Chapter 7: Sabin's Scenario Part 2
Disclaimer: I bought many PC upgrades, but I should have bought these characters.
Note: I am actually not using the PS1 version of FF6 anymore. So some things may be SNES version specific. However I will continue to spell certain items right, e.g. Phoenix Down.
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Warrior: I am Cyan, retainer to King Doma. WTF??? My name has changed!
Soldier1: Don't worry, it's probably not permanent.
Soldier2: Um...aren't we supposed to attack him?
Warrior: I am so pissed I'll just attack you!
Soldier2: Yikes!
*Sabin walks up*
Sabin: I really should stay out of this...but here goes!
Sabin: I could attack from the back and have a great advantage, or be an idiot. Hmm... *walks in front of Cyan*
Cyan: What the fuck? *attacks Sabin by accident*
Sabin: I didn't mean to stand there. *walks in front of him again*
Cyan: Dumbass. *does it again*
Sabin: Okay, okay. What do I do?
Cyan: Talk to me from the side or behind.
Sabin: Okay. *talks to him* Hey I'll help you!
Cyan: Cool!
*Enter battle - Preemptive Attack*
Sabin: ??? There were only 2 outside battle!
Soldiers: Hahaha! This is an RPG, what do you expect?
Sabin: Hey! I can't control you!
Cyan: I'm kinda pissed so it's like I'm on berserk!
Sabin: Whatever
Cyan: *Attack - Soldier2*
Soldier2: *162 damage - dies*
Sabin: *Pummel - Soldier4*
Soldier4: *254 damage - dies*
Soldier1: *Attack - Sabin*
Sabin: *28 damage - 231 remaining*
Sabin: *Black Belt relic - counter - Soldier1*
Soldier1: *149 damage - dies*
Soldier3: *Attack - Sabin*
Sabin: *32 damage - 199 remaining*
Sabin: *Black Belt relic - counter - Soldier3*
Soldier3: *145 damage - dies*
*End battle*
Cyan: Crap there's more *they start fighting*
Rouge: I found 'em!
Eggman: Quickly, let's escape.
*The 2 of them escape, killing the soldiers Cyan was fighting*
Cyan: Well they were a help!
Cyan: Thanks for the help!
Sabin: Allow me to thank you!
Cyan: For what?
Sabin: Don't ask me.
Cyan: Okay, let's just go.
Sabin: Do you want to say goodbye to your home?
Cyan: Nah, hated it!
Soldiers: WAIT FOR US!!! WE NEED SEX!!!
Sabin: Holy shit! Wait, I know what to do! Walk inside me!
Cyan: Wah???
Sabin: Just do it.
*Cyan walks inside him and he runs to some Magitek armour*
Cyan: Woah! Kick ass!
Sabin: Yeah I know, now get your ass in there!
Cyan: CRAP!!! I CAN'T STOP!!! *runs over a lot of the soldiers*
Magitek Soldier: End of the line!
*Cyan rams into him, the soldiers armour smashes*
Soldier: YOU PRICK!!!
*Sabin flattens him*
Magitek Soldier: Who said anything about runn... *they run him over*
Sabin: Let's get out of the armour for no obvious reason.
Cyan: Whatever.
*They make their way to the Phantom Forest*
Sabin: Woo! This is a different style of 3D!
Cyan: Does it look like I give a shit?
Sabin: ...no.
*They continue*
Sabin: WTF I can't stop!
Voice: Recovery spring
Cyan: It's because it is not obvious that it is a recovery spring it shows you by forcing you to use it.
Sabin: Right!
Sabin: Hmm...there's an arrow sign in a forest called "Phantom Forest". Hmm...let's follow it!
*They follow the arrow signs to a train station*
Cyan: Let's hop on!
*They enter a door*
Sabin: *looks around*
Cyan: Well, there's no survivors, let's go!
Sabin: Don't you care about the people of Doma?
Cyan: I told you, no!
*Honking noise sounds*
Cyan: Sad Sabin!
Sabin: It wasn't me!
*Rattling sounds*
Sabin: It's moving!
Cyan: Let's get off!
Sabin: What do you know, a train this old has a safety on the door!
Cyan: This is the Phantom Train. It takes us to hell.
Sabin: You shit! Why didn't you tell me this earlier?
Cyan: MWAHAHAHA!!!!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!!!!!!
Sabin: WTF?
Cyan: *sweatdrop* Um...never mind.
*They walk into the cabin to the right*
Cyan: EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!! A GHOST!!!!!
Sabin: Yo!
Ghost: Yo! I'm shit at fighting but I can sacrifice myself to kick ass! Can I come with you!
Sabin: Sure!
*They enter the door*
Impresario: I manage this train. What the fuck do you want?
Voice:
(Tell us about the train.)
(How do we stop it?)
(Got any condoms?)
Sabin: Three!
Impresario: Yeah! They're at the front of the train!
Sabin: *Presses the switch in the room*
Cyan: Don't do that *switches it back*
Voice: ERROR WITH WINDOWS XP!!! NOT ENOUGH VIRTUAL MEMORY AVALIBLE!!! INCREASING PAGING FILE!!!
*The train goes faster*
Cyan: Oops *presses it again*
Sabin: No! You dick not again!
Voice: YOU NEED A PROCESSER UPGRADE DICK!!! ...POSESSING OWNER TO PURCHASE PENTIUM 4...UPGRADE COMPLETE!!!
*The train goes even faster*
Sabin: Let's just go!
*They leave and find another ghost*
Ghost2: Yo! I'm joining you!
Sabin: Hmm...I've got an idea *leaves then returns*
Ghost3: Sorry I can't join you!
Sabin: Why?
Ghost3: Rules. Party of 4 maximum.
Sabin: k...
*They walk through the carts using many ghosts and having more join*
Cyan: Crap! We're out of ghosts!
Sabin: Doesn't matter. They hog all the EXP anyway!
Sabin: WTF? This cart is a dead end! *talks to ghost at the entrance*
Ghost: No E.S.C.A.P.E
*Ente...
Sabin: What does that spell?
...r battle*
Sabin: *Pummel - Ghost*
Ghost: *273 damage - dies...I think*
*End battle*
*They leave the carriage*
Ghost: No E.S.C.A.P.E
Sabin: Screw this! *Climbs ladder*
Cyan: Looks like it's over.
Sabin: No, walk back inside me!
Cyan: Why?
Sabin: Just do it!
*Sabin walks back a bit and has an...er...walking jump across to the next carriage, then the next one, which gives way*
Sabin: Well I had a good run!
*They walk into the cart, and Sabin presses a switch labelled "Format C: y\n*
Voice: FORMATTING C: ................100%
Sabin: *goes outside* Hey we detached the train!
Ghost: You P.R.I.C.K.S!
Sabin: *goes inside* Hmm..switch is now labelled "Boot Linux from CD"! *presses it*
Voice: Welcome to Linux! Please stand clear of the doors as they open! *A passage opens*
Cyan: You have a lot of experience with computers Sabin!
Sabin: It is my duty to remove Windows off every machine!
*The train goes as fast as hell*
Cyan: Smart...real smart...
*They let another ghost join them and walk to a carriage with tables and chairs*
Sabin: *sits at the table* I'm going to ignore the fact that you are all ghosts and will probably serve me poison, GIVE ME FOOD!!!
Ghost: *walks to table and puts food down*
Cyan: *walks out of Sabin* Hey I need some too!
Sabin: Just go back inside me and you'll get the energy!
Cyan: Ok. *walks inside him*
Sabin: *eats*
Voice: Yo! You're healed, need I say more?
*They go inside the next carriage, then in a door and try to take the chest*
Zeigfried: I am Zeigfried, the world's greatest swordsman! That treasure chest is mine.
Sabin: First of all Cyan is the greatest swordsman.
Cyan: Secondly thieves are entitled to chests, not swordsmen.
*A yellow ball drops through the roof*
Sabin: This ball...it looks like...material! Sense material! *Sense*
Sabin: Cyan, you get the chest, I'll fight this guy one on one! He's only got 100HP!
Cyan: Now that is common SENSE! *lol*
*Enter battle*
Siegfried: What the fuck? It's an S in battle! I'm ZZZZZeigfried! *Attack - Sabin*
Sabin: *9 damage - 277 remaining*
Sabin: Dumbass! *Black Belt - Counter*
Siegfried: *166 damage - dies*
Sabin: What a bag of wind!
Sigfried: Imposs...WHY DOES MY NAME KEEP CHANGING????
Voice: Empty!
Cyan: What?
Sigfried: It's because you were never supposed to get that chest! *runs off*
*They make their way to the front of the train*
Ghost: Obviously I'd either be too much use or no use for the boss, so I'm going to leave. Cya!
Sabin: Cya!
Cyan: We'd better heal...
Sabin: Yeah. *uses a potion on each of them*
*They walk to the engineers cart*
Sabin: Hey something's written here, "To stop the train, shut the first and third pressure valves, and operate the switch outside, near the smoke stack". I didn't understand any of it. Did you?
Cyan: Nope.
Sabin: Screw this *logs onto gamefaqs.com*
Sabin: Ah! Press switches 1 and 3! *presses them*
Sabin: *leaves* Now we use the action button on the smoke stack! *reads it* "Press this switch and the train will stop" *presses it*
Phantom Train: So! You uninstalled Windows and gave me Linux! Thanks! But I know you want to kick my ass!
*Enter battle*
Sabin: *Sense* GhostTrain - 1900HP 350 MP
GhostTrain: Just what we need. Another name change! *Attack - Cyan*
Cyan: *23 damage - 261 remaining*
Sabin: *Suplex - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: *407 damage - 1493 remaining*
Cyan: *Slash - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: *746 damage - 747 remaining*
GhostTrain: *Acid Rain*
Sabin: *121 damage - 168 remaining - Seizure*
Cyan: *124 damage - 137 remaining - Seizure*
Sabin: *Suplex - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: *386 damage - 361 remaining*
GhostTrain: *Wheel - Sabin*
Sabin: *37 damage - 131 remaining*
Sabin: *Seizure - 6 damage - 125 remaining*
Cyan: *Seizure - 5 damage - 132 remaining*
GhostTrain: *Attack - Sabin*
Sabin: *19 damage - 106 remaining*
Sabin: *Seizure - 6 damage - 100 remaining*
Sabin: *Black Belt - Counter - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: *92 damage - 269 remaining*
GhostTrain: *Attack - Cyan*
Cyan: *23 damage - 109 remaining*
Cyan: *Seizure - 5 damage - 104 remaining*
Cyan: End of the line *Dispatch - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: *268 damage - 1 remaining*
Cyan: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!
GhostTrain: HAHAHA!!! I CANNOT DIE!!! *Wheel - Cyan*
Cyan: *45 damage - 59 remaining*
Sabin: *Seizure - 6 damage - 94 remaining*
Cyan: *Seizure - 5 damage - 54 remaining*
Sabin: Finally! *Attack - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: Aw crap *dies*
*End battle*
Phantom Train: Just leave you pricks!
*The train stops and they get off it*
Cyan: What the...
*Cyan sees dead people (who look perfectly alive) go on the train, including his wife and kid*
Cyan: No!! Elayne! Owain!!!
*The train honks as it's about to depart*
Cyan: *running towards train* Elayne!!! I need that condom!!!
Elayne: Here *throws condom*
Cyan: Owain!!! I gave you 5000GP the day before you died!
Owain: Tough shit old man. This is mine!
*The train leaves, and Cyan looks down at the edge of the platform*
Sabin: *talks to Cyan*
Cyan: ......
Sabin: Hmm...maybe I have to do it another 2 times. *talks to Cyan*
Cyan: ......
Sabin: *talks to Cyan*
Cyan: ......
Sabin: Weird. *starts to walk around*
Sabin: I can't leave. What am I supposed to do?
*The screen fades and Sabin appears on the world map*
Sabin: Ah!!! Must be a time trigger event!
--------------------------------------------------
I thought I could do this in 2 chapters, but I was wrong. Part 3 will be up soon. Please read (which I assume you have already done) and review.
Disclaimer: I bought many PC upgrades, but I should have bought these characters.
Note: I am actually not using the PS1 version of FF6 anymore. So some things may be SNES version specific. However I will continue to spell certain items right, e.g. Phoenix Down.
--------------------------------------------------
Warrior: I am Cyan, retainer to King Doma. WTF??? My name has changed!
Soldier1: Don't worry, it's probably not permanent.
Soldier2: Um...aren't we supposed to attack him?
Warrior: I am so pissed I'll just attack you!
Soldier2: Yikes!
*Sabin walks up*
Sabin: I really should stay out of this...but here goes!
Sabin: I could attack from the back and have a great advantage, or be an idiot. Hmm... *walks in front of Cyan*
Cyan: What the fuck? *attacks Sabin by accident*
Sabin: I didn't mean to stand there. *walks in front of him again*
Cyan: Dumbass. *does it again*
Sabin: Okay, okay. What do I do?
Cyan: Talk to me from the side or behind.
Sabin: Okay. *talks to him* Hey I'll help you!
Cyan: Cool!
*Enter battle - Preemptive Attack*
Sabin: ??? There were only 2 outside battle!
Soldiers: Hahaha! This is an RPG, what do you expect?
Sabin: Hey! I can't control you!
Cyan: I'm kinda pissed so it's like I'm on berserk!
Sabin: Whatever
Cyan: *Attack - Soldier2*
Soldier2: *162 damage - dies*
Sabin: *Pummel - Soldier4*
Soldier4: *254 damage - dies*
Soldier1: *Attack - Sabin*
Sabin: *28 damage - 231 remaining*
Sabin: *Black Belt relic - counter - Soldier1*
Soldier1: *149 damage - dies*
Soldier3: *Attack - Sabin*
Sabin: *32 damage - 199 remaining*
Sabin: *Black Belt relic - counter - Soldier3*
Soldier3: *145 damage - dies*
*End battle*
Cyan: Crap there's more *they start fighting*
Rouge: I found 'em!
Eggman: Quickly, let's escape.
*The 2 of them escape, killing the soldiers Cyan was fighting*
Cyan: Well they were a help!
Cyan: Thanks for the help!
Sabin: Allow me to thank you!
Cyan: For what?
Sabin: Don't ask me.
Cyan: Okay, let's just go.
Sabin: Do you want to say goodbye to your home?
Cyan: Nah, hated it!
Soldiers: WAIT FOR US!!! WE NEED SEX!!!
Sabin: Holy shit! Wait, I know what to do! Walk inside me!
Cyan: Wah???
Sabin: Just do it.
*Cyan walks inside him and he runs to some Magitek armour*
Cyan: Woah! Kick ass!
Sabin: Yeah I know, now get your ass in there!
Cyan: CRAP!!! I CAN'T STOP!!! *runs over a lot of the soldiers*
Magitek Soldier: End of the line!
*Cyan rams into him, the soldiers armour smashes*
Soldier: YOU PRICK!!!
*Sabin flattens him*
Magitek Soldier: Who said anything about runn... *they run him over*
Sabin: Let's get out of the armour for no obvious reason.
Cyan: Whatever.
*They make their way to the Phantom Forest*
Sabin: Woo! This is a different style of 3D!
Cyan: Does it look like I give a shit?
Sabin: ...no.
*They continue*
Sabin: WTF I can't stop!
Voice: Recovery spring
Cyan: It's because it is not obvious that it is a recovery spring it shows you by forcing you to use it.
Sabin: Right!
Sabin: Hmm...there's an arrow sign in a forest called "Phantom Forest". Hmm...let's follow it!
*They follow the arrow signs to a train station*
Cyan: Let's hop on!
*They enter a door*
Sabin: *looks around*
Cyan: Well, there's no survivors, let's go!
Sabin: Don't you care about the people of Doma?
Cyan: I told you, no!
*Honking noise sounds*
Cyan: Sad Sabin!
Sabin: It wasn't me!
*Rattling sounds*
Sabin: It's moving!
Cyan: Let's get off!
Sabin: What do you know, a train this old has a safety on the door!
Cyan: This is the Phantom Train. It takes us to hell.
Sabin: You shit! Why didn't you tell me this earlier?
Cyan: MWAHAHAHA!!!!!!! YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!!!!!!
Sabin: WTF?
Cyan: *sweatdrop* Um...never mind.
*They walk into the cabin to the right*
Cyan: EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!! A GHOST!!!!!
Sabin: Yo!
Ghost: Yo! I'm shit at fighting but I can sacrifice myself to kick ass! Can I come with you!
Sabin: Sure!
*They enter the door*
Impresario: I manage this train. What the fuck do you want?
Voice:
(Tell us about the train.)
(How do we stop it?)
(Got any condoms?)
Sabin: Three!
Impresario: Yeah! They're at the front of the train!
Sabin: *Presses the switch in the room*
Cyan: Don't do that *switches it back*
Voice: ERROR WITH WINDOWS XP!!! NOT ENOUGH VIRTUAL MEMORY AVALIBLE!!! INCREASING PAGING FILE!!!
*The train goes faster*
Cyan: Oops *presses it again*
Sabin: No! You dick not again!
Voice: YOU NEED A PROCESSER UPGRADE DICK!!! ...POSESSING OWNER TO PURCHASE PENTIUM 4...UPGRADE COMPLETE!!!
*The train goes even faster*
Sabin: Let's just go!
*They leave and find another ghost*
Ghost2: Yo! I'm joining you!
Sabin: Hmm...I've got an idea *leaves then returns*
Ghost3: Sorry I can't join you!
Sabin: Why?
Ghost3: Rules. Party of 4 maximum.
Sabin: k...
*They walk through the carts using many ghosts and having more join*
Cyan: Crap! We're out of ghosts!
Sabin: Doesn't matter. They hog all the EXP anyway!
Sabin: WTF? This cart is a dead end! *talks to ghost at the entrance*
Ghost: No E.S.C.A.P.E
*Ente...
Sabin: What does that spell?
...r battle*
Sabin: *Pummel - Ghost*
Ghost: *273 damage - dies...I think*
*End battle*
*They leave the carriage*
Ghost: No E.S.C.A.P.E
Sabin: Screw this! *Climbs ladder*
Cyan: Looks like it's over.
Sabin: No, walk back inside me!
Cyan: Why?
Sabin: Just do it!
*Sabin walks back a bit and has an...er...walking jump across to the next carriage, then the next one, which gives way*
Sabin: Well I had a good run!
*They walk into the cart, and Sabin presses a switch labelled "Format C: y\n*
Voice: FORMATTING C: ................100%
Sabin: *goes outside* Hey we detached the train!
Ghost: You P.R.I.C.K.S!
Sabin: *goes inside* Hmm..switch is now labelled "Boot Linux from CD"! *presses it*
Voice: Welcome to Linux! Please stand clear of the doors as they open! *A passage opens*
Cyan: You have a lot of experience with computers Sabin!
Sabin: It is my duty to remove Windows off every machine!
*The train goes as fast as hell*
Cyan: Smart...real smart...
*They let another ghost join them and walk to a carriage with tables and chairs*
Sabin: *sits at the table* I'm going to ignore the fact that you are all ghosts and will probably serve me poison, GIVE ME FOOD!!!
Ghost: *walks to table and puts food down*
Cyan: *walks out of Sabin* Hey I need some too!
Sabin: Just go back inside me and you'll get the energy!
Cyan: Ok. *walks inside him*
Sabin: *eats*
Voice: Yo! You're healed, need I say more?
*They go inside the next carriage, then in a door and try to take the chest*
Zeigfried: I am Zeigfried, the world's greatest swordsman! That treasure chest is mine.
Sabin: First of all Cyan is the greatest swordsman.
Cyan: Secondly thieves are entitled to chests, not swordsmen.
*A yellow ball drops through the roof*
Sabin: This ball...it looks like...material! Sense material! *Sense*
Sabin: Cyan, you get the chest, I'll fight this guy one on one! He's only got 100HP!
Cyan: Now that is common SENSE! *lol*
*Enter battle*
Siegfried: What the fuck? It's an S in battle! I'm ZZZZZeigfried! *Attack - Sabin*
Sabin: *9 damage - 277 remaining*
Sabin: Dumbass! *Black Belt - Counter*
Siegfried: *166 damage - dies*
Sabin: What a bag of wind!
Sigfried: Imposs...WHY DOES MY NAME KEEP CHANGING????
Voice: Empty!
Cyan: What?
Sigfried: It's because you were never supposed to get that chest! *runs off*
*They make their way to the front of the train*
Ghost: Obviously I'd either be too much use or no use for the boss, so I'm going to leave. Cya!
Sabin: Cya!
Cyan: We'd better heal...
Sabin: Yeah. *uses a potion on each of them*
*They walk to the engineers cart*
Sabin: Hey something's written here, "To stop the train, shut the first and third pressure valves, and operate the switch outside, near the smoke stack". I didn't understand any of it. Did you?
Cyan: Nope.
Sabin: Screw this *logs onto gamefaqs.com*
Sabin: Ah! Press switches 1 and 3! *presses them*
Sabin: *leaves* Now we use the action button on the smoke stack! *reads it* "Press this switch and the train will stop" *presses it*
Phantom Train: So! You uninstalled Windows and gave me Linux! Thanks! But I know you want to kick my ass!
*Enter battle*
Sabin: *Sense* GhostTrain - 1900HP 350 MP
GhostTrain: Just what we need. Another name change! *Attack - Cyan*
Cyan: *23 damage - 261 remaining*
Sabin: *Suplex - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: *407 damage - 1493 remaining*
Cyan: *Slash - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: *746 damage - 747 remaining*
GhostTrain: *Acid Rain*
Sabin: *121 damage - 168 remaining - Seizure*
Cyan: *124 damage - 137 remaining - Seizure*
Sabin: *Suplex - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: *386 damage - 361 remaining*
GhostTrain: *Wheel - Sabin*
Sabin: *37 damage - 131 remaining*
Sabin: *Seizure - 6 damage - 125 remaining*
Cyan: *Seizure - 5 damage - 132 remaining*
GhostTrain: *Attack - Sabin*
Sabin: *19 damage - 106 remaining*
Sabin: *Seizure - 6 damage - 100 remaining*
Sabin: *Black Belt - Counter - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: *92 damage - 269 remaining*
GhostTrain: *Attack - Cyan*
Cyan: *23 damage - 109 remaining*
Cyan: *Seizure - 5 damage - 104 remaining*
Cyan: End of the line *Dispatch - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: *268 damage - 1 remaining*
Cyan: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!
GhostTrain: HAHAHA!!! I CANNOT DIE!!! *Wheel - Cyan*
Cyan: *45 damage - 59 remaining*
Sabin: *Seizure - 6 damage - 94 remaining*
Cyan: *Seizure - 5 damage - 54 remaining*
Sabin: Finally! *Attack - GhostTrain*
GhostTrain: Aw crap *dies*
*End battle*
Phantom Train: Just leave you pricks!
*The train stops and they get off it*
Cyan: What the...
*Cyan sees dead people (who look perfectly alive) go on the train, including his wife and kid*
Cyan: No!! Elayne! Owain!!!
*The train honks as it's about to depart*
Cyan: *running towards train* Elayne!!! I need that condom!!!
Elayne: Here *throws condom*
Cyan: Owain!!! I gave you 5000GP the day before you died!
Owain: Tough shit old man. This is mine!
*The train leaves, and Cyan looks down at the edge of the platform*
Sabin: *talks to Cyan*
Cyan: ......
Sabin: Hmm...maybe I have to do it another 2 times. *talks to Cyan*
Cyan: ......
Sabin: *talks to Cyan*
Cyan: ......
Sabin: Weird. *starts to walk around*
Sabin: I can't leave. What am I supposed to do?
*The screen fades and Sabin appears on the world map*
Sabin: Ah!!! Must be a time trigger event!
--------------------------------------------------
I thought I could do this in 2 chapters, but I was wrong. Part 3 will be up soon. Please read (which I assume you have already done) and review.