Author's Note-WOW!!! Thanks to everybody who reviewed! I wasn't expecting
so many reviews in one day! Nor was I expecting to write any more chapters
to this! And for those reviewers who were kind enough to remind me that
scenario number 4 is quite disturbing, I assure all of you that this is ALL
IN GOOD FUN! So cheers everybody, I have written more for you! By the way,
due to the fact that reading the same few sentences over and over (i.e. the
Cho/Harry convo before the big smooch), I'm just going to screw it and get
to the good parts!
-little red P.S.- Oh! You've all made me so happy!
Disclaimer- seeing as that I am a raucous drunk hobo, I own nothing, except for the bottle of Peppermint Schnapps that I grasp with my free hand. J.K. Rowling and AOL/Time Warner own everything in site. I do own this laptop and the box that I am writing from. By the way, do you have any change?
-little red (resident hobo)
Scenario 5: The call-of-the-wild one
A/N- So sorry for another one, but absolutely NO ONE in Harry Potter seems to have a urinary or intestinal tract. This should be interesting. And I won't get detailed in a 'Fat Bastard' kind of way. That stuff grosses me out way too much.
Harry thought to himself "Now or never, mate"
It was so obvious that Cho wanted to be kissed. What a clever girl, setting this up with the mistletoe. Harry leaned his head to Cho's and kissed her lightly on her trembling mouth. She accepted this with pleasure, but quite suddenly, Harry felt a sharp pain in his abdomen.
"Oh, not now! I knew I shouldn't have had that third helping of shepherd's pie!" thought Harry.
Cho felt Harry's resistance and pulled her head from his.
"Harry? Is something the matter?" said Cho. But soon she did not need to ask. The Room of Requirement in which they were just kissing in had filled with chamber pots.
"Oh shit." said Harry. He forgot that whatever he desperately needed, the Room of Requirement would grant him just that. He had just been thinking to himself "Dear Lord! I need a place to shit!" Harry swore under his breath. (A/N- Why is it always UNDER their breath. When I swear, it's usually at the top of my lungs).
"Umm, Harry? Maybe I should go," said Cho. Harry had a desperate get-me-to- the-loo-now kind of look. Cho left quickly.
The moment Cho left, Harry began to undo his trousers and did a sort of gallop/jig towards a chamber pot. The only problem was that his zipper was stuck.
"Ooooohhhhhh NO! Not now! Not now!" yelled Harry.
Harry struggled with his trousers. Why do the school uniform trousers have to be loose enough to feel comfy, but too tight to pull off in a goddamned emergency?
"I better not shit in my pa-" Harry stopped himself mid sentence.
"I can't believe I just shat myself," said Harry with a grimace on his face.
He left the Room of Requirement at a very slow pace. He took baby steps, which is why it took so long to get back to the common room. He was so ashamed.
"I can't believe I fucking shat my trousers."
END SCENARIO 5
(A/N-Was that gross? If it was, I'm truly sorry, but even though they have bathrooms at Hogwarts, I have a sneaking suspicion they are not used. If I caused discomfort, I will pay your therapy bills. You pay for the Prozac though)
Scenario 6: The busted-awkward-greasy one
(A/N-Someone suggested that I use Snape in a scenario, so thanks you!)
Harry finally understood what Cho meant when she pointed out the mistletoe.
"She made it so obvious! I'm such a dumb ass!" thought Harry. "What should I do? What should I do?"
But before Harry could come up with some sort of game plan, Cho draped her arms around him and began to snog him senseless. And just like in "Scenario 5", the Room of Requirement transformed itself. There were candles everywhere, and a bed with black satin sheets.
"What? Cho? I wasn't thinking this!" said Harry. It was true. He didn't even think it was necessary.
"Yeah, but I was." said Cho.
"Oh God! Oh God! She's moving too fast. What am I going to do? I don't think I can do this!" thought Harry. But he didn't have time to think. Cho had pushed him on to the bed and straddled him.
"What is with this chick?" thought Harry "First she's crying about he dead boyfriend and now she trying to bloody shag me!"
Cho began to strip Harry down. Harry was uncomfortable, but didn't feel like he needed to complain.
" I just hope she doesn't compare me to Cedric, because I heard he was a good shag." thought Harry to himself as Cho began to take off her shirt.
But before Cho could even lift her shirt over her head, the raging hormones stopped in their tracks. Why you say?
" Ahem." said a cold voice.
Harry and Cho looked to the door where the voice was coming from. It was none other then Severus Snape.
"Mr. Potter, Ms. Chang, I believe you are both in very big trouble. Not only are you out after hours, but you are also, ahem, discrediting school policy. I'm sure you two can find other times and places to fall to teenage hormones. But seeing as this is no proper time or place, you will both be serving a week's worth detentions. Now put your clothes on and get out of here. If I ever find either of you in this room after hours again, I will make sure that you are expelled."
Snape spun on his heel (like he always does) and left the two nearly naked teenagers to cope with the fact that their most hated professor just saw them half naked and close to shagging.
Cho looked at Harry, brought her shirt back down all the way and ran out of the Room of Requirement crying.
"That was a close one," said Harry after she left.
He put his clothes back on and walked semi-briskly back to the common room. There was no need to share this with anyone.
END SCENARIO 6
(A/N- Sorry guys, that wasn't that funny, but, ehhh, I try.)
Scenario 7: The flaming-disturbing-Slytherin one
Harry had no time to think. Cho had pointed out mistletoe, and everyone under the fricken sun knows that you're supposed to kiss under mistletoe. Harry glanced up at the mistletoe to realize that Cho had moved so close, they were both under it. Harry gulped.
"Cho, I can't" said Harry "I'm just having a hard time with a lot of things, and I can't take anymore stress."
"I understand Harry. I don't think I'd be able to handle this either, with Cedric being d-d-dead and all." said Cho. Cho gave Harry a kiss on the cheek and ran out of the room.
"Good. Now I have some other things to attend to." said Harry to himself.
Harry made his way to the dungeons to find a certain prefect waiting for him.
"Where have you been?"
"Sorry, I was held up by some pressing matters. But I'm here now, that's all that matters." said Harry.
The perfect prefect Harry had been talking to stepped out of the shadows. It was none other then that blonde, sexy piece of Slytherin, Draco Malfoy.
"Still, I don't like to be kept waiting" said Draco as he pulled out a whip.
"I know, but that silly wench Cho Chang was trying to kiss me!" said Harry, putting on a pair of leather pants and a police officer's hat.
"I'm the only one who gets to kiss you!" said Draco, pulling off his robes to reveal a mess of leather and chains.
"I know, love. Shall we?" said Harry gesturing to a private dungeon.
"Yes, let's." said Draco
And they went on their merry way doing God knows what.
END SCENARIO 7
-little red P.S.- Oh! You've all made me so happy!
Disclaimer- seeing as that I am a raucous drunk hobo, I own nothing, except for the bottle of Peppermint Schnapps that I grasp with my free hand. J.K. Rowling and AOL/Time Warner own everything in site. I do own this laptop and the box that I am writing from. By the way, do you have any change?
-little red (resident hobo)
Scenario 5: The call-of-the-wild one
A/N- So sorry for another one, but absolutely NO ONE in Harry Potter seems to have a urinary or intestinal tract. This should be interesting. And I won't get detailed in a 'Fat Bastard' kind of way. That stuff grosses me out way too much.
Harry thought to himself "Now or never, mate"
It was so obvious that Cho wanted to be kissed. What a clever girl, setting this up with the mistletoe. Harry leaned his head to Cho's and kissed her lightly on her trembling mouth. She accepted this with pleasure, but quite suddenly, Harry felt a sharp pain in his abdomen.
"Oh, not now! I knew I shouldn't have had that third helping of shepherd's pie!" thought Harry.
Cho felt Harry's resistance and pulled her head from his.
"Harry? Is something the matter?" said Cho. But soon she did not need to ask. The Room of Requirement in which they were just kissing in had filled with chamber pots.
"Oh shit." said Harry. He forgot that whatever he desperately needed, the Room of Requirement would grant him just that. He had just been thinking to himself "Dear Lord! I need a place to shit!" Harry swore under his breath. (A/N- Why is it always UNDER their breath. When I swear, it's usually at the top of my lungs).
"Umm, Harry? Maybe I should go," said Cho. Harry had a desperate get-me-to- the-loo-now kind of look. Cho left quickly.
The moment Cho left, Harry began to undo his trousers and did a sort of gallop/jig towards a chamber pot. The only problem was that his zipper was stuck.
"Ooooohhhhhh NO! Not now! Not now!" yelled Harry.
Harry struggled with his trousers. Why do the school uniform trousers have to be loose enough to feel comfy, but too tight to pull off in a goddamned emergency?
"I better not shit in my pa-" Harry stopped himself mid sentence.
"I can't believe I just shat myself," said Harry with a grimace on his face.
He left the Room of Requirement at a very slow pace. He took baby steps, which is why it took so long to get back to the common room. He was so ashamed.
"I can't believe I fucking shat my trousers."
END SCENARIO 5
(A/N-Was that gross? If it was, I'm truly sorry, but even though they have bathrooms at Hogwarts, I have a sneaking suspicion they are not used. If I caused discomfort, I will pay your therapy bills. You pay for the Prozac though)
Scenario 6: The busted-awkward-greasy one
(A/N-Someone suggested that I use Snape in a scenario, so thanks you!)
Harry finally understood what Cho meant when she pointed out the mistletoe.
"She made it so obvious! I'm such a dumb ass!" thought Harry. "What should I do? What should I do?"
But before Harry could come up with some sort of game plan, Cho draped her arms around him and began to snog him senseless. And just like in "Scenario 5", the Room of Requirement transformed itself. There were candles everywhere, and a bed with black satin sheets.
"What? Cho? I wasn't thinking this!" said Harry. It was true. He didn't even think it was necessary.
"Yeah, but I was." said Cho.
"Oh God! Oh God! She's moving too fast. What am I going to do? I don't think I can do this!" thought Harry. But he didn't have time to think. Cho had pushed him on to the bed and straddled him.
"What is with this chick?" thought Harry "First she's crying about he dead boyfriend and now she trying to bloody shag me!"
Cho began to strip Harry down. Harry was uncomfortable, but didn't feel like he needed to complain.
" I just hope she doesn't compare me to Cedric, because I heard he was a good shag." thought Harry to himself as Cho began to take off her shirt.
But before Cho could even lift her shirt over her head, the raging hormones stopped in their tracks. Why you say?
" Ahem." said a cold voice.
Harry and Cho looked to the door where the voice was coming from. It was none other then Severus Snape.
"Mr. Potter, Ms. Chang, I believe you are both in very big trouble. Not only are you out after hours, but you are also, ahem, discrediting school policy. I'm sure you two can find other times and places to fall to teenage hormones. But seeing as this is no proper time or place, you will both be serving a week's worth detentions. Now put your clothes on and get out of here. If I ever find either of you in this room after hours again, I will make sure that you are expelled."
Snape spun on his heel (like he always does) and left the two nearly naked teenagers to cope with the fact that their most hated professor just saw them half naked and close to shagging.
Cho looked at Harry, brought her shirt back down all the way and ran out of the Room of Requirement crying.
"That was a close one," said Harry after she left.
He put his clothes back on and walked semi-briskly back to the common room. There was no need to share this with anyone.
END SCENARIO 6
(A/N- Sorry guys, that wasn't that funny, but, ehhh, I try.)
Scenario 7: The flaming-disturbing-Slytherin one
Harry had no time to think. Cho had pointed out mistletoe, and everyone under the fricken sun knows that you're supposed to kiss under mistletoe. Harry glanced up at the mistletoe to realize that Cho had moved so close, they were both under it. Harry gulped.
"Cho, I can't" said Harry "I'm just having a hard time with a lot of things, and I can't take anymore stress."
"I understand Harry. I don't think I'd be able to handle this either, with Cedric being d-d-dead and all." said Cho. Cho gave Harry a kiss on the cheek and ran out of the room.
"Good. Now I have some other things to attend to." said Harry to himself.
Harry made his way to the dungeons to find a certain prefect waiting for him.
"Where have you been?"
"Sorry, I was held up by some pressing matters. But I'm here now, that's all that matters." said Harry.
The perfect prefect Harry had been talking to stepped out of the shadows. It was none other then that blonde, sexy piece of Slytherin, Draco Malfoy.
"Still, I don't like to be kept waiting" said Draco as he pulled out a whip.
"I know, but that silly wench Cho Chang was trying to kiss me!" said Harry, putting on a pair of leather pants and a police officer's hat.
"I'm the only one who gets to kiss you!" said Draco, pulling off his robes to reveal a mess of leather and chains.
"I know, love. Shall we?" said Harry gesturing to a private dungeon.
"Yes, let's." said Draco
And they went on their merry way doing God knows what.
END SCENARIO 7