A/N: Ok, I don't have much to say about this chapter … thanks to all who reviewed. The story is definitely coming to a climax, really. There isn't a lot more I'm going to be able to do with it.

BLOODLUST

Chapter 8

For almost a minute none of the three moved, save the cautious flicking of Draco's eyes between Harry and Severus. Then Harry's body jolted, and suddenly he was shaking in shock, desperate confused eyes fixed on his former lover.

Severus took a breath slowly, flexing his strong fingers as Harry stalled. He knew that his presence was doing no good in the boys' first meeting since they had parted, but somehow he could not leave. He had to know Harry's reaction … although the boy could make worse mistakes than a first-year, he was honest and passionate, and the slice of helplessness in his eyes was endearing, and by the Gods, Severus loved him …

He turned his gaze from Harry to Draco, and studied him carefully. He looked practically unharmed, save a cut on his eyebrow, but in the instant when he had seen Harry, his hand had snaked to his left arm, and Severus shivered as he watched the young Death Eater.

'I see.' Draco's thin lips moved almost imperceptibly, and the murmur was cold. 'You're lovers now … I see.'

Severus knew he could not stand between the two – he was too far from Harry to be allowed to claim him – and he could not let Draco believe something that was, so far, untrue. 'Draco … it's not like that … we haven't touched each other, not really …'

Draco ignored him. His eyes went curiously blank, and as he stepped forwards he cleared his throat. 'I bring a message from the Dark Lord,' he said flatly. 'You both have a decision to make. Whichever of you goes to him will be killed; the other will be spared. If neither of you go, we will attack the school, and kill Dumbledore and all the Muggle-borns. I will also be killed. If you both go to him, you will both die, but I will be completely released and we will leave Dumbledore and Hogwarts alone. It is your choice, but if either of you go, you must be in Scotland – you know where,' and he directed his stare at Severus, 'by sunset tomorrow. Now I return to my Master. Dumbledore does not know I have been here.'

A slight smirk creased his mouth, and with a graceful but unmistakeably mocking bow, Draco was gone.

Severus steeled his expression to one of grave endurance. He had been trained for situations like these: having to make decisions, to prioritise between emotional attachment and one's own welfare, or that of one's Master. Inevitably, Voldemort had always taken precedence before. But now there was Harry, and returning his thoughts to the present, Severus was frightened, and glanced at the boy.

Harry stared straight ahead, mouth slightly open. When Severus shifted his weight, his head snapped towards his teacher.

'Well?' Severus asked gently. 'What do we do?' And then he could see Harry's body straining to bolt, and he turned away to allow him to leave.

But suddenly a pair of thin arms wrapped around his waist, and Severus gave a low cry, and turned to embrace the Boy Who Lived.

'Severus, you know as well as I what our choice should be,' Harry murmured.

Severus nodded against Harry's tousled hair. 'Should be … but it can't be. I will go to him, Harry. You'll be free, of him, and me … and everything.'

Harry raised his head and misty green met hollowness. 'I don't want to be free of you!' he said, suddenly aggressive. 'I love you … we should both go, to make it fair … and what sort of a life do you think I'd have if I lost you, as well as everything else?'

And then Severus checked Harry, checked himself.

Things had, unexpectedly, got worse.

Both knew that, by their duty to Dumbledore and the school, they should both surrender, both go for fairness to each other. Even Albus would probably agree with that, despite the inevitable sadness that would lurk in his blue eyes. Nor could they desert Hogwarts, and leave it utterly empty for the Death Eaters to find – it was the safest place in the whole of Britain for wizarding folk, and they would easily be killed if they left.

And anyway … even in the face of the seeming black hole that was Severus' memory of his life, in the face of the unspeakable atrocities he had committed, and relished, he wanted to live. Harry's eyes held an earnestness hat touched Severus further down than any brazen, arrogant sexiness could. He seemed to look up to Severus with a guarded, wary affection, and the Slytherin's shattered soul clung so desperately to the possibility of love that Severus wondered how he had ever lived without it. The lust for Harry was secondary, but still overpowering: the boy had tough muscles strengthened by Quidditch, and he moved with a contained strength that did not match his modesty. The combination was a chord that Severs had never heard, and the disharmony intrigued him, fired his desire. He revelled in the idea that he might possess Harry, either physically or spiritually.

And, of course, Severus, being one always to be utter, was prepared to give everything in return.

But he was not able to judge himself, or the situation. And so, like a coward, Severus fled.

*****

Where is your Gryffindor courage, Harry?

Once you were everything – Ginny Weasley swooned over you, the rest admired you. You survived Voldemort, lived to tell the tale, lived to be worshipped, lived to be happy and to laugh.

Once you were a Gryffindor, and you could laugh at peril.

Now it is a different sort of peril, Harry. Now it is emotional torment, disastrous if you let it be, but you can still fight it. Why are you not fighting it, Harry? Was Fawkes' feather for nothing? Has that wand not given you a strength equal to Voldemort's, made greater by lust for revenge? Are you going to admit defeat to simple emotions?

It's Voldemort's ploy, Harry. He's trying to distance you from everyone who has the power to help you. Even Severus has betrayed his Master, has betrayed himself, really. He loves you, and he's probably perfectly happy to betray everything he told himself was important. Might he not do the same with you?

Are there any people you can call friends? Is there anyone who has stuck by your side? Not Ron … he's too temperamental. But there is Hermione.

Hermione.

Should she be involved in this shit? It'd be a lot to take in.

But she's clever, and mature, and supportive. And she loves you, and she's worried about you. And perhaps she hates Severus now, but if you explain …

Is it worth a try? Will you ever be able to be friends with her otherwise?

No.

Harry. Go. Ron … you'll have to leave Ron. He's baggage, and he only cares about you as a 'mate.' He's been fickle before. You can't deal with that at the moment. No … Hermione is what you need.

Shame about Ron, though.

*****

As Harry crept closer to the Great Hall, he could hear voices coming towards him, and he realised that the students had finished lunch. They were approaching … silent shadows to prey on his soul, and he swept behind a stone archway, panting in fright. Where was she?

And then he saw Ron, and felt his face pale. The redhead was alone, and looked more terrible than Harry had ever seen him: worried, ashen-faced. The faint flush of anger resided in his freckled cheeks, and Harry guessed that he and Hermione had quarrelled. So much the better, then.

He was not prepared for the stab of pain in his heart, but quickly he understood it. He and Ron had been best friends for … it was five years, almost. And now, to leave him, when he wanted Harry back, when he worried and cared about him so much … Harry's guilt augmented sharply, but it was not the numbing, anguished sensation that he had felt a few days before, but a tender, almost gentle prick in his side.

But Ron was gone.

Hermione would follow, surely.

And of course, in her concerned, desperate way, Hermione, the angel of friendship, hurried from the Great Hall after her friend.

'Hermione.' Harry realised suddenly how much his voice must have changed from its faintly adolescent hum: it was now lower, softer, and gloomy.

Hermione started, looked around, and exclaimed in a whisper when she glimpsed him in his hiding place. 'Harry!'

He beckoned to her, and she immediately followed him down the corridor to a deserted dead end. 'Where have you been? No one would tell us, we thought you were dead or something!'

She too looked weary and depressed, and Harry could tell that she had been more deeply affected than Ron had. 'Hermione, I'll tell you what happened. Everything. I mean it … you won't like all of it, or any of it … I don't know. But you can't tell Ron … I'm not ready for him to know, yet. He wouldn't take it well. I may never tell him. But I'll tell you.'

Hermione nodded silently, letting him finish, and her pale face was almost luminous in the darkness. 'Shall we go somewhere, then?' she asked quietly.

A slight nod, and Harry was on quick light footsteps once more, treading with a fright Hermione had not seen in him until now. He could tell it scared her.

An empty classroom. He smiled bitterly. A different one, but the taint was there. Draco's betrayal … and Severus' promise.

'Tell me, then.' Hermione was watching him cautiously. She knew it was serious, and Harry knew just as surely that he had chosen well.

And so he let his ashamed voice entwine into the air, and he told the smoky story.

'Hermione … I'm … I'm not attracted to … to girls. I'm attracted to … other men. Boys. And … for a while now … months, I suppose … I've been seeing … Draco Malfoy. I don't know how it happened, really. But suddenly …' Harry jerked his hand, trying to convey the incredible emotion of that time. 'And that was it, and we were … together … Draco and me. It was …' He swallowed. 'It was sex, mainly. But we were connected, we were from such different backgrounds … we could hardly help there being some sort of attraction.'

He could not look at her, but continued, hypnotic, addicted to his own words, his own retelling of his own nightmare.

'But anyway … I was going to meet him one night, and Professor Snape … well, he tried to attack me. And he had these red eyes, and they glowed … I thought he was mad. And he explained, when he came to. It's Voldemort … we knew he was an unfaithful Death Eater, but Voldemort knows, and knew, about his infidelity. And he was controlling Snape through obsidian. Making him go mad … to try to kill me.

'But he did other things, too. He tried to … to rape me. And then I found the haematite, the neutral stone that jerked him out of the bloodlust. And he stopped … he became sane, but he … he kissed me. And I kissed him back, I responded … he's incredible, really. Severus. But Voldemort came to kill me, and Draco found out, and he was going to take us away. But Severus helped me to escape, he fought Voldemort … Draco couldn't move, he was so shocked. And he was taken away … I don't know how Voldemort got in, Hermione … but anyway, Draco's a Death Eater now.

'And I think I'm in love with Severus. I know he loves me, and I think I could be with him. He's … he's amazing. Not pure, not good, certainly, but he's the strongest person I've ever met. I think he's what I need. Well … until Draco came back. About half an hour ago, maybe more. No one knows he came back. But he issued a challenge … a warning, really.' Harry quickly related Draco's words again, flinching as the memory of them seared his mind.

'And I do not know what to do, Hermione … help me.'

Finally, slowly, he looked at her.

She was crying … he had expected it of her, but the pain in her eyes was beyond everything. She knew something.

'What do I do?' His voice was more panicked now, dreading what she might say.

She raised her face to him, tears staining her cheeks. 'What else can you do?' she whispered. 'Harry … I think you must go to Voldemort. I think you and Severus have to die.'

And although this confirmed that which Harry already knew, really, he clung to her, buried his face in her shoulder and wept like a child.

*****

A/N: It's shorter than some, I think … but I don't think I anticipated what Harry was going to do. And I can't really anticipate what'll happen now. But I would appreciate some reviews, please.

Thanks for reading.

~SS~