The Last Call Bar was ironic in several ways, not the least of which being that they didn't serve drinks. Not only did this not make it an actual bar, but it also meant that last call was meaningless. Reno had thought about looking into this once, to find out what in the blue hell the owner of the restaurant had been thinking, but then he realized something's were better off knowing. As it was, this place- its name, its mystery, its story- was one of the few areas of ignorant contentment in Reno's life, and he was fully happy with it.
"Some place, huh? Did you know the guy who bought it was just too lazy to change its name when he stopped serving alcohol?"
Reno froze in his chair, his leaned back pose suddenly going rigid as his eyes widened, and slid across the table to fall upon the small form of Yuffie Kisargi. He couldn't believe it. Whenever the two got in an argument, he always swore she could read his mind, but he never expected that particular talent to surface and crush one of the blissful realms of uncertainty that he still had in his life. Shaking his head, he waved the waiter over with his seemingly infinite pot of coffee, and poured himself another cup.
"Hey Yuff'," he said, after he had added the proper condiments, stirred the drink cool, and then sipped about half of it away. "Take a seat."
She was, of course, already sitting. Never one for patience, the thief had lasted about twelve seconds in his little hot beverage display before she had grabbed a stool and slid it over, entertaining herself by coming up with as many different ways to rob this place blind while Reno finished up. The waiter, who Reno was forcing to stand around by locking a vice grip around the mans wrist, nervously turned to Yuffie and asked what she wanted to drink. Approvingly, Reno released the mans arm.
"I'll have a virgin Shirley temple..." Yuffie ventured, quickly looking over the drink list, and then remembered a rather unpleasant allergy. "With no cherry."
The waiter, suppressing a smile, jotted down the order and quickly walked away. Reno fixed Yuffie with a steady gaze as she began to look over the rest of the menu in search of a more solid nourishment. She caught his disbelieving look, and cocked an eyebrow. "What?" she asked nervously. "Am I bleeding or something?"
"God I hope not." Reno said, then paused, rethinking his approach. "You really are amazing." Yuffie beamed.
"I know," she said.
"No, I mean..." Reno paused again, realized he'd been doing far too much thinking about what he was about to say, and promptly cut it the hell out. "Do you realize what drink you just ordered?"
"Shirley temple," she responded uncertainly.
"What kind?" he prompted her further.
"...virgin," she said, catching the possible middle school snickers that would bring, but knowing deep down Reno had at least two years more maturity than anyone in such a school.
"With no?" he asked finally.
"Ch- shut up." Yuffie finished, glaring at him from over her menu, which was nice enough to hide the slight coloring of her cheeks. If he caught her blushing, she would officially need to dump the remainder of his coffee directly into his lap.
The waiter returned with her drink, which she couldn't have wanted less if it consisted mostly of battery acid and pickle juice. He pulled out his order pad, and Yuffie eagerly scanner her menu one last time, as if she might find some miracle dish that eluded her grasp up until this point. After that moment passed, she nodded, completely sure with herself. "I'll have the seafood platter."
"Me too," Reno said instantly, so fast Yuffie figured there was no possible way he had managed even comprehend what she had said. She snapped her menu shut and handed it to the waiter, and Reno did the same. Sensing the tension that would have required a deaf blind man to miss, he quickly scurried off to give the kitchen their orders.
"Shit." Reno said suddenly. "I should have ordered some krill rolls."
Yuffie wrinkled her nose. "Those aren't real Wutain food, you know."
"I know," Reno said simply, "but see that girl over there?" The Turk pointed over at the hostess who was hastily seating people, and was practically bulging out of her restaurant issued sweater. "Those things responsible for giving her back cramps, you know, the ones that are this close to bouncing up and hitting her in the face? Those aren't real either. I still approve whole heartedly."
Yuffie kicked him under the table, and Reno had to fight not to cry out at the sudden searing pain in his shin- as if he'd give her the satisfaction. He half opened her mouth to ask her what exactly *that* had been about, but she told him before he even could. "I cannot believe you just said something like that after I finally agreed to go on a real date with you."
Reno raised his eyebrows so hard they almost disappeared beneath his drooping red bangs. There were so many things wrong with that statement he wasn't even sure how to begin, and for a moment, he actually considered not starting as a viable option. Then his leg brushed up against the table, and pain flared up once again. "This isn't a date," he muttered idly, looking around the restaurant in case he had the sudden need of an emergency exit... or a fire extinguisher.
"Of course its a date," Yuffie replied coolly, "you called me up and asked me to meet you here, didn't you? In fact, you even offered to pick me up in drive. Not to mention you are *damn* sure paying for this after that waitress comment. You even had reservations!"
"I get reservations when Rude and I go out to eat, too," Reno said quickly, "but that doesn't mean the nights going to end with me staring at my reflection in his head as he leans in for a goodnight kiss, does it?"
"What's your problem, anyway?" Yuffie asked, thoroughly offended. She had got used to less than standard treatment from the Turk- it was one of his few redeeming features, actually- but this was getting ridiculous. She couldn't believe she had crammed her hips into underwear that resembled floss for this.
"I don't have a problem," Reno said with a shrug. "You just don't have a date. We've been on dates. Do we ever go anywhere as nice... or, well, public, as this? Besides, who cares if I asked you and offered to drive? Your foot isn't even toying with my crotch right now. You know as well as I do you've never had a date where that hasn't happened."
Yuffie winced, pegged, but not ashamed of herself. If he knew he could get away with it without being arrested, she knew Reno would do the exact same thing, with a vibrator clenched between his toes. "You're a dick," she said simply, finding that appropriate.
"And you are so incredibly lucky you've got breasts," Reno said, speaking mainly to the table, as he didn't want to be looking her in the eyes when he got that one out. Since he seemed to be on a roll with saying that's to no one in particular, he kept going, simply for the sake of scientific interest. "I cant believe this is going this badly already..."
That gave Yuffie *real* pause. What the hell was wrong with Reno today? This was one of the most pleasant evenings they had spent together where any actual conversation had taken place. It didn't really compare to the dates that *started* with the ball gag and the hand cuffs, but for an actual effort at normality, it wasn't bad. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Reno said, waiting for the waiter to place their food down on the table and leave before continuing, "that things are going to get even less comfortable than this, believe it or not. I was really hoping to save the trouble until the end of the night."
Yuffie froze. "What about it?"
"I'm not really looking forward to it," he responded simply, and began tucking into his food.
Jaw set in a way that would make most sharks get hungry in recognition, Yuffie simply shook her head at Reno for a second. Since when did he not like the way their nights ended? She remembered when he'd ramped his motorcycle over the hood of a cop car just because it was in the way while they went back to her apartment. "You think it will end a certain way, huh?" she asked, appalled at his bluntness going even further than usual.
"Yes."
"Really?"
"I know so."
"And how, may I ask, do you know that?" Yuffie glared daggers at Reno, but he still refused to look up from his food, apparently truly uncomfortable for one of the first times Yuffie could remember.
"I just do," he said simply, inwardly wondering what the hell she was trying to say. It wasn't like she knew he was going to offer her a job, or anything. Unless Tseng had called ahead in an effort to truly get back at Reno for his parrot-shooting, file-shredding rampage, at which point he would *really* need to shred and shoot when he got back to his headquarters.
"You're really cocky, aren't you?" she demanded.
"It's part of my job," he admitted, though he wasn't entirely sure where she was going with the abrupt subject change.
"Its part of your *job* to take certain things for granted?" Yuffie asked incredulously. "Added onto murder and theft, you're now a hooker or something? Did I accidentally slip you a twenty? And, if so, where's my 19.50 in change?"
Reno blinked. "What?"
"Huh?"
"...did you actually just call me a hooker?" Reno asked, finally looking up for his food in order to fix Yuffie with a look that had her wishing for the gaze he'd given her when she ordered her drink.
"No. Maybe. That's not the point," Yuffie sighed. "The point is, even if your brand new prophecy powers turn out to correct, what the hell do you mean you aren't looking forward to it? Do you have open wounds or something?"
"...probably, but I fail to see how that's relevant." Reno paused, taking a mental inventory of the scratch marks he still had on his back. "Look, I just don't like doing things that are forced on me, even if I wouldn't mind them in normal circumstances."
"Oh, I'm *forcing* it on you?" Yuffie growled, ready to hurl her unfortunately named beverage into his lap and storm away.
"...not that I know of..." Reno said suspiciously, fixing her with a steely gaze. "Tseng is."
"Tseng!?" she asked.
"Tseng," he confirmed.
"Tseng your boss?" she ventured, looking for confirmation.
"Tseng," he said, granting it.
"What possible business of his is it?" Yuffie asked, realizing she had basically shaved her legs so she could play twenty questions.
"It's his money," Reno said simply, realizing that wasn't exactly the case. It was the money of the business man who's wife was fucking around on him, the guy with way too much debt to the mob, or the corporation that had a few dozen bodies it needed escorted out of the country. Still, he reasoned, Yuffie could probably figure that out for herself.
"WHAT!?"
"I said its-"
"I know what you said!" Yuffie stared at him wide eyed, cheeks red and breath ragged. "I want to know how he's even involved in this! What does he have to do with me?"
"I guess he thinks you'll perform well," Reno said, shrugging. "I didn't really stick around to ask, but he seemed really eager to get you into action. I mean, I've told him some favorable things, but I really didn't think he would take it to this level."
"Well of course I'll perform well!" Yuffie cried. "That isn't the point!"
"How is that possibly not the point, Yuff?"
"I don't know!" Yuffie practically screamed at him, then checked her voice when she started to draw stares to some of the other inhabitants of the poorly named restaurant. "Is it?"
"It is."
"I hope you understand how unsettling this is," Yuffie informed him.
"Hey, I've already told you," Reno finished his meal and pushed the plate away. He was full, but he was truly considering ordering dessert just so he'd have some other diversion to focus on, "I'm not fond of it either."
"We're back to that, then," Yuffie said, glad they'd left Tseng and gotten back to her original topic of indignation. "Besides the... forcedness... involved, why aren't you fond of it?"
"Don't know." Reno said, waving off the waiter as he approached. When they got the check, that meant he would need to start explaining. The only thing that would make up for that would be the new job sex that followed, and even that was a close call. "I don't think well do well in this new situation."
"New situation? What exactly do you think I'm going to be doing tonight?" she asked, not entirely sure she even wanted an answer.
"Tonight? Does that matter? It could be the next day, or the day after that. Until you get fired, I guess." Reno said.
Yuffie was ready to scream, since he'd just gone out and said it. "I'm not your hooker!" she hissed as loudly as she could without giving the preacher who worked down the street an explosive heart attack.
Reno looked up in surprise. "I..." he said, paused, and frowned. "You..." things began to piece together in his mind, and he wasn't entirely sure whether he should laugh or just put a bullet in his head now to save months of agony the trouble. "I'm not offering to pay you for sex, you Frisbee throwing psychopath. I'm offering you a job."
Yuffie's eyes widened in horror. "A... job? For the Turks? So that would be... under... Tsengs... pay roll. And... a new situation." Ms. Kisargi closed her eyes tightly, hoping that when she opened them she would either have been dreaming or in hell, either one particularly preferable to this situation. "I accept," she said, her eyes still closed. Reno seemed surprised it had gone over so easily.
"Can we *please* go have sex how?" he said absently, finishing off his drink.
"GOD yes..." Yuffie muttered, calling for both the waiter and their check. She would have to wait until later to ask him about what kind of money she would be making. For the job, she had to remind herself... for the job.
"Some place, huh? Did you know the guy who bought it was just too lazy to change its name when he stopped serving alcohol?"
Reno froze in his chair, his leaned back pose suddenly going rigid as his eyes widened, and slid across the table to fall upon the small form of Yuffie Kisargi. He couldn't believe it. Whenever the two got in an argument, he always swore she could read his mind, but he never expected that particular talent to surface and crush one of the blissful realms of uncertainty that he still had in his life. Shaking his head, he waved the waiter over with his seemingly infinite pot of coffee, and poured himself another cup.
"Hey Yuff'," he said, after he had added the proper condiments, stirred the drink cool, and then sipped about half of it away. "Take a seat."
She was, of course, already sitting. Never one for patience, the thief had lasted about twelve seconds in his little hot beverage display before she had grabbed a stool and slid it over, entertaining herself by coming up with as many different ways to rob this place blind while Reno finished up. The waiter, who Reno was forcing to stand around by locking a vice grip around the mans wrist, nervously turned to Yuffie and asked what she wanted to drink. Approvingly, Reno released the mans arm.
"I'll have a virgin Shirley temple..." Yuffie ventured, quickly looking over the drink list, and then remembered a rather unpleasant allergy. "With no cherry."
The waiter, suppressing a smile, jotted down the order and quickly walked away. Reno fixed Yuffie with a steady gaze as she began to look over the rest of the menu in search of a more solid nourishment. She caught his disbelieving look, and cocked an eyebrow. "What?" she asked nervously. "Am I bleeding or something?"
"God I hope not." Reno said, then paused, rethinking his approach. "You really are amazing." Yuffie beamed.
"I know," she said.
"No, I mean..." Reno paused again, realized he'd been doing far too much thinking about what he was about to say, and promptly cut it the hell out. "Do you realize what drink you just ordered?"
"Shirley temple," she responded uncertainly.
"What kind?" he prompted her further.
"...virgin," she said, catching the possible middle school snickers that would bring, but knowing deep down Reno had at least two years more maturity than anyone in such a school.
"With no?" he asked finally.
"Ch- shut up." Yuffie finished, glaring at him from over her menu, which was nice enough to hide the slight coloring of her cheeks. If he caught her blushing, she would officially need to dump the remainder of his coffee directly into his lap.
The waiter returned with her drink, which she couldn't have wanted less if it consisted mostly of battery acid and pickle juice. He pulled out his order pad, and Yuffie eagerly scanner her menu one last time, as if she might find some miracle dish that eluded her grasp up until this point. After that moment passed, she nodded, completely sure with herself. "I'll have the seafood platter."
"Me too," Reno said instantly, so fast Yuffie figured there was no possible way he had managed even comprehend what she had said. She snapped her menu shut and handed it to the waiter, and Reno did the same. Sensing the tension that would have required a deaf blind man to miss, he quickly scurried off to give the kitchen their orders.
"Shit." Reno said suddenly. "I should have ordered some krill rolls."
Yuffie wrinkled her nose. "Those aren't real Wutain food, you know."
"I know," Reno said simply, "but see that girl over there?" The Turk pointed over at the hostess who was hastily seating people, and was practically bulging out of her restaurant issued sweater. "Those things responsible for giving her back cramps, you know, the ones that are this close to bouncing up and hitting her in the face? Those aren't real either. I still approve whole heartedly."
Yuffie kicked him under the table, and Reno had to fight not to cry out at the sudden searing pain in his shin- as if he'd give her the satisfaction. He half opened her mouth to ask her what exactly *that* had been about, but she told him before he even could. "I cannot believe you just said something like that after I finally agreed to go on a real date with you."
Reno raised his eyebrows so hard they almost disappeared beneath his drooping red bangs. There were so many things wrong with that statement he wasn't even sure how to begin, and for a moment, he actually considered not starting as a viable option. Then his leg brushed up against the table, and pain flared up once again. "This isn't a date," he muttered idly, looking around the restaurant in case he had the sudden need of an emergency exit... or a fire extinguisher.
"Of course its a date," Yuffie replied coolly, "you called me up and asked me to meet you here, didn't you? In fact, you even offered to pick me up in drive. Not to mention you are *damn* sure paying for this after that waitress comment. You even had reservations!"
"I get reservations when Rude and I go out to eat, too," Reno said quickly, "but that doesn't mean the nights going to end with me staring at my reflection in his head as he leans in for a goodnight kiss, does it?"
"What's your problem, anyway?" Yuffie asked, thoroughly offended. She had got used to less than standard treatment from the Turk- it was one of his few redeeming features, actually- but this was getting ridiculous. She couldn't believe she had crammed her hips into underwear that resembled floss for this.
"I don't have a problem," Reno said with a shrug. "You just don't have a date. We've been on dates. Do we ever go anywhere as nice... or, well, public, as this? Besides, who cares if I asked you and offered to drive? Your foot isn't even toying with my crotch right now. You know as well as I do you've never had a date where that hasn't happened."
Yuffie winced, pegged, but not ashamed of herself. If he knew he could get away with it without being arrested, she knew Reno would do the exact same thing, with a vibrator clenched between his toes. "You're a dick," she said simply, finding that appropriate.
"And you are so incredibly lucky you've got breasts," Reno said, speaking mainly to the table, as he didn't want to be looking her in the eyes when he got that one out. Since he seemed to be on a roll with saying that's to no one in particular, he kept going, simply for the sake of scientific interest. "I cant believe this is going this badly already..."
That gave Yuffie *real* pause. What the hell was wrong with Reno today? This was one of the most pleasant evenings they had spent together where any actual conversation had taken place. It didn't really compare to the dates that *started* with the ball gag and the hand cuffs, but for an actual effort at normality, it wasn't bad. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It means," Reno said, waiting for the waiter to place their food down on the table and leave before continuing, "that things are going to get even less comfortable than this, believe it or not. I was really hoping to save the trouble until the end of the night."
Yuffie froze. "What about it?"
"I'm not really looking forward to it," he responded simply, and began tucking into his food.
Jaw set in a way that would make most sharks get hungry in recognition, Yuffie simply shook her head at Reno for a second. Since when did he not like the way their nights ended? She remembered when he'd ramped his motorcycle over the hood of a cop car just because it was in the way while they went back to her apartment. "You think it will end a certain way, huh?" she asked, appalled at his bluntness going even further than usual.
"Yes."
"Really?"
"I know so."
"And how, may I ask, do you know that?" Yuffie glared daggers at Reno, but he still refused to look up from his food, apparently truly uncomfortable for one of the first times Yuffie could remember.
"I just do," he said simply, inwardly wondering what the hell she was trying to say. It wasn't like she knew he was going to offer her a job, or anything. Unless Tseng had called ahead in an effort to truly get back at Reno for his parrot-shooting, file-shredding rampage, at which point he would *really* need to shred and shoot when he got back to his headquarters.
"You're really cocky, aren't you?" she demanded.
"It's part of my job," he admitted, though he wasn't entirely sure where she was going with the abrupt subject change.
"Its part of your *job* to take certain things for granted?" Yuffie asked incredulously. "Added onto murder and theft, you're now a hooker or something? Did I accidentally slip you a twenty? And, if so, where's my 19.50 in change?"
Reno blinked. "What?"
"Huh?"
"...did you actually just call me a hooker?" Reno asked, finally looking up for his food in order to fix Yuffie with a look that had her wishing for the gaze he'd given her when she ordered her drink.
"No. Maybe. That's not the point," Yuffie sighed. "The point is, even if your brand new prophecy powers turn out to correct, what the hell do you mean you aren't looking forward to it? Do you have open wounds or something?"
"...probably, but I fail to see how that's relevant." Reno paused, taking a mental inventory of the scratch marks he still had on his back. "Look, I just don't like doing things that are forced on me, even if I wouldn't mind them in normal circumstances."
"Oh, I'm *forcing* it on you?" Yuffie growled, ready to hurl her unfortunately named beverage into his lap and storm away.
"...not that I know of..." Reno said suspiciously, fixing her with a steely gaze. "Tseng is."
"Tseng!?" she asked.
"Tseng," he confirmed.
"Tseng your boss?" she ventured, looking for confirmation.
"Tseng," he said, granting it.
"What possible business of his is it?" Yuffie asked, realizing she had basically shaved her legs so she could play twenty questions.
"It's his money," Reno said simply, realizing that wasn't exactly the case. It was the money of the business man who's wife was fucking around on him, the guy with way too much debt to the mob, or the corporation that had a few dozen bodies it needed escorted out of the country. Still, he reasoned, Yuffie could probably figure that out for herself.
"WHAT!?"
"I said its-"
"I know what you said!" Yuffie stared at him wide eyed, cheeks red and breath ragged. "I want to know how he's even involved in this! What does he have to do with me?"
"I guess he thinks you'll perform well," Reno said, shrugging. "I didn't really stick around to ask, but he seemed really eager to get you into action. I mean, I've told him some favorable things, but I really didn't think he would take it to this level."
"Well of course I'll perform well!" Yuffie cried. "That isn't the point!"
"How is that possibly not the point, Yuff?"
"I don't know!" Yuffie practically screamed at him, then checked her voice when she started to draw stares to some of the other inhabitants of the poorly named restaurant. "Is it?"
"It is."
"I hope you understand how unsettling this is," Yuffie informed him.
"Hey, I've already told you," Reno finished his meal and pushed the plate away. He was full, but he was truly considering ordering dessert just so he'd have some other diversion to focus on, "I'm not fond of it either."
"We're back to that, then," Yuffie said, glad they'd left Tseng and gotten back to her original topic of indignation. "Besides the... forcedness... involved, why aren't you fond of it?"
"Don't know." Reno said, waving off the waiter as he approached. When they got the check, that meant he would need to start explaining. The only thing that would make up for that would be the new job sex that followed, and even that was a close call. "I don't think well do well in this new situation."
"New situation? What exactly do you think I'm going to be doing tonight?" she asked, not entirely sure she even wanted an answer.
"Tonight? Does that matter? It could be the next day, or the day after that. Until you get fired, I guess." Reno said.
Yuffie was ready to scream, since he'd just gone out and said it. "I'm not your hooker!" she hissed as loudly as she could without giving the preacher who worked down the street an explosive heart attack.
Reno looked up in surprise. "I..." he said, paused, and frowned. "You..." things began to piece together in his mind, and he wasn't entirely sure whether he should laugh or just put a bullet in his head now to save months of agony the trouble. "I'm not offering to pay you for sex, you Frisbee throwing psychopath. I'm offering you a job."
Yuffie's eyes widened in horror. "A... job? For the Turks? So that would be... under... Tsengs... pay roll. And... a new situation." Ms. Kisargi closed her eyes tightly, hoping that when she opened them she would either have been dreaming or in hell, either one particularly preferable to this situation. "I accept," she said, her eyes still closed. Reno seemed surprised it had gone over so easily.
"Can we *please* go have sex how?" he said absently, finishing off his drink.
"GOD yes..." Yuffie muttered, calling for both the waiter and their check. She would have to wait until later to ask him about what kind of money she would be making. For the job, she had to remind herself... for the job.