Over the next few days, Mr. Morimoto became very thankful to have the Kyoto
folk with them. Megumi would have been intolerable otherwise. Mr.
Morimoto had promised that he would allow her to consult on the more
difficult medical cases that walked into the clinic, but Morimoto-san was
so capable, she rarely was called upon.
Her day was largely left open. After her morning walks either around the clinic or to shops close to the clinic, she would look through the Western medical texts that had been sent from Tokyo or amuse herself with reading aloud from Obaasan's book. But both efforts grew rather tiresome. (The translation was difficult and when it came to proverbs, despite all her efforts, Aoshi still far surpassed her.)
In between her periods of rest, Megumi would constantly poke her head into the clinic and look for something to do.
It was clear Megumi needed something to occupy herself with her time. Morimoto kindly suggested that she look to doing the inventory of herbs and undertaking the task of refilling what was needed. Megumi, delighted to have something important to do, dragged Aoshi and Obaasan into her little project and they learned more than they had ever set out to with respect to various medicines and herbs. Soon her preoccupation with refilling her stores became the excuse to test her growing strength and take several short rides out in search of the plants, flowers and herbs that were native to Aizu.
By then, it had been two weeks since they had returned to Aizu. They had waited for a warm, sunny day in which to try to find their treasures. It was the only way to pacify Mr. Morimoto, who in the end had stayed behind at the quiet clinic, insisting he was going to catch up on his reading, but most likely was taking a nap.
Obaasan and Mrs. Morimoto walked ahead happily chattering about something, while Aoshi held the reins to the horse that Megumi sat on. She was unusually quiet, lost in some thought, Aoshi supposed.
"I haven't been to some of these forests for a long time," she said finally, forcing some cheer into her voice. "In the old days, Father used to close the clinic and bring us here, sometimes also with mother. Sometimes we'd say we were looking for something to use for medicine, sometimes we were really just trying to explore the countryside."
She stared ahead. "One night Mother woke me up and sent me out for some kind of mushroom that grew only in these shady areas. When I came back, everyone had been taken away. Shortly after, I apprenticed myself, and the rest . . . " she stopped awkwardly. The subject of Kanryuu Takeda was still one that hung between them not discussed. "I haven't been this way since I left Kanryuu," she continued softly. "This road eventually goes quite close to his former estate."
So that was the explanation for her silence. That night had been a turning point for both of them. She had been saved and given a new life while he had gone mad.
"This road is simply a road," Aoshi answered back. While he still sorely felt the loss of his four clansmen and deeply regretted the course his life took after that point, he refused to allow that memory to hold him back from going in this direction.
"I know," she answered a bit reluctantly. "I should be glad with how things turned out. But - your men, what happened to you afterwards. I can't be glad, even though at the time I hated all of you. Just as much as I hated myself--"
"If you had succeeded, you'd be dead."
She shook her head, "I had already decided then that to be my only choice."'
"My men chose what they did, even though it meant dying at the hands of that bastard. They did what they did so I might live. When I manage to live one more day, I am living to honor their sacrifice, just as you live to save lives, Megumi-san."
His words gave her something to ponder. He was completely at peace with all that had happened, yet she had not been even up to that point. How she envied that peace, that contentment. Despite all the good that she had done, she still felt as if she was missing something in her life, and it was not something she understood.
As the party of four continued on that afternoon and picked plants, seeds, flowers, and herbs to their hearts' content, that thought dogged her the rest of the day.
~~~~
The next morning, without warning, Aoshi had simply disappeared.
"Tokyo," Obaasan had replied when asked. "Business."
Megumi spent the morning feeling rather guilty. While time had drawn itself out here in the quietness of her home, the real world had its own demands that could not be ignored. She could afford the luxury of an afternoon picking flowers, while that afternoon had likely endangered some critical deal.
However, that guilt turned into something else when some of her patients commented on his absence. The nosier ones asked when he was coming back.
"I don't know," Megumi was bandaging the hand of one of her neighbors, "I think he had business to tend to and will likely be gone for a long time."
"Oh." The woman seemed almost disappointed. "He's been here so long that I just assumed."
Megumi bit her lip in order to avoid scolding the woman. After all, the poor woman had burned her hand and there was no need to add to her misery by giving her a severe tongue-lashing about gossiping. It was hardly appropriate to even speculate as such!
"You assumed something which is not true," she calmly answered. "He felt he owed a debt to me for my help in Kyoto and is fulfilling his obligation."
"Forgive me, doctor." The woman smiled, "You know how we married women are --"
She pasted a smile on her face and nodded, "Of course."
That was not the first conversation she had with her well meaning neighbors. Several days passed before word came that he would be returning with something from Tokyo. By then, Megumi had enough of the innocuous questions from all the people she had run into asking about the tall gentleman from Kyoto. It was highly unusual, perhaps scandalous for him -- an unmarried man -- to be there, even with Obaasan present as well. But even more so, the idea that they were together was ridiculous. After all, she was a woman with a shadowy past. She was not the young innocent like Kaoru, or even Misao, that men like Shinomori or Himura would much prefer.
She resolved then to put an end to all this. Her resolve did not soften even as he returned and presented her with a western-style chair for her sitting that he had brought back from Tokyo per Mrs. Morimoto and Obaasan's request.
After the three of them had eaten a largely quiet dinner, in which Obaasan kept up most of the conversation, Obaasan excused herself to meditate. Megumi went to her herb garden and sat on the chair drinking her daily dose of the tea that was supposed to strengthen her.
When she had finished, he silently handed her a letter. "From the Himuras."
"Ah," she smiled, "so you did see them. I wondered about whether you would go the dojo."
"Without Misao?" He completed her question for her. "It is partly because of her that I did go. And for other reasons."
She opened the letter then and recognized Kaoru's confident brushstrokes.
We're glad to hear that you are well. Admittedly, when we heard from
Aoshi-san earlier, we were very concerned. Kenshin had wanted to go
help look for you, but the Aoiya was doing its best and so Kenshin
allowed Aoshi to go his own way. . .
. . . Sanosuke is well. We have had another letter from him, and as
usual, he sounds as if he's having fun, which means he's likely
fighting his way through Mongolia. That chicken-head. . . .
. . . Aoshi-san mentioned that your recovery will be quick now. I
can imagine you are anxious to get back to your regular life. We
look forward to that, as we would like to be able to invite you to the
cherry blossom festival in the spring if you are up for it. Until
then, Kaoru.
She looked up from her letter at the messenger. Aoshi was standing silently next to her, leaning against a wall and contemplating the night stars that were starting to ascend the sky. The novelty of sharing a moment like that with him reminded her that she was keeping him and Obaasan from returning to their 'regular life.'
"Aoshi-san," Megumi broke the companionable silence. "Obaasan doesn't seem so happy does she?"
"Obaasan?"
"Today at dinner she sounded as if she missed Kyoto. I am well enough now that I do not need very much help."
"Obaasan doesn't mind waiting another week. We discussed it earlier when you were sleeping."
"Aoshi-"
"Both Obaasan and I are willing to help you more, Megumi-san. And the Aoiya does not mind our absence as it is our fault for your illness."
"The Aoiya is not to blame for the things I chose to do after I left Kyoto, Aoshi-san. I chose to help those people like I chose to help you and your clan. I chose it alone. I don't think you need to let that guilt keep you here when I am and will be fine." She wondered why she sounded so irritated. "I mean," she added more softly, "Your duty is done. I still tire easily, but I can manage many things on my own."
"I see," he answered thoughtfully. "I guess then Obaasan's caution was unnecessary. I'll go tell Obaasan now that we will leave tomorrow night."
He left without a backward glance. Megumi did not know why his easy answer bothered her, but she accepted it.
Obaasan came to see her a short time later with teapot in hand. "More tea, Megumi-san?"
"Yes, please." She smiled. "I do not think I need it, but I'm rather accustomed to it now."
"Yes you are stronger." Obaasan answered. "Aoshi-san mentioned that."
"I do not know the full extent of what Aoshi-san said to you Obaasan, but I mean not to be rude. It's just that I'm almost completely well and the both of you have taken too much time already to help me."
"Aoshi-san told you though that we are willing to stay?"
"Yes, of course," she spoke softly. "It has nothing to do with the two of you, really."
"Oh?"
"Since the time we left Kyoto, you two have been very good to me. I can honestly say that this time of recovery has been enjoyable despite my illness." Megumi paused, a sad look passing over her face, "But like that time with the Takehimas--."
"Takehimas--" Obaasan placed her hand gently on Megumi's head. In what way, Megumi-san?"
Something sad passed across Megumi's face then, but was gone just as quickly, to be replaced by a cheery expression, "Never mind me. I really am better, and I can manage on my own."
Obaasan wanted to ask more, but she felt it had something to do with Aoshi and Megumi's conversation. It was not a matter that she could help with. "Will you be coming in soon, Megumi?"
"In another moment or so," she smiled. "Let me enjoy the night sky a little longer."
Megumi had not dared tell either of them what she had been thinking in her head. The Takehimas had offered her something more than she had up that point - a feeling of belonging somewhere, of being wanted for more than just her skills as a doctor. But, she suddenly feared that like with all things truly treasured in her life, she would have to let it go. She would always have the people she valued leave her or be the one left behind.
But she left the Takehimas, only to slowly form a deeper attachment with her friends from the Aoiya. Just like with her little family in Tokyo, she would have to endure another family either being taken away or drifting apart. And then, she'd be left all alone. She wouldn't dare allow that to happen again.
~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
a/n: every time I get closer to the end, I think of things that I would like to see expressed. However, I do think there are only 3 parts more. I have to work out something in the next part regarding Aoshi and Megumi. Their reasons to live are noble, but noble ideas sometimes don't bring about happiness itself. What will bring Aoshi one step closer to realizing that for himself? Gosh, I'll be darned. I thought perhaps I'd have Okina bribe him, but don't find that satisfying. When I resolve that, you'll see the next part ^_^.
Her day was largely left open. After her morning walks either around the clinic or to shops close to the clinic, she would look through the Western medical texts that had been sent from Tokyo or amuse herself with reading aloud from Obaasan's book. But both efforts grew rather tiresome. (The translation was difficult and when it came to proverbs, despite all her efforts, Aoshi still far surpassed her.)
In between her periods of rest, Megumi would constantly poke her head into the clinic and look for something to do.
It was clear Megumi needed something to occupy herself with her time. Morimoto kindly suggested that she look to doing the inventory of herbs and undertaking the task of refilling what was needed. Megumi, delighted to have something important to do, dragged Aoshi and Obaasan into her little project and they learned more than they had ever set out to with respect to various medicines and herbs. Soon her preoccupation with refilling her stores became the excuse to test her growing strength and take several short rides out in search of the plants, flowers and herbs that were native to Aizu.
By then, it had been two weeks since they had returned to Aizu. They had waited for a warm, sunny day in which to try to find their treasures. It was the only way to pacify Mr. Morimoto, who in the end had stayed behind at the quiet clinic, insisting he was going to catch up on his reading, but most likely was taking a nap.
Obaasan and Mrs. Morimoto walked ahead happily chattering about something, while Aoshi held the reins to the horse that Megumi sat on. She was unusually quiet, lost in some thought, Aoshi supposed.
"I haven't been to some of these forests for a long time," she said finally, forcing some cheer into her voice. "In the old days, Father used to close the clinic and bring us here, sometimes also with mother. Sometimes we'd say we were looking for something to use for medicine, sometimes we were really just trying to explore the countryside."
She stared ahead. "One night Mother woke me up and sent me out for some kind of mushroom that grew only in these shady areas. When I came back, everyone had been taken away. Shortly after, I apprenticed myself, and the rest . . . " she stopped awkwardly. The subject of Kanryuu Takeda was still one that hung between them not discussed. "I haven't been this way since I left Kanryuu," she continued softly. "This road eventually goes quite close to his former estate."
So that was the explanation for her silence. That night had been a turning point for both of them. She had been saved and given a new life while he had gone mad.
"This road is simply a road," Aoshi answered back. While he still sorely felt the loss of his four clansmen and deeply regretted the course his life took after that point, he refused to allow that memory to hold him back from going in this direction.
"I know," she answered a bit reluctantly. "I should be glad with how things turned out. But - your men, what happened to you afterwards. I can't be glad, even though at the time I hated all of you. Just as much as I hated myself--"
"If you had succeeded, you'd be dead."
She shook her head, "I had already decided then that to be my only choice."'
"My men chose what they did, even though it meant dying at the hands of that bastard. They did what they did so I might live. When I manage to live one more day, I am living to honor their sacrifice, just as you live to save lives, Megumi-san."
His words gave her something to ponder. He was completely at peace with all that had happened, yet she had not been even up to that point. How she envied that peace, that contentment. Despite all the good that she had done, she still felt as if she was missing something in her life, and it was not something she understood.
As the party of four continued on that afternoon and picked plants, seeds, flowers, and herbs to their hearts' content, that thought dogged her the rest of the day.
~~~~
The next morning, without warning, Aoshi had simply disappeared.
"Tokyo," Obaasan had replied when asked. "Business."
Megumi spent the morning feeling rather guilty. While time had drawn itself out here in the quietness of her home, the real world had its own demands that could not be ignored. She could afford the luxury of an afternoon picking flowers, while that afternoon had likely endangered some critical deal.
However, that guilt turned into something else when some of her patients commented on his absence. The nosier ones asked when he was coming back.
"I don't know," Megumi was bandaging the hand of one of her neighbors, "I think he had business to tend to and will likely be gone for a long time."
"Oh." The woman seemed almost disappointed. "He's been here so long that I just assumed."
Megumi bit her lip in order to avoid scolding the woman. After all, the poor woman had burned her hand and there was no need to add to her misery by giving her a severe tongue-lashing about gossiping. It was hardly appropriate to even speculate as such!
"You assumed something which is not true," she calmly answered. "He felt he owed a debt to me for my help in Kyoto and is fulfilling his obligation."
"Forgive me, doctor." The woman smiled, "You know how we married women are --"
She pasted a smile on her face and nodded, "Of course."
That was not the first conversation she had with her well meaning neighbors. Several days passed before word came that he would be returning with something from Tokyo. By then, Megumi had enough of the innocuous questions from all the people she had run into asking about the tall gentleman from Kyoto. It was highly unusual, perhaps scandalous for him -- an unmarried man -- to be there, even with Obaasan present as well. But even more so, the idea that they were together was ridiculous. After all, she was a woman with a shadowy past. She was not the young innocent like Kaoru, or even Misao, that men like Shinomori or Himura would much prefer.
She resolved then to put an end to all this. Her resolve did not soften even as he returned and presented her with a western-style chair for her sitting that he had brought back from Tokyo per Mrs. Morimoto and Obaasan's request.
After the three of them had eaten a largely quiet dinner, in which Obaasan kept up most of the conversation, Obaasan excused herself to meditate. Megumi went to her herb garden and sat on the chair drinking her daily dose of the tea that was supposed to strengthen her.
When she had finished, he silently handed her a letter. "From the Himuras."
"Ah," she smiled, "so you did see them. I wondered about whether you would go the dojo."
"Without Misao?" He completed her question for her. "It is partly because of her that I did go. And for other reasons."
She opened the letter then and recognized Kaoru's confident brushstrokes.
We're glad to hear that you are well. Admittedly, when we heard from
Aoshi-san earlier, we were very concerned. Kenshin had wanted to go
help look for you, but the Aoiya was doing its best and so Kenshin
allowed Aoshi to go his own way. . .
. . . Sanosuke is well. We have had another letter from him, and as
usual, he sounds as if he's having fun, which means he's likely
fighting his way through Mongolia. That chicken-head. . . .
. . . Aoshi-san mentioned that your recovery will be quick now. I
can imagine you are anxious to get back to your regular life. We
look forward to that, as we would like to be able to invite you to the
cherry blossom festival in the spring if you are up for it. Until
then, Kaoru.
She looked up from her letter at the messenger. Aoshi was standing silently next to her, leaning against a wall and contemplating the night stars that were starting to ascend the sky. The novelty of sharing a moment like that with him reminded her that she was keeping him and Obaasan from returning to their 'regular life.'
"Aoshi-san," Megumi broke the companionable silence. "Obaasan doesn't seem so happy does she?"
"Obaasan?"
"Today at dinner she sounded as if she missed Kyoto. I am well enough now that I do not need very much help."
"Obaasan doesn't mind waiting another week. We discussed it earlier when you were sleeping."
"Aoshi-"
"Both Obaasan and I are willing to help you more, Megumi-san. And the Aoiya does not mind our absence as it is our fault for your illness."
"The Aoiya is not to blame for the things I chose to do after I left Kyoto, Aoshi-san. I chose to help those people like I chose to help you and your clan. I chose it alone. I don't think you need to let that guilt keep you here when I am and will be fine." She wondered why she sounded so irritated. "I mean," she added more softly, "Your duty is done. I still tire easily, but I can manage many things on my own."
"I see," he answered thoughtfully. "I guess then Obaasan's caution was unnecessary. I'll go tell Obaasan now that we will leave tomorrow night."
He left without a backward glance. Megumi did not know why his easy answer bothered her, but she accepted it.
Obaasan came to see her a short time later with teapot in hand. "More tea, Megumi-san?"
"Yes, please." She smiled. "I do not think I need it, but I'm rather accustomed to it now."
"Yes you are stronger." Obaasan answered. "Aoshi-san mentioned that."
"I do not know the full extent of what Aoshi-san said to you Obaasan, but I mean not to be rude. It's just that I'm almost completely well and the both of you have taken too much time already to help me."
"Aoshi-san told you though that we are willing to stay?"
"Yes, of course," she spoke softly. "It has nothing to do with the two of you, really."
"Oh?"
"Since the time we left Kyoto, you two have been very good to me. I can honestly say that this time of recovery has been enjoyable despite my illness." Megumi paused, a sad look passing over her face, "But like that time with the Takehimas--."
"Takehimas--" Obaasan placed her hand gently on Megumi's head. In what way, Megumi-san?"
Something sad passed across Megumi's face then, but was gone just as quickly, to be replaced by a cheery expression, "Never mind me. I really am better, and I can manage on my own."
Obaasan wanted to ask more, but she felt it had something to do with Aoshi and Megumi's conversation. It was not a matter that she could help with. "Will you be coming in soon, Megumi?"
"In another moment or so," she smiled. "Let me enjoy the night sky a little longer."
Megumi had not dared tell either of them what she had been thinking in her head. The Takehimas had offered her something more than she had up that point - a feeling of belonging somewhere, of being wanted for more than just her skills as a doctor. But, she suddenly feared that like with all things truly treasured in her life, she would have to let it go. She would always have the people she valued leave her or be the one left behind.
But she left the Takehimas, only to slowly form a deeper attachment with her friends from the Aoiya. Just like with her little family in Tokyo, she would have to endure another family either being taken away or drifting apart. And then, she'd be left all alone. She wouldn't dare allow that to happen again.
~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~
a/n: every time I get closer to the end, I think of things that I would like to see expressed. However, I do think there are only 3 parts more. I have to work out something in the next part regarding Aoshi and Megumi. Their reasons to live are noble, but noble ideas sometimes don't bring about happiness itself. What will bring Aoshi one step closer to realizing that for himself? Gosh, I'll be darned. I thought perhaps I'd have Okina bribe him, but don't find that satisfying. When I resolve that, you'll see the next part ^_^.