A/N: I know this has been ages in coming. Several months, I believe. But I think I needed a rest from it. It was beginning to close in on me, and I couldn't see clearly what was going to happen next. I think I have a better idea now. It's not going to go on much longer, and hopefully it'll be finished soon. Thanks for your patience, though. I've received a few reviews over the last couple of months; had it not been for them, it is likely I would have completely forgotten Bloodlust, and my Severus.

*****

BLOODLUST

Chapter 9

Harry wasted no time; he went straight to Severus, assuring Hermione that he would see her again soon, before they left. Hermione had been a blessing. Already his mind was thinking more clearly, and his Gryffindor strength was returning. He could see now. He could see that he had to die.

Severus knew it, too. Severus knew what had to happen. After all the confusion, they had still found love, and there was no way either of them was giving it up now. He realised now that Voldemort had sent Draco with the message for a reason. Harry still had a weakness for his former lover. He had not made love with Severus, and so his body still remembered very well what the feline Slytherin's embrace felt like. The pleasure was not something that could easily be forgotten.

But he would not be confused by old feelings. He loved Severus, and that was that. He was going to go with Severus. Voldemort would not break his will with tricks. Not this time.

As he went, Harry broke into a run, hoping fervently that he would not meet any other students. He had to reach Severus, and together they had to see Dumbledore. Dumbledore had to know what was happening. Oh, it was all so complicated.

His footsteps began to sound louder on the stone floor, and he suddenly wished he had his Invisibility Cloak. If he should meet Ginny, or Neville, or –

'Harry!'

Or Ron.

The redhead emerged from a doorway as Harry slowed. There was no point; Ron could run faster than him, anyway.

'Harry?' Ron repeated. 'What are you – where have you been?'

Harry held up two shaking hands. 'Ron, don't ask questions, I - I won't answer them. I'm going now. I need to find someone.' He turned, but felt a rough hand catch his shoulder.

'Going where? Harry, tell me …' Ron's voice was growing rather plaintive now, and Harry suspected that he would not be able to leave as easily as he had hoped. He stared firmly along the corridor, determined to avoid Ron's eyes.

'Tell me, Harry!'

'No.' He could not control himself, and he had spoken without thinking, but, by God, this was for Severus!

'Tell me …'

'No, Ron. I can't.'

'What the fuck's happened to you?' Ron yelled. 'We're best mates – or we used to be … we haven't seen you for days, Harry! For God's sake, tell me.'

Harry took a deep breath. 'No.' Please, please, Ron, shut up and let me go.

'Shit, Harry, do I have to beat it out of you? Where have you been?'

Suddenly a spasm of anger seized Harry, and blindly he lashed at Ron's face. He was not trying to hinder, as he might before. He was trying to hurt.

And hurt he did. Barely seconds later Ron was on the floor, blood on his face and mouth, eyes closed. But Harry could not stop. His best friend lay unconscious, but all he could think of was that he and Severus were going to die.

'Goodbye, Ron,' he whispered, and ran on, pretending that the tears were not streaming from his eyes, pretending that he was not glad to have seen Ron one last time. Even if it had been like this.

Shame about Ron, though. He let out a silent wail of pain.

He arrived in Severus' office panting, tear-stained, desperately wanting the comfort of his love. He had his arms out, ready, and his feet danced, on the mark to run to Severus.

But Severus was not there.

And in his place stood Albus Dumbledore.

*****

'Harry, come in,' the old man said gently. He extended a thin hand to the chair at Severus' desk, and Harry, bewildered, sank into it, feeling the curves of Severus' bones in the sculpted fabric.

'Professor, sir … where's Severus?'

Dumbledore hesitated too long.

'Sir, where is he … where's he gone?' When Dumbledore still did not answer, Harry's small voice rose, and grew in a thin shriek; involuntarily he lifted himself from the leather. 'Where is he?'

And then Dumbledore's hands were on his shoulders, astonishingly strong, forcing him back down into the chair. His breath was coming in shallow, half-sobbing gasps. 'Professor …'

'Harry, please … calm down. Breathe. Breathe, slowly … slower. Slower, Harry … that's it. Good.'

Harry swallowed as his body calmed. 'Please tell me, Dumbledore … where's he gone? Is he ill? Is he in his rooms? I need to go to him – please, tell me where he is.'

Dumbledore looked closely into Harry's face, his blue eyes very serious. His face was grey, really grey, as grey as his hair, almost. For a split second Harry wondered what was making him look so exhausted.

And then he knew.

He choked; he could not breathe; his eyes widened as he fought for air against the shock. But he still managed to force out the words: 'Oh, God, Severus …'

'Harry, I am afraid you know where Severus has gone, but I feel that I should tell you anyway, in case you have the wrong -'

'He's gone,' Harry said brokenly, 'to sacrifice himself to Voldemort.' Saying the words somehow doubled the impact, tripled it, gave it more power than an earthquake, and a flood of anguish rose up in his throat, could not be contained. Suddenly he rose, flung himself from Dumbledore's grip and ran for the door. 'Severus … please God, no … Severus …' The sobs were like nothing he had ever felt before. The grief was too much; he could not let out a wail loud enough to express it. 'Severus!' he screamed.

Be in Scotland by sunset tomorrow …

'No – no …'

'Harry!'

Dumbledore's voice was loud, loud enough to reach the class above and make them jump in their seats – was that Dumbledore shouting? - but Harry did not hear him. All he could hear was Draco's voice, feel Severus' quiet awkward shifting, knew that he had made his mind up from the beginning. 'God, Severus …'

The tears would not stop, stung his eyes and blurred his sight so that he did not realise he was throwing aside warm bodies and limbs to get to his dormitory, to get to his broomstick … if he could get to his Firebolt, perhaps he could reach Severus before he got there, surely he had not Apparated there .. oh God, where was the dormitory?

Suddenly his body froze, and although he screamed until his lungs burned for his legs to move, no sound issued from his lips, and he was stock still, his arms by his side. He was all at once aware of a deathly silence all around him, though there were eyes, eyes that were hollow, eyes that mocked him, eyes that were frightened and eyes that were fiery with curiosity, ruthless curiosity …

Dumbledore appeared in front of him, in the sea of skin and hair and the eyes, those eyes …

'Harry,' he said calmly, 'I am taking you to my office. Please do not attempt anything – I will stop you quite easily. Come.'

With a flicker of his wand he released Harry's legs, and Harry followed him quickly, desperate above all things to get away from those dark eyes, eyes that told him that Severus was going to die. He knew he should be humiliated, but he could not bear it. All that was in his mind was Severus, and Severus' death. Severus was going to die. He was going to lose the person who knew the most about him, who cared about him the most.

Severus had sacrificed himself to save Harry.

*****

In Dumbledore's office, the Headmaster returned to Harry the full use of his body and voice. 'Harry, I'm going to explain to you what happened. Please do not interrupt yet.'

Harry nodded slowly. At least Dumbledore would tell him the truth.

'Severus came to me about an hour ago to tell me about Draco's visit. He explained to me then and there that he was going to go alone, without telling you. He did not anyone to try and stop him – he wanted to die to save you. He told me he loved you. He told me that you were young and that you deserved to live, whereas his whole life had been a lie and he did not have a reason to survive. I pointed out that you might not see it that way, but … I could not argue with him. He was crying, Harry, weeping, for you.

'Saving the school was his secondary motive. He does – did - not believe that Voldemort would leave Hogwarts alone if you both went to him, as then he would be free of his word and could do as he chose. But if only one of you went, then there was still something to bargain for. Severus thought that Voldemort had something more complex in mind for you, Harry, and that he would not simply be content with killing you in a raid on the school. The idea was to force both of you to go.

'Severus is more than aware that you are more important in fighting Voldemort than himself, and so he willingly left. He left about half an hour ago – I believe he is flying down to Hogsmeade and Apparating from there to Scotland.'

Dumbledore's eyes grew a shade darker.

'Please, Harry, do not think of going after him. You will not succeed, and Severus' intention was that you would remain safe. If you go after him, his sacrifice will have been for nothing, and you know it. Now that Severus has sacrificed himself for you, you cannot be touched. Remember your mother, Harry. Remember her sacrifice. Must another die for you? You must stay here.'

'But I loved him!' Harry burst out. 'I wanted to die with him, I … how am I supposed to live now? Without love? I know it came about strangely and quickly, and I still can't quite believe it all, and I'm probably not thinking properly, but how can it be best for me to live without anyone who understands, anyone who knows the full story?'

Dumbledore glanced downwards briefly. 'Harry, I … you can always talk to me, you know.'

'Don't pretend you understand, Dumbledore!' he flared. 'You don't know how it feels, to have something snatched away from you just as you've begun to cling to it.' More tears started up in his eyes. 'I can't carry on … there's no point.'

'Harry, you have to,' the Headmaster said firmly. 'You must keep going. Severus wanted it. Severus knew how you would feel, and he asked me to take care of you. For Severus' sake, you must go on.' Then his gaze softened. 'Please, Harry. Try.'

He rose from his chair. 'I'll let you go, now. Use Floo to get back to … well, you can use Severus' rooms if you wish. Take as long as you need to adjust to what has happened. We are all here to help you. I won't tell the staff what has happened just yet, but they will be told that Severus Snape is not returning to the school.' Dumbledore nodded. 'You may go.'

*****

A/N: That was the penultimate chapter, I believe. Strangely enough, I hadn't predicted Severus' disappearance, until suddenly Harry reached the dungeons and I knew what had to happen. Funny how things like that just push their way onto the keyboard.