Aaah, finally, I'm all done with finals, all done with packing…all done with college! For the summer, at least…yeah, well, I'll enjoy it while I can, that's for damn sure. So thanks for your patience to those of you who didn't totally harass me about the update thing since I did write in my profile that I wouldn't be updating this last week due to finals. To those of you who did harass me…oh well, I can understand why you'd be upset, even if I am usually so good about updating…sigh, I feel sometimes like if I just stop updating, I'll get hunted down or something…burninating the countryside…sorry, my imouto has it stuck in her head and she keeps singing it and it's not making it easier on me…gah.
*****
One More Try
Part 5
*****
After The Hug, I gained some hope that maybe…just maybe, Spike could have some sort of feelings for me as well. At least, I had to revise my earlier decision that he just hated me, as he seemed to think I was pretty okay. I mean…he did hug me, after all. It was such a good hug, too…
"Faye, what's with that look?" Spike's amused voice interrupted my thoughts, and I shook my head, blushing slightly as I concentrated on the all important task of pouring my third morning cup of coffee. It had been a few days since The Hug, and I was still on cloud nine, which showed how incredibly pathetic I was about the whole thing. Not like you could really blame me, though. I mean, I'd been lusting after the man for so long, of course I'd be ecstatic to receive a little attention from him. "If you don't watch it, you'll pour coffee all over your hand."
"Oh shit!" I'd let my attention wander again, and I barely avoided spilling all over myself in my shocked jolt as I realized that my cup was about to overflow. Tilting up the coffee pot sharply, I still sloshed some of the hot liquid over my hand, and with a sharp cry, I spilled the mug and then dropped the whole pot, stumbling backward and tripping over my own feet as the pot thankfully fell the short distance to the counter without breaking or tipping any further than it already had. Just as I opened my mouth, shocked at my burned hand and about to fall on my ass, an arm swept up behind me and caught me. Of course, since it was my third cup of the morning, Spike and I were already fully dressed, so at least I didn't have to worry about any more robe incidents.
"Damn, Faye. You should just get back in bed if you're gonna be like that." Spike teased me, and even though my hand should have been hurting me, all I seemed to care about was the fact that his arms were suddenly around me. Again. And even though he looked like he was ready to start laughing at me, his face so close to mine…it was almost too much for me. I couldn't think of anything to say, so I only offered a weak laugh.
"Come on, stop staring like a dolt." He teased me, pushing my body back upright so that I wouldn't fall if he let me go. "Seriously, are you fucking drunk or something? You're acting like an idiot." I felt more foolish than ever at that moment. Of course he didn't feel the way I felt. Just because he'd shown me a little kindness…that didn't mean anything. But then again…
"I'm…fine." I told him after a few moments, feeling very ashamed at my inability to say anything clever.
"You sure? Cause you've been walking around all distracted for days now. It's fucking weirding everyone out. See?" Spike pointed to the doorway where Ed was peeking at us, completely silent but with a look of utter fascination on her face. "And Jet wanted to know what the hell I did to you. Like I have any control over how women act and what the hell they do." He grumbled, grabbing the coffee pot and pouring two mugs, one for me and one for him. He handed me mine, and I took it, surprised that he was doing anything for me. After all, in the past I could barely get two nice words out of Spike Spiegel, and now he was pouring me coffee and acting concerned over me. Well…kinda concerned.
"Shit." I hissed as I let both hands encircle the cup, absently forgetting that I had coffee burns all over my right. In fact, there was still coffee dripping off of it, and that made me feel like such a dolt I almost started blushing. Again! I had found that lately, there was something wrong with my blushing controls, and that Spike's nearness only exacerbated the condition. Maybe if I had hidden away in my room for longer, this wouldn't be such a damn issue, but there I was, trying desperately not to blush, and still feeling the blood move up higher in my face. Setting down the coffee, I went to the sink and busied myself pouring cold water over my burn. It wasn't too terribly bad, just a patch of red skin where the coffee had spilled, but I knew it would sting for a few days. As I sat there, cursing my stupid inattention, Spike moved over beside me, setting down his coffee and reaching for my burned hand, an unreadable expression on his face.
"Let's see that." His voice was strange, almost gentle, and I felt my heart flutter at the unexpected attention. "Pretty stupid, burning yourself with coffee. How the hell you expect us to go out after the next bounty and come back alive if you can't even pour your fucking coffee right?"
"I was…just…" somehow, it was hard to come up with a good comeback when I was too busy concentrating on the way his fingers brushed gently over the burned flesh, resting on my wrist and holding it gently, drawing it up toward his face. I made a soft noise then, a protest or an expression of shock, maybe both, maybe neither. There were so many emotions swirling inside of me at that moment that I could hardly tell what I was feeling.
"Here, the first aid kit's under the sink, right?" He tugged me forward slightly as he bent to open the cupboard under the sink with his free hand. He didn't wait for an answer, which was fine, since I was utterly speechless at that point. I managed a slight croak of affirmation just as he found the kit and rummaged through it, pulling out an ointment bottle and shifting his hand on mine so that he could squeeze some of the cooling gel onto my burn, rubbing it with one large thumb as I stared up at his face in amazement. He was looking down at my burn with a concentrated look on his face, and I was sure he was making a conscious effort to be gentle. What was happening? First…the hug, and now this…it was too much for me. I didn't know what to think. I'd been so comfortable in my spot, simply thinking that Spike would never want me, would never willingly approach me, and would never show any interest in me. But then there was the rape kiss, and ever since then, he'd been acting so strange, I could hardly believe it was the same man anymore. "Better?" he asked, giving me a small smile as he looked up from my hand. I was struck by his eyes, always so fascinating in their asimilar coloring. It was hard to think which one was real and which was fake when he was just looking at me like that, but when I recalled the kiss…the way he'd looked then…the left was definitely fake.
"I'm fine." I told him, my voice slightly shaky as I reached for the coffee I'd set down and let my hand fall short. There was no way I was going to pull away from Spike right now, from the way that his thumb rubbed gently against the inside of my hand and somehow, that innocent seeming touch was enough to make my throat close.
"You sure?" there was a swirl of something in his real eye then. Concern, I think, but I was too busy trying to not let my knees shake visibly to try and spend too much energy interpreting his emotions overly well.
"Uh…yeah." I gulped. Something about his eyes was so intense, I couldn't help but pull back in fear, or maybe in surprise. What was up with him lately? Was Spike Spiegel actually interested in the infamously slutty Faye Valentine? Would he really want someone like me? His eyes told me yes.
"Ed's got some info on the new bounty." Spike straightened up then, and it was like nothing had just happened between us. It was a relief, but also a bit of a disappointment. "Don't you, Ed?"
"Yep!" the redhead didn't seem bothered by the fact that Spike knew she had been watching us the entire time, but at the reminder of her presence, I had to fight back another round of insistent blushes. "The silly hacky-man can't hide from Tomato!" she declared happily, racing off to the living room as though she assumed we would naturally follow her. Taking another gulp of my coffee, I did so with Spike right behind me.
"Ed's got new information on the new bounty." Jet informed us as we joined him on the couch.
"Yeah, we were just coming to check it out." I responded, feeling a bit more comfortable in this much more familiar situation.
"Here ya go!" Ed, sitting at Tomato, picked the computer up and set it on the coffee table and presented us with a profile of our target.
"Steve Jorkins, also known as the Millipede, a highly rated hacker who's rumored to have pulled off more than a few top level jobs, wanted for interfering with the Interplanetary Justice Files, tampering with several records, transferring funds from—"
"Yeah, okay, we know he's a fucking criminal." Spike interrupted Jet's recital. "Let's get to the point."
"Ed got a lead! She traced his encryption and found out that he was not so smart as he wanted to be!" Ed jumped up in front of us, typing furiously to bring up a new file. She was still smiling brightly, but there seemed to be a bit of competitive spirit coming out of our young hacker, which seemed perfectly natural considering the circumstances of our new bounty. Ed thought tracking hackers was the "most fun." Go figure. "See!"
"Oh man…not a fucking trashy mine field refugee." Spike groaned as he noted the small map and the coordinates that Ed suspected of being the home base of our target. "Ed, are you sure he's staying in there? Cause I damn well don't want to go bumping around a mine field of abandoned ships if I don't have to."
"Ed is positive!" Ed assured us. "Five times Ed caught Millipede sending out an encoded signal, but Ed broke his encode and found him five times! So this is where he is."
"Good work, kid." I offered her a slight smile, even though I was with Spike on this one. I definitely hated mine fields. "Looks like we're going on a little trip. You with me, Spike?"
"Like I trust you alone." He snorted, standing and stretching. "Well, let's get moving Jet. You can drop us off at the edge."
"Way ahead of you." Jet told him. "We'll be ready for you two to move out in an hour if you're up for it." I sighed, drinking my coffee quickly. I hated mine fields. What a pain in the ass.
----------
"Okay…according to these coordinates, Millipede should be near where you guys are. Just look around for a suspicious looking dead ship, okay?" Jet's voice crackled slightly over the communication line. Mine fields always seemed to cause interference with outside communication as well as being a general pain in the ass to navigate or find anything in.
"Spike, what do you say to just randomly picking one of these junk buckets and getting started?" I suggested. It seemed like a good plan to me. After all, with dead ships, you can usually never tell what's going on inside until you board them, and then you can't be sure if you're going to have any warning before the bounty figures out that you're there…overall, it can be a bit dangerous, but I try not to think about it too hard.
"He's in that orange one." Spike answered me, making off for the nearby ship as I had no choice but to follow.
"What? How would you know? I don't see anything suspicious about that one." I asked over the communicator. I hated when Spike pretended to know everything.
"Got a hunch." He answered, which was about what I'd been expecting. He was a big one for "feelings" and "hunches" and all that. I called it guesswork; he called it his sixth sense. Sixth sense my ass. He was wrong just as often as he was right, but I never heard the end of it when he was right on the first guess. I hated that crap.
"Okay, let's do this." I was tempted to add a degrading comment onto that, but I knew it wouldn't really accomplish anything to start a fight when we were supposed to be catching a bounty. I wondered vaguely how dangerous this hacker was supposed to be. We were already prepared for our arrival in the mine field, suited up for the conditions of outer space. I pulled a helmet on after docking the Redtail next to the Swordfish, and opened my hatch, pushing off quickly to catch up with Spike, who was already at the entry hatch to the ship, waiting for me impatiently with his gun drawn. I pulled mine out of the convenient holster and gave him a nod. The suits had communicators installed, but we didn't need to talk every second of the mission.
"You head left." He told me as he turned the opposite direction once we'd gone through the pressurizing chamber and returned to the normal gravity of the ship's internal chambers. I wanted to smack Spike. The artificial gravity told us for sure that we'd found our man, but of course, he'd wait until later to rub it in my face. As I headed down the passage, careful not to let my footfalls become too loud, I held my gun up at the ready. At least if I found the guy, I'd have something to say for myself later. I hated it when Spike took all the credit.
And then I heard a rapid clicking, as though someone was working on a computer, and I grinned confidently, heading down the side hall that led toward the source of the noise. Technically, I should have told Spike that I'd found the target, but of course, I was so sure that it would be an easy catch that I determined to get him myself and then give Spike a hard time about it for a good week or so. That was standard gloating period, I figured. Although…I suppose if I had been paying more attention I would have noticed that the clicking had stopped, and I would have been a lot more cautious when I kicked the door in. As it was, I found myself face to face with a panicky looking geek boy, and before I could even warn him to put his hands up, he'd tossed something tiny and seemingly harmless at me, but as soon as it hit me, there was a flash of bright pain and fire, and then my world went black.
----------
Pain. That was all I could feel at first, pain. I was aware that it was very dark, and it took me some time to realize that this must be because of the fact that my eyes were closed. I decided that I'd better open them and see what was going on. Was I still on the Millipede's ship? If so, I needed to warn Spike…had to tell him that the kid had a few tricks up his sleeve. After all, it was all very fine that I'd been duped, but if the kid got Spike, we might lose our bounty and have to limp back to the Bebop empty-handed. Nothing pissed me off more than getting injured and losing the bounty. It was like adding insult to injury.
"Her eyes are moving." It took a moment for that voice to register as Ed's, and then I realized that I already was back on the Bebop. As my eyes cracked open, I saw Spike sitting over me, and unless I was delirious from the injuries, that was concern etched in his features. Ed's face was out of my immediate vision, but as my eyes fluttered open to try and get a better idea of my surroundings, I saw that I was on the couch with Ed perched on the floor near my head, hugging Ein with worry as she watched Spike and me. "Faye-faye? Are you dying?"
"No." I was awed at the horrible croak in my voice, but I didn't have much time to think about it before Ed was jumping up, running into the kitchen and squealing excitedly.
"Faye's aliiiiiive! In a bee hiiiiiiiiive! Full of chiiiiiives! In a biiiig seiiiiiiiive!" the song was ridiculous and wholly an Ed creation. I tried to chuckle, but it came out as a gurgling noise that was completely foreign to me.
"Don't try to talk now." Spike told me firmly, and my eyes widened slightly at the tone of his voice. He really was concerned, it seemed. Odd, I couldn't recall this ever happening before. Of course, I wasn't apt to being nailed with explosives while we were out trying to catch a bounty.
"Millipede…did we get him?" I croaked slightly, but my voice was becoming a bit more clear now that I was using it. "How long was I asleep?"
"Yeah, we got him. Don't worry, you can have your share as soon as you can walk." Spike teased slightly, his hand moving up to my face and brushing a few strands of my hair out of the way. "You've been out for about three days now."
"Really?" I could hardly believe it. Three days? I'd never been hurt that badly before in all the time I could remember.
"Yeah, scared us shitless." Spike told me, and the slight waver in his voice was enough to scare me as well. This was Spike at his most unsure, at the most vulnerable I could ever remember seeing him without him being drunk. It was terrifying in its own way.
"You're up?" Jet's deep voice distracted me for a moment, and I turned my head slightly despite the pain. I could see that he was relieved to see me awake, and though it was nice to know that everyone had been concerned, it struck me that Spike seemed to be the most affected by what had happened to me. "Spike was having a fit before. Wouldn't let anyone near you."
"I was not having a fit." Spike corrected, his tone impatient as he gave Jet a dark look. "I just didn't want anyone fucking around with you while you needed to rest."
"I'm fine now." I assured him, even though the pounding in my head told me that I was most definitely not fine. "I could…maybe use an aspirin or something. My head kinda hurts." At this, Spike reached over to the coffee table where I saw that he'd emptied the first aid kit and had all its contents scattered over the table in a haphazard mess. Typical Spike organization skills. After some hesitation, he found the aspirin and turned toward Jet.
"Get her some water." He ordered, as though they should all be waiting on me hand and foot. I couldn't help but be a bit surprised at how he was acting. It was so…strange. And for some reason, I suddenly realized that I was blushing. Damn him all to hell. Oh well, maybe he'd just think I was exhausted from the exertion of turning my head and talking. I'd rather have him think that than believe that he'd witnessed me blushing. "Faye, you're warm. You feel okay?" he pressed a hand to my cheek as he waited for Jet to return with the water.
"Oh…um…just a little tired." I looked down to try and get an idea of the damage I'd suffered. I hoped I didn't have any scars. That would really damage my career. However, though I could feel that I'd been hurt, I couldn't really see past the bandages that were wrapped around parts of my legs, my arms and…my chest. Suddenly, my blush returned full force. "Um…did you…treat me?" I asked, somehow hoping that it had been Jet that had bound my chest in the large portion of gauze that covered my breasts more effectively than my usual outfit did.
"Yeah, I figured it was time to return the favor." Spike answered, and I noticed that he was avoiding my eyes. Apparently, he knew why I was so concerned about the healing issue. That did not make me any more comfortable. Just then, as we were finding separate spots on the wall exceedingly fascinating, Jet came back, holding a glass of water and wearing a long-suffering look.
"So, was it worth the bounty?" he asked, trying to hand me the glass, but having it intercepted by a vicious looking Spike. What was with him anyway? Seriously, I could understand that he was feeling the need to fix me up or whatever, but it wasn't like I was going to die if one of the other crew members touched me.
"How much did I get again?" I asked Jet, ignoring the way that Spike was trying to tilt my head up and doing it for myself. I appreciated the concern, but I wasn't a baby after all.
"Five million." Jet told me, obviously trying not to laugh at the silent battle that was currently going on between Spike and I. As I tried to pull myself up, Spike tried to hold me down while also tilting the water down toward my mouth. For some reason, he seemed to think that I would be able to drink it perfectly well if I was flat on my back, but I think that he was only holding me down because I was trying to sit up. Stupid Spike.
"Totally worth it." I answered, but as soon as I opened my mouth, Spike tilted the cup the rest of the way and I choked and spluttered, squirting a mouthful of the liquid all over Spike and myself. "God! What are you trying to do!"
"Drink it!" Spike insisted, tilting it further.
"I need the aspirin first, dumbass!" I twisted my head away, trying to avoid having him pour the water down my throat again, but I ended up just getting a faceful of water. "Asshole! Dammit!"
"Well, looks like everything's back to normal." Jet stood, leaving as Spike and I continued our struggle.
"I'm just helping you!" Spike pulled the glass back and opened the aspirin bottle, shoving a pill at me forcefully while trying to hold me in one place.
"I can do it by myself!" I countered, twisting away and almost falling off the couch. "Holy…fuck!" I discovered at that point that I hurt. A lot. And that twisting off the couch didn't help me feel better. "God dammit…it hurts!"
"Then let me do it!" He caught me, pushing me back up on the couch and causing me to hurt even more. Yeah, really helpful Spike.
"Don't! That hurts!" I reached up to smack him, but of course, I couldn't get all the way to him before the burns on my arm made me stop and yelp in pain. At this point, something seemed to get through to Spike, and he stopped, jumping up and away from me. "God…asshole. You're the worst nurse ever. Stupid…ass." I found that I was suddenly ready to go back to sleep and I wasn't really all that mad at him…especially not when I saw him sitting there looking like a guilty five-year-old that had been caught doing something wrong. I guess he must have suddenly realized that he was trying to cram aspirin down my throat, and apparently he also realized how ridiculous it was.
"I'm…um…gonna get you some…um…some soup." He managed before racing out of the room. Great conflict resolution there. I swear, he was acting like such an idiot lately! I mean, I know that I wasn't exactly Mensa material, and especially ever since I'd realized I was in love with him, but you know what? I think that being in love gives you permission to be an idiot! He had no justification!
Or…did he? I mean…he did get all embarrassed when we were talking about the whole chest…binding issue. And then…it always seemed to go back to the rape kiss for me. Every time I considered how weird and off Spike had been of late, it all went back to that weird rape kiss in the hallway. And what if I'd let him do it? Would he have gone further? Was that his idea of love? Because to me, it seemed to be nothing more than some pent up sexual frustration and a healthy (or not so healthy) dosage of lust. But then…after that, he seemed so different. It was almost as if kissing me had reminded him of the fact that I was after all, a woman, and if he wanted to fall in love with one, I was right there, completely convenient. And then…the hug. God, that still had to be one of the happiest times of my life. I couldn't be positive, but you know, I was pretty sure that it ranked right up there.
So maybe…maybe Spike did love me. Or even just really really like me. And hell, that was good enough for me! I mean, I'd been satisfied with the formerly hopeless unrequited love situation, so this seemed perfectly grand to me. Now…if I could just stop being utterly terrified, maybe something could happen between us. Ever.
*****
The End (Of Part 5, That Is)