Chapter 9: Locke's Scenario
Disclaimer: I am the world's ultimate lifeform...but I don't own these characters.
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Mog: Choose a scenario...kupo!
Mog: *chooses Locke* Locke is trying to kick ass in South Figaro. Erm...I don't suppose he knows how hard it is to kick magitek armour's ass?
Fangirls: LOCKE!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!
*Locke escapes the fan girls*
Locke: Woah! I need some condoms, fast!
Voice: Your supposed to be kicking ass, not fucking ass.
Locke: Ah crap.
*Locke walks into a shop*
Locke Yo!
Merchant: Yo!
Locke: Now we fight!
*Enter battle*
Locke: *Steal - Merchant*
Merchant: *Stole condom x 10*
*Stole his clothing too*
Locke: Thanks!
Merchant: Anytime.
*End battle*
*Locke goes outside and into someone's house*
Locke: *Talks to man*
Man: Cidercidercidercidercidercider...
Locke: Hmm....plot development!
Locke: *Goes downstairs and talks to the boy*
Boy: Yo! I'm dumb enough to only let merchants through here, but also only check the clothes!
Locke: Cool! *goes through*
*Locke goes to the relic shop*
Locke: YES!!! SPRINT SHOES!!! *runs through the inn to the basement*
Locke: Just because I'm not a thief doesn't stop me from stealing your cider.
*Enter battle*
Merchant: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *5 damage - 139 remaining*
Locke: *Steal - Merchant*
Merchant: Ah fuck *runs off*
*End battle*
Locke: *gets cider* "That was easy!"
Tails: Bastard!
Locke: Ah screw you!
Tails: *Runs away crying*
*Locke makes it back to the cider-freak*
Locke: I give you cider for info!
Man: I'm just going to tell you where a secret passage that I'm not supposed to tell you about is.
Locke: Sweet!
Man: The password is...um I forget!
Locke: Fuck!
*walks down to the boy*
Boy: The password is
(Pussy)
(Cider)
(Comdom)
Locke: Multiple choice...hmm..cider!
Boy: CONGRATULATIONS!!!! YOU WIN erm.....THE SECRET PASSAGE!!!
Locke: Woo!
*Locke takes the secret passage*
Locke: Woah! How did I just appear over here? *walks into the house*
Locke: Hmm... *starts feeling the walls all over the house* Ahah! Found it! *walks down the stairs*
Voice:
(Change clothes?)
(These are fine.)
Locke: Change!
*He changes into an incredibly sexy suit*
Locke: Man I'm so sexy *walks up to door*
Locke: WOAH!!!!!!!!!
*Inside*
Guard: *Fucking the girl from behind* Oh yeah THAT IS SO FUCKING GOOD!!!!
Voice: Product of genetic engineering - so no you don't get normal girls this good.
Girl: *names herself Celes*
Guard: So the might Celes has been fucked!
Other Guard: *coming to his senses* Dude, you just fucked something made in a factory!
Guard: ARGH!!! *runs off*
Other Guard: I'm going to sleep.
Locke: Weird *walks in*
Voice:
(Remove her chains?)
(Wait a few minutes.)
Locke: Hmm...plot advancement or free sex.........*Removes her chains*
Celes: Who are you sexy thing?
Locke: I'm Edgar, king of Figaro, master of the chainsaws.
Locke & Celes: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Locke: I'm Locke, and I kick ass.
Celes: I'm sure you do, let's get going.
*They make their way through the house to find a broken clock*
Celes: Let's see some of your manhood, hehe.
Locke: *blushes* Um...sure *winds clock with his dick*
*A cabinet moves to reveal a door*
Locke: Woah! That's amazing technology.
Celes: Nah, it's just an action-trigger event.
*They continue*
Celes: By the way, why are you helping me?
Locke: "You don't need a reason to help people"
Zidane: CAN YOU SAY AN ORIGINAL LINE????
*They leave the town and head for a cave*
Locke: What's that faint beeping sound?
Celes: Dunno.
*They make it through the cave*
*Loud rumbling noise*
Celes: Sick!
Locke: WTF??
Celes: Oh, it's okay it's not you just some monster coming out of the wall.
*Enter battle*
Celes: I'm going to tell you how to use runic even though I'm the one who uses it.
Locke: Okay.
TunnelArmr: Tough shit! *gets ready to attack*
Celes: *Runic*
TunnelArmr: Ah fuck! *Bolt*
Celes: *Runic - 6MP restored*
Locke: Cool *attack - TunnelArmr*
TunnelArmr: *109 damage - 1191 remaining - Counter - Locke*
Locke: *48 damage - 201 remaining*
Celes: *Runic*
TunnelArmr: *Poison*
Celes: *Runic - 3MP restored*
Locke: *Attack - TunnelArmr*
TunnelArmr: *110 damage - 1081 remaining - Counter - Locke*
Locke: *50 damage - 151 remaining*
Celes: *Runic*
TunnelArmr: *Fire*
Celes: *Runic - 4MP restored*
Locke: *Attack - TunnelArmr*
TunnelArmr: *121 damage - 960 remaining - Counter - Locke*
Locke: *46 damage - 105 remaining*
Celes: *Runic*
TunnelArmr: *Fire*
Celes: *Runic - 4MP restored*
Locke: *Attack - TunnelArmr*
TunnelArmr: *115 damage - 845 remaining - Counter - Locke*
Locke: *97 damage - 8 remaining*
Celes: *Runic*
Locke: Wha? Heal me bitch!
Celes: No!
TunnelArmr: *Tek Laser*
Celes: *Runic - 20MP restored*
Locke: *Mirager - TunnelArmr*
TunnelArmr: WHA???? *1812 damage - dies*
Locke: It must have been a critical attack!
Celes: *drooling at Locke* Cool!
*End battle*
TunnelArmr: So what? My next service is in 3 days! I can wait!
*The beeping grows louder, and beeps faster*
Knuckles: It's gotta be close! *Maximum heat Knuckles attack*
TunnelArmr: BASTARD!!! *gets smashed to pieces*
Knuckles: I found 'em! *Does finishing pose and gets a rank A* Yeah! I feel good!
Locke: k...
Celes: Well let's head to the next inn...
Locke: Oh yeah! I got 10 condoms!!!
Celes: *slaps Locke* I meant because your on 8 HP!
Locke: *KOd*
Celes: Shit! I was just kidding, DON'T DIE!!!! *gives him a kiss of life*
Locke: *All HP recovered and all status changes removed including KO*
Locke: Woah! I'm okay.
Celes: Miracles happen, let's fuck.
Locke: k...
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Sorry about the short chapter and sorry about the lack of updates. I just went away from home again and forgot to say. School starts for me on September the 2nd so updates may cease. I will try to do a chapter at least every month though. Please review.
By the way the beeping was Knuckles' emerald radar.
Disclaimer: I am the world's ultimate lifeform...but I don't own these characters.
--------------------------------------------------
Mog: Choose a scenario...kupo!
Mog: *chooses Locke* Locke is trying to kick ass in South Figaro. Erm...I don't suppose he knows how hard it is to kick magitek armour's ass?
Fangirls: LOCKE!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!
*Locke escapes the fan girls*
Locke: Woah! I need some condoms, fast!
Voice: Your supposed to be kicking ass, not fucking ass.
Locke: Ah crap.
*Locke walks into a shop*
Locke Yo!
Merchant: Yo!
Locke: Now we fight!
*Enter battle*
Locke: *Steal - Merchant*
Merchant: *Stole condom x 10*
*Stole his clothing too*
Locke: Thanks!
Merchant: Anytime.
*End battle*
*Locke goes outside and into someone's house*
Locke: *Talks to man*
Man: Cidercidercidercidercidercider...
Locke: Hmm....plot development!
Locke: *Goes downstairs and talks to the boy*
Boy: Yo! I'm dumb enough to only let merchants through here, but also only check the clothes!
Locke: Cool! *goes through*
*Locke goes to the relic shop*
Locke: YES!!! SPRINT SHOES!!! *runs through the inn to the basement*
Locke: Just because I'm not a thief doesn't stop me from stealing your cider.
*Enter battle*
Merchant: *Attack - Locke*
Locke: *5 damage - 139 remaining*
Locke: *Steal - Merchant*
Merchant: Ah fuck *runs off*
*End battle*
Locke: *gets cider* "That was easy!"
Tails: Bastard!
Locke: Ah screw you!
Tails: *Runs away crying*
*Locke makes it back to the cider-freak*
Locke: I give you cider for info!
Man: I'm just going to tell you where a secret passage that I'm not supposed to tell you about is.
Locke: Sweet!
Man: The password is...um I forget!
Locke: Fuck!
*walks down to the boy*
Boy: The password is
(Pussy)
(Cider)
(Comdom)
Locke: Multiple choice...hmm..cider!
Boy: CONGRATULATIONS!!!! YOU WIN erm.....THE SECRET PASSAGE!!!
Locke: Woo!
*Locke takes the secret passage*
Locke: Woah! How did I just appear over here? *walks into the house*
Locke: Hmm... *starts feeling the walls all over the house* Ahah! Found it! *walks down the stairs*
Voice:
(Change clothes?)
(These are fine.)
Locke: Change!
*He changes into an incredibly sexy suit*
Locke: Man I'm so sexy *walks up to door*
Locke: WOAH!!!!!!!!!
*Inside*
Guard: *Fucking the girl from behind* Oh yeah THAT IS SO FUCKING GOOD!!!!
Voice: Product of genetic engineering - so no you don't get normal girls this good.
Girl: *names herself Celes*
Guard: So the might Celes has been fucked!
Other Guard: *coming to his senses* Dude, you just fucked something made in a factory!
Guard: ARGH!!! *runs off*
Other Guard: I'm going to sleep.
Locke: Weird *walks in*
Voice:
(Remove her chains?)
(Wait a few minutes.)
Locke: Hmm...plot advancement or free sex.........*Removes her chains*
Celes: Who are you sexy thing?
Locke: I'm Edgar, king of Figaro, master of the chainsaws.
Locke & Celes: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Locke: I'm Locke, and I kick ass.
Celes: I'm sure you do, let's get going.
*They make their way through the house to find a broken clock*
Celes: Let's see some of your manhood, hehe.
Locke: *blushes* Um...sure *winds clock with his dick*
*A cabinet moves to reveal a door*
Locke: Woah! That's amazing technology.
Celes: Nah, it's just an action-trigger event.
*They continue*
Celes: By the way, why are you helping me?
Locke: "You don't need a reason to help people"
Zidane: CAN YOU SAY AN ORIGINAL LINE????
*They leave the town and head for a cave*
Locke: What's that faint beeping sound?
Celes: Dunno.
*They make it through the cave*
*Loud rumbling noise*
Celes: Sick!
Locke: WTF??
Celes: Oh, it's okay it's not you just some monster coming out of the wall.
*Enter battle*
Celes: I'm going to tell you how to use runic even though I'm the one who uses it.
Locke: Okay.
TunnelArmr: Tough shit! *gets ready to attack*
Celes: *Runic*
TunnelArmr: Ah fuck! *Bolt*
Celes: *Runic - 6MP restored*
Locke: Cool *attack - TunnelArmr*
TunnelArmr: *109 damage - 1191 remaining - Counter - Locke*
Locke: *48 damage - 201 remaining*
Celes: *Runic*
TunnelArmr: *Poison*
Celes: *Runic - 3MP restored*
Locke: *Attack - TunnelArmr*
TunnelArmr: *110 damage - 1081 remaining - Counter - Locke*
Locke: *50 damage - 151 remaining*
Celes: *Runic*
TunnelArmr: *Fire*
Celes: *Runic - 4MP restored*
Locke: *Attack - TunnelArmr*
TunnelArmr: *121 damage - 960 remaining - Counter - Locke*
Locke: *46 damage - 105 remaining*
Celes: *Runic*
TunnelArmr: *Fire*
Celes: *Runic - 4MP restored*
Locke: *Attack - TunnelArmr*
TunnelArmr: *115 damage - 845 remaining - Counter - Locke*
Locke: *97 damage - 8 remaining*
Celes: *Runic*
Locke: Wha? Heal me bitch!
Celes: No!
TunnelArmr: *Tek Laser*
Celes: *Runic - 20MP restored*
Locke: *Mirager - TunnelArmr*
TunnelArmr: WHA???? *1812 damage - dies*
Locke: It must have been a critical attack!
Celes: *drooling at Locke* Cool!
*End battle*
TunnelArmr: So what? My next service is in 3 days! I can wait!
*The beeping grows louder, and beeps faster*
Knuckles: It's gotta be close! *Maximum heat Knuckles attack*
TunnelArmr: BASTARD!!! *gets smashed to pieces*
Knuckles: I found 'em! *Does finishing pose and gets a rank A* Yeah! I feel good!
Locke: k...
Celes: Well let's head to the next inn...
Locke: Oh yeah! I got 10 condoms!!!
Celes: *slaps Locke* I meant because your on 8 HP!
Locke: *KOd*
Celes: Shit! I was just kidding, DON'T DIE!!!! *gives him a kiss of life*
Locke: *All HP recovered and all status changes removed including KO*
Locke: Woah! I'm okay.
Celes: Miracles happen, let's fuck.
Locke: k...
--------------------------------------------------
Sorry about the short chapter and sorry about the lack of updates. I just went away from home again and forgot to say. School starts for me on September the 2nd so updates may cease. I will try to do a chapter at least every month though. Please review.
By the way the beeping was Knuckles' emerald radar.