Title:: The Four Inescapable Rules of Life
Author:: Lokaia
Summary:: This entire fic is based around something one of my professors said.
Disclaimer:: Space Cases and The Rules do not belong to me. SC is Peter David's and Bill Mumy's. The Rules belong to my 060 professor.
Rating:: PG-13
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There's a problem with being right all the time.
It means you're right.
All the time.
And that's very, very bad. Especially when you're me.
I had finally caught up with the rest of my crewmates and tried to explain to them what a creye is, and what it can do.
"Wait!" gasp "You don't!" wheeze "Understand!" choke
It was a little difficult.
"Bova, what's the matter?" Commander Goddard put a hand on my shoulder, looking at me with concern. To his credit, he was trying to pay attention to me while Harlan and Radu waited in front of the docking bay.
I decided to give myself a few more minutes of breathing time. Or I had until Suzee decided to use the intercom.
"Commander, the ship's inside."
"Thank you, Suzee." The Commander patted my shoulder again and turned away.
Oh, no you don't.
"Commander, there's something you should know about the creyes." I thought about that. "Well, actually, you'll probably find out on your own soon enough..."
His glanced at me in concern. "Are creyes dangerous?"
"They can be. There's no reason for you to bring them in here because they're pretty useless."
"Pretty useless?" I glanced over at Harlan, leaning against the wall beside the bay's controls. "So they're pretty useful, too, aren't they?"
I shrugged. "Sort of."
"What do they do, Bova?" I looked away from the Commander, not wanting to answer.
"If you piss them off, they spit salt acid at you," I told him helpfully.
He frowned, thinking about that. "Harlan, Radu, leave the door for a minute." The other two reluctantly left their posts and stood facing me. "Okay. Salt acid. What do they do that's useful?"
"Well, if you disregard that whole 'salt acid' thing, primitive Uranusians used to use their skins to help concentrate power."
Goddard's eyes flashed in recognition. "We could use it to increase the power of the engines?"
I sighed. "Yes, but--"
"If we have to skin something, Rosie won't be happy, Commander," Radu said. I think he was trying to help me out.
"If we have to skin something to get home faster, Rosie will get over it," Harlan replied. He shot me an angry glare. "Why didn't you say this right away?"
I shrugged. "Since when does anyone listen to me?"
The others ignored me, Goddard considering all that had just been said. "Bova... is there a way to contain it without it spitting at us?"
"Theoretically."
The commander raised an eyebrow. "Theoretically?"
"Well, people have tried and its supposed to work, but considering as how they were dead by the time they were found--"
"Okay, Bova." Goddard sighed and glanced at the door to the docking bay. "Bova, last question: is it worth it to try and capture this creature?"
I looked around at all of them. Goddard was resigned to a pessimistic answer, Harlan looked hopeful, Radu was worried.
I thought about the people who had tried to catch a creye and the techniques you were supposed to use. If we all worked together, and Thelma operated somewhat normally... maybe...
I met the commander's gaze. "No."
"Oh, come ON!" Harlan exploded. He turned to Goddard, angrily. "Commander, this is our chance to get home faster! Home!"
Goddard frowned. "Mr. Band, we don't know anything about this creature. We have to rely on Mr. Bova's knowledge."
"Bova's knowledge of what?" he demanded. "What's going to go wrong? What could go wrong? How it's going to go wrong? Why it's going to go wrong? Where and when it's going to go wrong? Even if he did have an idea of how it would work, he wouldn't tell us!"
Goddard glared at Harlan, silencing him, and turned back to me. "Mr. Bova," he began, speaking slowly. "Is there any possible way that you can see us succeeding in using the creye to help our engines?"
I paused. If I said yes, they'd do something stupid. If I said no, they'd probably doing something stupid anyway. So...
"Well, theoretically..."
"You see?" Harlan said. "He's letting pessimism get the better of him!"
Goddard sighed and gestured for Harlan to shut up. "Mr. Bova, you understand our reluctance to take your word for it?"
I nodded. "Oh, sure."
Goddard smiled and turned back to Radu and Harlan. "Open hatch, boys."
#2 Inescapable Rule of Life:: Things are going to get worse before they get better.
Author:: Lokaia
Summary:: This entire fic is based around something one of my professors said.
Disclaimer:: Space Cases and The Rules do not belong to me. SC is Peter David's and Bill Mumy's. The Rules belong to my 060 professor.
Rating:: PG-13
-------------------------------------------
There's a problem with being right all the time.
It means you're right.
All the time.
And that's very, very bad. Especially when you're me.
I had finally caught up with the rest of my crewmates and tried to explain to them what a creye is, and what it can do.
"Wait!" gasp "You don't!" wheeze "Understand!" choke
It was a little difficult.
"Bova, what's the matter?" Commander Goddard put a hand on my shoulder, looking at me with concern. To his credit, he was trying to pay attention to me while Harlan and Radu waited in front of the docking bay.
I decided to give myself a few more minutes of breathing time. Or I had until Suzee decided to use the intercom.
"Commander, the ship's inside."
"Thank you, Suzee." The Commander patted my shoulder again and turned away.
Oh, no you don't.
"Commander, there's something you should know about the creyes." I thought about that. "Well, actually, you'll probably find out on your own soon enough..."
His glanced at me in concern. "Are creyes dangerous?"
"They can be. There's no reason for you to bring them in here because they're pretty useless."
"Pretty useless?" I glanced over at Harlan, leaning against the wall beside the bay's controls. "So they're pretty useful, too, aren't they?"
I shrugged. "Sort of."
"What do they do, Bova?" I looked away from the Commander, not wanting to answer.
"If you piss them off, they spit salt acid at you," I told him helpfully.
He frowned, thinking about that. "Harlan, Radu, leave the door for a minute." The other two reluctantly left their posts and stood facing me. "Okay. Salt acid. What do they do that's useful?"
"Well, if you disregard that whole 'salt acid' thing, primitive Uranusians used to use their skins to help concentrate power."
Goddard's eyes flashed in recognition. "We could use it to increase the power of the engines?"
I sighed. "Yes, but--"
"If we have to skin something, Rosie won't be happy, Commander," Radu said. I think he was trying to help me out.
"If we have to skin something to get home faster, Rosie will get over it," Harlan replied. He shot me an angry glare. "Why didn't you say this right away?"
I shrugged. "Since when does anyone listen to me?"
The others ignored me, Goddard considering all that had just been said. "Bova... is there a way to contain it without it spitting at us?"
"Theoretically."
The commander raised an eyebrow. "Theoretically?"
"Well, people have tried and its supposed to work, but considering as how they were dead by the time they were found--"
"Okay, Bova." Goddard sighed and glanced at the door to the docking bay. "Bova, last question: is it worth it to try and capture this creature?"
I looked around at all of them. Goddard was resigned to a pessimistic answer, Harlan looked hopeful, Radu was worried.
I thought about the people who had tried to catch a creye and the techniques you were supposed to use. If we all worked together, and Thelma operated somewhat normally... maybe...
I met the commander's gaze. "No."
"Oh, come ON!" Harlan exploded. He turned to Goddard, angrily. "Commander, this is our chance to get home faster! Home!"
Goddard frowned. "Mr. Band, we don't know anything about this creature. We have to rely on Mr. Bova's knowledge."
"Bova's knowledge of what?" he demanded. "What's going to go wrong? What could go wrong? How it's going to go wrong? Why it's going to go wrong? Where and when it's going to go wrong? Even if he did have an idea of how it would work, he wouldn't tell us!"
Goddard glared at Harlan, silencing him, and turned back to me. "Mr. Bova," he began, speaking slowly. "Is there any possible way that you can see us succeeding in using the creye to help our engines?"
I paused. If I said yes, they'd do something stupid. If I said no, they'd probably doing something stupid anyway. So...
"Well, theoretically..."
"You see?" Harlan said. "He's letting pessimism get the better of him!"
Goddard sighed and gestured for Harlan to shut up. "Mr. Bova, you understand our reluctance to take your word for it?"
I nodded. "Oh, sure."
Goddard smiled and turned back to Radu and Harlan. "Open hatch, boys."
#2 Inescapable Rule of Life:: Things are going to get worse before they get better.