Title: Teddy Bear Intrigues
Series: Binding Covenant Universe
Author: Shona Katt
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter creation that all belongs to those who own the rights to HP this is fan-fiction only no profit is made or intended to be made.

My site Shazbot's Den is here:

"That man. Sometimes I feel like taking him over my knee and spanking some sense into him," moaned Minerva.

"I take it Severus has annoyed you yet again, my dear," chuckled Albus Dumbledore.

"I just don't understand it, Albus. While I'm the first to admit Severus isn't handsome – tall, commanding, can fill and stifle a room in minutes by sheer personality, and has a voice that drips poison honey, yes, but handsome isn't a word I'd use. He is as much of a clothes-horse in his own way as Draco, but he hasn't got a clue about personal grooming. And before you start, I know the boy is fastidious about hygiene. That isn't what I mean. Take that potion he puts in his hair to stop it turning brittle and falling out from potion fumes – he doesn't care that it makes him look unwashed. Remember when he was sixteen? He let his hair grow because Lucius talked him into it. He finally got sick of it getting in his way in transfiguration; he just hacked it off with one of his cutting daggers, into a ragged mop that made James's wild hair look tame. Then he just threw the hair into the bin and went back to his assignment, problem solved as far as he was concerned. And he never fixed it, Albus!" she almost wailed, "A month later, it was still a ragged mop."

"I remember that. You cornered him with a full body bind and trimmed his hair and told him that if he didn't keep his hair trimmed from then on, you would keep doing it."

"He does keep hi hair trimmed now," she smirked, amused, "But only because he knows I'll body bind him and do it myself if he doesn't..."

"So what has our problem child done to annoy you this time, my dear?" he laughed at her indignation.

"He certainly isn't any child of mine, Albus. Or are you trying to tell after all these years that you were unfaithful while I was carrying the twins, and you pooped your changeling in the nest while I wasn't looking?" she gave as good as she got.

"I don't think I had anything to do with it; the girls did it all by themselves. Lily told me she and Narcissa decided on the train that he belonged to them, and they weren't giving him back… Only thing those two ever agreed upon."

"Do you remember that sorting, Narcissa got Slytherin, a state of affairs I blame on you, Lily got Gryffindor."

"Sorry, my dear. Old family tradition: one for Slytherin, one for Gryffindor," Albus shrugged.

"So you keep saying. Anyways, after they were sorted, they watched Severus like two dogs fighting over the same bone. I swear, Lily was ready to rip the Sorting Hat to shreds, she was so angry when it said Slytherin. She pouted the entire feast," Minerva laughed in remembrance of her daughter's antics.

"I was watching Narcissa. The little minx gathered him in as if he were a prize possession and started arranging his life like the bossy little queen bee she is. When he wasn't looking, she poked her tongue out at Lily, just to rub it in," laughed Albus.

"They fought over him for the next seven years. It was hilarious. Narcissa won, I think, having the home ground advantage."

"Lily was holding her own until she started dating James. She had to choose in the end."

"Whereas Narcissa just dragged Severus along, not giving Lucius a choice but to accept him. Very much a case of love me, love my adopted brother. Poor Lucius. He suddenly had a little brother to look after. Those last three years, he actually became more human."

"So what has he done now? He was looking at you as if you were insane before he stormed off towards the dungeons."

Minerva sighed, "Poppy wants to fix his nose and teeth. He can't see the point of taking the time for it when they work just fine as they are. I swear, that boy acts like a full-blooded Veela. They are just as oblivious to their body due to that attraction glamour they hid behind," she growled in disgust.

Albus was shocked. 'Good grief, she really doesn't know,' he thought. "Minerva my dear, didn't you read Severus's file when he was student?"

"He was a Slytherin, Albus, his head of house did both discipline and counseling. What did I miss?"

"His mother died in childbirth. She was part Dryad."

"Explains his eyes. Dryads are immune to glamour; that does explain why you gave him an exemption when he failed Glamours – he couldn't see the result."

"Minerva, his father remarried when he was six months old. His new stepmother was a full-blooded Veela.

"He can't see glamours," she moaned in realization.

"It gets worse, my dear. His father died a year later and his stepmother took him back to her clan with her. She loved him as her own, and he had no relatives left to stop her. He didn't encounter humans until Hogwarts, my dear, and returned to the clan for his summers," he said gently.

"Albus, he was surrounded by human teenagers who were obsessed with their appearance. He should have learned the difference. I remember the seventies well. The whole student body was obsessed with their looks."

"Unfortunately, my dear, that is why Severus didn't learn. Remember all those little hiding charms that were all the rage back then? One springs to mind: 'glamour top'. What did the ad say? 'Don't have time to fix your hair? Use glamour top. Perfect hair without the fuss.' That was one of a thousand little glamours available in the seventies. Remember, my dear, Severus can't see glamours."

"He must have felt right at home," chuckled Minerva, then froze in horror, "Albus, he must have thought I was victimizing him, singling him out that way. A full body bind and a hair cut while the person standing next to him probably had a bird nest for hair they hadn't washed for a week, let alone combed."

"You couldn't see that bird nest due to the glamour; only that ragged mop of Severus's caught your attention. Now, when did those glamours become unpopular?" twinkled Albus.

"Just before Harry's first year. Someone threw a reveal-all anti-glamour bomb at a some press conference and everyone was horrified at the results. The company went bankrupt, as no one dared use the glamours anymore. So that's why Severus has gotten easier to live with these last four years. Without the glamours, we see the same as he does now."

"Yes. He came to very confused at the sudden change. Twenty years of bird-nest hair, no make-up and darned and patched clothes, to the other extreme in a day. It was like teaching a child, who couldn't see the point, social etiquette in a day. I was very tempted to transfigure something into a teddy bear for him to clutch."

"He would have killed you, Albus," Minerva laughed.

"Why do you think I restrained the impulse?" he twinkled at her, "I gave it to him for his birthday a month later, in private so he wouldn't storm off."

Minerva was shocked, "You gave him a teddy bear and lived?" she squeaked.

"Actually, I gave him a Nightmare Bear and apologized for its form, but explained that I didn't think he would have liked the unicorn, pegasus or doll form instead."

"A teddy bear, Albus. You actually got away with getting Severus a teddy bear."

"A Nightmare Bear, designed to stave off nightmares in children. I upped the charm to adult strength. It's black, his favourite colour, with brown eyes. If he finds out you know, you are to be prim and proper and congratulate him on being mature enough to go for the better charm, despite its form."

"Was it the better form, Albus? Or did you just want to give him a teddy bear?"

"It really is the better charm, Minerva. 20 percent better than a dream catchers and 50 percents better than anything else I could find," he chuckled wickedly, "and I wanted to give him a teddy bear."

"Albus, you are insane," laughed Minerva.

"I have been thinking of getting one for Harry. I believe his nightmares are getting as bad as Severus's. How do you think the rest of his dormitory would react to one?"

"Probably kiss your feet in relief, if it stops him waking them. But before you run off to Diagon Alley for one, I suggest you ask Severus's opinion first," said Minerva calmly.

"Why?" asked Albus, confused.

"Get a brain, Albus. You have forced yourself on Severus as a father figure; the teddy bear just sealed the impression. If you get Harry one as well, I guarantee a sulking Potions Master due to sibling rivalry. The only way to stop that is to get him thinking with his brain, not his emotions. Ask his opinion about getting one for Harry for his nightmares, get him thinking like a teacher, not a jealous sibling. Then sound him out about Draco."

"Draco?"

"You have two grandsons, Albus. What would have happened if you had gotten Lily a teddy bear and not Narcissa?" she snapped.

"Oh dear, I hadn't thought of that," sighed Albus, "Who would have thought teddy bears could cause so much intrigue. A Slytherin invention, wouldn't you say, my dear?

"Idiot," she said fondly, "Shut up and pour me some tea."