Chapter 2: Escaping the mines
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
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*????? Gets out of bed*
?????: Where am I? *Looks at old man* HELP! PAEDOPHILE!!!
Old Man: Woah! And I only just removed the di....crown!
?????: ...anal...hurts
Old Man: *Blushes* Uh, I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything!
Voice: A mysterious young hooker, controlled by the Empire, and born with the gift of SOME FUCKIN' BIG TITS!
?????: *Names* My name......is...Terra...
Old Man: Impressive! I've never heard of anyone recovering this fast! *under his breath* from me...
*Some dogs start sniffing the trail up to the house Terra's in*
Soldier: Open up! Give us back the hooker! WE HAVEN'T FUCKED IN 2 HOURS! Oh yeah and the Empire's Magitek Armour...
*Inside*
Terra: Empire...? Hooker...?
Old Man: Look, I have to get you out of here! I don't have time to explain!
Terra: SILENCE PAEDOPHILE *Fire - Old Man*
Old Man: *KO'd*
*Terra takes the back door out*
Soldier: She's up there!
Terra: *Fire - All*
*Wastes soldiers*
*She enters the mines*
Terra: Better save the game! *Saves*
Terra: *Opens all the chests and takes the Phoenix Down and the sleeping bag*
Solder: Got her!
*Terra backs up and the floor crumbles before her -she faints on the lower level*
*Flashback*
Kefka: My sweet big titty bitch! Uweee he, he! With this Slave Crown I'll practically own those!
Kefka: *Puts the crown on her head* Uwee he he!
*The scene changes to Terra in bed with Kefka*
Kefka: OH YEAH, THAT'S IT FUCK ME BITCH!!! FUCK ME!!!!!!!
*Scene changes to outside the factory*
Gestahl: We stand on the brink of a major breakthrough! WITH ALL THESE SLAVE CROWNS WE CAN FUCK ANYONE WE WANT!!!! WE HAVE FUN TONIGHT BOYS!!!!
Soldiers: WHEY!!! LONG LIVE EMPEROR GESTHAL!!!
*End Flashback*
*Back at the house someone breaks in through the back entrance*
Man: Oh shit this is the old man's house. Well I'll just heal him and pretend that's why I came!
Man: I'll be damned if I know where this Phoenix Down came from, maybe another main character found it *Uses it on the old man*
Old Man: Took you long enough! How goes the robbing and plundering trade?
Voice: Treasure hunter and trail-worm traveller, searching the world over for relics of the past. HE ALSO HAS A KICK-ASS THEME TUNE!
Man: *Names himself Locke* I PREFER the term treasure hunting!
Old Man: Ha! Bullshit!
Locke: There's a HUGE difference *Waves his finger at no one*
Locke; Anyway, were you the one who sent for me?
Old Man: Umm...how could I, I was KO'd! Anyway, there's a girl I'd like you to meet.
Locke: For the last time I don't want hookers, SQUARE didn't put it in my character...
Old Man: No...
Locke: ......!? This had better not have anything to do with that Magitek-riding imperial...bitch!!!
Old Man: *Nods* Imperial troops are pursuing her even as we speak. This town is not mach for the Empire. Our independence can only be assured if we join forces with the Returners, an underground resistance movement.
Locke: Why are you telling me this, I AM a returner!
Old Man: *Ignoring Locke* That girl wasn't responsible for her actions. We must get her to understand our dilemma!
Locke: All right...I think we'd better help her...
Old Man: By "we" you mean "you" right?
Locke: *Sigh* Yes...
Old Man: Go to Figaro and talk to the king.
*Locke jumps down to the mines*
Locke: IS THAT A DILDO??? THAT PAEDOPHILIAC BASTARD!!!
Guard: Now we gotcha!
*Lots of Vomammoths back him up*
Locke: Wonderful...There's a whole bunch of 'em
?????: Kupo...
*A couple of moogles walk to Terra*
Locke: Moogles...! Are you saying you want to help me?
Moogle: KUPOPO!!!!
Locke: Oh, you want to help HER!
Moogle: *Nods* Kupo!!!
Moogle: Use us to save Terra from the guards! Need more information?
Locke: *Chooses yes*
Moogle: You'll fight using 3 different groups. Press the Y Button to switch between them.
Locke: It would be better if all 12 of us fought at full force, but the 3 party system kicks ass!
Moogle: Your job is to defeat the commander of the guards before his men reach Terra. Save her or else...
Locke: Or else what?
*Kushu and Mog's groups guard Terra while Locke's group evades most of the guards*
*Enter Battle - Pre-emptive attack*
Kumama: *Attack - Vomammoth*
Vomammoth: *55 damage - 60 remaining*
Kupop: *Attack - Vomammoth*
Vomammoth: *88 damage - dies*
Kupek: *Attack - Lobo*
Lobo: *97 damage - dies*
*End battle*
*Enter battle*
Locke: *Steel - Vomammoth - Stole Tonic*
Lobo: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *9 damage - 113 remaining*
Vomammoth: *Blizzard*
Locke: *38 damage - 75 remaining*
Kupek: *43 damage - 93 remaining*
Kupop: *39 damage - 69 remaining*
Kumama: *39 damage - 63 remaining*
Kupop: Bastard *Attack - Vomammoth*
Vomammoth: *82 damage - 33 remaining*
Kumama: *Attack - Vomammoth*
Vomammoth: *55 damage - dies*
Kupek: *Attack - Lobo*
Lobo: *94 damage - dies*
*End battle*
Locke: Look at these retards!
*He uses some piss easy evasion tactics to get to the guard*
*Enter battle*
Marshal: *Net - Kupop*
Kupop: *Stopped*
Lobo2: *Tusk - Kupek*
Kupek: *15 damage - 78 remaining*
Lobo1 *Tusk - Kupek*
Kupek: *15 damage - 63 remaining*
Lobo1 *Tusk - Kupek*
Kupek: *14 damage - 49 remaining*
Kupek: BASTARDS!!!
Marshal: *Attack - Kumama*
Kumama: *55 damage - 8 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Lobo1*
Lobo1: *44 damage - dies*
Kupek: *Attack - Lobo2*
Lobo2: *91 damage - dies*
Kumama: *Tonic - 50 HP recovered - 58 remaining*
Marshal: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *50 damage - 25 remaining*
Locke: It's time to kick ass and chew gum! *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *36 damage - 384 remaining*
Kupek: *Attack: Marshal*
Marshal: *76 damage - 308 remaining*
Marshal: * Attack - Locke - Misses*
Locke: *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *36 damage - 272 remaining*
Kumama: *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *44 damage - 228 remaining*
Kupop: *(Recovered from Stop) Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *67 damage - 161 remaining*
Marshal: *Charge - Kupek*
Kupek: *112 damage - KOd*
Locke: Bastard *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *36 damage - 125 remaining*
Kumama: *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *45 damage - 80 remaining*
Marshal: *Charge - Kupop*
Kupop: *111 damage - KO'd*
Locke: Fuck! *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *36 damage - 44 remaining*
Marshal: *Charge - Kumama*
Kumama: *112 damage -KOd*
Locke: Last chance! *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *47 damage - dies*
*End battle*
Locke: Sorry Moogles, looks like you'll get your prize another time! *Runs off with Terra*
Locke: I think this switch'll... *Presses switch*
*A passage opens up*
Shadow: I must fulfil my promise to Maria
*Flashback*
Voice: Find them before they escape!
Maria: *puff, pant*
*Gunshot is heard*
Shadow: Maria!!!
Maria: Shadow I beg of you... please do it for me.
Shadow: Maria!
Maria: For all the people... on that planet...
Maria: Sayonara...Shadow the Hedgehog.
*End flashback*
Shadow: Maria! I still remember what I promised you. For the people of this planet...I promise you...REVENGE!
*Enter battle*
Shadow: *Fire summersault - Locke*
Locke: *9278 damage - KOd*
Terra: No...
?????: CHAOS CONTROL!!!
Shadow: Of all the places for that blue hedgehog to be...
Sonic: *Phoenix Down - Locke*
Shadow: Face me fake hedgehog!
Sonic: *Sonic Wind - Shadow*
Shadow: *8592 damage - 83844*
Shadow: *Chaos Spear - Sonic*
Sonic: *9612 damage - 83602 remaining*
Sonic: *Timestop - Shadow*
Shadow: *Stopped*
Sonic: Run Locke! ESCAPE!!
*Locke and Terra run away*
Terra: That was weird...
Locke: Look who's talking. Hey! We're near Figaro!
--------------------------------------------------
And that's chapter 2. Sorry if the battles were too long please review this.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
--------------------------------------------------
*????? Gets out of bed*
?????: Where am I? *Looks at old man* HELP! PAEDOPHILE!!!
Old Man: Woah! And I only just removed the di....crown!
?????: ...anal...hurts
Old Man: *Blushes* Uh, I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, you can't prove anything!
Voice: A mysterious young hooker, controlled by the Empire, and born with the gift of SOME FUCKIN' BIG TITS!
?????: *Names* My name......is...Terra...
Old Man: Impressive! I've never heard of anyone recovering this fast! *under his breath* from me...
*Some dogs start sniffing the trail up to the house Terra's in*
Soldier: Open up! Give us back the hooker! WE HAVEN'T FUCKED IN 2 HOURS! Oh yeah and the Empire's Magitek Armour...
*Inside*
Terra: Empire...? Hooker...?
Old Man: Look, I have to get you out of here! I don't have time to explain!
Terra: SILENCE PAEDOPHILE *Fire - Old Man*
Old Man: *KO'd*
*Terra takes the back door out*
Soldier: She's up there!
Terra: *Fire - All*
*Wastes soldiers*
*She enters the mines*
Terra: Better save the game! *Saves*
Terra: *Opens all the chests and takes the Phoenix Down and the sleeping bag*
Solder: Got her!
*Terra backs up and the floor crumbles before her -she faints on the lower level*
*Flashback*
Kefka: My sweet big titty bitch! Uweee he, he! With this Slave Crown I'll practically own those!
Kefka: *Puts the crown on her head* Uwee he he!
*The scene changes to Terra in bed with Kefka*
Kefka: OH YEAH, THAT'S IT FUCK ME BITCH!!! FUCK ME!!!!!!!
*Scene changes to outside the factory*
Gestahl: We stand on the brink of a major breakthrough! WITH ALL THESE SLAVE CROWNS WE CAN FUCK ANYONE WE WANT!!!! WE HAVE FUN TONIGHT BOYS!!!!
Soldiers: WHEY!!! LONG LIVE EMPEROR GESTHAL!!!
*End Flashback*
*Back at the house someone breaks in through the back entrance*
Man: Oh shit this is the old man's house. Well I'll just heal him and pretend that's why I came!
Man: I'll be damned if I know where this Phoenix Down came from, maybe another main character found it *Uses it on the old man*
Old Man: Took you long enough! How goes the robbing and plundering trade?
Voice: Treasure hunter and trail-worm traveller, searching the world over for relics of the past. HE ALSO HAS A KICK-ASS THEME TUNE!
Man: *Names himself Locke* I PREFER the term treasure hunting!
Old Man: Ha! Bullshit!
Locke: There's a HUGE difference *Waves his finger at no one*
Locke; Anyway, were you the one who sent for me?
Old Man: Umm...how could I, I was KO'd! Anyway, there's a girl I'd like you to meet.
Locke: For the last time I don't want hookers, SQUARE didn't put it in my character...
Old Man: No...
Locke: ......!? This had better not have anything to do with that Magitek-riding imperial...bitch!!!
Old Man: *Nods* Imperial troops are pursuing her even as we speak. This town is not mach for the Empire. Our independence can only be assured if we join forces with the Returners, an underground resistance movement.
Locke: Why are you telling me this, I AM a returner!
Old Man: *Ignoring Locke* That girl wasn't responsible for her actions. We must get her to understand our dilemma!
Locke: All right...I think we'd better help her...
Old Man: By "we" you mean "you" right?
Locke: *Sigh* Yes...
Old Man: Go to Figaro and talk to the king.
*Locke jumps down to the mines*
Locke: IS THAT A DILDO??? THAT PAEDOPHILIAC BASTARD!!!
Guard: Now we gotcha!
*Lots of Vomammoths back him up*
Locke: Wonderful...There's a whole bunch of 'em
?????: Kupo...
*A couple of moogles walk to Terra*
Locke: Moogles...! Are you saying you want to help me?
Moogle: KUPOPO!!!!
Locke: Oh, you want to help HER!
Moogle: *Nods* Kupo!!!
Moogle: Use us to save Terra from the guards! Need more information?
Locke: *Chooses yes*
Moogle: You'll fight using 3 different groups. Press the Y Button to switch between them.
Locke: It would be better if all 12 of us fought at full force, but the 3 party system kicks ass!
Moogle: Your job is to defeat the commander of the guards before his men reach Terra. Save her or else...
Locke: Or else what?
*Kushu and Mog's groups guard Terra while Locke's group evades most of the guards*
*Enter Battle - Pre-emptive attack*
Kumama: *Attack - Vomammoth*
Vomammoth: *55 damage - 60 remaining*
Kupop: *Attack - Vomammoth*
Vomammoth: *88 damage - dies*
Kupek: *Attack - Lobo*
Lobo: *97 damage - dies*
*End battle*
*Enter battle*
Locke: *Steel - Vomammoth - Stole Tonic*
Lobo: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *9 damage - 113 remaining*
Vomammoth: *Blizzard*
Locke: *38 damage - 75 remaining*
Kupek: *43 damage - 93 remaining*
Kupop: *39 damage - 69 remaining*
Kumama: *39 damage - 63 remaining*
Kupop: Bastard *Attack - Vomammoth*
Vomammoth: *82 damage - 33 remaining*
Kumama: *Attack - Vomammoth*
Vomammoth: *55 damage - dies*
Kupek: *Attack - Lobo*
Lobo: *94 damage - dies*
*End battle*
Locke: Look at these retards!
*He uses some piss easy evasion tactics to get to the guard*
*Enter battle*
Marshal: *Net - Kupop*
Kupop: *Stopped*
Lobo2: *Tusk - Kupek*
Kupek: *15 damage - 78 remaining*
Lobo1 *Tusk - Kupek*
Kupek: *15 damage - 63 remaining*
Lobo1 *Tusk - Kupek*
Kupek: *14 damage - 49 remaining*
Kupek: BASTARDS!!!
Marshal: *Attack - Kumama*
Kumama: *55 damage - 8 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Lobo1*
Lobo1: *44 damage - dies*
Kupek: *Attack - Lobo2*
Lobo2: *91 damage - dies*
Kumama: *Tonic - 50 HP recovered - 58 remaining*
Marshal: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *50 damage - 25 remaining*
Locke: It's time to kick ass and chew gum! *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *36 damage - 384 remaining*
Kupek: *Attack: Marshal*
Marshal: *76 damage - 308 remaining*
Marshal: * Attack - Locke - Misses*
Locke: *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *36 damage - 272 remaining*
Kumama: *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *44 damage - 228 remaining*
Kupop: *(Recovered from Stop) Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *67 damage - 161 remaining*
Marshal: *Charge - Kupek*
Kupek: *112 damage - KOd*
Locke: Bastard *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *36 damage - 125 remaining*
Kumama: *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *45 damage - 80 remaining*
Marshal: *Charge - Kupop*
Kupop: *111 damage - KO'd*
Locke: Fuck! *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *36 damage - 44 remaining*
Marshal: *Charge - Kumama*
Kumama: *112 damage -KOd*
Locke: Last chance! *Attack - Marshal*
Marshal: *47 damage - dies*
*End battle*
Locke: Sorry Moogles, looks like you'll get your prize another time! *Runs off with Terra*
Locke: I think this switch'll... *Presses switch*
*A passage opens up*
Shadow: I must fulfil my promise to Maria
*Flashback*
Voice: Find them before they escape!
Maria: *puff, pant*
*Gunshot is heard*
Shadow: Maria!!!
Maria: Shadow I beg of you... please do it for me.
Shadow: Maria!
Maria: For all the people... on that planet...
Maria: Sayonara...Shadow the Hedgehog.
*End flashback*
Shadow: Maria! I still remember what I promised you. For the people of this planet...I promise you...REVENGE!
*Enter battle*
Shadow: *Fire summersault - Locke*
Locke: *9278 damage - KOd*
Terra: No...
?????: CHAOS CONTROL!!!
Shadow: Of all the places for that blue hedgehog to be...
Sonic: *Phoenix Down - Locke*
Shadow: Face me fake hedgehog!
Sonic: *Sonic Wind - Shadow*
Shadow: *8592 damage - 83844*
Shadow: *Chaos Spear - Sonic*
Sonic: *9612 damage - 83602 remaining*
Sonic: *Timestop - Shadow*
Shadow: *Stopped*
Sonic: Run Locke! ESCAPE!!
*Locke and Terra run away*
Terra: That was weird...
Locke: Look who's talking. Hey! We're near Figaro!
--------------------------------------------------
And that's chapter 2. Sorry if the battles were too long please review this.