Disclaimer: So I finally got Joss to meet with me the other day for my Spike/ebay vision. It wasn't easy though. He moaned and groaned, mostly due to the duck tape over his mouth and the rope tying him to the chair, but hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, ya know what I mean?!

Author's Note: I realized while overlooking my last chapter, that because I'd rushed getting it out, I had in turn done a rather shitty editing job, and for that my lovely's I apologize profusely. This next chapter is all clean and neat and ready to go, I promise. The quote below is by Heather Nova.

Better Man

Chapter 5

Alive

Life is something set to music

I can hear it when I'm sad

There's a chord in every muscle

Every kiss you ever had

There's a power when you're near me

In our heads or in our bones

I know nothing but I'm guessing

When we die we're not alone

She waited there, in the same position she had been kneeling in for a few seconds, unsure of what to do next. She waited for the owner of the voice to speak again, and when he didn't she gradually stood up, her front still facing the grave.

Slowly, very slowly, she turned to face who was standing behind her, and when she saw his face she almost collapsed.

It took her a couple of moments to find her own voice, but when she finally did all she could do was whisper his name.

"Spike."

He smiled, a little, insecure about what to do next. He had wandered into the Forrest early that morning, and found a small patch of leaves to sleep upon for a few hours. He didn't know how long he had been asleep, until he heard the sound of footsteps nearby.

He made his way across the Forrest until he came to an area surrounded by bushes. He could see a figure standing inside, and decided to find easier way to look in, without potentially scaring off the visitor He trekked along the wall of shrubs until he came to a slight opening at the head of the wall. Ever so slowly and quietly he made his way threw the opening.

Once inside, he saw the petite figure kneeling in front of a head stone. And at first it hadn't occurred to him that she was anything other than just a girl, until he looked again. Realization dawned on him. It was Buffy. His Buffy.

He stood there for a moment watching her, trying with all of his heart to stop from breaking down. He didn't know if this was a dream, or if he had finally made it to heaven, and right then it didn't matter.

A few moments later he gained the courage to speak her name. When she heard him and turned around, the sight of her beauty had completely overwhelmed him. After all of these years, and after everything that's happened, she can still take my breath away.

He sucked in a rush of air, watching her face, awed and in shock at everything that was going on. Neither of them able to process thoughts.

It took her what seemed like forever, but when she finally broke free from the haze that had clouded her mind after seeing him, she at last spoke.

"Are you real," she said softly, never once taking her eyes off of him.

He blinked, seemingly somewhat confused about what she had said. It wasn't the first thing he figured she would ask, and he had no idea how to answer her question.

"I don't know..........I hope so," he said gently, moving closer to her.

Buffy didn't know what to do, or say, or think, she felt her mind go blank. She let her instincts take over, as she stepped up to him, until they were standing almost face-to-face. She could feel his eyes boring holes into her very soul, and it took all of her will power not too look away from the intensity of it. She gazed into his eyes, letting go of all her fear and doubt and that's when she realized he was real, he was Spike.

Buffy let out a gasp as she covered her mouth with her hand. The shock of the situation barring down on her finally.

Spike smiled reassuringly at her, his eyes meeting hers once more.

"I am real Buffy, I don't know how, or why, but I am...............it's all so bloody confusing," he stammered out , bringing his hand up and brushing a piece of hair out of her face.

She smiled, and laughed in spite of herself, so happy to be able to hear his voice again, his accent, his words. She took the hand covering her mouth and brought it to his face, cupping the side of his cheek. Immediately she felt the warmth of his skin, the heat all that more prominent because of the sun shining down upon them.

"Your alive," she breathed out quickly, eyes as wide as saucers, almost unbelieving.

"I know," he whispered, leaning his face into her had, smiling at her with his eyes.

She watched his face, as if trying to remember every inch of it, scared he might disappear the next second. Her own eyes traveled down the length of his face, and stopped when she saw his throat. She blinked her eyes shut a couple of times, until she noticed that his throat was constricting in and out.

He's breathing.

"Your human", she said aloud," oh my God."

Spike brought his mouth into a smirk, as if he was laughing at some joke that only he knew." I know," he replied, " he's got a twisted sense of humor doesn't he?"

****************************************

They stood their together for so long, that when Spike finally reached up, and touched Buffy on the arm, she felt as if she had been awakened from a dream.

There were so many questions, so many things that she didn't understand, and right now neither of them cared. All they wanted to do was be there, together.

Spike was the first to speak, "Buffy, I want you to know, that I don't know how I got here or what happened, but I will find out."

There was so much to explain, that she couldn't even fathom where to begin. Then suddenly an idea came to her mind, I can bring him to the house, she thought, maybe Willow can figure out what happened, and Dawn can see him, and I can explain....... Her thoughts drifted away as she refocused her attention on the man before her.

"Come with me Spike," he smiled at the sound of his name on her lips.

"Where are you taking me pet," he asked.

"Home," she replied, grabbing his hand.

As they walked out of the cemetery, Spike caught a glance at the grave that bared his true name, noticing the small flowers that had been delicately placed all around it. The sight caught him off guard, but he thought better of saying anything, still considerably fatigued from everything that had happened. He shut his eyes for a instant as the cool breeze swept across his face, the warm feeling of Buffy's fingers still entwined with his own.

The walk back to Buffy's house felt eerily like deja-vu, and despite the million questions they had for each other, neither one spoke.

Spike could tell Buffy was nervous about something, and although he wanted to be relaxed with her, he too couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was waiting not too far behind.

When they made it into the foyer of Buffy's house, a stream of memories came flooding back to him all at once, and he had to brace himself against the wall to keep from stumbling.

"Spike, are you ok," Buffy asked, aware of his instability

He quickly collected himself and gave her a small smile. "Oh just a little tired from my travelin' an all, but other wise peachy," he said following her into the living room.

"Stay here, I'll be right back," Buffy said, as she walked down the hall and into the basement. After she left Spike patted into the living room, observing how mostly everything he remembered about the home was left untouched.

He scanned the walls of the living room looking among all of the old photos, until he came upon one Buffy, her mom, and Dawn. He smiled, recollecting what had once been of that special family. As Buffy walked into the room with a pile of clothes in her hands, Spike was brought out of his memory's.

"This is all we had left from when you were here, but I think they'll be ok, can't go wrong with black right," she said, fidgeting with the shirt sleeve, before handing him over an old pair of black jeans, and a black pullover.

He took them from her, as he nodded to her slightly in agreement. He felt so awkward at that moment, so unsure of what to do or say, to make this experience easier on both of them. He wanted to tell her how he felt about her, wanted to make sure she knew that he was as lost in all of this as she was. That he needed her help, he needed her.

"Spike," Buffy said sharply, "Hello Spike," he snapped his head up from the clothes realizing when she spoke that he had dazed out once again.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to go change in the bathroom?"

"Oh right, of course," he said turning and walking out of the room.

She watched him walk away, and then sat down on the couch once she heard the bathroom door click shut. This was the first moment since she had seen him that had a chance to think over what happened. A hundred questions came to her mind, and she began to get restless, waiting for him to return.

She could tell how tired and slow he had moved, as if all of the energy had been sucked right out of him. He also looked thinner than usual, as if he hadn't eaten for days. I have to get him some food, she thought, and then we'll talk.......................no wait, maybe he wants to take a shower, and then eat, and then we'll talk.....................or maybe he'll want to rest first. Buffy silently ran through what she should do, debating back and forth with herself. Impatiently she paced the room, ready to go ask if he was ok, when she heard some one come in the front door.

She stopped in the middle of the living room entrance to see Dawn hurriedly come through, brushing the hair out of her face as she closed the door behind her.

The second Dawn saw Buffy standing in the door way, she freaked out, realizing she was much later than she said she would be.

"I know what your thinking, but just let me explain. Ok I was on my way home from Janis' this morning when her mom offered to take us out to lunch, and ya know I couldn't say no to that. Well then, she offered to take us shopping, and one thing lead to another until I realized it was like five hours later, and I'm really really sorry, and I don't mean to babble, but please don't ground me forever ok," Dawn huffed out in one breath, looking up into her sister's eyes, pouting her bottom lip in hopes of getting some smidgen of sympathy.

Buffy glared at her younger sister mildly irritated at the whole situation; but before she could speak, another voice came from down the hallway.

"Buffy, I don't have any ideas what's goin' on, but before everythin' gets all buggared up, there's something I wanted to---,"Spike stopped mid sentence, realizing that there was another figure in the room. He had been so intent on telling Buffy exactly how he felt, that when he came walking out of the bathroom, and into the hallway, he hadn't even noticed Dawn standing there, a look of horror on her young face.

"Spike...........is that you? I-I-I mean, are you really here," she said meekly, unable to grasp him being there.

He smiled at her, " Yeah, I think so, either that or we've all entered the bleedin' Twighlight Zone."

His attempt at humor failed, and Dawn stood as if paralyzed in shock. She looked to Buffy for an answer, but Buffy only glanced at her and then back to Spike.

"But I don't understand. I-I mean, your DEAD, and.....not like undead, but dead dead, like really dead. How did you........when did you.......why did you........oh I'm so confused," she stopped herself from continuing, and began to rub the side of her temples letting out a huge breath of air.

She looked back up at him, and saw that he was staring at her apprehensively. And then it occurred to her. He's back. He's really back, oh my God!!! And with that she dropped her bag and rushed over to Spike, swinging her arms around his body, hugging him as tightly as she could.

He was so surprised by the whole act, that for a second all he could do was look to Buffy to see her reaction. When he saw her smiling, he relaxed, wrapping one arm around the young girl, and using the other to softly pat her hair.

"I'm glad to see you too, lil' bit, I'm glad too see you too."

Author's Note: Hope everyone really liked this chapter, and aren't too disappointed on the lack of smoochies, trust me there will be smoochies, you just have to be patient. And as always, read review, and don't hate me for how long the last update took, hate my stupid ass computer!!