Title: How To Snag A Hottie From Your Prom Queen Of The Caribbean Sister
Author: Whose ff.net account are you currently at? Here's a hint, starts with a C and ends with a rystyna…
Disclaimer: That disclaimer was getting a bit boring wasn't it? Time for a new one! *pulls out magic curling iron* Will Turner, awaken and be mine!!! Poster, poster on the wall: Who's the fairest one of all?
Will Turner Poster: Elizabeth Swann!
Crystyna: Wrong answer babe. *burns poster of Elizabeth, does psychotic death-to-Elizabeth dance*
Will Turner: *faints*
Crystyna: Well, while he's sleeping…*turns to Jack Sparrow poster*
Jack: Don't look at me, luv.
0.o
…Yeah…and so I don't own anything remotely pirate related…
Summary: Elizabeth has a sister (called Christina) and they are complete opposites. Call it a Mary Sue if you must, frankly I don't give half a starved rat's ass. Or half of any rat's ass for that matter, even a fed and tamed one. Pro-Elizabeth don't read.
A/N: Don't really have nothing to say right now…R/R please!
~*~
"All these ships and boats show how many sailors have been claimed by this passage," Mr. Gibbs said darkly. We were leaning over the edge of the boat, looking at wreckage from many, many ships. I shivered, so this was the downside to being caught as a pirate?
"How is it that Jack came by that compass?" Will asked. He was standing next to me, and Mr. Gibbs was next to him.
"Not a lot known about Jack Sparrow before he showed up in Tortuga with a mind to go after the treasure of the Isla de Muerta . That was before I met him. That was when he was Captain of the Black Pearl."
"Captain? Of the Black Pearl?" I asked, shocked.
"He failed to mention that," Will said.
"He found its best place things closer to the vest now. And a hard learned lesson it was," Mr. Gibbs said, warming up to a little round of story telling. I looked curiously at Jack, who was carefully maneuvering the Interceptor through all the broken pieces of what not in the water. "…See three days out on the venture the first mate comes to him and says everything's an equal share as should be the location of the treasure, too. So, Jack gives up the bearings. That night there was a mutiny. They marooned Jack on an island and left him to die but not before he got mad with hate," Mr. Gibbs continued.
"Poor Jack…" I murmured, earning yet another look from Will.
"So that's the reason for the…" Will did an impression of Jack. I raised an eyebrow at him. He stopped, and turned back to Mr. Gibbs.
"Reason's got nothing to do with it. Now Will, when a man is marooned he is a given a pistol with a single shot. Well it won't do much good hunting or to be rescued. But after three days of …" My mind wandered off, I stared at the water and imagined all the dead people at the bottom, all the pirates and the merchants, and all the treasure…I looked at Jack, who, to my surprise, was looking back towards Will, Mr. Gibbs and I. "…that pistol starts to look real friendly. But Jack made it off the island and he still has that one shot. Oh, but he won't use it though, save for one man. His mutinous First Mate."
"And the First Mate deserves to be shot, too," I said savagely. Will looked at me, "Barbossa," he said. Aha…now why couldn't I figure that one out? I nodded.
"Aye, he does, Miss Christina. Barbossa," Mr. Gibbs spat the name like a curse.
"How did Jack get off the island?" Will asked.
"Well I'll tell you: He waded out into the shallows and there he waited three days and three nights till all manner of sea creature came and clambered to his presence. And on the fourth morning he roped himself a couple of sea turtles, fixed 'em together and made a raft." Gibbs stated proudly.
"He…roped a couple of sea turtles?" I asked. That was mad, even for Jack. Mad enough for me not to believe. Much like the fact that I was, supposedly, my father's biological daughter, and my sisters biological twin. Yeah…right.
"Aye, sea turtles," Mr. Gibbs said.
"And…what did he use for rope?" Will asked.
"Human hair…from my back," Jack's gruff voice said from behind me. He was smirking.
"Eww, you have hair on your back?" I asked.
"Not anymore, luv," Jack replied. Gross….
"Let go of the anchor…young Mr. Turner and I are to go to shore," Jack said. "Hey, what about me?" I asked, sounding whiny (like Elizabeth…ech!). "You must stay here, Christina, it's too dangerous with all those pirates." Will said.
"Horse shit," I spat, and Will looked stunned. Jack, however, nodded slightly. "Well, if that doesn't clear it up for you, mate, nothing will," he said. "I came this far already, don't tell me its to bloody dangerous now," I shouted.
"Touché ," Jack said, eager to get aboard.
"Christina, no…"
"You'll need a good fighter, if they catch you!"
"We're not going to get caught, love, we're going to be fast. It'll just be a hassle for you to come with us," Will said. I blinked. Love? It meant nothing coming from always drunk Jack, who tossed the nickname out to everyone, even Mr. Cotton's parrot. But Will? Oh…wait, identity crisis, I'm not Elizabeth, so therefore it meant nothing anyway. Silly me.
"So now I'm just a hassle?" I hissed.
"That's not what I meant," Will said desperately. "Well it sure God damned sounded like it, Will!" I yelled. He rubbed his face tiredly. "Look, we don't have much time, just stay here. Please? For me?" he asked. I groaned. For me? For me?! That scheming, tricksy, manipulative little…He already caught me off guard with that 'love' stuff…I frowned.
"Fine," I said quietly. He smiled, touching my face gently, "I'll come back, and I'll have your sister too. Don't worry," he said, heading off with Jack to save Goddess Elizabeth from the perils of Barbossa and his crew.
"It's not her I'm worried about," I whispered without thinking. 'For me'…why did he have to pull that one on me?!
~*~
I paced around the ship angrily, wishing more and more that I'd just defied Will and gone anyway. If I had any pride that's what I would have done. But no, I am just a simpering corset wearing moron, just like the rest of 'em... "They should be back by now! They should be back, shouldn't they, Mr. Gibbs?" I asked. Anamaria smirked at me. "A little worried about wittle Willie, now are we, Princess?" she asked. I glared at her, "I'm in no mood for your rubbish now, Anamaria, so I suggest you shut up," I seethed. She laughed, "Don't worry, Princess, Jack'll have them back."
"I hope so,"
"He will. And let me give ye a word of advice, straight from Anamaria to ye. If you don' wan' Will to know ye fancy 'im, then stop being so bloody awful to 'im," she said. Mr. Gibbs nodded, "Yer makin' in painfully obvious, if ye don't mind me saying, Miss Christina," he said.
"What?!" I gasped.
"It's the law o' the Universe. I'm surprise he aint figured it out yet. Buh maybe tha's because he's so preoccupied with yer sister," Anamaria said.
"Gee, thanks," I muttered, turning to go away.
"Nah, its 'cause he's trying to figure out how to impress ye," Mr. Gibbs said. I turned around to look at him skeptically, raising an eyebrow. It dawned on me the for most of my life I've only felt skeptical and sarcastic. I must be a truly bitter person… "You've been drinking too much again, Mr. Gibbs," I said wistfully. He shrugged, "If ye say so, Miss Christina, if ye say so,"
"Blockhead," squawked Mr. Cotton's parrot.
"Eh, the parrots right, maybe he's jus dumb." Anamaria snorted, darting up the rigging before I could throw something at her.
I resumed my pacing, trying not to think of what Mr. Gibbs had said. After all, what Anamaria had told me, as blunt as she was, made more sense. It was much easier to comprehend…
"Dead men tell no tales," Mr. Cotton's parrot squawked, just like he'd done five minutes before, and five minutes before that, and before that etc. etc… "Bloody hell, will someone please shut up that stupid parrot!" I yelled. Mr. Cotton looked reproachfully at me. "Sorry," I muttered, going down into the cabin and in a few moments time, which seemed like hours mind you, came back up again.
"Not more pirates," I heard my sister's whiny voice exclaim. "Welcome aboard, Miss Elizabeth," I heard Mr. Gibbs answer. "Elizabeth! Will!" I cried, launching myself at both of them. I hugged my sister (OSS what can I say?) "Elizabeth, you have a horrible bruise on your face!" I said, shocked. Elizabeth never got bruised. She was never in a situation to get bruised in the first place, but apparently she bruised quiet easily. She had a faded mark on her left cheek, and a darker one on top. My sister flushed and glared at me some more, before looking away. I turned to Will.
"I was half expecting you to swim back after us," he teased. "Oh, Will," I sighed, hugging him. He was soaking wet. "What did you do, swim back here?" I asked. "Something like that," Will said smiling. Elizabeth glared evilly at me as Will's arm went tentatively around my waist. I grinned at her, enjoying her jealousy for the moment (one of the rare moments she was jealous of me) and buried my face in Will's neck. "Wait…where's Jack?" I asked, pulling away and looking around.
"Jack? Jack Sparrow?" Elizabeth spat accusingly. I stared at her, "Yes, Jack Sparrow." I snapped at her. Even her time with evil undead pirates couldn't smarten the girl up. Her stupidity was almost embarrassing…sometimes I was ashamed to be her sister. No doubt she felt the same way towards me.
"Will, where is he?" I asked, my voice breaking. Will let go of me and shifted his weight on his feet, staring at the crew. His eyes finally stopped and I turned to see who he was looking at. It was Mr. Gibbs. I looked back to Will, his face nearly impossible to read. "He fell behind," Will said quietly, taking Elizabeth by the arm and leading her into the cabins. I stared at the spot where he'd been, now empty. I could see the ocean.
"Jack," I whispered.
"Keep to the code," Mr. Gibbs barked at the crew. I jumped. "What about Jack?" I asked him, my voice quavering a little. Anamaria looked at me sympathetically, but when she saw I noticed, she looked away. "Well?"
"Pirate code, Miss. Whoever falls behind…stays behind," Mr. Gibbs said, not meeting my eyes. "But -"
"Miss, I suggest you go down to the cabins. We have a long way to Port Royal, you'll need your rest," Mr. Gibbs said curtly. I pursed my lips, but words failed me. I headed to where I was told to go, once again not protesting. I was becoming so domesticated it was disgusting.
~*~
I made my way down to the cabins quietly, not exactly knowing what to expect when I got there. I didn't want to interrupt Will and Elizabeth if they were…in the middle of something I really didn't need to see. I hid behind a couple of boxes listened. Eavesdropping I know, but I was too scared that Elizabeth and Will were in the middle of professing their undying love for each other and evil twin or not I wouldn't interrupt that. Even though Elizabeth drove me mad, I know she would do the same for me…at least I hoped so. And Will…I'd just have to give up on him.
I wanted to sink through the belly of the ship and into the ocean when I felt tears rise up within me. All the emotions that I'd been striving to keep at bay just hit me like…a really hard heavy thing. Relief that Elizabeth was back, love for Will, worry and grief for Jack, who, in a few short days, had become one of the few friends I had.
"What kind of man trade's a man's life for a ship?" Elizabeth was saying angrily. I heard Will sigh and I bit my lip to keep from crying. I tasted blood in my mouth, but I didn't care.
"Pirate," Will said. "Here, let me," he whispered. I couldn't help it, I peeked around, still keeping myself hidden, but now I could see. Will took Elizabeth's hand and tenderly wrapped it with cloth. I saw the gentleness in the way he moved and it took all of me not to cry. Again. I could practically feel the ulcers that I was giving myself from all these suppressed emotions.
Elizabeth hissed and pulled her hand away. "I'm sorry. Blacksmith's hands, I know they're rough," Will said. I wanted to go up to him and hug him. I hid myself again, pressed up against the boxes, which miraculously did not fall. I glared up at the ceiling, wiping angrily at my eyes. Tears refused to be held back.
"No, I mean, yes they are but…don't stop," Elizabeth whispered. I leaned around again, and sincerely wished I hadn't. "Elizabeth," Will murmured, leaning into her.
It really hurts when the whole world collapses onto your head.
I blinked rapidly to sustain the tears, but they never came. My eyes were absolutely dry. Like they accepted the fact that Will was not mine, and could never be mine, not even with Jack's stupid little make-Will-jealous plan; before my heart did. I knew it all along, but I'd fooled myself into hoping…and now it hurt more. Shut up, mind! Shut up, heart!
"It's yours," Elizabeth's voice came, shattering my self-pitying reverie. "I thought I'd lost it the day they rescued me. It was a gift from my father, he sent it to me," Will said, a hint of a smile in his voice. "Why did you take it?" he asked, his voice sharp now. I leaned around again.
"Because I was afraid you were a pirate. That would have been awful," Elizabeth said, as if on the verge of tears. I felt the oddest urge to hug her too, she was my baby sister, even if she was only a minute younger than me. She was still my sister, no matter how much it hurt when Will wanted her instead of me. I really need to stop these thoughts. Maybe things would have been different if my mother had stuck around. Not that I blame her for leaving, its just…she could have saved me from a lot of heart ache if she took me with her. But I wouldn't give up Will's friendship for anything…not even to stop this stupid ache-y feeling that I was now trying to kill.
"It wasn't your blood they needed…it was my father's blood…my blood…the blood of a pirate," Will said disgustedly. Self-loathing. Now that was something that I could currently identify with. Maybe Will and I could sit around and talk about how much we hate ourselves…har har.
"I'm so sorry, please forgive me," Elizabeth said. I blinked. Hello? Here poor Will was coming to terms with the pirate in him…pirates that he HATED…and all she can say is 'please forgive me'? I sighed, caught myself, and nearly choked. That was a bit conceited, even for her. But I guess that's one of the things he loved in her. I'll never understand men.
Elizabeth got up and ran out of the cabins. "Shit," I swore under my breath, ducking deeper into the shadows as she ran past. I heard a bang and I jumped, nearly falling and making myself known. I slowly stepped out of the shadows.
"Were you listening?" Will demanded harshly, without looking up. I flinched. "How did you know if was me?"
"You sighed," he said.
"So? Everybody sighs." I said, smiling. My smile faded when he looked at me, hurt and anger in his eyes. "I know your voice, Christina," he said softly. My lip quivered. I hoped he didn't notice. I sat down across from him. "Don't blame her, Will," I said quietly.
"What? She shouldn't have -"
I swear I'll die an early death because of this match making stuff I was pulling.
"She was just doing what she thought was right. My father wouldn't have treated you so kindly if he knew there was pirate in your blood," I explained patiently, my voice surprisingly calm even though inside I was killing myself over and over and over…I should have just let it be, but I felt guilty. God knows why.
"Why does it matter what's in my blood?" Will demanded harshly, grabbing my arms. I winced, "Will…I didn't say it did. But men like my father aren't the most open minded of chaps, you know that," I said. He squeezed my arms harder. "Will, let go you're hurting me!" I yelped, but he didn't let up. "Would you have thought differently if you had known?" he asked me. I blinked, "I did know," I said, meeting his eyes. Will said nothing. Finally he asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"It was not my place to tell. I knew it was between you and my sister," I said quietly, my voice breaking. "Christina," Will whispered, touching my chin and making me meet his eyes.
"Will, being a pirate isn't always a bad thing…I mean, look at Jack,"
It turned out that this was the wrong thing to say.
"Jack," Will spat. "Is he all you think of?"
"Actually, no, he's not. Damn it, Will, you are," I said, wriggling out of his grasp. "But that's besides the point," I said hastily, realizing what I had just said as Will's face turned from anger to shock.
"Look, if you love Elizabeth so much, and you would die for her…then I think you can find it in your heart to forgive her, cant you?" Will said nothing.
"Will, your father's blood and your blood are the same…how then could he be a bad person, if you are the way you are?" I asked gently. He leaned closer, and every muscle in my body tensed. "No," I whispered, out of his reach. I kissed him gently on the forehead and pulled away swiftly. My lips burned, and my face grew hot and suddenly there wasn't enough air in the room.
"They'll need us up there," I said, hearing the muffled commotion. I tried to tell myself that I'd get over him, but I knew when I kissed him I had meant it in a more than friend way. And on top of feeling horribly guilty about it, that kiss had sealed my heart.
~*~
"What's happening?" I gasped, running up to Elizabeth. "The Black Pearl, she's gaining on us," Elizabeth said desperately. "B-but…this is the fastest ship in the Caribbean," I sputtered. Elizabeth looked at me, "That's what I said," she muttered. I looked at her, "I'm glad you're safe," I whispered. She smiled and nodded.
"We're shallow on the draft right?" Elizabeth called to Anamaria. "Aye?" the pirate said skeptically. I caught on, "Can't we just lose them among the shoals then?" I asked. Elizabeth looked sideways at me. "We don't have to outrun them long, just long enough," Mr. Gibbs said.
"Lighten the ship, stand the stern," Anamaria shouted. "Anything that we can afford to lose…see that it's lost," Mr. Gibbs called to the crew. They set to work, and I stood with Elizabeth and Will, watching the Pearl anxiously.
Someone was trying to throw the cannon overboard. Will blocked him, "We're gonna need that," he said, his eyes never leaving the Pearl. "What's going on?" I whispered. The Pearl had oars out…
"It was a good plan. Until now," Anamaria said hollowly. I swallowed hard…they were catching up. And when they got aboard, there was no telling what they would do.
"Gibbs! We have to make a stand. We must fight! Load the guns!" Will shouted, making his way over to Mr. Gibbs. "With what?" Anamaria said exasperatedly. "Anything. Everything! Anything we have left," Will said. Mr. Gibbs nodded, and started shouting orders to the crew. All I could do was watch, I barely knew what was going on, and I could hardly keep my eyes off the Pearl. She seemed to fly over the water.
"This is not good," I muttered.
"She'll break us without ever presenting a target," Gibbs cried.
"Lower the anchor on the right side," Elizabeth shouted. The crew didn't move.
"The starboard side!" I yelled angrily. Honestly.
"It's the only one that has the element of surprise," Will said. Gibbs looked uncertain.
"You're daft, lady," Anamaria said to Elizabeth. "You all are,"
That seemed to make up Mr. Gibbs' mind. He grinned, "Daft like Jack! Lower the starboard anchor! Do it ye dogs or its you we'll load into the cannons!" he roared to the crew. They set to work immediately. "Let go," Elizabeth called to Anamaria. She did, and the wheel spun wildly.
"Keep us steady now," Will said.
"Now!" I screamed. "Fire!" Elizabeth yelled. And we fired…forks. Knives. Spoons. Bottles. Such powerful ammunition. There was no bloody way the Black Pearl could survive the onslaught of kitchen utensils. We were so going to win this.
The ship rocked as it was hit with cannon balls. I flew through the air and tumbled onto the deck, rolling up to my feet and trying very hard to stay upright. I ducked as wood chips from the Interceptor flew up in my face. "We're gonna die!" I heard Elizabeth scream. I ran over to her, "C'mon…this way," I said, leading her away from all the explosions. "Duck!" she shrieked, pushing me and we toppled to the deck.
"Christina! Elizabeth!" Will shouted. "We're fine!" I shouted back.
"We could use a few more ideas, lassies," Mr. Gibbs said. I groaned and rolled over, Elizabeth pulled me up. "Your turn," she said breathlessly. "We need something to barter," Mr. Gibbs said thoughtfully. Anamaria grabbed Elizabeth by the hair. "We'll give them her," she said angrily.
"Anamaria!" I shouted. She pointed the pistol at me, "She'll do as well. Sorry Princess," she snapped, still holding Elizabeth in a choke hold. "It's not them they're after," Will said. I felt the color drain from my face.
"The medallion," Elizabeth whispered, reaching for it. "Its in the cabins," I moaned, but Will was already gone. "Jack!" Mr. Gibbs shouted suddenly. I spun around. "Jack!" I cried. He tossed Mr. Gibbs his canteen. "Bloody empty," he grumbled. The pirates had got onto the ship and one was attacking Elizabeth. I was surprised at how well she could fend for herself, even if she did yelp.
"Ack," I choked, feeling a strong arm grab me around my neck. I stomped hard on whoever's foot and elbowed whoever in the stomach. He let go. I spun around and lashed out with my dagger. The pirate crumpled to the floor, but I knew he wasn't dead. I ran over to Elizabeth.
"And where is dear William?" I heard Jack ask.
"Will," I murmured at the same time as Elizabeth. We ran over, but I was tackled by a pirate before I could reach him. I was hoisted up and swung through the air, the pirate that held me reeked. I gagged. He chuckled and flung me to the deck of the Pearl.
"What's this, another Turner maid?" a low gravelly voice asked me. I looked up and met eyes with Captain Barbossa himself.
~*~