tingle begged her.
Erik had taken the curtains off of the windows and curled them up next to the dresser. He planned to curl up and fall asleep in the curtains.
And me? I was set up in a rudimentary hammock tied between two coat hangers.
"Hey Tingle, you got any rocks?" Erik asked, patting his stomach.
"No... rocks are for Gorons! We Forest Fairies eat leaves and nuts and berries!"
Kelli sighed. "Whatever. I'm going to sleep."
At about 12:00, Tingle began jumping around and singing some kind of demented chant. All three of us were still awake.
"Do you mind?" I snapped.
"Of course not!" Tingle cried happily. Then he began singing his "magic words" and spinning around.
"Why are you doing that?" Kelli growled. "It's 12:00 at night! Shouldn't you be trying to sleep?"
"Forest Fairies don't need to sleep!" Tingle sang.
"Well this one does!" Kelli groaned.
Tingle stopped singing and looked at Kelli confusedly. "Eh? Are you telling Tingle that you aren't a Forest Fairy?"
Kelli smiled and stood up. "YES! I AM! I am NOT a Forest Fairy! Thank you for finally realizing that!"
Tingle looked confused.
"Do I have to explain this AGAIN? I am not a Forest Fairy. He is not my fairy, he is a Zora. None of us are a Deku, a Goron, or a Zora! We are humans! A Skullkid who thinks he's really cool changed us! And for the last time... YOU ARE NOT A FAIRY!"
Tingle raised an eyebrow and burst out laughing. "O HOHO! YOU FOREST FAIRIES ARE SOOOOO FUNNY! GREAT JOKE, YOU FUNNY LITTLE FOREST FAIRY GIRL! O HOHOHOHOHO!"
Kelli sighed and fell back into the drawer. "Oh jeez, I give up!"
Tingle continued dancing around, and finally Kelli decided to lay off.
"It's about time!" Erik said.
"Yeah, I mean you could have been going at it for hours!" I told her.
"Excuse me for trying to help a poor confused little..."
Suddenly, Kelli made a noise like a hiccup, but much higher and louder.
"HEEEEEP!"
"What was that?" Erik cried.
"OH! It's a magic Forest Fairy chant! Maybe a fairy will come to me if I say it! HEEEEEP! HEEEEEP! HEEEEEP! HEEEEEP! HAHAHAHA!" Tingle shouted.
Kelli covered her "snout" with her hands and squeaked, "Did that come outta me?"
"What was that noise?" I asked.
"I... HEEEEEP! HEEEEEP!"
Erik jumped up as best he could for a Goron.
"That sounded like a Deku call!"
Kelli made a horrified face. "I... I didn't... What's going on with my... HEEEEEP!"
"I don't know..." I said quietly. As quietly as I could and still be heard with Tingle's screaming.
"This is not a good- HEEEEEP!" Kelli said.
"I'm not sure..." Erik said. "Maybe tomorrow we should..." His eyes went blank. "Duh... um... mask... uh,... dude... see... duh..."
"Definitely!" I cried. "This is NOT a good sign at all!"
"TINGLE WILL HELP HIS FRIENDS!" Tingle yelled. He waved his hands around the hiccuping Kelli and the blank-faced Erik.
"TINGLE, TINGLE, KOOLOO LIMPAH!"
I rolled my eyes.
"Let's just HEEEEEP try to go to HEEEEEP bed!" Kelli said as best she could. "We can HEEEEEP see the HEEEEEP mask dude to- HEEEEEEP morrow!"
DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY: 24 HOURS REMAIN
As soon as we woke up the next day, I could tell that something was amazingly wrong. I was wheezing for breath, and I found it tough to walk on land.
"Ohh... I feel sick!" I moaned.
Kelli was worse, too. "Let's HEEEEEP go HEEEEEEP see HEEEEEEEP the HEEEEEEEP mask HEEEEEEEP guy!"
Erik seemed to have his on and off moments. "Duh... mask... dude... let's... go see him now!"
Tingle seemed disappointed that we had to go. "Please come back and visit Tingle, Miss Fairy Lady."
"Sure HEEEEEEP Tingle, I'll HEEEEEEEEP be sure to come HEEEEEEEP by!"
We bid Tingle a very long goodbye and set off running for the Clock Tower.
We passed everyone in town on the way to South Clock Town, and when we finally reached the tower, Erik pushed the door open and we raced inside.
"Ah, my friends! You have returned! Did you find that poor cursed child?"
"The... only... cursed... child... we're... looking... for... is... Skullkid," I wheezed.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"This HEEEEEEEP is HEEEEEEP wrong!" Kelli yelped.
The mask man didn't understand.
Erik was having an on moment, so he quickly explained. "Kelli can't talk without saying HEEEEEP, David is having a problem breathing on land, and I am getting stupider by the minute! HELP!"
The mask man gasped and quickly ran over to me. He looked into my deep eyes. "Oh no! Just as I thought!"
"What?" I gasped.
"Your eyes... they are growing more fish-like... oh dear, oh dear... Take a deep breath, please."
I did so. He gasped again.
"Gills! You're using your gills! Oh dear... young Deku Scrub girl! Please, let me see you."
Kelli walked over to him, and he looked at her eyes. "Her too! Oh no... It's worse than I thought..."
"What's... duh... hap... duh... happ-en-ing?" Erik stuttered.
"It appears that Skullkid has found a new power to his mask... You are all three victims of the Spirit Consummation Curse..." the mask seller said sadly.
"What... HEEEEEEEP does that me-HEEEEEEEEP mean?" Kelli squeaked.
"When he turned you into the creatures you are... he apparently added a new part to the curse... The longer you stay in those bodies... the less human you become!"
"I... duh... don't like the way you said that!" Erik said slowly.
"You, Goron boy, are already losing brain power... soon you'll be eating rocks and walking slowly... and in a while, you'll forget that you ever were a human boy!"
Erik gasped. "But... I..."
"The same for all of you!" the mask man wailed. "The Zora will soon need to breathe the water every three days... the Deku shall soon lose her ability to speak... and assuming that you continue to deteriorate rapidly as you have in the last 12 hours... by midnight tonight, you shall lose your memories!"
"HEEEEP! HEEEEEEEP! HEEEEEEEP!" Kelli squeaked in terror.
"What can we do?" I coughed frantically.
"The only way is to teach you the song..."
"THEN DO IT!" we all screamed.
"HEEEEEP!" added Kelli.
"No, no! I told you, not until I get my mask back!"
We sat in silence, staring at the stubborn idiot in front of us.
Suddenly, Kelli leaped onto his neck and started slapping him. "TEACH US THAT FLIPPING SONG, YOU IDIOT, BEFORE I GNAW YOUR FACE OFF WITH MY NON-EXISTANT TEETH... HEEEEEEP!"
"I... cannot!" he wheezed.
I pulled Kelli off of him, and dropped to my knees. "Please! Please, we're begging you!"
"Please! Just wait three more hours!" the mask man said. "It will be dark, and the cursed child Link and the Skullkid shall meet again, I can see it! Then, I will un-curse you! Just try to hold on!"
"We can't!" Erik cried.
"You have no other choice," the mask man said gravely. "Wait three hours... or else you shall remain the way you are forever."
A startling revelation! Now, our favorite librarians have to find Link, before they lose their human memories and remain cursed for the rest of their lives! Will they succeed? Can they wait for three more hours? Only I could tell you, so stay tuned!
When we left our heroes, they had escaped the tunnel only to find themselves in a strange building. Just as they were about to leave, they heard a strange voice behind them. Who is it? Read on to find out!
CHAPTER THREE: THREE NIGHTS ON THE TOWN -Or- A LINK TO ESCAPE
(David's POV)
We quickly spun around to find the owner of the voice, and found ourselves face-to-face with the scariest man we had ever seen.
"ACK!" screamed Kelli.
He was what appeared to be a peddler, carrying a huge bag with a variety of strange masks on it.
"I see that the imp has gotten to you three, too..." said the mask man.
"Gee, ya think?" Erik said sarcastically.
The mask man studied us carefully and nodded. "I see..."
I tried to make the most out of meeting this strange man. "Have you seen a little scrub pass through here?"
"Oh yes," he said. "I sent him to recover the thing that the imp stole from me..."
"What did he do to you?" Erik asked.
I almost laughed. Anything that the Skullkid had done to him seemed relatively tame compared to his work on us.
"He stole a very valuable mask from me!" he said. "I sent that child to get it back for me, and I promised to return him to his normal form."
"You mean..." Kelli said excitedly, "You mean you know how to change us back?"
"I do," said the mask man.
"THEN DO IT!" we all shouted at once.
The mask man shook his head. "No. Until I get my mask back I will not do anything."
My jaw dropped. "Come on! We're not heroes! We can't get your mask back! We're just librarians from Hyrule, and we got cursed!"
"I'm sorry," he said coldly. "The return of my mask is more important than returning you to normal!"
We stared at him for a few seconds, and Erik grabbed the man by the collar with his huge Goron arms. "DO IT OR I'LL..."
"Erik!" I yelled.
He took a deep breath and let the mask man go.
The man straightened out his collar and looked at us sadly. "I do apologize. I didn't mean it to come out the way it did. But it is important that that imp should not keep my mask."
Kelli sighed. "Come on guys..."
The mask man waved goodbye as we headed for the door. "Come back in three days! I told the child to return with my mask before the Carnival of Time in three days! Then I'll help you!"
"Ya, whatever." I snapped.
DAWN OF THE FIRST DAY: 72 HOURS REMAINING
We opened the door and stepped into the light. We found ourselves in the center of a huge town. There were carpenters and villagers all over, apparently building something. I looked up and saw that we had come out of a large clock tower.
"Well goody. Now we have to wait three whole days until that stupid library terrorist gets back from wherever he is until we can turn back to normal!" Erik yelled.
"Maybe if we can find that kid in town we can help him out!" I suggested hopefully.
"Yeah, and maybe I'll get eaten by a dog," Kelli growled.
I guess that was a bad thing to say, because seconds later, a tiny dog ran over and snarled at Kelli.
"EEP! Um... nice doggy?" she squeaked.
"WOOOF!"
"AAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The dog took off after her, and Kelli screamed bloody murder as she took off towards the south end of town.
"Kelli, hold on!" Erik cried.
She apparently couldn't hear, or else she was ignoring him.
"Oh, come on!" I yelled.
We raced after the tiny dog, and followed the sound of Kelli screaming. Finally, she caught sight of a Deku flower growing inconspicuously near the Clock Tower.
"Going down!" she yelped as she dove headfirst into the flower.
The dog jumped on top of the flower and started growling.
"Down boy!" Erik said as he attempted to shove the dog off of the flower.
The dog woofed angrily and ran away in search of food, I presume.
A small head poked out of the flower.
"Kelli, why did you freak like that?" I asked impatiently.
"Who's Kelli?"
The head jumped out, and I saw that the scrub was indeed not Kelli. He had a small green hat, and a yellow fairy was next to him.
"SHEESH!" the fairy screamed. "If it's not dogs, it's bratty little kids or carpenters in Afros! I HATE THIS TOWN!"
The scrub walked away with the fairy close behind, and Kelli jumped out of the flower a minute later.
"What was up with that dog?" Erik mumbled.
"Well gee, Erik. I'm basically the equivalent of a giant stick!" Kelli snapped.
"Did you see that scrub?" I gasped. "He... he..."
"Good grief! How many scrubs are in this town, anyway?" Kelli whined.
"Kelli! That was Link!" Erik shouted.
"Really? Jeez, I can't tell in that tiny flower!"
"Come on!" I yelled. "Let's go talk to him."
We raced off after Link, who was running towards the North part of town.
We didn't stop for a minute until we reached the grassy meadow that was the north part of Clock Town. We arrived just in time to see the scrub race off into a small cavern on the North wall.
"Let's get moving!" Erik said.
We raced by a kid trying to shoot a balloon with a peashooter. As we passed, the kid stared at us.
"What's up with your clothes?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" Kelli replied.
"I mean, Zora's don't wear clothes! And neither do Gorons! And I've never seen a Deku Scrub with a green bandana in her hair!"
"Shows what you know!" I said angrily. "Come on, guys."
"I know a lot more than you do, you stupid fish!" the kid laughed. "For instance, I know that the moon is going to crash into Clock Town in three days!"
Erik stopped short. "Crash? What do you mean?"
The kid giggled stupidly. "You know. Crash. Fall from the sky and hit the town. A big Kablooie if you wanna call it that."
When we said nothing for a few minutes, the kid added, "My mom and dad are leaving town in a few days, so we can escape! But you have to stay here since you're just kids and you have no weapons! Unless your parents are here! Hee, Hee!"
"WE HAVE TO STAY?" Kelli yelled. "What kind of a dumb rule is that?"
"No kids can leave town without a grown-up. You have to stay and watch the Kablooie. HAHA!"
"We have got to hurry!" I shouted. "Let's go talk to that kid!"
We ran into the cavern, which turned out to be a huge fountain. Inside the fountain were at least 18 fairies.
"Oh, this is a lot of help!" Kelli groaned. "And where did that kid go?"
"Well, at least we know that that kid can't leave town. That should make our job easier!" I said.
We stepped back outside to see the kid chatting with a man in a green suit over at the far end of the area.
"Let's hurry!" Erik said.
We raced as fast as we could to the scrub, but he had already run off.
"Tingle, Tingle, Koo-loo Limpah!" yelled the man in green.
"Excuse me?" Erik asked.
"Hello Mr. Goron! I am... GASP!"
The man leaned down to Kelli and gave her a great big hug. Her eyes almost popped out of her tiny wooden head.
"I know you! You're a Forest Fairy!" the man yelled happily.
"Uh, no. I'm not." Kelli said.
"Yes you are! Those green clothes! And a big white fairy following you! Lucky, lucky!"
I realized that I was the fairy he was talking about. "Sir, I'm not a fairy. I'm..."
"I am Tingle! I am just like you, a Forest Fairy! But I have no fairy! But you... ah, you are lucky! You have the biggest fairy in the world!"
Erik burst out laughing. I shook my head sadly.
"I will sell you a map! For cheap! Only five Rupees!" Tingle cried.
"No thanks. We have a map," Erik said, still slightly giggling.
"Oh, OK. Ask me anything, anytime, you lucky, lucky little girl!"
Kelli sighed, and Tingle leaped up and down happily. "Tingle, Tingle, Koo-Loo Limpah!"
"What exactly are you doing?" I asked.
"Mr. Fairy, these are Tingle's magic words! He made them up himself!" Tingle giggled. "Don't try to steal them!"
"I won't... Don't worry, I won't." Kelli sighed.
We walked away as fast as we could.
"How does he figure that I'm a fairy?" I pondered out loud as we made our way back to the east part of town.
"People in this town are weird," Erik said.
"Well Erik, you have the map. Let's see it and find out exactly where in Termina we are." Kelli suggested.
"Clock Town," I said.
"Duh. I mean where in the actual world we are," Kelli explained.
Erik reached for the pocket of his clothes, and then gasped.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I... the map..."
"You do have the map, don't you?" Kelli said frantically.
"Gee, no. I must have left it on my other body."
"Great. We have no money, no map, and no idea where Link could have gone!" I whined.
"Well, it's just one town! How many places could he have gone?" Erik said.
NIGHT OF THE FIRST DAY: 60 HOURS REMAIN
"WE HAVE SEARCHED EVERY PLACE IN THIS FREAKING TOWN!" Erik yelled as we trudged through the west part of Clock Town for what must have been the 40th time.
"I'm too tired to walk anymore..." I whined.
"Do you want me to get off of your head? Would that help?" asked Kelli from above me.
"That would be nice," I replied.
Kelli hopped off of my scaly head and landed on the ground near us.
She noticed the look I was giving her and she shrugged. "You were the one whining about how slow I was going!"
"Fine, fine," I said. "Let's find somewhere to stay."
We kept going until we reached East Clock Town, and I spotted a large building with a sign on the side. "The Stock Pot Inn", it said.
"Let's go in there," Erik suggested. "Maybe we can get a room."
"With what money?" I asked.
"Let's just see," he replied.
We walked inside and saw a young woman with brilliant red hair standing at the counter. "Oh, hello!" she said. "Welcome to the Stock Pot Inn! I am Anju, how can I help you?"
"We need a room," Kelli said.
"I've never had a group of non-humans before..." she thought out loud. "Well, I think we may... no, I'm sorry. We're booked with reservations. Unless... you have a reservation?"
"Um, yes," I said.
"Under what name?" Anju asked.
We stared at her for a minute, and suddenly, she snapped her fingers.
"Of course!" she said. "A Goron. You must be Mr. Link!"
"Mr. LINK?" Erik asked.
"Yes, you were planning to stay here for three days?"
"Oh yeah. Yes, I'm Mr. Link!" Erik said.
"I didn't know you had others with you... Oh well. Here's your room key. You're in the knife chamber, upstairs. Thank you very much! Enjoy your stay, and please relax."
Erik took the room key and we turned to the right to go up the stairs.
"What luck!" Kelli grinned.
I was equally pleased. "Yeah, who could have thought we'd get a nice warm, clean, comfortable room to..."
Erik opened the door, and I stopped short.
The room was tiny, with dirty clothes lying everywhere and the wallpaper stained and bent.
"What a dump!" I yelled. "Look at this, the wallpaper is falling off!"
"There's only one bed!" Kelli said disappointedly.
"Oh well. It'll have to do," Erik said.
"Fine then, I get it," Kelli said quickly.
She leaped up onto the bed and screamed.
"What?" I asked.
"These blankets are filthy! No way am I sleeping here!" she whined.
"OK, if you don't want it I get it!" I said.
I sat one the bed and stretched out, only to find it way too small for my tall Zora stature.
"Um, I don't think so."
Erik grinned with delight. "Great! Then it's all mine!"
He carefully jumped onto the bed, and spread out on it. It was just his size.
"Ah! The mattress is a little hard, though."
Suddenly, we heard a loud creak.
"What was that?" Kelli asked. She had opened up a dresser drawer and was laid out in the soft clean clothes inside.
"Beats me. Probably the room next door," I said.
"I think it was coming from the bed..." Erik said.
The creak sounded again, and Erik looked at us all in fright.
The bed creaked one more time, and suddenly, the entire floor beneath the bed splintered under Erik's weight and crashed to the first floor.
"AAAIIIIEEEEEE!" he yelled.
CRASH!
"Oh, hello Tortus... would you like to hear a story?"
"Um... no thanks, lady..." Erik said sheepishly.
DAWN OF THE SECOND DAY: 48 HOURS REMAIN
"Now that we have NO more money for paying back the innkeeper, what else are we going to do?" Kelli cried desperately.
"I'm sorry, Little Deku Scrub. I have no money to spare. Not even five Rupees to buy you a map," said the man.
"PLEEEEEEASE? WE'RE BEGGING YOU!" we shouted.
"Sorry. I need to go back home now," he said, and he walked away.
"OH NO! WE ARE GOING TO STARVE!" Erik cried. "I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! AND I'M A GORON! I NEED TO DIE HUMAN!"
My stomach growled, and I sighed. "You think Anju could have let us at least eat breakfast before she kicked us out?"
"Well, considering that we totaled TWO of her rooms and didn't have the money to pay for the damage, I don't think so!" Kelli said.
"Maybe we could go ask that Tingle guy if we could stay at his house..." Erik said hopefully.
"NU-UH! NO WAY!" Kelli and I yelled.
Erik shrugged. "I just wanna know why that she was so mad at that other Goron when he came in right after us."
We were walking through south Clock Town around noon when I felt my stomach growl again.
I sighed and smiled dreamily. "You know what sounds good right now?"
"What?" Kelli asked.
"A nice, big juicy... worm..."
"A WORM?" Erik screamed.
"A worm? Did I say Worm?" I queried.
"Yeah. Gross! Why did you say worm?" Kelli commented.
"I don't know... I didn't mean to say worm... Ew."
"Hmm." Erik shrugged.
"So what are we going to do now?" I asked.
"We should try and find somewhere to stay," Kelli said.
We kept walking for almost three hours, when Erik noticed we had company.
"PSST! There are a bunch of kids following us!"
I recognized one of them as the annoying kid from the other day.
"Play along, guys," Erik said.
We stopped in the middle of the street and pretended to be looking around.
The kids walked up real close behind us and poked Erik in the back.
"Stop it!" he said.
We kept walking, and the kids kept poking Erik on the back. "Cut it out, you little brats!"
Finally, it was the last straw. "WILL YOU STOP IT?" Erik screamed.
The kids all laughed, and I sighed.
I turned around, bared my sharp Zora teeth, and made a fake growl.
"Grr."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
The kids ran for it, screaming all the way.
"I'm still telling you, guys. We should go ask Tingle if we can stay at his house!" Erik said.
Kelli disagreed. "Nu-uh! NOOOO WAY! We are NOT staying at that freak's house!"
NIGHT OF THE SECOND DAY: 36 HOURS REMAIN
"I can't believe we are staying at that freak's house!" Kelli moaned a few hours later.
"Thanks again for letting us stay with you, Tingle," Erik said, trying to keep from laughing.
"Yeah, yeah..." Kelli whined.
"FAIRY! LUCKY! FAIRY! LUCKY! WOOOOO!"
After much debate, we had finally decided to stay at Tingle's house, even if it meant being hassled for the rest of the time we were in these bodies.
Kelli was again forced to sleep in a dresser drawer, because Tingle had only one bed and she refused to share a bed with that "deranged imbecile", no matter how much Tingle begged her.
Erik had taken the curtains off of the windows and curled them up next to the dresser. He planned to curl up and fall asleep in the curtains.
And me? I was set up in a rudimentary hammock tied between two coat hangers.
"Hey Tingle, you got any rocks?" Erik asked, patting his stomach.
"No... rocks are for Gorons! We Forest Fairies eat leaves and nuts and berries!"
Kelli sighed. "Whatever. I'm going to sleep."
At about 12:00, Tingle began jumping around and singing some kind of demented chant. All three of us were still awake.
"Do you mind?" I snapped.
"Of course not!" Tingle cried happily. Then he began singing his "magic words" and spinning around.
"Why are you doing that?" Kelli growled. "It's 12:00 at night! Shouldn't you be trying to sleep?"
"Forest Fairies don't need to sleep!" Tingle sang.
"Well this one does!" Kelli groaned.
Tingle stopped singing and looked at Kelli confusedly. "Eh? Are you telling Tingle that you aren't a Forest Fairy?"
Kelli smiled and stood up. "YES! I AM! I am NOT a Forest Fairy! Thank you for finally realizing that!"
Tingle looked confused.
"Do I have to explain this AGAIN? I am not a Forest Fairy. He is not my fairy, he is a Zora. None of us are a Deku, a Goron, or a Zora! We are humans! A Skullkid who thinks he's really cool changed us! And for the last time... YOU ARE NOT A FAIRY!"
Tingle raised an eyebrow and burst out laughing. "O HOHO! YOU FOREST FAIRIES ARE SOOOOO FUNNY! GREAT JOKE, YOU FUNNY LITTLE FOREST FAIRY GIRL! O HOHOHOHOHO!"
Kelli sighed and fell back into the drawer. "Oh jeez, I give up!"
Tingle continued dancing around, and finally Kelli decided to lay off.
"It's about time!" Erik said.
"Yeah, I mean you could have been going at it for hours!" I told her.
"Excuse me for trying to help a poor confused little..."
Suddenly, Kelli made a noise like a hiccup, but much higher and louder.
"HEEEEEP!"
"What was that?" Erik cried.
"OH! It's a magic Forest Fairy chant! Maybe a fairy will come to me if I say it! HEEEEEP! HEEEEEP! HEEEEEP! HEEEEEP! HAHAHAHA!" Tingle shouted.
Kelli covered her "snout" with her hands and squeaked, "Did that come outta me?"
"What was that noise?" I asked.
"I... HEEEEEP! HEEEEEP!"
Erik jumped up as best he could for a Goron.
"That sounded like a Deku call!"
Kelli made a horrified face. "I... I didn't... What's going on with my... HEEEEEP!"
"I don't know..." I said quietly. As quietly as I could and still be heard with Tingle's screaming.
"This is not a good- HEEEEEP!" Kelli said.
"I'm not sure..." Erik said. "Maybe tomorrow we should..." His eyes went blank. "Duh... um... mask... uh,... dude... see... duh..."
"Definitely!" I cried. "This is NOT a good sign at all!"
"TINGLE WILL HELP HIS FRIENDS!" Tingle yelled. He waved his hands around the hiccuping Kelli and the blank-faced Erik.
"TINGLE, TINGLE, KOOLOO LIMPAH!"
I rolled my eyes.
"Let's just HEEEEEP try to go to HEEEEEP bed!" Kelli said as best she could. "We can HEEEEEP see the HEEEEEP mask dude to- HEEEEEEP morrow!"
DAWN OF THE FINAL DAY: 24 HOURS REMAIN
As soon as we woke up the next day, I could tell that something was amazingly wrong. I was wheezing for breath, and I found it tough to walk on land.
"Ohh... I feel sick!" I moaned.
Kelli was worse, too. "Let's HEEEEEP go HEEEEEEP see HEEEEEEEP the HEEEEEEEP mask HEEEEEEEP guy!"
Erik seemed to have his on and off moments. "Duh... mask... dude... let's... go see him now!"
Tingle seemed disappointed that we had to go. "Please come back and visit Tingle, Miss Fairy Lady."
"Sure HEEEEEEP Tingle, I'll HEEEEEEEEP be sure to come HEEEEEEEP by!"
We bid Tingle a very long goodbye and set off running for the Clock Tower.
We passed everyone in town on the way to South Clock Town, and when we finally reached the tower, Erik pushed the door open and we raced inside.
"Ah, my friends! You have returned! Did you find that poor cursed child?"
"The... only... cursed... child... we're... looking... for... is... Skullkid," I wheezed.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"This HEEEEEEEP is HEEEEEEP wrong!" Kelli yelped.
The mask man didn't understand.
Erik was having an on moment, so he quickly explained. "Kelli can't talk without saying HEEEEEP, David is having a problem breathing on land, and I am getting stupider by the minute! HELP!"
The mask man gasped and quickly ran over to me. He looked into my deep eyes. "Oh no! Just as I thought!"
"What?" I gasped.
"Your eyes... they are growing more fish-like... oh dear, oh dear... Take a deep breath, please."
I did so. He gasped again.
"Gills! You're using your gills! Oh dear... young Deku Scrub girl! Please, let me see you."
Kelli walked over to him, and he looked at her eyes. "Her too! Oh no... It's worse than I thought..."
"What's... duh... hap... duh... happ-en-ing?" Erik stuttered.
"It appears that Skullkid has found a new power to his mask... You are all three victims of the Spirit Consummation Curse..." the mask seller said sadly.
"What... HEEEEEEEP does that me-HEEEEEEEEP mean?" Kelli squeaked.
"When he turned you into the creatures you are... he apparently added a new part to the curse... The longer you stay in those bodies... the less human you become!"
"I... duh... don't like the way you said that!" Erik said slowly.
"You, Goron boy, are already losing brain power... soon you'll be eating rocks and walking slowly... and in a while, you'll forget that you ever were a human boy!"
Erik gasped. "But... I..."
"The same for all of you!" the mask man wailed. "The Zora will soon need to breathe the water every three days... the Deku shall soon lose her ability to speak... and assuming that you continue to deteriorate rapidly as you have in the last 12 hours... by midnight tonight, you shall lose your memories!"
"HEEEEP! HEEEEEEEP! HEEEEEEEP!" Kelli squeaked in terror.
"What can we do?" I coughed frantically.
"The only way is to teach you the song..."
"THEN DO IT!" we all screamed.
"HEEEEEP!" added Kelli.
"No, no! I told you, not until I get my mask back!"
We sat in silence, staring at the stubborn idiot in front of us.
Suddenly, Kelli leaped onto his neck and started slapping him. "TEACH US THAT FLIPPING SONG, YOU IDIOT, BEFORE I GNAW YOUR FACE OFF WITH MY NON-EXISTANT TEETH... HEEEEEEP!"
"I... cannot!" he wheezed.
I pulled Kelli off of him, and dropped to my knees. "Please! Please, we're begging you!"
"Please! Just wait three more hours!" the mask man said. "It will be dark, and the cursed child Link and the Skullkid shall meet again, I can see it! Then, I will un-curse you! Just try to hold on!"
"We can't!" Erik cried.
"You have no other choice," the mask man said gravely. "Wait three hours... or else you shall remain the way you are forever."
A startling revelation! Now, our favorite librarians have to find Link, before they lose their human memories and remain cursed for the rest of their lives! Will they succeed? Can they wait for three more hours? Only I could tell you, so stay tuned!