Some of the story uses text from the translated manga. I do not own
Saiyuki or the character or Gaiden, blah blah blah. (
A Friend in Heaven
Wow, last night was a hard fight. The youkai were many in number and some were strong. We did well and still came out on top. I am glad that Hakkai persuaded Sanzo into letting us stop to rest and make camp a little earlier than usual. Maybe he just needed some "me" time without us all crammed in Jeep. I get to be in charge of dinner again. But that's okay since I am so good at it. It gives me a little time to myself too. As I grab the pole and string, I look back at our small group. Gojyo's just brought up the firewood for dinner and Hakkai hands him a cup of tea, which he refuses. Hakkai chuckles. I can hear them reminiscing a bit about living together as Hakkai turns to gather up the cooking gear. Sanzo is reading his newspaper as he smokes his cigarette. I actually like the scene before me. Those men, however crude, rude or smothering, are like my family. That thought makes me smile and I turn to the lake.
Hakkai and Gojyo have a past in common and talk about it frequently. Sanzo just plain doesn't give a shit about friendly conversation. I really don't have much to contribute. What I know about myself isn't much to talk about. I just don't remember and what I do remember is so mixed up with dreams and nightmares that I can't possibly make myself clear in conversation. I ready the pole, the string, the cricket and lower it into the deep water. I wonder, who taught me to fish? To read? To play cards? Faces swim before me and then darkness, like that cave. Surely I had to have someone teach these things to me. Sigh. Sometimes when I have the nightmares, I thank the goddess that I don't remember much. But then I wonder what I am being spared. Or am I being denied? My family, who were they? The rhythm of the wind on the water slowly makes me feel heavy. I shouldn't sleep here, I am supposed to be hunting fish. But I am tired, the battle was great, and fishing is relaxing.
Again, as I drift, the faces appear and with them voices, words, pictures. I want to remember, oh merciful sleep, my family.
I always dream so many voices.
"What do you think you were doing, bakazaru!!!" "I'll leave everything to my nephew, Konzen." Konzen! "Remember to name him since he's your pet." "I'm Nataku. What about you?" Nataku! "Goku. It's Goku. It's short and easy, so even a monkey-head like you can remember it right?" "You can say that I'm an old acquaintance of Konzen. Please call me Ten- chan." Ten-chan! "Don't call me uncle! I'm still young!" "Kenren Taisho!" Kenren!
Then come the pictures. Almost like flipping through old photographs.
My family. My friends. Fleeting images and wonderful memories. Kenren taught me to fish and even to play poker until Ten-chan caught him and told him the lessons were over. But I had already learned. Ten-chan, sensei, taught me to read when Konzen needed some peace and quiet. I could be quite a handful, I guess. Konzen, Konzen. He cared for me.
With most dreams, you reach a point were there is no turning back. Where little sounds fail to wake you. All of a sudden you are transported. The dream has you and you have the dream. You are there.
I can hear my voice. "Are you running away because you did something bad too?" Then I hear another voice respond. "It's nothing big. A God who always scatters his ego around was taking a nap with his idiotic face, so I drew nose hair on him." I turn to look at the speaker. A kid? A kid! Like me! He's the only kid I have ever seen besides myself here. He is a prankster and mischievous and he is so cool! I like him instantly! Finally, someone I can play with who is my size. Who thinks on my level, instead of with those grown-up notions. All right!
I laugh at his comment of the nose hair and I tell him that I would really like to see it. He laughs and says that he should have taken a picture of it. We giggle together and he tells me his name. "I'm Nataku. What about you?" Nataku. I feel sad because now I have to tell him, "I don't have a name yet. There wasn't anybody to give me one." We spend a wonderful few moments where I tell him that I am a heretic because of the color of my eyes. He makes me feel so much better when he tells me that I am amazing because there is only one of me in the whole world. In that instant, I decided that we were friends. But we never really did get to play again.
The next time I saw him, he was bleeding and bruised. He had been fighting some youkai that had gone bad. He could barely stand. I don't know where he was walking to in the state he was in, but it could have been to see Kenren. Kenren was one of the only people besides myself that I think even cared what happened to him. In the brief moment before he collapsed into my arms he said, "You, the person from the other day".
Because he was my friend, I stayed with him. I didn't care what other people told me, I was going to follow wherever they took him. While in Nataku's room, the doctor glared at me as he patched up Nataku's wounds. But I stayed anyway. He was my friend after all. We talked when he woke. This time it was me who could cheer him up. I dispelled thoughts he had that no one would care if he were gone. I told him I would care because "I came over just to meet you, Nataku." He said he would show me around Heaven. Take me to places where no one goes and where there are trees that are tall. We never got the chance.
At first I thought that Nataku didn't like me anymore. But it was more than that.
We were kept apart. I don't know or understand why. I looked for him, thought about him, etc. It was no use. Someone decided that we couldn't be friends. And it was the same someone that ordered Nataku to kill me. Litouten, his father.
But I suppose I am just a bakazaru. I wanted to still be friends. I heard his father order him to kill me when I tried to confront Nataku. But when I hit Litouten trying to defend myself and my friend, I got everyone else that I loved involved. Nataku tried to kill me. I saw the blade coming down on me and then I saw Kenren's blade stop Nataku's. Kenren was wounded in the following exchanges. And this is where my dream turns to nightmare. Nataku started to destroy things as his father shouted the order to kill all of us. Me, Ten-chan and Kenren. He pulled buildings down. He was so driven, almost insane like his power was eating him alive.
I barely escaped his blade again. That heavy metal necklace I always wore stopped it with a loud echoing clink. I did the only think I could think of, "Nataku, about my name, I'm Goku. Nice to meet you."
Then I lost my friend. He said my name, with a hint of recognition, almost like he knew it all along. As I watched Nataku sink his blade into his own skin, I screamed. Nataku falls. Scream! Nataku coughs blood. Scream! I'm being pulled away from my friend. Scream! Scream! Scream! I hear a snap like metal keys rattling together or a gate closing, I don't know and I feel the heavy pieces of my golden band fall away from my forehead. I scream! "Oi, monkey! Monkey!" Someone shakes me.
I look up into a familiar face. "G-Gojyo?"
"Yeah. What's going on? You were really yelling over here." Gojyo says.
"It's true, Goku. Were you having another nightmare?" Hakkai asks.
I notice that Sanzo is there too. He is holding his gun.
"Yes and no." I say.
"Well, since you fell asleep on the job, I had to catch the dinner. Were having rabbit again." Goyjo smirks.
"Dinner is ready, so come on and stop messing around, bakazaru." Sanzo finally says.
Over dinner, Hakkai tries to get me to talk. "You want to go over the nightmare. It helps to talk about it sometimes." He smiles at me.
"Not really, Hakkai. I don't really remember much about it now." I say. But I know I remember everything. At least until the dream stops, when I scream. Everything after that is still a mystery that I someday hope to solve.
"It's okay, Goku. If you do need to talk, I will listen." He says. I can tell that he knows I was fibbing and putting him off. He doesn't push the issue and I am grateful.
After dinner as the others are busy readying for bed, I lay on my pallet and look up into the expanse of stars. Nataku. My friend. Did you survive? Are you there? Someone decided that we couldn't be friends. That someone, your father, ordered you to kill me. I wish that you hadn't turned that blade on yourself. As I think about it, something hits me. I smile. Nataku, I know now why you did it. Why you didn't kill me and hurt yourself. It is because someone decided that we couldn't be friends and you decided that we were.
I look over at the three figures finally settling down. Nataku, I have new friends now. They don't replace you and I miss you. But I think that you would like them. Yes, I think you'd like them very much. I laugh.
"Oi monkey, shaddup! I'm trying to sleep here!" Gojyo yells out.
I stick out my tongue and give him a big fat raspberry. "Sleep light, kappa, or you might wake up with nose hair." I giggle.
"Huh? Stupid monkey." He says.
I can hear Hakkai chuckling as I feel a pillow hit me in the head.
"Oof! Why you dirty.." I begin but I am cut off. "If you two don't stop disturbing my precious sleep I will kill you." I smile as things quiet down.
As I drift back into sleep, I dream. This time it is wonderful. I hear the voices and see the pictures.
"Once I recover, I'll show you around here in Heaven. I'll take you to places that no one knows, a place where trees grow tall, a place where lots of wild berries grow."
"I'll come with you! Definitely, for sure! I'm absolutely going!!"
A Friend in Heaven
Wow, last night was a hard fight. The youkai were many in number and some were strong. We did well and still came out on top. I am glad that Hakkai persuaded Sanzo into letting us stop to rest and make camp a little earlier than usual. Maybe he just needed some "me" time without us all crammed in Jeep. I get to be in charge of dinner again. But that's okay since I am so good at it. It gives me a little time to myself too. As I grab the pole and string, I look back at our small group. Gojyo's just brought up the firewood for dinner and Hakkai hands him a cup of tea, which he refuses. Hakkai chuckles. I can hear them reminiscing a bit about living together as Hakkai turns to gather up the cooking gear. Sanzo is reading his newspaper as he smokes his cigarette. I actually like the scene before me. Those men, however crude, rude or smothering, are like my family. That thought makes me smile and I turn to the lake.
Hakkai and Gojyo have a past in common and talk about it frequently. Sanzo just plain doesn't give a shit about friendly conversation. I really don't have much to contribute. What I know about myself isn't much to talk about. I just don't remember and what I do remember is so mixed up with dreams and nightmares that I can't possibly make myself clear in conversation. I ready the pole, the string, the cricket and lower it into the deep water. I wonder, who taught me to fish? To read? To play cards? Faces swim before me and then darkness, like that cave. Surely I had to have someone teach these things to me. Sigh. Sometimes when I have the nightmares, I thank the goddess that I don't remember much. But then I wonder what I am being spared. Or am I being denied? My family, who were they? The rhythm of the wind on the water slowly makes me feel heavy. I shouldn't sleep here, I am supposed to be hunting fish. But I am tired, the battle was great, and fishing is relaxing.
Again, as I drift, the faces appear and with them voices, words, pictures. I want to remember, oh merciful sleep, my family.
I always dream so many voices.
"What do you think you were doing, bakazaru!!!" "I'll leave everything to my nephew, Konzen." Konzen! "Remember to name him since he's your pet." "I'm Nataku. What about you?" Nataku! "Goku. It's Goku. It's short and easy, so even a monkey-head like you can remember it right?" "You can say that I'm an old acquaintance of Konzen. Please call me Ten- chan." Ten-chan! "Don't call me uncle! I'm still young!" "Kenren Taisho!" Kenren!
Then come the pictures. Almost like flipping through old photographs.
My family. My friends. Fleeting images and wonderful memories. Kenren taught me to fish and even to play poker until Ten-chan caught him and told him the lessons were over. But I had already learned. Ten-chan, sensei, taught me to read when Konzen needed some peace and quiet. I could be quite a handful, I guess. Konzen, Konzen. He cared for me.
With most dreams, you reach a point were there is no turning back. Where little sounds fail to wake you. All of a sudden you are transported. The dream has you and you have the dream. You are there.
I can hear my voice. "Are you running away because you did something bad too?" Then I hear another voice respond. "It's nothing big. A God who always scatters his ego around was taking a nap with his idiotic face, so I drew nose hair on him." I turn to look at the speaker. A kid? A kid! Like me! He's the only kid I have ever seen besides myself here. He is a prankster and mischievous and he is so cool! I like him instantly! Finally, someone I can play with who is my size. Who thinks on my level, instead of with those grown-up notions. All right!
I laugh at his comment of the nose hair and I tell him that I would really like to see it. He laughs and says that he should have taken a picture of it. We giggle together and he tells me his name. "I'm Nataku. What about you?" Nataku. I feel sad because now I have to tell him, "I don't have a name yet. There wasn't anybody to give me one." We spend a wonderful few moments where I tell him that I am a heretic because of the color of my eyes. He makes me feel so much better when he tells me that I am amazing because there is only one of me in the whole world. In that instant, I decided that we were friends. But we never really did get to play again.
The next time I saw him, he was bleeding and bruised. He had been fighting some youkai that had gone bad. He could barely stand. I don't know where he was walking to in the state he was in, but it could have been to see Kenren. Kenren was one of the only people besides myself that I think even cared what happened to him. In the brief moment before he collapsed into my arms he said, "You, the person from the other day".
Because he was my friend, I stayed with him. I didn't care what other people told me, I was going to follow wherever they took him. While in Nataku's room, the doctor glared at me as he patched up Nataku's wounds. But I stayed anyway. He was my friend after all. We talked when he woke. This time it was me who could cheer him up. I dispelled thoughts he had that no one would care if he were gone. I told him I would care because "I came over just to meet you, Nataku." He said he would show me around Heaven. Take me to places where no one goes and where there are trees that are tall. We never got the chance.
At first I thought that Nataku didn't like me anymore. But it was more than that.
We were kept apart. I don't know or understand why. I looked for him, thought about him, etc. It was no use. Someone decided that we couldn't be friends. And it was the same someone that ordered Nataku to kill me. Litouten, his father.
But I suppose I am just a bakazaru. I wanted to still be friends. I heard his father order him to kill me when I tried to confront Nataku. But when I hit Litouten trying to defend myself and my friend, I got everyone else that I loved involved. Nataku tried to kill me. I saw the blade coming down on me and then I saw Kenren's blade stop Nataku's. Kenren was wounded in the following exchanges. And this is where my dream turns to nightmare. Nataku started to destroy things as his father shouted the order to kill all of us. Me, Ten-chan and Kenren. He pulled buildings down. He was so driven, almost insane like his power was eating him alive.
I barely escaped his blade again. That heavy metal necklace I always wore stopped it with a loud echoing clink. I did the only think I could think of, "Nataku, about my name, I'm Goku. Nice to meet you."
Then I lost my friend. He said my name, with a hint of recognition, almost like he knew it all along. As I watched Nataku sink his blade into his own skin, I screamed. Nataku falls. Scream! Nataku coughs blood. Scream! I'm being pulled away from my friend. Scream! Scream! Scream! I hear a snap like metal keys rattling together or a gate closing, I don't know and I feel the heavy pieces of my golden band fall away from my forehead. I scream! "Oi, monkey! Monkey!" Someone shakes me.
I look up into a familiar face. "G-Gojyo?"
"Yeah. What's going on? You were really yelling over here." Gojyo says.
"It's true, Goku. Were you having another nightmare?" Hakkai asks.
I notice that Sanzo is there too. He is holding his gun.
"Yes and no." I say.
"Well, since you fell asleep on the job, I had to catch the dinner. Were having rabbit again." Goyjo smirks.
"Dinner is ready, so come on and stop messing around, bakazaru." Sanzo finally says.
Over dinner, Hakkai tries to get me to talk. "You want to go over the nightmare. It helps to talk about it sometimes." He smiles at me.
"Not really, Hakkai. I don't really remember much about it now." I say. But I know I remember everything. At least until the dream stops, when I scream. Everything after that is still a mystery that I someday hope to solve.
"It's okay, Goku. If you do need to talk, I will listen." He says. I can tell that he knows I was fibbing and putting him off. He doesn't push the issue and I am grateful.
After dinner as the others are busy readying for bed, I lay on my pallet and look up into the expanse of stars. Nataku. My friend. Did you survive? Are you there? Someone decided that we couldn't be friends. That someone, your father, ordered you to kill me. I wish that you hadn't turned that blade on yourself. As I think about it, something hits me. I smile. Nataku, I know now why you did it. Why you didn't kill me and hurt yourself. It is because someone decided that we couldn't be friends and you decided that we were.
I look over at the three figures finally settling down. Nataku, I have new friends now. They don't replace you and I miss you. But I think that you would like them. Yes, I think you'd like them very much. I laugh.
"Oi monkey, shaddup! I'm trying to sleep here!" Gojyo yells out.
I stick out my tongue and give him a big fat raspberry. "Sleep light, kappa, or you might wake up with nose hair." I giggle.
"Huh? Stupid monkey." He says.
I can hear Hakkai chuckling as I feel a pillow hit me in the head.
"Oof! Why you dirty.." I begin but I am cut off. "If you two don't stop disturbing my precious sleep I will kill you." I smile as things quiet down.
As I drift back into sleep, I dream. This time it is wonderful. I hear the voices and see the pictures.
"Once I recover, I'll show you around here in Heaven. I'll take you to places that no one knows, a place where trees grow tall, a place where lots of wild berries grow."
"I'll come with you! Definitely, for sure! I'm absolutely going!!"