Disclaimer: I have been having some trouble with my Spike Clone lately. It seems that in a cruel joke to get back at me, Joss had given my poor Spike Clone an overactive sex drive. So all he does is follow me around hollering at me to 'give it to him good.' And as cute as he is, it just wouldn't be right. Damn Joss and his super genius. Damn him to Hell!

A/N: Sorry for the long update, it's been a mad crazy week for me. Thanks as always to those of you who read and review!! Love ya, love ya, love ya. The quote below is from Nick Carter, and from the last chapter it was Dana Glover.

Better Man

Chapter 10

Lone Star Heart

I wish I could define

All the thoughts that crossed my mind

They seem too big for me to choose

I don't know which ones to use

When I'm falling down so far

I think I'll never see your light

Bouncing off of me

Shining down here from your eyes

"Why do I have to find him, where's Spike, Dawn," Buffy nervously questioned her sister.

"He's gone," she uttered, shifting her eyes away.

Buffy moved forward, pulling Dawn towards her. The words Dawn said, reverberating through the room and in her head.

"Gone," was all she managed to say. She'd meant it more as a question, but the hopelessness in her heart seemed to carry through to her voice. All the while, Dawn watched Buffy's expressions change, she herself beginning to feel uneasy.

"Well he's not gone, gone, he's out fro a walk-gone, but ya know, same difference," she shrugged her shoulders, a restive smile on her face.

Buffy let out a small inner sigh of relief at her sister's last words, an irritated mask covering her features, "I should kick you for that."

Dawn took a step back, putting her hands in the air as a shield, "Hey, loving, caring, younger sister here, only trying to help you figure out you love Spike."

"Dawn," Buffy said, sternly.

"Ooh see, I'm right, you never make that face unless you're trying to hide something," Dawn pointed out.

"I'm not doing this with you right now," Buffy moved to the stairs, but was stopped as Dawn stepped in front of her.

"That's what you always say, and right now this situation doesn't have to do with me, so I'll let it pass. I know this whole thing is killing you, and you don't want to pick, because you're afraid Angel will get hurt, whatever. You need to talk to Spike, Buffy, like right now, because the next time he goes out for a walk, he just might not come back."

The emotions flowing from Dawn's face were so serious that they almost seemed to have an inner sadness about them. Buffy didn't know what to say to her younger sibling, and wasn't given the chance. Dawn gave her a resolute look, and then walked passed her up the stairs, the door of her bedroom clicking shut a few seconds later.

And then the house was silent, and all that could be heard were the regular noises from the outside world. Buffy tried to shrug off Dawn's words, while she went to put her bags in her room. She attempted to keep busy with her task, but her thoughts kept floating back to Spike.  What if he does leave, she thought. He said he never would. He said he never would.

She walked out of her room and stopped in front of Willow's door. She brought her hand up and knocked a few times, not hearing any reply. She hadn't spoken to Angel or Spike since the night before, and it was making her restless, anxious. She wanted resolve, she wanted closure, she wanted everyone to be happy, and right now she wanted her best friend to make her decisions for her. But the house remained desolate, the only other occupant unable to give her any easy solutions.

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Spike had wandered around half of Sunnydale by the time night had begun to set in. He hadn't kept track of the time, but figured he'd been gone for most of the day, when he eventually made it into his old cemetery. Time seemed useless at this point to him. He tried to think of all the things he could do now that he was alive, and human. He thought about getting a job, a real job, maybe even try writing again. He thought about helping Buffy teach at her school, but quickly dismissed the thought as soon as it had come. Everything was different now that Angel was in the picture. And with that problem, brought a whole load of more questions he had no answers to.

He walked through the rows of gravestones leisurely, observing how his crypt a few feet had remained unchanged. Always alone in the dark ol' chap, Spike thought to himself. He stepped up to the door of the crypt and ran his hand across the metal gate covering the door. The world had preformed a 180 on him, compared to the last time he used to live there. But being back, the way he was now, verses before, didn't change the loneliness he felt inside.

Spike heard footsteps behind him, but knew he was in no danger. He continued to walk further into the graveyard, curious if the silent figure would follow. When he'd walked far enough, he stopped and sat on top of a large boulder nearby.

"What do you want Buffy," he breathed out, somewhat sadly.

"To see if you are ok," she replied, coming up beside him, and sitting down.

"I wagered you'd be with Peaches by now, stroking his ego and all that rot."

Buffy shot off the rock, then turning around and walking away said, "Forget it, forget I ever came by."

"Just tell me to leave Buffy, just say the words and I'm gone," he yelled to her, never moving. 

She stopped dead in her tracks, stone cold fear sweeping over her body. "I never said I wanted you to leave," she turned back, looking at him honestly.

"You never asked me to stay either," Spike stated, pushing himself off the rock into a standing position, his eyes focused on her.

"Please don't make this harder than it has to be."

"I just want know where I come in, in all of this pet. I need something," he pleaded to her, his expression unwavering.

Buffy came up in front of him, placing her hand on his arm lightly. "I don't have any answers for you, not right now. I know you hate me for that........but .....maybe, is the best I can give you," she paused a moment then added, "I still want you to come back home with me."

He moved back, feeling dejected by her answer, "Why?"

"You know why," she came up again trying to touch him, but he stepped back again.

"Yeah I do, you need me to tow the line so you don't feel guilty, well piss on that. I don't want this bloody love triangle bullshit."

She watched him begin to walk in the other direction, but cut him off before he got any further, "I care about you Spike, but you're asking me to make a choice that rips my heart apart. No matter what I do someone gets hurt. And the alternative is to leave everyone in limbo, and then we all hurt. So either way I come out of it the super bitch."

"I never said you had to make a choice Buffy, that would be the Great Poof. I, on the other hand, just want you to be happy, as cliche as that sounds," Spike retorted, crossing his arms together.

She smiled at his sentiment, softly pulling his arms apart, and entwining his hands with her own. "You want me to be happy? Then stop brooding and come back home with me," she inched him towards the road, linking her arm with his.

All the while Spike tried to hide his emotions, but a small grin broke through. They continued to walk in silence, until they rounded the corner. Spike turned his head towards Buffy," I do not brood," he declared, " I pout, often mope, and sometimes sulk, but never do I ever brood."

Buffy laughed out loud, pulling his arm tighter in her grasp, "Keep telling yourself that bleach boy."

A/N: A new chapter is soon on its way! Don't forget to review!!