Chapter 4: Vargas
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
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*They make a U-turn on their chocobos*
Edgar: Bravo, Figaro!
Locke: Why is my theme still playing?
Kefka: Son of a submariner! Er...if that IS an insult...
*They run past Kefka and away from him*
Locke: This is great!
Edgar: Was that sarcasm?
Locke: Dunno....
Terra: Was that a bad person? He looked sooo hot!
Edgar: Terra, there's someone I'd like you to meet later...
Terra: Oh yeah!
Locke: NO HE DOESN'T MEAN THAT. We're members of the Returners.
Edgar: Our mentor. Banon would certainly like to meet you.
Terra: NOT ANOTHER FUCKING PAEDOPHILE!!!
Edgar: Don't worry he won't touch you...
*Edgar's fantasy*
Terra: NO I WON'T FUCK YOU!!
Banon: SO WHAT I WANT SOME OF THOSE TITS!!!
*Edgar enters with a chainsaw*
Edgar: SILENCE FUCK! *Slices Banon in half*
Terra: Oh Edgar, you saved me.
*They passionately make out, which turns into full haul sex afterwards*
*Edgar's fantasy ends - he snaps back to reality with him masturbating on the desert floor*
Edgar: Oooooooo!! Huh? Where did all this milk come from?
Locke: Well it certainly CUMED from somewhere.
Terra: *Rolling around in it* OOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!! Huh? You've stopped...
Edgar: ANYWAY!
*They get back on their chocobos and continue*
Edgar: "Magic" is going to be the key to winning this war.
Terra: Not that sad card game!
Locke: No your powers!
Edgar: Terra has sexual powers. That Esper seemed to...react to her. Can there be some connection?
Terra: I don't know and I don't care. I'm just a natural at this...
Edgar: But no HUMAN is born with the tits you seem to have, and...
Terra: Seem?
Edgar: I apologize.
Edgar: I'm sure the Empire is going to come for you...If they get their hands on those again, the world's finished...Terra, you want to understand your own tits, right?
Terra: ...
Edgar: ALL RIGHT, TIME'S UP, NO CHANGE IN ANSWER. We should go see Banon now.
Terra: ......
Locke: Please...
Terra: Okay.
Edgar: *Thinking to himself* What the fuck? She obeys Locke right away and takes her time with me? Hmm...
Edgar: OK! To the south there's a cave that leads to South Figaro.
*Edgar appears on the world map on his chocobo*
Edgar: HEY!!!! 3D VIEW!!! *Walks in a circle*
Locke: The fuck? Why are the mountains flat?
Terra: We don't have a 3D engine...
Edgar & Locke: Ooookay...
*They go to the cave and leave their chocobos*
Edgar: *Talks to the chocobo*
Chocobo: ...
Locke: Talk to the Soldier...
Edgar: But...
Locke: NOW!!!!!
Soldier: King Edgar! Where are you headed?
Edgar: The same place as every other man duh!
Soldier: NO YOU SICK BASTARD!!!! Where are you going?
Edgar: OH! Through the cave and eastward to South Figaro. Return to the castle, and tell the others SHE'S safe!
Soldier: Yes, Sir! *To Terra* Here's my room number in the castle. Come anytime you like *winks*
Terra: ......
*They enter the cave*
Edgar: *Walks a few paces* HELP!!! I CAN'T STOP!!!
Voice: Recovery spring
Edgar: Oookay...
*They make their way through the cave, taking the treasure*
Locke: Y'know it's understandable that people may drop things, but how come treasure chests just lie everywhere is a mystery to me...
*They reach south Figaro*
Edgar: Let's go to the inn.
*They go to the inn, and Edgar decides to buy some relics*
Mog: I'll explain how to use relics
Edgar: No, now fuck off...
Mog: Bastards...
Edgar: Hey sprint shoes; we can run faster now!
Locke: Why do we need a relic to sprint? All 3 of us are relatively fit.
Edgar: Especially Terra *drools*
Terra: *Blushes*
*They rest at the inn*
Edgar: Let's take the other exit *walks down the stairs*
Edgar: Woah! What's with the music? *Tries to go towards ninja* MOVE IT OLD MAN!!! Do you just walk randomly?
Old Man: Yes...
Edgar: *Talks to ninja*
Ninja: ....
Locke: Yo? Talk to us!
Edgar: Stand back! I've heard about this guy...
Voice: He's a male hooker and will do anything for money. HE CUMS FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF FUCKING LIGHT!
Edgar: *Names Shadow* That's Shadow...! He'd fuck his mama for a nickel!
Locke: What's a nickel?
Terra: Doesn't this mean we have 2 Shadows in the story now?
Shadow: Oh no we don't *Transforms into Shadow the Hedgehog*
Locke: SHIT!!!
Shadow: GIVE ME THAT RELIC SO I CAN OUTRUN THAT BLUE HEDGEHOG! *Charges Light Speed Attack*
Edgar: OKAY, OKAY!!! *Hands it over*
Shadow: CHAOS CONTROL!!! *Teleports away*
Edgar: Fuck! We can't run fast anymore. And we're out of GP to buy another. Let's go now.
*They leave and find somebody's house*
Edgar: Let's just enter without knocking or any of that polite shit!
*They go in*
Edgar: Hm... What's that smell...?
Locke: *Blushes*
*Edgar examines the house*
Edgar: These condoms! They were his favourite!
Edgar: And this...His favourite Viagra...
Edgar: *Steps in bed* What the fuck? *Music plays and room darkens*
Edgar: Well that was a good sleep, even though I didn't mean to have it!
Edgar: *Leaves house* Sabin...he was...here?!
*Talks to a Man who just appeared*
Edgar: The fuck? You know this guy?
Man: HELL YEAH! He was my homie until some Master Fuckster died. He left to get head in the mountains. I heard this fuck's son is missing as well. I have a bad feeling about this *Thinking to himself* NOOO!! THERE'S NO SEXY MEN LEFT!!! *Leaves*
*They head off to Mt. Kolts*
Edgar: So fucking slow without the sprint shoes...
*After a while they reach the save point*
Terra: Let's use the tent we picked up.
Edgar: Hey, I'm the leader! Let's use the tent we picked up.
Terra: Asshole...
*They use the tent and save the game*
Edgar: This is obviously an opportunity for us to get weakened before the boss.
Locke: You're probably right...
*For no reason the enemies ONLY attack Edgar*
Edgar: Bastards...
Terra: *Cure - Edgar*
Edgar: Thanks!
*They make it to the centre*
Vargas: Sabin sent you, right?
*Jumps on Edgar, and then Terra and Locke pop out of him*
Locke: Such power...
Edgar: Sabin? Is he here?
Locke: You were shadowing us earlier right?
Vargas: Wrong, you were following me so it's the other way round. And how unlucky it is for you that I waited for you...
Edgar: Shit...
*Enter battle*
Vargas 11600 HP
Ipooh1 360 HP
Ipooh2 360 HP
VS
Terra 114 HP
Locke 144 HP
Edgar 145 HP
Terra: Let's see some chainsaw now!
Edgar: I don't have one; I just use them well.
Locke: Shit...Hey I can't attack Vargas! *Attack - Ipooh1*
Ipooh1: *38 damage - 322 remaining*
Vargas: *Attack - Terra*
Terra: *40 damage - 74 remaining*
Ipooh1: *Attack - Terra*
Terra: *37 damage - 37 remaining*
Ipooh2: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *38 damage - 106 remaining*
Terra: *Cure-All - 54 HP recovered - 91 remaining*
Locke: *51 HP recovered - 144 remaining*
Edgar: *50 HP recovered - 145 remaining*
Ipooh1: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *42 damage - 102 remaining*
Vargas: *Gale Cut*
Edgar: *53 damage - 92 remaining*
Locke: *52 damage - 50 remaining*
Terra: *51 damage - 40 remaining*
Ipooh2: *Attack - Edgar*
Edgar: *36 damage - 56 remaining*
Edgar: Finally, my turn! *AutoCrossbow*
Ipooh1: *107 damage - 215 remaining*
Ipooh2: *103 damage - 257 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Ipooh1*
Ipooh1: *37 damage - 178 remaining*
Terra: *Cure-All - 50 HP recovered - 90 remaining*
Locke: *540 HP recovered - 104 remaining*
Edgar: *54 HP recovered - 110 remaining*
Ipooh1: *Claw - Edgar*
Edgar: *55 damage - 55 remaining*
Ipooh2: *Claw - Edgar*
Edgar: *51 damage - 4 remaining*
Vargas: *Attack - Edgar*
Edgar: *36 damage - KOd*
Locke: *Phoenix Down - Edgar*
Edgar: *Revived - 18 HP remaining*
Terra: *Cure - Edgar*
Edgar: *120 HP recovered - 120 remaining*
Ipooh1: *Attack - Edgar*
Edgar: *34 damage - 86 remaining*
Ipooh2: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *40 damage - 64 remaining*
Vargas: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *41 damage - 23 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Ipooh1: *105 damage - 110 remaining*
Ipooh2: *100 damage - 157 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Ipooh2*
Ipooh2: *42 damage - 115 remaining*
Ipooh1: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *38 damage - KOd*
Ipooh2: *Attack - Terra*
Terra: *34 damage - 56 remaining*
Vargas: Come on! What's the matter? *Attack - Terra*
Terra: *72 damage - KOd*
Edgar: *Phoenix Down - Terra*
Terra: *Revived - 14 HP remaining*
*Suddenly Sonic teleports in*
Sonic: Edgar, Vargas is allied with Shadow!
Edgar: SHIT!!!
Sonic: I'm here to help! *Life2 - Locke*
Locke: *Revived - 144 HP remaining*
Sonic *Cure2 - All*
Edgar: *145 HP remaining*
Terra: *114 HP remaining*
Sonic: *Sonic Wind*
Ipooh1: *9623 damage - dies*
Ipooh2: *9170 damage - dies*
Sonic: He's all yours now. CHAOS CONTROL!!! *Teleports away*
Locke: What a nice guy! *Attack - Vargas*
Vargas - *45 damage - 11555 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Vargas: *119 damage - 11436 remaining
Locke: *Steal - Vargas - Stole Tonic*
Vargas: *Attack - Edgar*
Locke: *32 damage - 113 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Vargas: *109 damage - 11327 remaining*
Terra: *Fire - Vargas*
Vargas: *88 damage - 11239 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Vargas*
Vargas: *44 damage -11195 remaining*
Vargas: *Gale Cut*
Edgar: *51 damage - 62 remaining*
Locke: *53 damage - 91 remaining*
Terra: *52 damage - 62 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Vargas: *109 damage - 11086 remaining*
Locke: *Tincture - Terra*
Terra: *50 MP recovered - 40 MP remaining*
Terra: *Cure-All - 52 HP recovered - 114 remaining*
Locke: *52 HP recovered - 143 remaining*
Edgar: *56 HP recovered - 118 remaining*
Vargas: *Attack - Terra*
Terra: *Critical - 72 damage - 42 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Vargas*
Vargas: *43 damage - 11043 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Vargas: *115 damage - 10928 remaining*
Terra: *Cure - 113 HP recovered - 114 remaining*
Vargas: Come on. What's the matter? *Attacks Terra then Edgar*
Terra: *38 damage - 76 remaining*
Edgar: *34 damage - 84 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Vargas*
Vargas: *45 damage - 10833 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Vargas: *119 damage - 10764 remaining*
Vargas: ENOUGH!! Off with ya now!
?????: Give it up, Vargas! *Hops in*
Vargas: You may me in front of my very eyes but I'm still going to ask is that you, Sabin?!
Sabin: Vargas, Why'd you do it? How could you rape your father?!
Vargas: He made you his successor and not me dumbass! I'M HIS SON FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!
Sabin: No! You were the one he chose!
Vargas: Liar, Liar, pants on fire!
Sabin: Our Master wanted you to be his successor, not me. He appreciated your fine spirit......
Vargas: SILENCE!! ENOUGH BULLSHIT!!! DIE!! *Mortal Attack! Blizzard Fist!*
*Blows Locke and Edgar away, while Terra and Sabin try to resist*
Terra: Can't hold on much longer...
Sabin: But I will never let go!
Terra: *Clothes starting to rip off* Oh shit, might as well... *Blows away*
Vargas: Ahh, Sabin! The master taught you well!
Sabin: There's no avoiding my attack!
Vargas: Fate made us train together, and fate will send you to your doom!
Sabin: I may be smaller than you, but that's just the battle view.
Vargas: *Doom Fist - Sabin*
Sabin: *35 damage - 143 remaining - Death countdown starts*
Vargas: Man, I'm knackered from such a weak attack...
Sabin: Fuck! I can't remember how to blitz. *Attack - Vargas*
Vargas: *89 damage - 10675*
Vargas: Come on Sabin! There's no going back!
Sabin: I just can't remember...Screw this *Selects blitz and presses random buttons*
Sabin: *Bum Rush*
Vargas: *7095 damage*
Vargas: Well even though you didn't exhaust all my health, I'm going to die anyway. *Dies*
*End battle*
Edgar: SABIN!!!!
Sabin: There's no need to shout, I can hear you. *Turns around* Big brother?
Voice: Day 4 in the big brother house. Vargas has been evicted and Sabin has entered the house late.
Sabin: SHUT UP!! Big brother???????
*Because Edgar is a vegetable with out the sprint shoes and Sabin is so thick Locke has to go up to Sabin and nod to him*
Locke: The brothers are reunited!
Terra: Younger..."brother"? So there's 2 of you! *Drools*
Sabin: Ooookay...Anyway, brother, what are you doing here?
Edgar: We're on the way to the Sabil mountains. But more importantly why do you talk normal now?
Sabin: You ever see someone like me who talks like a retard.
Terra: I thought no strong man is smart.
Sabin: Well fuck that. I'm joining you now!
Locke: Good! I need a rest.
Terra: And I just need a bed *winks at Sabin*
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That was REALLY long. Now I've got one more week of school and then a week abroad so updates will pick up again in about 2 weeks. Monday 14th July is my guess for the next update but there MAY be one before Friday. Please review it as usual.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
--------------------------------------------------
*They make a U-turn on their chocobos*
Edgar: Bravo, Figaro!
Locke: Why is my theme still playing?
Kefka: Son of a submariner! Er...if that IS an insult...
*They run past Kefka and away from him*
Locke: This is great!
Edgar: Was that sarcasm?
Locke: Dunno....
Terra: Was that a bad person? He looked sooo hot!
Edgar: Terra, there's someone I'd like you to meet later...
Terra: Oh yeah!
Locke: NO HE DOESN'T MEAN THAT. We're members of the Returners.
Edgar: Our mentor. Banon would certainly like to meet you.
Terra: NOT ANOTHER FUCKING PAEDOPHILE!!!
Edgar: Don't worry he won't touch you...
*Edgar's fantasy*
Terra: NO I WON'T FUCK YOU!!
Banon: SO WHAT I WANT SOME OF THOSE TITS!!!
*Edgar enters with a chainsaw*
Edgar: SILENCE FUCK! *Slices Banon in half*
Terra: Oh Edgar, you saved me.
*They passionately make out, which turns into full haul sex afterwards*
*Edgar's fantasy ends - he snaps back to reality with him masturbating on the desert floor*
Edgar: Oooooooo!! Huh? Where did all this milk come from?
Locke: Well it certainly CUMED from somewhere.
Terra: *Rolling around in it* OOOOOOOOOOOOOO YEAH!!!! Huh? You've stopped...
Edgar: ANYWAY!
*They get back on their chocobos and continue*
Edgar: "Magic" is going to be the key to winning this war.
Terra: Not that sad card game!
Locke: No your powers!
Edgar: Terra has sexual powers. That Esper seemed to...react to her. Can there be some connection?
Terra: I don't know and I don't care. I'm just a natural at this...
Edgar: But no HUMAN is born with the tits you seem to have, and...
Terra: Seem?
Edgar: I apologize.
Edgar: I'm sure the Empire is going to come for you...If they get their hands on those again, the world's finished...Terra, you want to understand your own tits, right?
Terra: ...
Edgar: ALL RIGHT, TIME'S UP, NO CHANGE IN ANSWER. We should go see Banon now.
Terra: ......
Locke: Please...
Terra: Okay.
Edgar: *Thinking to himself* What the fuck? She obeys Locke right away and takes her time with me? Hmm...
Edgar: OK! To the south there's a cave that leads to South Figaro.
*Edgar appears on the world map on his chocobo*
Edgar: HEY!!!! 3D VIEW!!! *Walks in a circle*
Locke: The fuck? Why are the mountains flat?
Terra: We don't have a 3D engine...
Edgar & Locke: Ooookay...
*They go to the cave and leave their chocobos*
Edgar: *Talks to the chocobo*
Chocobo: ...
Locke: Talk to the Soldier...
Edgar: But...
Locke: NOW!!!!!
Soldier: King Edgar! Where are you headed?
Edgar: The same place as every other man duh!
Soldier: NO YOU SICK BASTARD!!!! Where are you going?
Edgar: OH! Through the cave and eastward to South Figaro. Return to the castle, and tell the others SHE'S safe!
Soldier: Yes, Sir! *To Terra* Here's my room number in the castle. Come anytime you like *winks*
Terra: ......
*They enter the cave*
Edgar: *Walks a few paces* HELP!!! I CAN'T STOP!!!
Voice: Recovery spring
Edgar: Oookay...
*They make their way through the cave, taking the treasure*
Locke: Y'know it's understandable that people may drop things, but how come treasure chests just lie everywhere is a mystery to me...
*They reach south Figaro*
Edgar: Let's go to the inn.
*They go to the inn, and Edgar decides to buy some relics*
Mog: I'll explain how to use relics
Edgar: No, now fuck off...
Mog: Bastards...
Edgar: Hey sprint shoes; we can run faster now!
Locke: Why do we need a relic to sprint? All 3 of us are relatively fit.
Edgar: Especially Terra *drools*
Terra: *Blushes*
*They rest at the inn*
Edgar: Let's take the other exit *walks down the stairs*
Edgar: Woah! What's with the music? *Tries to go towards ninja* MOVE IT OLD MAN!!! Do you just walk randomly?
Old Man: Yes...
Edgar: *Talks to ninja*
Ninja: ....
Locke: Yo? Talk to us!
Edgar: Stand back! I've heard about this guy...
Voice: He's a male hooker and will do anything for money. HE CUMS FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF FUCKING LIGHT!
Edgar: *Names Shadow* That's Shadow...! He'd fuck his mama for a nickel!
Locke: What's a nickel?
Terra: Doesn't this mean we have 2 Shadows in the story now?
Shadow: Oh no we don't *Transforms into Shadow the Hedgehog*
Locke: SHIT!!!
Shadow: GIVE ME THAT RELIC SO I CAN OUTRUN THAT BLUE HEDGEHOG! *Charges Light Speed Attack*
Edgar: OKAY, OKAY!!! *Hands it over*
Shadow: CHAOS CONTROL!!! *Teleports away*
Edgar: Fuck! We can't run fast anymore. And we're out of GP to buy another. Let's go now.
*They leave and find somebody's house*
Edgar: Let's just enter without knocking or any of that polite shit!
*They go in*
Edgar: Hm... What's that smell...?
Locke: *Blushes*
*Edgar examines the house*
Edgar: These condoms! They were his favourite!
Edgar: And this...His favourite Viagra...
Edgar: *Steps in bed* What the fuck? *Music plays and room darkens*
Edgar: Well that was a good sleep, even though I didn't mean to have it!
Edgar: *Leaves house* Sabin...he was...here?!
*Talks to a Man who just appeared*
Edgar: The fuck? You know this guy?
Man: HELL YEAH! He was my homie until some Master Fuckster died. He left to get head in the mountains. I heard this fuck's son is missing as well. I have a bad feeling about this *Thinking to himself* NOOO!! THERE'S NO SEXY MEN LEFT!!! *Leaves*
*They head off to Mt. Kolts*
Edgar: So fucking slow without the sprint shoes...
*After a while they reach the save point*
Terra: Let's use the tent we picked up.
Edgar: Hey, I'm the leader! Let's use the tent we picked up.
Terra: Asshole...
*They use the tent and save the game*
Edgar: This is obviously an opportunity for us to get weakened before the boss.
Locke: You're probably right...
*For no reason the enemies ONLY attack Edgar*
Edgar: Bastards...
Terra: *Cure - Edgar*
Edgar: Thanks!
*They make it to the centre*
Vargas: Sabin sent you, right?
*Jumps on Edgar, and then Terra and Locke pop out of him*
Locke: Such power...
Edgar: Sabin? Is he here?
Locke: You were shadowing us earlier right?
Vargas: Wrong, you were following me so it's the other way round. And how unlucky it is for you that I waited for you...
Edgar: Shit...
*Enter battle*
Vargas 11600 HP
Ipooh1 360 HP
Ipooh2 360 HP
VS
Terra 114 HP
Locke 144 HP
Edgar 145 HP
Terra: Let's see some chainsaw now!
Edgar: I don't have one; I just use them well.
Locke: Shit...Hey I can't attack Vargas! *Attack - Ipooh1*
Ipooh1: *38 damage - 322 remaining*
Vargas: *Attack - Terra*
Terra: *40 damage - 74 remaining*
Ipooh1: *Attack - Terra*
Terra: *37 damage - 37 remaining*
Ipooh2: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *38 damage - 106 remaining*
Terra: *Cure-All - 54 HP recovered - 91 remaining*
Locke: *51 HP recovered - 144 remaining*
Edgar: *50 HP recovered - 145 remaining*
Ipooh1: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *42 damage - 102 remaining*
Vargas: *Gale Cut*
Edgar: *53 damage - 92 remaining*
Locke: *52 damage - 50 remaining*
Terra: *51 damage - 40 remaining*
Ipooh2: *Attack - Edgar*
Edgar: *36 damage - 56 remaining*
Edgar: Finally, my turn! *AutoCrossbow*
Ipooh1: *107 damage - 215 remaining*
Ipooh2: *103 damage - 257 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Ipooh1*
Ipooh1: *37 damage - 178 remaining*
Terra: *Cure-All - 50 HP recovered - 90 remaining*
Locke: *540 HP recovered - 104 remaining*
Edgar: *54 HP recovered - 110 remaining*
Ipooh1: *Claw - Edgar*
Edgar: *55 damage - 55 remaining*
Ipooh2: *Claw - Edgar*
Edgar: *51 damage - 4 remaining*
Vargas: *Attack - Edgar*
Edgar: *36 damage - KOd*
Locke: *Phoenix Down - Edgar*
Edgar: *Revived - 18 HP remaining*
Terra: *Cure - Edgar*
Edgar: *120 HP recovered - 120 remaining*
Ipooh1: *Attack - Edgar*
Edgar: *34 damage - 86 remaining*
Ipooh2: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *40 damage - 64 remaining*
Vargas: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *41 damage - 23 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Ipooh1: *105 damage - 110 remaining*
Ipooh2: *100 damage - 157 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Ipooh2*
Ipooh2: *42 damage - 115 remaining*
Ipooh1: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *38 damage - KOd*
Ipooh2: *Attack - Terra*
Terra: *34 damage - 56 remaining*
Vargas: Come on! What's the matter? *Attack - Terra*
Terra: *72 damage - KOd*
Edgar: *Phoenix Down - Terra*
Terra: *Revived - 14 HP remaining*
*Suddenly Sonic teleports in*
Sonic: Edgar, Vargas is allied with Shadow!
Edgar: SHIT!!!
Sonic: I'm here to help! *Life2 - Locke*
Locke: *Revived - 144 HP remaining*
Sonic *Cure2 - All*
Edgar: *145 HP remaining*
Terra: *114 HP remaining*
Sonic: *Sonic Wind*
Ipooh1: *9623 damage - dies*
Ipooh2: *9170 damage - dies*
Sonic: He's all yours now. CHAOS CONTROL!!! *Teleports away*
Locke: What a nice guy! *Attack - Vargas*
Vargas - *45 damage - 11555 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Vargas: *119 damage - 11436 remaining
Locke: *Steal - Vargas - Stole Tonic*
Vargas: *Attack - Edgar*
Locke: *32 damage - 113 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Vargas: *109 damage - 11327 remaining*
Terra: *Fire - Vargas*
Vargas: *88 damage - 11239 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Vargas*
Vargas: *44 damage -11195 remaining*
Vargas: *Gale Cut*
Edgar: *51 damage - 62 remaining*
Locke: *53 damage - 91 remaining*
Terra: *52 damage - 62 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Vargas: *109 damage - 11086 remaining*
Locke: *Tincture - Terra*
Terra: *50 MP recovered - 40 MP remaining*
Terra: *Cure-All - 52 HP recovered - 114 remaining*
Locke: *52 HP recovered - 143 remaining*
Edgar: *56 HP recovered - 118 remaining*
Vargas: *Attack - Terra*
Terra: *Critical - 72 damage - 42 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Vargas*
Vargas: *43 damage - 11043 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Vargas: *115 damage - 10928 remaining*
Terra: *Cure - 113 HP recovered - 114 remaining*
Vargas: Come on. What's the matter? *Attacks Terra then Edgar*
Terra: *38 damage - 76 remaining*
Edgar: *34 damage - 84 remaining*
Locke: *Attack - Vargas*
Vargas: *45 damage - 10833 remaining*
Edgar: *AutoCrossbow*
Vargas: *119 damage - 10764 remaining*
Vargas: ENOUGH!! Off with ya now!
?????: Give it up, Vargas! *Hops in*
Vargas: You may me in front of my very eyes but I'm still going to ask is that you, Sabin?!
Sabin: Vargas, Why'd you do it? How could you rape your father?!
Vargas: He made you his successor and not me dumbass! I'M HIS SON FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!
Sabin: No! You were the one he chose!
Vargas: Liar, Liar, pants on fire!
Sabin: Our Master wanted you to be his successor, not me. He appreciated your fine spirit......
Vargas: SILENCE!! ENOUGH BULLSHIT!!! DIE!! *Mortal Attack! Blizzard Fist!*
*Blows Locke and Edgar away, while Terra and Sabin try to resist*
Terra: Can't hold on much longer...
Sabin: But I will never let go!
Terra: *Clothes starting to rip off* Oh shit, might as well... *Blows away*
Vargas: Ahh, Sabin! The master taught you well!
Sabin: There's no avoiding my attack!
Vargas: Fate made us train together, and fate will send you to your doom!
Sabin: I may be smaller than you, but that's just the battle view.
Vargas: *Doom Fist - Sabin*
Sabin: *35 damage - 143 remaining - Death countdown starts*
Vargas: Man, I'm knackered from such a weak attack...
Sabin: Fuck! I can't remember how to blitz. *Attack - Vargas*
Vargas: *89 damage - 10675*
Vargas: Come on Sabin! There's no going back!
Sabin: I just can't remember...Screw this *Selects blitz and presses random buttons*
Sabin: *Bum Rush*
Vargas: *7095 damage*
Vargas: Well even though you didn't exhaust all my health, I'm going to die anyway. *Dies*
*End battle*
Edgar: SABIN!!!!
Sabin: There's no need to shout, I can hear you. *Turns around* Big brother?
Voice: Day 4 in the big brother house. Vargas has been evicted and Sabin has entered the house late.
Sabin: SHUT UP!! Big brother???????
*Because Edgar is a vegetable with out the sprint shoes and Sabin is so thick Locke has to go up to Sabin and nod to him*
Locke: The brothers are reunited!
Terra: Younger..."brother"? So there's 2 of you! *Drools*
Sabin: Ooookay...Anyway, brother, what are you doing here?
Edgar: We're on the way to the Sabil mountains. But more importantly why do you talk normal now?
Sabin: You ever see someone like me who talks like a retard.
Terra: I thought no strong man is smart.
Sabin: Well fuck that. I'm joining you now!
Locke: Good! I need a rest.
Terra: And I just need a bed *winks at Sabin*
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That was REALLY long. Now I've got one more week of school and then a week abroad so updates will pick up again in about 2 weeks. Monday 14th July is my guess for the next update but there MAY be one before Friday. Please review it as usual.