Title: The Truth is in Their Eyes

Author: StormieNights

Codes: A, S, R, T

Rating: PG-13. Cause I made Archer evil and mild language.

Summary: Time hardens the Captain more than others, and the meaning of duty changes for Hoshi and Malcolm.

Author's Note: I think that Archer could become one of those villains you see in the movies. The kind who started out as the idealistic guy but hardened with time and necessity. Anyway, my opinion is that in the end, a person's eyes tell their story. This is a bit of an AU. Feedback welcome. (Thank you to PJinNH for pointing out that this didn't upload right.)

She ran smoothly, picking up a strange weapon from a fallen enemy. It didn't matter how it worked, as long as it killed. Briefly she slowed down as she heard a groaning sound next to her, but a quick pitiful blast from her new gun quickly silenced it. Only the soft sound of her feet echoed in the corridor.
At the intersection she stopped and pushed her back to the wall. It let her momentarily relax and not have to stand up on her own. Slowly her panting slowed and the sounds of the strange ship became more audible. A steady pulsating sound replaced the beating in her ears.
"Damn you Trip," she muttered under her breath as she checked her chronometer. "You were supposed to knock the propulsion out. You were supposed to be here by now." She checked around the corner of the corridor and checked her watch again. Captain Archer had insisted on radio silence until the ship was dead in the water. Malcolm had objected loudly to this, as he tended to do.
Malcolm's argument with the Captain and Trip replayed once again in her head.

"Respectfully, Sir, you don't have Daniels this time," Malcolm spat out, his eyes blazing. The Captain gazed coldly back, with Trip as his sidekick next beside him.
"No, Lieutenant," the Captain said with a menacing smile, "This time you provided the information." Archer glanced and smiled at Trip, who stood defiantly with his hands on his hips.
Malcolm's eyes didn't waver as he said, "You have my report on the intercepted transmission. And in that report it clearly stated that the information could not be trusted. It said, again, that it is up to the Captain how he acts on such information." Hoshi heard the implication in his voice. Malcolm was telling Jon that Jon would be culpable.
The guilt of not being able to stop the Xindi attack on Earth flashed beneath the skin of Archer's stone face. It may have been a new adversary this time, but to him, every enemy was another Xindi.
"We could destroy their damn mothership!" Trip yelled. "Don't you get it? They couldn't threaten anyone again!"
Hoshi watched transfixed from her station, mimicking Travis's shocked expression. T'Pol simply worked at her station, but Hoshi could see her ears twitching to listen.
Malcolm's gaze dropped and he glanced at Hoshi and Travis. Her eyes stared back at his dark rimmed blue ones, the sadness mesmerizing. Their eyes had grown sad together over the months as they saw their Captain darken and their friend Trip slowly stop making his jokes or smiles. But Malcolm's eyes now had the look of a man who had passed through hell and never wanted to return. The faintest hint of pure fear topped the blue waves in his eyes.
His tone was even and calm, almost soft, when he said, "We might be able to destroy that ship, if it now is the mothership. That would mean certain death for many of our crew, however. If we destroyed this enemy, it would only unleash the demons in this area's Pandora's Box." Hoshi knew that he could continue on the implications of any actions, but saw him contract for a moment. He continued, "I'm not saying that we should ignore those killing innocent colonists and boomers." He gazed over at Travis briefly. "I'm simply stating that this might not be the best way of brining peace." Malcolm stood completely still, as if he was waiting for the firing squad to begin.
"Your comments will be taken under advisement," Archer solemnly said, and exited to his ready room with Trip.
Malcolm simply stood frozen once they had left. Hoshi saw a shiver run through him, as if he was shaking off a bad dream. He looked at her fearful face with a puzzled expression. She wished that she could have told him that she agreed with him. That she had translated that transmission, and knew its weaknesses better than anyone. She wished she could have told him that she was still scared. But space had hardened her so that her shell could protect against the horrors of the outside world, but so that none of her emotions could escape.
Malcolm walked unceremoniously off the bridge.

Hoshi checked her chronometer once again and then began to mentally curse in Klingon. Suddenly, the whole are was plunged into darkness and everything became so silent that she could faintly hear the electronic buzzing of her communicator.
"About time," she muttered to herself.
Footsteps came from the hallway, and she instantly recognised them: Trip and Malcolm. Something must have gone wrong. Malcolm wasn't supposed to rendezvous with her.
"Hosh?" Trip panted and the footsteps slowed to a crawling tiptoe.
"Where have you been?" she hissed and handed him a new gun and two data chips, the spoils of this victory.
"They were more prepared than we had expected," he answered and exchanged a flashlight with her.
"Where's the Captain and T'Pol?" she asked and strapped a pack of ammunition to her waist.
"They had to take an escape pod when the bastards started venting atmosphere. They're fine," Trip added and Malcolm sprayed disinfectant on Hoshi's bleeding hand.
"I'm fine," she insisted and re-wrapped her hand with the ad hoc bandage. Phlox would never have approved of it, but she wasn't about the leave a trail of blood to be followed.
"We need to get out of here," Malcolm told Trip as the ship grunted. Hoshi didn't ask what was wrong. They didn't need to waste more time with petty exchanges of information. She trusted them.
"This way," Trip said after shining his light down one of the other three corridors. He began sprinting and was closely followed by Hoshi and Malcolm.
Abruptly Trip stopped and fired at a section of wall. An empty cavity became visible through the wall's newest wound and Trip lead the way by crawling through. They came into a small chamber with several small ships.
"Your sense of direction is as reliable as always," Malcolm said with a faint smile as Trip tried to open one. "However, your breaking and entering skills aren't up to par. Let me help you with that."
The door hissed open and the three of them crawled inside. Hoshi was tightly crammed between the two men, with her head and hands free to interpret the controls. She wondered if they could feel her heart beat.
They punched through the weakened hull of the ship and Malcolm then checked his chronometer. He exchanged a look with Trip who smiled.
"This will show them," Trip said and pulled out a small control panel from his pocket. He pressed a combination of buttons and Hoshi waited for the craft to move. But the sound of the engine didn't change. She looked out and saw a spectacular explosion in space. The craft rocked slightly as the shock wave hit.
They accelerated to the meeting point.

Hoshi stormed into Malcolm's quarters after he had bid her to enter.
"What were you thinking!" she screamed at him sitting by his desk.
"I did what had to be done," he flatly replied.
"You know just as well as I do that the truth will come out."
"No, it won't."
Hoshi tried to keep her blatant anger out of her voice.
"Oh yes?"
"Yes. The truth would be more harm than help. The crew needs to believe in this mission and their captain. Otherwise we're dead," he said with sage like importance.
"We destroyed a hospital ship Malcolm. They weren't getting genetic enhancements or experimenting to create a super solider. They were wounded. They were easy pickings."
Malcolm explained, "We destroyed the mothership Hoshi. That's what happened. I don't need to hear anything else."
"The crew deserves the truth," she pleaded. "Why are you defending him Malcolm? He's been corrupted. He is responsible for those deaths. You fought him before."
Malcolm took a deep breath and glanced at the PADD on his desk.
"Hoshi, Earth isn't at peace with many people. We have few allies, and too many enemies. But I'm not going to justify this by the needs of war. It's the needs of the people. And the crew need something to believe in. Not just the crew, but all humane beings across the galaxy."
Hoshi chuckled and slumped down onto his bed.
"You lied," she suddenly said with complete seriousness.
"About what?" he said confused.
"You said that by doing this we would open Pandora's Box. But it was open long before we came. Malcolm, we just made more enemies."
"I know," Malcolm said despondently. "The irony is that we've made allies too. Apparently several influential species were very impressed by our swift action against suspected terrorism."
There was a long silence when they both simply stared introspectively.
"I understand," Hoshi said sadly, and rose to leave.
"I wish you didn't have to," Malcolm replied, the PADD on his desk now in his hands.
"No Malcolm, I had to understand. This was never about principle, was it?" she asked with hope of a no.
"No, it wasn't," Malcolm answered, not looking into her eyes, "It is about surviving." She didn't notice as he started deleting the message on the PADD. To his disappointment, he hadn't just explained things to Hoshi, but also to himself.
Hoshi left feeling very dejected. She had killed people who never had a chance of fighting back. She hoped that by her actions that she wasn't condoning the Captain's actions. His transformation was sinking in. He was no longer the Archer whose eyes lit up about the dream of space. He was the Archer whose eyes smouldered at the horrors of space.
Hoshi walked as if in a daze through the corridors back to her quarters. She saw Liz, who congratulated her on the success of the mission. Hoshi could barely hear her, ironic for the acute linguist. She was struggling from crying, crying because she was trying to preserve the dignity of the crew through betraying their principles. She knew that she should tell, but fear gripped her, as it most likely held Malcolm captive.
She knew she was doing what had to be done. She had to do her duty. She would serve the Enterprise by betraying its trust. She would ignore her hypocrisy. But she doubted that she would be able to look herself in the eyes again. If the eyes are the windows to the soul, she wondered if she still had one.

End.

******

I know, a bit strange. If you were wondering if there was R/S going on, I'm not sure. Thanks for reading!